We're Stuck Halfway

“Wow,” was all Selina said, after minutes and minutes of peering at the laptop screen before her.

Garrett stopped himself from biting his thumbnail. He’d been expecting a more fathomable reaction from her, not just an ‘oh’ and a ‘wow.’ It made him uncertain of his new do and his clean-shaved face. Two words and one surprised expression didn’t say much.

She leaned back against the headboard of her bed, taking a deep breath. “You look different, that’s for sure.” She shook her head, the hazy expression still on her face. “When you said ‘surprise,’ I did not expect this.”

“Isn’t that why I called it a surprise, so you’d be surprised?” He finally grinned, causing her to exclaim. He jumped up in response, startled. First, Mrs. Fitzpatrick flipped out at him, next, Selina shouted at him. What was next, his brother breaking into his room to scream at him for no reason?

Selina giggled, covering her mouth with a palm. She was miles away, but she felt so near to him. He was warm all over. “You look absolutely handsome whenever you smile without a beard. God, why didn’t you shave it off ages ago? I barely recognize you now.”

He rolled his eyes, keeping his grin on. It didn’t come to him that she would barely recognize him, as well, him when he met her. She did meet him without a beard, but that was ages ago, too. He realized that most of her memories with him were with a beard on.

He pretended to scrunch up his eyebrows. “I was actually afraid that you’d think I looked sexier with a beard on.”

“Of course you do!” she said. Garrett was horrified, but she reassured him that she would love him even if he were bald. “I love you, in each and every single little teensy tiny miniature way, Gare.”

The L-word was a bomb that Garrett dropped three months before, on the date he finally asked her to be his girlfriend. It was big, a word he and Holly personally shared and meant only when they turned sixteen, on their third year of dating. It was silly how long they had waited to express it to each other, but they were kids; they possessed the worst combination of traits ever: naïvety and stubbornness.

By the end of the video chat, Garrett felt peace within himself for the first time ever since the previous night. Selina simply had the ability to take his mind off everything. That included how much he had wanted to tell her all about Holly and the notebook.

“Fuck,” he groaned, setting the lid of his laptop down. The tranquility he felt vanished in an instant, an anxiety threatening to swallow him whole taking over. He glanced at the carton box set next to his TV, the Moleskine perched on it.

On the drive back to his house, he decided that he had to go against his instinct to keep anything about Holly from Selina. He wanted to tell her everything, well – not everything, exactly, but close to it. He wanted to tell her about what he and Holly had done in the past, how they could do it all over again in a much better way. He wanted to rant and talk about how broken he was, how she was slowly patching and fixing him up. But he wouldn’t be able to utter to her how his seams were starting to fall apart.

He really desired to tell her, but he failed since he completely forgot about Holly, about his worries the moment he saw her glowing face on his laptop screen.

Thinking about it then, he wondered if it was worth it, going through all the trouble of explaining to her everything. The Skype call was a perfect example of how she could be his getaway from the reality he suffered from. Did he really want to change that?

He shook his head as he stood up to walk over to the memory box, kneeling before it. It wasn’t worth it. He didn’t need to know of Selina’s opinion on his difficulty at forgetting his past, much less need her to worry over Holly waltzing back into his life like that.

Two years of ignoring each other had passed, so how come he couldn’t forget her? Didn’t want to forget her, even?

Why was he so frustrating?

Garrett fell on his carpeted floor, his back to the ground. Still, little to nothing made sense to him. The irony of it all in his point of view was off-putting. Holly, who had been with him for seven – seven! – years was unfaithful to him while he was gone for only a couple of weeks. Selina, who knew him for less than two years, stayed devoted to their relationship even if he was gone most of the time.

He stayed like that for minutes, really thinking about his seven years with Holly. Sure, they were young, but she was especially smart, so why was she so reckless? He huffed, declaring that college did have the ability to turn people into monsters.

He was sure that Holly cheated on him, so maybe she was heartbroken because she didn’t want what had been going on for seven too long years to end. She could have missed him as much as he missed her, but the problem was: she was possibly over him.

Looking at the box, he wondered what she felt at the time she was clearing her head – her room of him. What was she thinking as she stared at the polaroid of their first kiss, as she read the crappy poem he wrote for her when they were fourteen and being emo seemed cool enough? Did she grimace or did her heart melt? Did she even want him anymore by that time?

Honestly, if he were in her position, if he had that much memories of their relationship in his hands, he wouldn’t have been able to stash them all away in some box for someone else to throw out of their house.

Garrett closed his eyes, finally giving up on thinking too much about her. It was unhealthy not only for his emotional stability, but for his happy relationship with Selina. He didn’t want that.

He was already about to drift off when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Matty Philips
only got your call for help now nicko. break starts in ten minutes. be @kelso's bar.



“I’m so close to giving up,” Charlie murmured. She stood at the foot of her bed, drenching in her lucky Arizona romper. She won a couple hundred bucks at a carnival while wearing it, and she’d been considering it lucky ever since then. It wasn’t working its magic that day, sadly.

She sat down as she pulled her dark red hair into a messy bun, grossing herself out with how sticky it felt. She was sweaty, sticky, sleepy and stinky. She was the dreaded four S’s.

She flipped over, telling herself that she deserved at least five minutes of rest. She hadn’t slept at all day, too busy worrying over that damn Moleskine notebook Holly owned. She knew it was a gift from him, and she wanted to pry very badly, but she swore not to since it was the least she could do for putting them both into that mess.

After a few minutes of futile attempts at sleeping, she groaned and pulled her phone out of her pocket, opening up the application where she kept her checklist. She couldn’t stand resting due to the circumstances. She did a once over of her list, making sure she actually did each and every single one of the tasks crossed out.

Mission Get Holly’s Moleskine Back:
1. Fume at Jerry for letting The Maine into his house (never mind that he tried warning you beforehand)
2. Ask him about seeing the Moleskine
3. Explain the situation to him vaguely
4. Retrace Holly’s steps
5. Check the trash
6. Check the closets
7. Check everything in Jerry’s house
8. Search all of Holly’s room
9. Search your room
10. Search your car
11. Search Holly’s car
12. Contact attendees of the party (yes, even them)
13. Give up

She wasn’t kidding when she told herself that she was so close to giving up. Her next task was the one she dreaded the most, and she was too tired and sore to actually start on it. Holly wasn’t even doing anything about the cause anymore, asking Charlie to just give it up and stop trying. It was lost forever in her opinion.

Charlie, on the other hand, wanted to prove her wrong, feeling like it was another thing she owed to Holly. She didn’t like how pessimistic Holly was being, and she disliked even more how guilty she felt for contributing to the loss of one of Holly’s most prized possessions.

She had her own prized notebook as well. While Holly loved to write poems with hidden meanings, she loved to sketch and paint things she wouldn’t realize symbolized something until she was finished with the last stroke. If the roles were reversed, Holly would’ve done the same for her, she knew.

She took a deep breath, letting her mind drift off to the giddy state she was in hours ago. Thinking about Alex lightened up her mood significantly. She thought about his voice, his laugh, his warm breath on her chilly lips in the garage. She wondered what would have happened if The Maine had never arrived and ruined her night, if she spent more time with Alex. She never even finished explaining haboobs to him.

Her eyes flew open at the sound of her ringtone, the bells chiming impatiently. Her heart hammered as she glanced at the caller ID, hoping that it was Jerry calling to tell her that someone told him that they accidentally brought home a tiny notebook.

It wasn’t.

She sighed as she greeted an icy hello to the unknown caller.

“Charlotte? Is this Charlotte?” the voice asked, a thick accent dripping from their words.

Charlie was about to deny it when she realized that she allowed only one other person to call her by that name. Her heart almost shot out of her chest. “Hey, cowboy,” she breathed. “Your accent has significantly improved the past few hours.”

Alex laughed, the glorious sound making the pitter-patter of Charlie’s heart beat unevenly. “You like it? I’m practicing for you.” She didn’t know what to reply to that, and she stayed shock-still until he spoke again, “Anyway, I called to check up on you. You didn’t seem okay last time we talked.”

Charlie bit her lip, pulling her sandals off to lie on the bed fully. He had the ability to make her so calm… yet not – if that even made any sense. “I’m okay,” she replied. “But I need to call about a hundred people in a while to ask about the notebook.” A sigh escaped from her lips. “It’s Holly’s favorite thing on earth.”

There was a silence on the other end of the line, and if Alex weren’t breathing so loudly, Charlie would’ve ended the call by then. “You know, I’m touring with half of the people who were at that party,” he stated.

Knowing where the conversation was headed, Charlie talked over him. “You don’t need to, I swear. And if you dare say that you want to, I sure as hell won’t believe you.” She wanted to show him that she wasn’t a needy woman. She was independent and she knew how to do things herself.

Alex was silent again, and Charlie was scared that she had scared him off. She knew from experience that she had the ability to do so. “I’m doing it, anyway.”

With a grunt, she told him to piss off, and just as she was about to press on the end call button, Alex called for her. “Rest,” he said. “And, uh… I like you, you know?”

Charlie held her breath.

He laughed unbelievingly on the other line. “Oh God, that was too soon wasn’t it?” He sucked in a breath. “Look, you’re a great person. I don’t…” Charlie still wasn’t breathing as he struggled to say something. “You’re gonna rest, and I’m going to ask around about the notebook. Okay?”

Still not breathing. “I-”

Alex stopped her. “Do you promise?” Struggling to breathe.

“But you don’t even-” Ragged breaths.

“I was stupid yesterday,” he stated. “I kissed you without asking for your name, I let you leave the fucking party without asking for your number.”

And that was something that literally hadn’t crossed Charlie’s mind until then. He never asked for her number. He never gave her his. She never did as well.

So why on earth did Alex Gaskarth have her-

“And I frantically called Jerry if he knew you and he told me that of course he did, you’ve been bugging him shitless all week and I know how you haven’t slept, Charlie, and I’m not the type of guy to just let a girl do such a thing.”

Still not breathing. What was breathing when Charlie’s heart was about to explode because this guy, this guy was so unpredictably sweet it actually pained her?

“So please,” Alex continued. “Rest. Don’t call anyone anymore. I’ll take care of that for you.”

Charlie swallowed. “Thank you,” she managed. It felt wrong, seemed so weird and wrong. This kind of thing didn’t happen in real life. Surely, it didn’t. A guy who she’d been crushing on didn’t just simply click with her and find her as attractive so suddenly. Something was wrong. But it felt right.

So wrong that’s it’s so right.

Charlie didn’t even realize she thought that out loud until Alex laughed again. “So you’re trying to pun my band now? I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye,” she squeaked. She didn’t realize she was shaking until she ended the call. Her heart was pounding so loudly that Alex could’ve heard it over the phone.

Nothing made sense, but it didn’t matter to her as she curled up onto her side, a smile plastered on her face. It no longer mattered to her whether she stunk or not because she was pretty sure she was on her way to knowing Alex Gaskarth in ways she never could’ve imagined.



Kelso’s Bar wasn’t exactly a bar. It was leaning more towards bistro + bar stand with its multiple tables and chairs. The place was big enough to host a reunion party.

The place was half-filled, too, and the pointless chitchat Garrett heard from multiple tables made him restless. So instead of listening in on conversations, he took to drumming songs using the utensils on his napkin for entertainment. He was drumming the bridge of Futures by Jimmy Eat World by the time Matty finally arrived.

“Enjoying yourself?” someone had asked from above him.

Garrett tried not to glare at Matty for being fifteen minutes late, sending him only a mere nod as he sat down across him. “It was a great source of entertainment.”

Matty smoothed back his hair, pulling it into a ponytail. Unlike Pat’s, Matty’s long hair was greasy, the type that was given no washing for months on end. It was similar to how Garrett’s hair used to be, actually. Then, as if only noticing then, he finally commented on Garrett’s hair, saying he felt like he traveled a year into the past.

Garrett set down the fork and the knife, scowling. “I didn't ask for you to go meet me here so that I could have an honest opinion on my haircut.”

“If not, what dirty work do you want me to do this time?” Matty asked him. The ‘this time’ he added to his question almost made Garrett flinch. He never personally asked a favor from Matty, but his band had, and that was only once. They needed someone to get back at the band who had given their tour van four flat tires back in 2008.

He watched in the sidelines as John and Tim conversed with him, and he remembered how straight-to-the-point they were, so Garrett followed in their example. “It's about Holly Price,” he replied gravely. He knew that matters would get serious after he mentioned Holly's name. Matty practically owed his life to the Prices.

Matty straightened in his seat, eyeing him skeptically. “What about her?” His voice sounded almost tense; Garrett figured that Matty wanted to remind him that his relationship with her had been over since 2009.

‘I know because I was the one who broke it off with her,’ he had wanted to reply, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “I need her address. I visited her old place a while ago, and I was told that she moved in with Charlie. I don’t know where, though.” He didn't answer Matty's question, but Matty wasn’t a prier. It was part of his job. “I'll pay you,” Garrett said then.

Matty shook his head incredulously. “I don't even know where she lives?” He sighed. “C'mon, Nicko, you’ve seen me talk with other clients. You know that I don't plan the dirty, I do the work.”

It was Garrett’s turn to sigh. Matty also wasn’t exactly the smartest person on the earth. “What I meant was: I'll pay you twenty if you do the work.”

Matty shook his head again. “Are you kidding me? Forty. I’d usually charge fifty for that, but since I know you’re a good guy, I’m giving you a discount.”

‘Gee, thanks!’ was what Garrett almost replied. A sensible part of himself stopped him, though, knowing that Matty had the ability to raise the bar even higher if he actually noticed the sarcasm in Garrett’s voice.

He pulled out his wallet, thanking the Lord that he had two ten-dollar bills and a twenty-dollar bill tucked inside. He took the three bills into his hand, showing them to Matty.

It was evident that he had gotten desperate enough to seek help from someone like Matty. Holly just wasn’t the type to keep up to date with Facebook or Twitter or that kind of stuff. She had only a MySpace account, and that was obviously dead by then. Her old phone and even Charlie’s were both disconnected and it wasn’t like he could call up Price Enterprises and ask for their boss’ daughter’s address. He couldn’t, but maybe Matty could.

“So, the thing is, the house was sold to Mrs. Fitzpatrick – the woman now living in Holly’s old place – by Mrs. Price’s secretary, Kelly.”

Matty brightened up. “Yeah, I know Kelly. I go there every weekend to pay debts, remember?”

Garrett sensed good news coming, smiling while saying, “Oh yeah. Well, I need you to pry out Holly’s new address from her. Can you do that?”

“No shit, I can’t.” Matty rolled his eyes irritably. Garrett almost punched himself; he didn’t mean to sound sarcastic. “So, that’s it?”

Garrett took a sip of the water next to his plate, handing Matty a ten-dollar bill. “That’s it.”

“I’ll have it before the end week ends.”