Good Love

“Hey, Ann.. So, there was something I also wanted to tell you,” Austin said, his voice cracking over the phone speaker.

“Yeah? What is it, Gibbs?”

“Well, see, last night.. you know how I was pretty wasted?”

Well, shit. Things never ended well when Austin was drunk. Ever.

She sighed. “Give me the bad news, Austin. Just spit it out.”

“ItoldtheguysaboutwhathappenedtoyouinChicago,” he said quickly, all of his words running together. 

“Wait, what? All I caught was Chicago. Slow down, dude.”

There was a long sigh, and then a pause. When he finally started talking, she and Jared had already reached their destination: Tim’s house. Tim’s party. “When I was drunk, I told the guys about what happened to you in Chicago.”

Austin waited for the blow. He knew it was coming. Three, two, one...

“You did what?!” Right on time.

“I’m sorry, Ann! I didn’t mean to, honest. We were all drunk as hell, and someone mentioned you, and I just blurted it out without thinking. But the guys are all your friends, they love you! What are you afraid of?”

“What am I afraid of, Austin? What am I afraid of?!” she growled. Jared gave her a look from the drivers seat, but she ignored him. “Go inside Jared, I’ll be there in a second. I have to deal with Gibbs, causing shit again.” She waited until her brother left the car to start talking again. “I’m afraid because, I don’t want them to treat me like a little girl! I don’t want them to be all overly protective like Jared! I don’t want them throwing me pity parties!”

“I don’t think they’ll do that, Ann-”

“Oh, shut up. You know they will. I’m one of the only girls in the group. You know they’re going to treat me like glass, now.”

“In my defense, Annie, it’s kind of impossible to treat you like glass, when you run around being reckless as hell. You’re the most stubborn girl we know. Now will you come inside and talk to us, or what?”

Of course, Austin was already at Tim’s. The guys had all probably been listening in on their conversation, too. Fucking Gibbs.

She hung up and pulled out a cigarette, deciding that goddamn it, she deserved one. And it’d help calm her anger, which she’d definitely need in order to not murder Austin, no matter how much she wanted to.

Who all had Austin told?

Hopefully, it was only her boys in The Maine and This Century. And A Rocket to the Moon. If it was only them, her close friends, she could handle that. But if anyone outside their circle knew, and gave her even one look of pity, she was kicking Austin’s ass. Good thing she’d worn her boots tonight.

She sighed, getting out of the car after she finished her cigarette. Annie walked to the front door, not bothering to knock as she let herself in. She walked through the familiar house to find her friends gathered in the living room, bags of chips and bottles of beer all over. Her eyes immediately found Austin, who was hiding behind Jared at the end of the couch.

And as she glared at him, her eyes quickly assessing the situation, all she could think about was the fact that John wasn’t here.

It had been two days since their moment on the balcony, almost three since they confessed their feelings for each other. But after their kiss when John had been upset, Annie had told him she needed a little time to think. To sort out her thoughts.

So naturally, John had been as distant as possible, and it was driving her crazy. She wanted him; she didn’t want him. She wanted him, but she didn’t want the frightening idea of a relationship. She didn’t want the vulnerability.

Annie was losing her mind, and to make it even better, she had no one to talk about it with. She couldn’t tell any of her friends, because she and John had agreed to keep it a secret until things were sorted out, and Macy hadn’t returned any of her calls in the past few days. Her life felt like a mess.

And now, everyone in the room was watching her, watching her reaction. First, it was completely silent as all conversation stopped when the noticed her. But after thirty seconds, the air was broken as Garrett laughed loudly.

“Look at yourself, Austin. You’re scared shitless!”

“Hell yeah I am! Have you seen her?! She’d break my neck in an instant.”

After that, the room was filled with more laughter and conversation, which made her feel slightly better, though she was still angry.

She walked over to her best friend and smacked him upside the head before finding a seat on the carpeted floor next to Joel and Halvo.

“Ow!”

“Oh shut up, you little faggot. You deserved it,” Annie snapped, but everyone could tell her anger was subsiding now that she saw how everyone was reacting. She turned when she felt someone poking her leg, and came face to face with Eric.

“How come you didn’t tell us?”

“I dunno, Halvo. I guess I just didn’t want to have to talk about it. I don’t want anyone’s pity.”

“Annie, you know you’re the last person that would get any of our pity! Like Austin said, you’re the most hardcore girl we know. But I do wish you had told us yourself,” Joel added.

“Yeah! We just want you to know that we’re here for you. All of us,” Garrett said, and everyone nodded in agreement with him.

“Of course we are, Annie. I’m just pissed as hell that it even happened in the first place,” Eric said.

“God, yes. I’d love to find that sick bastard and wring his neck!” Pat yelled, and everyone laughed.

“Pat, you couldn’t hurt anyone if you tried,” Kenny said, earning a look from the other boy.

“That’s okay, Pattycakes, it’s the thought that counts,” Annie said, getting up and hugging the boy. “Thank you, everyone.”

“See, sis, I told you it’d be alright,” Jared said, smiling at his baby sister. God, how she loved him at that moment for introducing her to all of these amazing people. She couldn’t imagine her life without them now, all gathered around her, smiling. It was home.

But there was still someone missing.

“So where’s John?” she asked, trying not to blush as she sat back down next to Eric and Joel. She hadn’t seen him all day; he’d been gone when she woke up, though he had probably spent the night at Halvo’s, considering they’d all been drinking. And then he hadn’t come home at all that day.

“We don’t know. I think he went to his parent’s place.”

“Oh. Does he..does he know, too?”

“Yeah, I think so. He was pretty upset about it.”

***

A few hours later, Jared’s phone rang. “What’s up, John?”

Annie ignored it, even though his name sparked interest in her, and continued talking to her friends about the photography studio she’d just started working at.

But twenty seconds later, her brother was tugging on her sleeve and begging for a favor. “Can you go pick up John?”

“What? Why?”

“His car broke down, and he needs someone to come get him, and I’ve had too many drinks.”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed Jared’s cellphone, asking John for directions on where he was exactly. Once he told her, she headed out the door, yelling a quick goodbye to everyone.

She wasn’t really looking forward to one-on-one confrontation with John about the news he’d recently learned about her, but what else could she do?

She got in Jared’s car, once again making her wish for her own car. She almost had enough saved up to buy one herself, with the money she’d saved from working part-time at that pub and now, starting the job at Dirk’s studio. It’d probably end up being a shitty little thing of a car, but she’d take whatever she could get.

Annie followed the road, riding on the freeway for a few minutes. The sun had just set, and only a sliver of light was left in the sky as she hung her left hand out the window. The wind was whipping her hair around, pulling it out of the loose bun she’d put it into earlier, but she didn’t care. It felt so damn good not to care.

Finally, she saw the exit John had told her to take, and drove a couple of miles until she saw his old, white pick-up truck. There he was, leaning against the door, smoking a cigarette.

She parked the car behind his and got out, walking over to him with crossed arms. She didn’t know how he’d react to the news Austin had told him. “Aren’t you getting a little cold, O’Callaghan?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty chilly,” he said, looking at her for the first time. There was a distant look in his eyes. “Will you hold me and make it better?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I think you’ll survive. Now come on, let’s go,” she said, reaching for the sleeve of his shirt.

“Where are we going?” he asked, following her back to the car. She shrugged, getting into the drivers seat. “Wait, I wanna drive!” he whined.

“Nope. I’m driving. Sorry,” she said flatly, staring at him until he got into the passenger seat, pouting. “So we should probably go back to Tim’s house, so Jared has a ride home,” she said quietly, starting up the car and turning on the radio in attempt to get rid of the awkward tension in the air. John didn’t respond, he just kept looking out the window. She knew they were feeling awkward because of his knowledge of the incident, but she didn’t know how to fix it. “So, um, what’d you do today?”

“I hung out with my brothers,” he answered, his voice raw and hoarse. “Then I visited my mom and dad.”

“That sounds nice,” she said softly, not knowing what to say. There was a good forty-five seconds of silence before she spoke again, though it felt like an hour. “You know, it’s kind of funny. You drive a pick-up truck, except I’m the one picking you up.”

He looked at her again, cracking a small smile.

Annie smiled and hummed a response back and focused on driving. The rest of the drive back to Tim’s was quiet and uneventful. She noticed John fidgeting out of the corner of her eye the entire ride.

She parked down the block, which was as close as she could get with all of the other cars parked along the road. She turned the ignition off, pulling out the keys and dropping them in her purse before looking up at John, who was staring at her.

“Ann, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice breaking. “Why’d I have to hear it from Austin and not you?”

Annie leaned back against the seat, closing her eyes and focusing on breathing. Inhale, exhale. Repeat. “It’s not something I like to talk about, John.”

“But don’t you think it’s something we should know?”

She opened her eyes, the nerves in her stomach fluttering. “No. It doesn’t define who I am, John. It’s a part of my past, and I’m trying to move on.”

“So that’s why you were covered in bruises when you first got here,” he said. It all made sense, now. It explained why she flinched when someone touched her, why she liked being alone, why she didn’t like to go out. “God, it makes me so sick, Annie. So fucking sick.” He couldn’t stop imagining her, lying in an alley, as someone hurt her.

She reached over, placing her hand on his, surprising him. “I know. It’s okay. I’m doing a lot better than I was, and I want you to know it’s because I moved down here. Thank you, for letting me into your group of friends.”

Suddenly, John’s lips were on hers, pressing light, sweet kisses. He couldn’t help it; the urge to kiss her was overwhelming. It took her by surprise, but not in a way that it had the very first time he’d kissed her. This time, she trusted John. She knew he wasn’t trying to take advantage of her. He never would.

Instead of pulling away, she leaned into him, climbing over the center console of the car and sitting on his lap. He pressed another gentle kiss on her lips before pulling his face away to catch his breath.

John buried his face in her neck, tiny strands of her hair tickling his nose. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She shook her head, wrapping his arms around his neck, hugging herself to him as if to say it was okay. She didn’t understand what was happening, but as she sat with him, his skin pressed against hers, she knew it would be okay. Whenever she was around him she felt that, and she vowed never to take that for granted.

“I’m so angry. I’m trying not to be, but I am,” he said, wrapping his arms tighter around her waist. It felt so good to hold her and be held by her. “I want to find whoever did that to you, and kill them. I want to throw them in jail and make them suffer for the rest of their life. I want to-”

He was cut off as Annie pressed her lips to his this time. It was a rougher, stronger kiss than what he’d given her, but he didn’t mind. It felt right. “Being angry isn’t going to help, John. It’s not going to turn back time and stop what happened. So please don’t be angry,” she mumbled against his lips.

He nodded, their faces still touching. At this point, he probably do anything she asked him to. Like, hey John, wanna snort some fun dip? You bet.

“I’ll try,” he whispered, kissing her again. He should have been thinking about the reality of what he was doing; he was kissing his best friend’s little sister.

But to him, she was a hell of a lot more than just Jared’s sister. She was... Annie. And all he was thinking about was the fact that he felt a whole lot better than he had twenty minutes ago. He was feeling better by the second.

Annie laid her head in the crook of his neck and he laid his head on top of hers, letting their breathing return to normal. They hugged each other tighter, succumbing to the feeling of being held.

After a few minutes, Annie raised her head. “John, we need to go.”

“Ugh, why,” he whined, nuzzling his face into her neck again. She laughed softly, tickled by the feeling. God, he loved the sound of her laugh.

“Because everyone’s going to wonder where we are,” she answered, already pulling away. He groaned in protest as she reached towards the door and pushed it open, letting the night air in. There wasn’t a trace of light in the sky, now. Just a few twinkling stars.

She hopped out of the car first, and he followed. He shut the door as he watched her straighten out her clothes before grabbing the car keys from her purse and locking the car. When she looked at him, he could see the uncertainty and nervousness in her eyes. What were they doing?

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry if that was too far,” he stuttered, his confidence deflating like a balloon. “I know you’re still, uh, thinking about things.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind, JohnO,” Annie smiled, winking at him, though he could still see the hesitation in her eyes and hear it in her voice. “You know how I feel about you.”

“Does that mean I get one more kiss for the road?” he asked, smiling crookedly, though he was really testing her reaction.

Annie rolled her eyes, grabbing the front of his shirt with both hands and pulling him to her. His grin grew as their lips connected in a deep kiss, one that left them both gasping for air.

“I feel better now, you know,” he said with a ragged voice, his arms on either side of her head as she leaned against the car. “Wait. Oh my god. We just made out in your brother’s car. Holy shit. I’m so dead, he’s going to kill me! I’m dead!” he cried.

Annie giggled and stopped his rant with another kiss. “Do you regret it, O’Callaghan?”

He immediately shook his head and smirked. “Fuck no.”

“Then no more freaking out, okay?” she replied, smiling at him. That smile felt like a huge victory after all she’d been through.

He chuckled, kissing her one more time. “Ann, what are we doing? What does all of this mean? Because-”

Another kiss. God, all you had to do to get boys to shut up was simple: kiss them. “Shh,” she said. “We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” But the truth was, she had no idea.

He sighed and nodded. It wasn’t the response he wanted, but he’d take it. John followed her towards the front door of Tim’s house, Annie’s fingers laced in his as they walked on the sidewalk in the dark. When they reached the front door, she squeezed his hand and let go, and he knew their moment was over.