Good Love

After Jared had gotten home last night -an interruption yet still a blessing- Annie had graciously taken her medicine and then proceeded to pass out in her room.

She'd wanted John to stay with her through the night, to give her comfort, but of course, Jared had called him out to the living room to discuss plans for the band and their new album.

So she fell asleep alone. And woke up alone. Ate breakfast alone, walked into town alone, ate lunch and then dinner alone, and fell asleep early, alone, again that night.

Apparently the boys were meeting up with their record label in LA and wouldn't be back until late that night.

Annie could have called someone -Austin, Halvo, Tessa- to spend the day with her, yet she didn't. She needed the solitude, the silence.

She needed time to think about her and John's almost-kiss last night.

At this point, she knew she was stuck; there was no denying it. There was definitely something going on between the two of them.

And that scared the hell out of her.

The fact that someone truly, honestly might care about her was terrifying. Because she didn't think she'd ever be the girl that settled down and bought a cute little house with her long-time boyfriend and had a dog and popped out babies and lived happily ever after. That wasn't her. Never would be.

Yet John had such a hold on her that she couldn't turn away from him if she tried (which also scared her. How terrifying is it to want someone much more than they want you?).

The knowing was what killed her. The knowing that something bad is going to happen if she lets the light in.

***

That night, around two in the morning, Annie was still tossing and turning in her bed when she heard the front door open, followed by the muffled sound of footsteps in the living room. Her ears automatically recognized John's voice, but she didn't get out of bed to greet him like she wanted to. Instead, she stayed put, listening in silence to the cadence of the two boys' voices. When Jared poked his head into her room to see if she was awake or not, Annie feigned sleep, as if she were a child again.

When the boys migrated to their rooms and had been quiet for ten or so minutes, Annie slipped out of bed, padded across the hallway and twisted the knob of John's door, wincing as it creaked loudly.

"Ann? I thought you were asleep?" he asked, motioning with his arms for her to get in bed with him.

"Nah, I've been awake," she admitted sheepishly.

"I'm glad. I've been dying to see you all day." He smiled nervously. After their almost-kiss the night before, John had made a promise to himself to not hold back anymore. He was going to tell Annie how he felt every second he could, and hope that she didn't brutally reject him.

"How was the trip to LA?" she asked, ignoring his last comment as she laid her head on John's extra pillow.

"Horrible. Our producer hates every new song we've done."

"But your new songs are so good! I love them! You love them!"

"I know. I thought, maybe, I wrote some good, genuine material? But nah. All that people like these days is hip hop-shit nonsense that has meaningless lyrics. We're a dying breed, I guess," he ranted, all of his feelings of exhaustion and frustration returning.

"You're a pioneer. You have to figure out a way to pave your own trails, because no one else will for you."

"Damn," he sighed, laying down on his pillow and faced her. "You're so wise, for a blondie."

"Goddamn it, John," Annie laughed. "I was feeling so smart and philosophical until you just tore me down. Asshole."

He chuckled, anxiously inching his way closer to the middle of the bed, closer to her. "You know I'm just kidding ya, darlin'."

"So.." she whispered, blinking in the dark. "If I'm not a blondie, then what I am?"

"You really want me to answer that? You might not like what you hear."

When she nodded, biting her lip, he continued. "You are a beautiful, smart, amazing young woman. The strongest I've ever met. And I can't believe you're wasting your time laying in my bed, but I'm damn glad you are."

"John-"

"There's no ignoring it anymore, Annie. You aren't just Jared's little sister. You're Annabelle Monaco, and I want you in my bed every night."

She was quiet, thinking over her options as his knees bumped into hers.

Isn't this what she was afraid of?

And at the same time, it was exactly what she wanted.

"I don't know what to say, John," she said finally.

"You can't tell me that there's nothing between us, Ann. If there wasn't, you wouldn't be here right now. You'd be in your own bed."

She felt like she was drowning. She had to make a decision, fast, and that's what caused her to panic. Her heart was thumping, threatening to burst inside her chest. She was so unsettled that she didn't even remember how she'd gotten into John's arms. Yet once again, he smoothed out the wrinkles in her mind, even though he was the one who crinkled it in the first place.

"Don't cry, baby, don't cry. I'm sorry, you don't have to say anything. You don't have to make any decisions right now. Please, Ann, don't cry," he cooed, wiping the tears she didn't realize she had off of her cheeks.

She felt like running away, getting on a train and riding somewhere hours away. Maybe up in the mountains, or back to the beach in California where it all had started, where John had kissed her that very first time, weeks and weeks ago.

But instead she clung to him, glad for the darkness that concealed her face. "I'm afraid that - that I like you an awful lot, O'Callaghan, but I'm not sure.. I'm not sure what to do."

"I am," he said, and then they were kissing.

It was weeks worth of tension and feeling in one moment, compressed into a long, passionate kiss.

The room was quiet except for the rustling of the bed comforter and the sound of connected lips, and the moment felt so pure, so clean and immaculate. They were articulating feelings without using words.

"God, I've been thinking about you all day, Belle," John whispered, out of breath as they pressed themselves against each other.

"Belle?" She smiled against his lips. It was so amazing to finally kiss him; what had she ever been scared of?

"That's your new nickname. I need something to call you that only I can say."

And then it was quiet again, because they were kissing and kissing and kissing. Never able to get enough of each other, never able to let go.

John was scared that he'd lose her just as quickly as he got her.

And Annie was scared that he would change his mind as fiercely as he'd expressed it the first time.

"Will you still be here in the morning?" he asked, rubbing his nose against hers.

"Will you still want me in the morning?"

"I'll want you every morning, Belle."

She smiled. "Then remember that I'm yours, John. Even if I'm too scared to say it."

They fell asleep, wrapped up in each other after they were exhausted from kissing.

And in the morning, just like they'd promised each other, they awoke the same way they'd fallen asleep.