Good Love

“Goddamn it, Annie! What’s taking you so long?! I swear, if you make us late-” Tim shouted, his anger getting the best of him.

They (The Maine, Tim, Annie, and a few other crew members) were to leave on the tour bus in less than two hours, and she still wasn’t ready.

“You’ll make me regret being born. I know. You’ve said it five thousand times already. I get it. I’m packing as fast as I can, okay?” she snapped, interrupting him mid-sentence. She didn’t take his yelling personal, considering how stressed he must have been, but it was definitely pissing her off. “Besides, Tim, I wasn’t the one who wanted to come on this little tour. I’m basically being forced into it. So cut me some slack.”

He let out a long sigh, probably trying to defuse his anger. He nodded. “Please, just try to hurry, and only pack the bare essentials. If you forget something, we can always run to Walmart on our free time, alright?”

Annie nodded, shoving more clothes into her already-stuffed duffel bag. She wasn’t keeping track of how many outfits she’d packed, and she didn’t really care. Annie had already decided that she was not wearing shirts for a week at a time, like the boys did. She wanted to be fucking clean. She’d pack what she wanted to, and Tim and all the other guys could suck it.

At the last minute, she remembered the dress Tessa had gotten her for Christmas this year -it was already January- and tucked it into her suitcase. It had been the first Christmas that she’d celebrated since she moved away, and surprisingly it was a great day for her. Jared and her had gone to their parents in the morning, where their mother had cooked home-made bacon and eggs. Then their friends, the large group of boys plus Tessa, had come over and had their own party. Mainly consisting of spiked eggnog.

Annie knew Tessa had specifically picked the dress out for her, considering the long sleeves, to hide her arms. It was even black, like she loved, and velvet. She didn’t know when she’d wear it, but packed it anyways.

Twenty minutes later, to Tim’s satisfaction, her two duffel bags were loaded onto the bus as Annie sat on her bed, lacing up her black combat boots. She grabbed her pillow off of her bed, thinking she’d probably need it, and ran out the door with her camera slung over her shoulder and her backpack around her arms. It was packed full of snacks and painkillers; her headaches had been awful lately. To her satisfaction, there was also a few rolls of film that Jared had gotten her for Christmas. She had already decided that she’d probably need the comfort of her camera’s dials and buttons to keep her sanity, and vowed to take as many pictures as she could during the trip.

She couldn’t decide if this little adventure was going to be fun or not. Sure, she genuinely enjoyed The Maine’s music and concerts, and loved traveling, but being in a small, confined space with more than five boys for long intervals of time didn’t sound too appealing. It made socializing unavoidable, which was something Annie hated. Plus, she was afraid of her claustrophobia getting to her. It had gotten worse since the incident in Chicago.

What if her anxiety got the best of her? What if she started having panic attacks like she did when she first got to Arizona?

Jared had finally rushed her to a doctor when one of her attacks was so awful that she couldn’t breathe or even get out of bed. The sadness and anger in her chest had slowly become physical, constricting her in its grip.

She tried her best to calm down and not worry. That was what her doctor had told her; don’t over-think things. Don’t think about the what if’s. They’ll eat your brain. Luckily, she had enough medication stuffed into her bags to get by. Thanks to the medicine the doctor gave her, she was starting to feel a lot better, actually. She knew it was just her nerves getting the best of her today.

So instead of worrying, she skipped down the old, wrought-iron stairs of their apartment complex that lead to the parking lot, where everyone was gathering. When she reached the lot, she saw all of the people she had come to love, and took her first picture of the trip: her brother and Tessa with their arms round each other, probably saying their temporary goodbyes and Garrett, Pat, and Kennedy wrestling around with each other with Halvo, who came to see them off. She had to admit, she’d miss the kid, even if they’d only be gone a month.

Next to them was Tim, who was talking to John, who was smoking a cigarette. Then there was Austin Gibbs, shoving suitcases into the cargo space underneath the bus. Annie was glad he was coming with them; he was The Maine’s opening act.

Annie snuck up behind him, and when Austin wasn’t looking, she took her pillow and whacked him in the side.

He jumped in surprise, dropping the 24-pack of water in his hands and cursing. He spun around to see Annie, clutching the pillow against her chest and laughing.

“Gotcha, Gibbs,” she said, smiling. Two weeks ago, when Annie had first met Austin, he hadn’t exactly given her the best first impression. But after hanging out with each other more, she changed her mind. He came into the pub Annie worked at a lot.

He shook his head and laughed, his mustache exposing white teeth. “God damn you, Annie.”

She laughed again and helped him with the water bottles he’d dropped. Some of them had rolled across the parking lot, almost tripping Kennedy and Garrett who were still messing around and not paying attention.

***

After everything was packed and loaded, they were finally ready to leave.

“Hey, hey Monaco, get over here!” Halvo yelled at Annie. The brown haired boy tackled her in a big hug, ruffling her hair. “Don’t get into too much trouble,” he said, winking at her. She rolled her eyes, knowing that he was referencing the night he first met her when she was drunk out of her mind.

“And make sure to call me with updates,” he added quickly, almost making Annie’s eyes prick with tears. She barely knew the kid, but they were already as close as if they’d known each other for years. She’d definitely miss him.

“I will. See ya, Halvo,” she replied, moving over to Tessa before she started crying. She hated how emotional she was being lately.

“I wish I could come with you guys,” Tessa said, giving Annie a hug. She leaned in and whispered, “Call me if you need anything. But god knows you’ll be able to keep those boys in line.”

Annie gave her a smile. “Thanks Tess. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

They all said their goodbyes, waved, loaded onto the bus, and left the parking lot. Tim and the other crew members were driving in a separate car following them, due to lack of sleeping arrangements in the bus.

The last thing Annie saw as they pulled away was Eric with his arm around Tessa’s shoulders. She couldn’t help but smile; her new friends were such great people. Back in Chicago, she’d had lots of friends from her sorority, but that’s all they were. Sorority sisters. Nothing real. Nothing with substance, except for Macy, who she’d known for years by the time college came around. The rest of them just wanted a good time, and didn’t care about anything else. Annie realized that maybe that was why she’d gotten into the wrong crowd of people. The sororities and fraternities didn’t care about anyone else; the other city kids, the ones doing nothing with their lives, did, and adopted her into their group quickly.

“Hey, sis, you alright?” Garrett asked, still using his nickname for her. She realized she’d been staring out the window for quite a while now, considering they were far out of city limits.

Garrett had a concerned look on his face. She hadn’t told him about the incident in Chicago, but he was intuitive enough to realize that something wasn’t quite right. Instead of questioning her, though, he’d simply check in on her, and Annie loved him for that.

“I’m fine, Gare. Thanks. So where are we heading first?”

“Vegas, baby!” he yelled, wiggling his eyebrows at her and jumping up, standing on the couch and flailing his arms.

“We’re gonna get so fucked up, man!” Austin yelled, a beer already in his hands. That boy could outdrink anyone Annie had ever met. Even herself.

Annie rolled her eyes, knowing that there was no way in hell Tim would let the boys waste time drinking when they were on such a tight schedule.

“Good luck with that one, boys,” she said dryly, deciding to get up and explore her new temporary living space.

She left Garrett and Austin in the front little “living room” and walked through a tiny hall, which was where all the bunks were, stacked on top of each other. She’d chosen a bunk at waist level, easy enough to get in and out of. She was just hoping she wouldn’t get too claustrophobic in the tiny alcove.

She kept walking and found the rest of the boys in the back lounge, playing video games and drinking beer.

“Annie! I’m so glad you’re here. I saved you a seat next to me!” Pat said, his words rushing out all at once like they always did. “They’re being so mean to me!”

She laughed and sat down next to him. “What’d they do to you, Patty?”

“They won’t let me play Mario Kart anymore!”

“That’s because you’ve already broken a controller, Pat!” Kennedy yelled, making the other boys laugh.

Annie rolled her eyes and smiled, looking around the lounge. Jared and John were currently in an intense race of Mario Kart; Jared’s forehead was wrinkled with concentration and John’s tongue was hanging out of his mouth.

On the circular couch, Kennedy was sitting across from her and Pat, typing on his computer. Probably answering fan mail like the sweet guy he was.

“I’ll play with you, Patty,” Annie said, playfully rolling her eyes. Pat was so childish sometimes.

“If John and Jared ever decide to share the fuckin’ game,” Pat muttered under his breath.

“Oh, go cry to your mommy, Patrick,” John said without looking at them. His eyes were glued to the tv screen.

Annie looked at Pat for a reaction, but he just silently stared at John, not even blinking. His expression made her a bit worried.

And for good reason, because suddenly Pat jumped off the couch, landing in front of the tv and blocking it.

“Micheal wants fairness!” Pat screeched, jumping on top of the boys and stealing their game controllers. Annie couldn’t help but laugh as Pat pulled the cords out of the game system and took off running with their controllers.

“Dammit, Pat! You made me lose the race! I was fucking winning!” Jared yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

They could all hear Pat’s maniacal laugh as he ran to the front of the bus.

***

The bus was almost to Vegas, but it was approaching one in the morning, and Annie was dead tired. She was so frustrated that she wanted to cry; she couldn’t fall asleep, no matter what she did. She was either too hot or too cold or felt itchy because of the blankets or just couldn’t breathe.

Feeling a panic attack coming on, Annie reluctantly slid out of her bunk, pulling the blanket out with her, and tiptoed towards the couches at the front of the bus. She figured that she would sleep better if there weren’t walls enclosing her four inches away from her face.

When she reached the end of the hall of bunks, she could hear voices from the front living room. Annie froze, recognizing her brother’s voice, speaking harshly to someone else, though she couldn’t tell who.

“Jared, I just don’t get it. Why is she coming with us, again? What happened to our ‘no girls on tour’ rule? She’s just one more person for us to take care of,” the voice snapped.

“Yes, she is one more person to take care of. Not for you to take care of, John, just me. She’s my baby fucking sister. She acts like she doesn’t care about a single thing in the world, but do you know how good of an actress she is?” Jared snarled. “Do you remember the bruises that covered her arms when she first got here? Do you remember the morning you woke up, and no one was home? Do you know where we were, John, and why? Because we were in the fucking Emergency Room that morning. My sister needs me right now, and you’re just going to have to suck it up.”

Annie felt her stomach drop when she realized the other person was John, and that they were talking about her, and rushed back the direction she came. She reached the door to the lounge, flung it open, and shut it behind her before she heard any more of their conversation.

She lay down on the couch, curling her blanket around her and covering her face. This was going to be one lovely little vacation.