Good Love

“Holy shit, you studied at Northwestern?” Garrett, The Maine’s bass player, gasped. He was a little taller than her, with messy brown hair reaching his shoulders, a mustache, and a small goatee. Apparently the boys had been nagging him to get a haircut and shave. Jared had even introduced him as “Emo Jesus.”

Annie laughed at his excitement. “Yeah, I was there for two full years, but I just dropped out last week.”

“Damn! If I ever need some smart-person shit solved, I know who to call!” joked the guitar player, Kennedy. He was tall with dark brown hair (what was up with all these brown-haired guys?) and a sweet personality to match. He’d been the first to greet Annie when she stormed in after yelling at John. Her mood instantly calmed when he flashed his cute, genuine smile.

“I dunno, Kennedy. I wouldn’t call me if I were you. I can’t even solve my own problems!” she smiled, letting them know she was joking. She wasn’t the best at expressing emotions.

“Hey, who is, though?” Kennedy said, raising the beer bottle in his hand in agreement. It was five o’clock, after all. “Annie, you want a drink?” he asked, motioning towards a big fridge in the corner of the room.

Her eyes instantly looked at Jared, who was raising his eyes at her. Accepting that it wasn’t a good idea to be drinking, she politely declined. She expected Kennedy to ask again, to put more pressure on her to drink, but all he did was nod and smile before launching into another conversation with Garrett.

After the boys had performed a few songs -she was impressed, if she was being honest- they all filed into the lounge room and took a break. Apparently being rockstars was quite exhausting.

“So, you don’t like to be touched, and you don’t like to drink. Who are you, Annie?” a voice asked, their mouth close to her ear. She instinctively spun around, only to come face to face with John.

Her eyes narrowed. “I know who I’m sure as hell not,” she said. “I’m not an arrogant, over-confident know-it-all, like you. Why would you even bother learning who I am, anyways?”

“Hey, blondie, calm down! I was only joking. Your catholic dress on too tight, or something?”

Annie let out a dark laugh. “I don’t get why my brother is even friends with you. Besides opening the apartment door, you’ve done nothing but disrespect me ever since I’ve gotten here. What’s your problem? What the hell have I done to you?” She had to work to keep her voice low, so she wouldn’t cause a scene.

“Done nothing but disrespect you? I opened the car door for you! Doesn’t that count?!”

“Yes, it does. But you know what? It gets overruled by everything else. You’re purposefully trying to drive me crazy and evade my personal space! Now what kind of goddamn respect is that?”

He stared at her, not saying anything, only lifting his beer bottle to his lips and taking a long swig.

Before walking away from him, she whispered one more painful little truth. “You are a pig.”

She wanted to scream. And run. She really, really wanted to run. She didn’t want anyone to notice her, so she calmly left the lounge and found the staircase leading back the way they’d come earlier.

She tried remembering which ways to turn to reach the door, but couldn’t, with the anger flowing through her veins so quickly, heating her entire body. If she didn’t get outside soon, she’d croak.

After making three wrong turns, she finally saw the glow of the sun from the end of a hall and ran towards it. She pushed open the door, the sunlight temporarily blinding her, and sat on the hot concrete with her back against the wall. Jared would already be worried when he didn’t see her in the basement lounge, so she figured she’d better not go any farther than outside. Besides, she didn’t think she could even walk farther than a block, and the only thing a block away was an old law firm. Nothing exciting there.

So she sat there, eyes closed, her face tilted towards the sun, for god knows how long. She sat, and tried her hardest to turn her brain off. If only it were that easy.

God, how nice a cigarette would be right now, she thought. She wasn’t a smoker and never had been, though she’d had the occasional smoke or two. It took the edge off. And anyone could tell, she needed the goddamn edge off.

But instead she pushed the thought of a smoke away, because she knew she wouldn’t do anything to help it. Though she couldn’t wait to get home and swallow a few sleeping pills.

Ten minutes later, she felt a vibration in her pocket, and instantly knew it was her brother calling, searching for her.

“Hello. Annabelle Monaco speaking.”

“Funny. Where the hell are you, Annie?”

“I, uh, needed some air. I’m right outside the building, okay? You don’t need to chase after me. I’m fine.”

“Ann, I know you’re not fine. But I’ll leave you be, for now. Are you sure you’re alright, up there?” Jared asked, genuine concern in his voice. He’d always been overly protective.

She sighed. She couldn’t keep up this act of impenetrable strength. Not in front of her brother. “Jared, I think I need to go to a doctor.”

The other end of the line was silent for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I thought you might. I’ll schedule you an appointment when we get home, okay?”

“Kay,” she said, her breath rushing out all at once. A single syllable was all she could muster up.

“We’re gonna work this out, sis. It’s gonna be alright, you know?”

She nodded her head, even though he couldn’t see her. “I know, Jare. Thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too, Annie. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay? Call me if you need anything.” And with that, the two siblings hung up.

She continued to sit on the hard concrete, feeling the sun warm her entire body. She stretched her neck so her face was in direct sunlight, turning the back of her eyelids red.

Before she knew it, she heard familiar voices next to her, and opened her eyes to see her brother and Garrett crouched down next to her.

“Hey, sleeping beauty! Get up! Time’s a’ wastin’!” Garrett said excitedly, making her laugh.

“We’re getting pizza, sis. Come on,” Jared said, pulling her off the ground. She dusted herself off as she followed the other boys, letting Jared know that she’d ride with Garrett in his obnoxious yellow car to the restaurant. She didn’t think she could stand a car ride with John, not even one as short as a mile down the road.

Garrett and Pat, the drummer, talked animatedly in the front seats, laughing about nonsense.

She sat in the back next to Kennedy, who seemed to realize she wasn’t up for conversation and politely left her alone. She stared out the window, the landscape blurring as they drove down the highway.

“You’re okay with pizza, right Annie?” Kennedy asked as they pulled into the parking lot at Pizza Hut, parking next to Jared’s car. The rest of their group must’ve already gone inside.

She smiled at his politeness. “Of course. Pizza’s great.”

“Pizza is great!” Pat shrieked, running towards the door of the restaurant. She laughed when she saw Garrett shaking his head at his friend.

“Is he always like this?” she asked.

“Unfortunately, yes. We’ll be lucky if we can make it through dinner without Pat making a scene,” Garrett answered as they followed after Pat.

When they reached the front door, Annie was slightly surprised to see John leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. She fully intended to ignore him and walk inside, but he called her name and she knew she couldn’t ignore him.

Garrett and Kennedy continued inside, giving her sympathetic looks as they left her with John.

“What do you want?” she said, her voice mixed with venom and indifference.

“I wanted to apologize. I was being a huge dick earlier, and I’m sorry. I guess it’s just kinda weird having you around, since we’ve never actually had a normal conversation and all. But that’s no excuse. I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole and hate me especially when we sleep in the same house,” he said, his voice full of sincerity.

“Alright,” Annie said, before she even knew what she was doing. He seemed so full of charisma and honesty; it was hard to deny.

“So we can start over and be friends?” he asked excitedly, making her laugh.

“I suppose... if you give me a drag of your cigarette,” she said, smiling wickedly.

He laughed and handed it to her. She immediately put it in her mouth and sucked in a long breath, inhaling her poison. She instantly felt her nerves calm.

She handed him the stick back, and he dropped it on the concrete after taking one last drag.

“You’re on probation, O’Callaghan.”

***

“So Annie, would you rather brush a shark’s teeth or clean Pat’s room?” Garrett asked, making Tessa groan as they continued their ridiculous game of Would-You-Rather.

“Don’t talk about Pat’s room while I’m eating!” she squealed, laughing from the other end of the table.

After John and Annie had made amends, dinner had been going fairly well. Everyone had been laughing; it was contagious.

“Is Pat’s room really that bad?” Annie asked Garrett, who was sitting next to her in the large booth.

Garrett was shaking his head when Pat screeched from Annie’s other side. “My room is perfectly fine!!”

The entire table erupted into shouts of denial and insults. Annie laughed as Pat tried to hide from everyone by putting his head inside his shirt.

They all stared at him as he ‘hid’ inside his shirt for a few minutes, until he finally sat up and revealed himself, his hair tucked behind his ears.

“I am Micheal Christ! Watch out for the cheese!” he yelled, his voice raising several octaves and making their friends whine.

Annie turned to Garrett, who was trying not to laugh. “What the fuck is going on? What’s wrong with the cheese?”

Garrett shook his head. “This is what I was warning you about! Pat has an alter ego named Micheal and he goes completely berserk for no reason.”

Annie laughed as Pat continued his crazy antics for a good ten minutes, standing up on the seat and yelling.

She felt someone looking at her, and noticed John, across the table from her, was in fact, staring at her.

She would have asked him what the hell he was looking at, but didn’t think he’d hear her over their table’s yelling, so she raised an eyebrow at him.

Instead of answering, he just smiled crookedly. She rolled her eyes and looked over at her brother, who was in conversation with a Pizza Hut worker. He looked angry as he motion towards the door. Tessa looked like she was trying not to laugh from her seat next to Jared.

The waiter stormed off. After he left, Jared stood and told everyone to get their asses up.

“Pat, did you get us kicked out of a restaurant again??” Garrett whined, following everyone out towards the parking lot.

“So he’s done this before?” Annie asked Tessa. The two girls lagged behind, letting the boys run off ahead as they ran in the parking lot. Annie had never seen her brother so happy.

Tess laughed and nodded. “Oh yeah. This is the third Pizza Hut we’ve gotten kicked out of.”

“Wow. I guess Tempe’s more interesting than I thought.”

“You’d be surprised. What’d you think of band practice? They boys are pretty good, huh?”

“Yeah, they really are. John’s got a good voice, and I love the sound. Very rock n’ roll.”

Tessa smiled as they reached their cars. “I’m really glad you’re here, Annie. It’s nice having another girl around.”

The sincere tone of Tessa’s voice and the words themselves made Annie want to cry. It’d been a long time since someone had said something like that to her before.

“Thanks, Tess. Arizona’s starting to grow on me,” she said.

The boys ran up to them, out of breath and laughing.

“Ready to go, sis?” Jared asked, smiling. Annie nodded and said goodbye to everyone before getting into their car. She felt a twinge of sadness as she watched Jared and Tessa share a kiss and smile. She missed the feeling of being so in love. Though looking back, she realized she was never in love with her last boyfriend. She could never love a monster, not one who’d left so many marks on her, physically and mentally.

***

Later that night, around one in the morning, Annie was in the living room, curled up on the couch watching The Breakfast Club and eating a bowl of popcorn. She was still having trouble sleeping.

Bender was tearing apart library books on the screen when she heard footsteps and a door being pushed open. She turned and saw John, wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt, walking towards her.

He flopped down on the armchair to her right, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “Good morning, blondie.”

“Shhhh,” she whispered. “This is my favorite. Don’t talk.”

He bit back a smile and settled into the chair. He watched the entire movie with her in silence, wondering who the hell Annie Monaco really was.