Good Love

That morning, Annie’s nerves were a taught wire; last night, she couldn’t even sleep because of the thoughts swirling in her head like blinding squalls of snow.

And the cause: Jared’s friend and roommate was coming home today. In three hours.

Currently, Annie was pouring herself her third cup of coffee. She had woken up at six-thirty in the morning, after all. She was in no way an early bird, but today was her exception. The hiccups in her gut kept her awake.

She sighed and moved back to her spot at the small dining room table, where Jared and Tessa were sitting and talking about Tessa’s new schedule at work. Annie was eternally grateful that she came over so early -it was now close to eight o’clock- because Tessa had brought her new rolls of camera film from the Walgreens down the road. Her hands had been itching to use her old camera for days.

“So, how’re you holdin’ up, sis?” Jared asked her as she sat down.

She knew it was silly to be stressed out over meeting Jared’s roommate, who was also his bandmate. After all, she’d be living with him for an indefinite amount of time, and both Jared and Tessa had assured her many times that his friend, John, was a good guy.

John. That name sounded so familiar; did she know a John here? Or back in Chicago, maybe? The answer she wanted sat right on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be realized and spoken, but she couldn’t hold it for long enough to actually remember.

“I’m fine, Jared. Thanks again for the film, Tess,” she said.

“No problem, Annie. I’d love to see some of the pictures you’ve taken sometime, though,” Tessa answered, smiling warmly at her. Even though she was her brother’s girlfriend after all, and they were sort of supposed to be friends, Annie had a feeling the two of them would become pretty close. Annie had always been a good judge of character, and Tessa definitely seemed like a good person.

“Once I take some and get them developed, I’ll be sure to show them to you,” Annie replied, deciding that right then, she’d venture out towards town -which was only about a five minute walk from the apartment- and get some photographs. Maybe it’d help her calm down.

She told her brother and Tessa what she was doing, and, after getting dressed and grabbing her camera, she was gone.

***

Walking down the sidewalk, Annie felt more relaxed than she had in a while. She didn’t know if it was the sweater that completely covered the bruises on her arms, the quiet way everyone went about their business, the way the cool breeze calmed the nerves in her stomach, or the familiar opening and closing of her camera’s shutter as it took a picture.

Even though she hadn’t even been back to Arizona for a week, it already felt a little more like home again. The streets weren’t crowded and rushed like Chicago; the cars drove in single lines and pedestrians followed street signs and no one was honking or yelling at a fellow stranger. Compared to Chicago, Tempe was a utopia.

As she passed the bar she went to a couple of nights ago, she thought about going in and saying hello to the bartender, Stephen, but it wasn’t open yet. She decided she’d definitely go in sometime soon, not necessarily to drink, but to relax in the atmosphere and have a nice, normal chat with Stephen.

Annie continued walking, feeling free as she raised her camera and pointed it at an old white truck pulled over across the wide street, loving the way it looked against the desert behind it. From the hidden side of the truck, a tall figure appeared and pulled open the hood, emitting a blast of smoke into his face.

She contemplated walking over and offering help; she knew a thing or two about engines, considering one of her close friends back in Chicago was a mechanic. But after a couple of minutes of watching the stranger work on his truck, she decided against it. He’d be fine.

Instead, she turned around to find a quaint little bookstore, just a few stores down from the bar. Smiling, she pushed open the door, the bell ringing as she stepped inside.

“Good morning, miss,” a boy with thick, jet black hair said, smiling as Annie crossed the threshold.

“Morning,” she replied, captivated by shelf after shelf of books; there were sections for new-releases, nonfictions, used, and children’s. There was a book section for every book Annie could think of. “Wow,” Annie said. “You have so many books. I could get lost in here.”

The boy at the counter nodded and glanced around at her inventory. “Books are a good place to get lost in.”

Despite Annie’s skepticism of new people, she looked at him and smiled. “Where should I start?”

“Here, I’ll show you,” he said, lithely hopping over the counter and walking back towards a book shelf in the middle of the store, which was bigger than it appeared to be from the outside. Annie was surprised at how many shelves were actually in here.

“This is my favorite section,” he said, tugging on the hem of his uniform t-shirt.

Annie scanned the titles of the books, and after recognizing some, she looked up at him and grinned. He’d been watching for her reaction with a shy smile on his face.

“You’re a fan of poetry?” she questioned, running her fingers over the spines.

“I am,” he said, letting out a little laugh.

“Wow,” Annie said for the second time, tilting her head back to look at the books above her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been graced with long legs.

“What?” he asked, laughing as he pulled a couple of books from their shelf and rearranging them in their correct order.

This time, Annie looked over, scrutinizing him. “You’re, what, in your twenties? Most guys don’t even read, let alone read poetry.”

The boy let out a laugh. “True. But, there’s not much else to do here in Tempe, anyways.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, but he’d already started walking back to his place behind the counter.

“You must be new here,” he called.

No, she thought. Actually, I’m old. I’m old here.

Annie spun around, heading for the isle behind her, instantly forgetting about her worries as the smell of ink and paper enveloped her.

***

Ashamedly, Annie had sat in the back of the bookstore for nearly two hours, reading a new novel she’d found.

She easily knew that the reason she’d been here so long was the fact that she was avoiding home. She was avoiding meeting Jared’s friend.

But for now, she was content to sit with her procrastination and probable stupidity and the soft fabric of the old armchair she was sitting on.

While she’d been sitting, she counted a grand total of four people enter the store. As a result, the cashier she’d talked to earlier- who she learned was named Lucas- had deduced himself to make friendly conversation with her.

Laughing at a corny joke of his, Annie decided that living here in Arizona wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d made it out to be when she was younger. So far, she actually hadn’t had any bad experiences here.

“So what kind of camera is that?” Lucas asked her as he sat on a stool across from her, jerking his head towards the camera tucked by Annie’s side.

“It’s pretty old,” she said, smiling as she ran her fingers over the manual dials. “I don’t exactly know. It’s a Minolta, and it’s older than me, I think.”

He let out a little laugh. “And how old are you, exactly?”

“Just twenty-one.”

He nodded. “At least you’re legal... So, blondie,” he started (he’d taken to calling her “blondie”, which both frustrated and flattered Annie), drawling out his words carefully, like he wasn’t quite sure what he exactly wanted to say, yet.

“Yes?”

“Well, what are you doing here? I mean, it’s great that you like books -I think those of us that do are a becoming a dying breed- but don’t you have somewhere to be? It’s close to noon on a Thursday.”

Lucas’s question left Annie tongue-tied. How pathetic would it be to tell a stranger about how you’re terrified to meet your roommate?

So instead, she bit the inside of her cheek and said, “No, I just needed to get out of the house, you know? Spend some time in a different place. And this store is very cozy.” Annie flashed a final, brilliant smile and walked past Lucas to the register to pay for her book.

“But you’re probably right,” she added as he followed her. “I should probably get going.”

“Well,” Lucas said as he handed her the book after she purchased it, “it was great to meet you. We sure don’t see too many people like you here in Tempe.”

Instead of replying, she returned his smile and strode out the door, not bothering to look which way she was heading.

***

Twenty minutes later, Annie found herself reluctantly wandering back in the direction of Jared’s -and hers, now, too- apartment.

When she reached the parking lot by the complex, she knew Jared’s friend was here. There was an unfamiliar truck parked across from Jared’s van.

As she started climbing up the stairs past the apartment lobby, Annie felt different.

She didn’t know if it was her long walk around town, the new possibilities of escape in her hand in the form of a book, or her lively conversations with Lucas that made her feel human for the first time in a while, but Annie definitely felt more like herself than she had the past few days, even if it was just a little more. She felt ready to face her demons, in a sense.

Which is exactly what happened as she twisted the doorknob of apartment 139, causing all conversations to halt and all eyes to glue themselves to her.

She didn’t feel nervous yet; she was still concealed from anyone’s view by the long hallway separating the front door from the living room.

She still didn’t feel nervous as she walked down the hallway, lingering on each step she took, listening to the heel of her shoes tap against the wooden flooring.

As she stepped into view of the living room, she heard Jared’s voice cheerfully call out, “Annie, there you are!” and out of her peripheral vision, she saw another head turn and look at her.

When her blue eyes locked with his pair of strangely familiar green ones, she finally felt nervous.