Chocolate Eyes

It was James and Holly Kent that pulled Brian away from his kitchen table while he ate lunch with his son about a week after the funeral. Nerves immediately seized him as he realized it could be a social-worker coming to assess his home, but as he moved towards the door and took in the shape of his son's grandparents through the frosted glass, anxiousness was replaced with anger and distain.

"Can I help you?" Brian questioned bluntly as he pulled open the door and stood in the way, blocking the couple from seeing into his home.

Holly Kent frowned softly. "Please, Brian, we just want to see our grandson," she explained, gripping her husband's hand tightly. "We got your address from Ms. Rochotte."

Brian stared at the two of them. Dressed up, like always, they stood on the porch with two completely different auras. Holly Kent looked almost defeated, helpless now that someone else was in charge of her daughter's son. Completely opposite, James Kent stood with his shoulders back, his tie perfectly in place, and a look of rugged defiance on his face as he eyed Brian. "Are you going to let us in?" he questioned, looking over Brian's shoulder as a little boy, clad in wrinkled pajamas stepped into his line of sight.

Brian followed his gaze, putting on a brave face when he saw EJ on the edge of the room, peering at the adults from behind the corner of the wall. "Do you want to spend some time with them?" Bri asked, leaving it completely up to his son. "You don't have to."

The little boy lifted and then dropped his shoulders, looking between his dad and grandparents, trying to figure out what the correct answer was. After a few silent seconds and mixed signals from the three of them, he asked shyly, "Are you going to be with me?"

"Evander, you don't need-"

Brian lifted a hand to silence Mr. Kent. "Yeah, I'll be right by your side, buddy," he told EJ, stepping back and pushing the door open wider so they could walk in. "I won't leave."

Evander raced forward and jumped into his dad's arms as his grandparents closed the door behind them.

Holly looked around the large living room, taken aback by the glass wall just like EJ had been his first day here. She looked back to Brian and smiled politely. "Your home is breathtaking."

"Thanks," Brian replied, holding his son in his arms, "You can sit down if you want. We're going to get dressed and we'll be right back."

Holly nodded and continued to look around the room, catching James' eye as they took in their surroundings. They didn't know what to expect when Victoria Rochotte gave them an address in Huntington Beach, California. It was known for its laid back people, giant peer, and surfing. When they found the house, they were surprised by the elegant luxury of the cul-de-sac driveway and the shoreline just beyond the house.

They'd never known a musician before, but they certainly never imagined Brian's life to be like this. Holly realized, with a start, that Brian had all the money he'd ever need in life. That her daughter's son would too, if Brian managed to keep him. With all that money, Holly feared what James had already known; that it wouldn't be hard to keep Evander there. Her thoughts caught up to her husband's and she silently begged for some instability behind the perfect white walls of Brian's home.

Inside, Brian climbed the stairs with EJ and moved into the little boy's room. He dropped his son on his messy bed and started pulling clothes out of the closet. "What do you want to wear, Ev?" he asked, grabbing a long sleeve shirt and a pair of blue jeans. "Does this work?"

Evander nodded and reached for the clothing. Brian knew that he could dress himself, so he left the room and padded down the hall to his own to change out of his sweatpants and hole-riddeled t-shirt.

When he stepped out of his room a few minutes later, Evander was standing in the middle of the hall, waiting for him. EJ clasped his little hands together and looked up into his dad's identical eyes. "I didn't want to go alone," he whispered, his eyes wide.

Brian held back his slight reaction and held his hand out to Evander. "That sounds reasonable," he qualified, "What do you say we go down now, though?"

EJ's chest expanded and contracted as he took one long, deep breath. "Okay," he said bravely, gazing up at Brian.

They headed down the stairs together carefully, each wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and black socks. Holly stood at the bottom, peering into the oversized fish tank that was pushed against the wall. James stood just a few feet away, his eyes trained on Brian and his grandson.

"Those are EJ's," Brian said to Holly as they came down the stairs, "He loves them more than I do, anyways."

Evander stood by his grandma's side, looking into the tank. "AJ," he told her, pointing at the large blue one. "I got to name him."

Holly regarded her grandson carefully. "You did?" she asked softly, trying not to scare him off. "What does the "A" stand for?"

Evander frowned, tipping his head to the side as he thought about an answer to that question. "What sounds like my name?" he replied, looking at his grandma.

Holly smiled and crouched down, her hand on the small of EJ's back as they both looked at the fish. "What about Alexander?" she suggested, waiting for EJ's reaction.

His frown deepened as he turned to face her directly. "Why?" he catechized.

"It's what we wanted your mother to name you," James spoke up, moving closer to his inquisitive grandchild, "A long, long time ago there was a man called Alexander the Great. He was king who took what his father gave him and made it even better."

EJ slid away from Holly's touch and walked over to the couch where Brian was sitting. He climbed into it and leaned against his dad's side. "What does my name mean?" he asked Holly and James, "Why did mommy pick my name?"

James and Holly sat down on the edge of the couch, perching on the edge like they couldn't bare to sit back any farther against the white cushions. Holly shook her head as she spoke, becoming a little upset over the topic of her daughter. "We don't know," she murmured, covering her mouth with her hand, "We never asked and she never told us."

Evander watched as his grandpa wrapped his arm around his grandma and held her close to him like Jake used to do with his mom. Softly and shyly, he asked, "What does it mean?"

Brian spoke up without having to think about the words he was going to say. "In Roman Mythology there was a hero from Greece named Evander. He was characterized as being brave, strong, smart, and good to all people. He created the alphabet and laws in Italy. He created a huge city where Rome is now."

Evander looked at his dad with raised eyebrows. "Really?"

Brian nodded. "People also said that he was a hero and the son of Hermes, who's the son of Zeus, the strongest God. Everyone loved Evander because he was so kind to everyone. He protected them and taught them things, despite being a war hardened warrior."

"How do you know?" EJ inquired, grabbing onto the sleeve of his dad's hoodie. "Is that why mommy picked it?"

Brian nodded slowly, watching his son's eyes light up. Brian had never remembered Claudia Kent before she showed up at his house, but somewhere, from the depths of his mind, he remembered the name and the story as it spilled out of a woman's lips.

The memory was faint, if you could even call it a memory. More like a recognition of something on the tip of his tongue. It was like the flickering light of a candle off in the distance. You wouldn't be able to know that it was a candle or how far away it was, but you knew it was there somewhere.

For a moment, it felt like grief had settled in Brian's bones. Not grief for the dead, but grief for what he could not remember of his past. He held his son by his side, but had no recollection of ever creating such a gifted boy. Remembering where his name came from made him more sorrowful than he felt when he couldn't remember at all. Now he knew there was some knowledge locked up somewhere in his mind, but he had no way of getting to it.

Brian left EJ on the couch alone as he went into the kitchen to get them all something to drink. On the way out he grabbed his child's full plate and brought it back with him.

He handed out glasses of juice and set EJ's plate on his lap, giving the child a look that dared him not to eat. Evander ate slowly, listening to his grandparents talk about their home in Oklahoma. They were careful not to upset him this time, taking hints from Brian's posture and appearance when they started straying away from "safe" topics to talk about.

They told their grandson about their town and how the little family shops sold everything they could ever need. They told him about the swing set that was a sole surviver from his mother's childhood. Lastly they told of the group of five kids who lived down the road from them with their parents.

Brian knew that they were trying to making Oklahoma seem like heaven. He knew that they would try to take EJ from him, but he stayed calm and let his son talk to them, knowing full well that he wouldn't dare lose the boy, not after it'd taken so long for him to get him.

They had been there for over an hour when Brian decided that EJ had enough for the day. The little boy was growing wary of all the words being said his way and he shifted on the couch so continuously that Brian had moved him from his left to his right side and back at least three times.

Holly covered her mouth as her silent husband led her to the front door. She asked Brian if she could come back again and maybe see the house, Evander's room her number one concern.

EJ rested his head on his dad's shoulder as his grandparents stood in the doorway. Brian shrugged, and EJ lifted his head to look at them. "Yeah, we will get ahold of you when EJ's feeling up to it again," Bri replied, shifting the boy in his arms.

"When do you think that will be?" Holly questioned, standing just inside the door.

"I don't know," Brian stated, "I think we should wait a few days. I'll ask EJ sometime next week and see what he feels like doing."

James Kent pursed his lips, wanting nothing more than to remind the tattooed man that he was the adult and the EJ was merely a child, incapable of making good decisions for himself. Instead he grabbed his wife's wrist and pulled her out of the door.

"Goodbye, Evander," Holly whispered as James tugged her away, "We'll see you soon, Sweetheart."

EJ didn't reply. He merely watched until they were walking down the large driveway and Brian had shut the door, successfully separating EJ and him from them.

"Are they really my grandma and grandpa?" EJ questioned as Brian walked over near the couch and picked the plate up from the floor.

"Yes," Bri stated, "They're your mom's parents."

"How come I never met them before Mommy died?" he asked.

Brian shrugged. "I don't know."

EJ frowned but dropped the subject despite all the questions running through his head. Neither he nor Brian understood anything about the life that he and his mom had been living. Of course, it hadn't always been like that, before she died EJ never questioned anything but now, starting over, he just wanted answers.

"Do Grandpa James and Grandma Holly want me to live with them?" he asked, standing in the living room as Brian collected the cups from the table. "Jake said they did before the family people found you." He followed his dad into the kitchen, not giving up until he got an answer.

Brian set the cups in the sink. "Yeah," he said honestly, "They miss your mom and would like to have you with them now."

"Am I going to have to leave?"

"No way," Brian stated, leaning his hands on the counter as he looked at his son. "You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to. I want you here, so you're staying here."

"What about if I want to go with them?"

Brian held still for a moment and then he asked, "Do you want to?"

Evander lifted his hand to his chin like a miniature Thinker frozen there in the kitchen. "No," he said after a few seconds, "I was just wondering."

Brian sighed in relief and walked around to the other side of the counter. He lifted EJ up and sat him on it. "You're going to stay with me until you're big enough to be by yourself. No matter what happens, you'll always be with me, EJ."

The young boy squinted slightly as he stared at his dad. "Do you promise?" he replied seriously.

Brian pulled EJ into his arms and held onto the bright child tightly. "Of course, I promise," he whispered, holding his son against him, "I'm not going to let anything happen to either one of us. We're both going to stay together."

"I have a question," EJ told his dad as he sat back down on the counter.

Brian playfully rolled his eyes. "When don't you?"

EJ disregarded what his dad said and asked anyways. "When are you going to tell me why I have to wear a hat all the time?"

After the serious questions, Brian couldn't help but laugh at this one. It was so simple and easy compared to the others. Sometimes Brian wished that EJ wasn't as smart as he was, because it was hard to answer a lot of the things he wanted to know.

Brian hopped up onto the counter next to EJ and turned to face the little boy, deciding that now was a good enough time to tell him about what he did.

"Remember when we went to the mall and those girls were taking pictures of us?" Brian questioned, knowing that the child did remember. "Well, they were taking pictures of me."

"Why?" EJ questioned, raising his eyebrows.

Brian licked his lips. "Well, I'm in a band and people really like my band, so they take pictures of us when we go out in public."

"You're in a band?" EJ repeated, causing Brian to chuckle.

"Yeah, with all my friends. Matt sings, Johnny plays bass, and Zacky and I play guitar," he explained, stopping when EJ opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish. "What's your question?"

EJ wrinkled his nose as he thought really hard about something. Finally, he asked, "Does anyone play drums? You forgot them."

"Arin does," Brian said softly, "But he hasn't always."

"What'd he play before?"

"No, no," Brian corrected, smiling slightly, "We used to have a different drummer. His name was Jimmy. He was my best friend since I was just a little bit older than you."

EJ scooted farther back onto the counter and looked at his dad. "Where's your best friend now?" he asked softly, frowning when Brian wouldn't meet his eyes.

"He's gone," Brian stated, looking at the tiled floor, "He's in the same place as your mom. He's just been there longer."

"He died too?"

Brian nodded slowly.

Evander got to his knees and wrapped his arms around his dad's neck. He didn't know that his dad had even had someone die too and he wanted to comfort the man, making him feel better without words just like his dad had done for him.

Brian was almost stunned by EJ's gesture. He wrapped his arms around EJ, gingerly at first and then tighter as he thought about Jimmy's death. "He would've loved you, EJ," Brian whispered, "You would've been his favorite person in the whole world. I'm so sorry he didn't get to meet you."

EJ pulled back and sat on his knees. "Show me a picture," he directed, "I want to see what your best friend looks like."

Without words Brian slid off the counter and lifted EJ off too. He carried his son down to the basement and made his way into the music room. EJ had yet to be in here, except maybe the first day when he roamed by himself, but since then Brian kept it latched shut, higher than EJ could reach.

They walked in together and EJ stared at the walls. They were covered in huge canvas shots of his dad and all his friends. On the left was a wall full of posters of a man that EJ had never seen before.

He was tall, lanky, and unruly with hair that poked out in every direction. In the middle was one huge picture of a man's bare back as he hugged two other men, one with hair held down by a faded white and black bandana and the other's Angels hat just barely visible over the backwards' man's tattooed shoulder.

The three men in the picture were covered in tattoos and on the first man's back were the letters "S-U-L" and "A-N", the middle of the word being shielded by the short man's arm. Just under that was a giant "0", as if there was a jersey perpetually inked into his skin.

Surrounding that giant photo like a frame, were ten smaller pictures of the same man with various other people that EJ had seen since coming to be with his dad.

"That's Jimmy," Brian told his son, motioning to the wall, "He's been gone for awhile now."

"I miss him," EJ said, although he'd never met Jimmy, "I don't know how, but I miss him too."

Brian took a deep breath and smiled at his son, gently ruffling the little boy's blonde hair. "He's up there somewhere," Bri said softly, "He probably freaked out when he found out I had a kid."

EJ smiled at the photographs of the uncle he'd never known. He'd wished that he could've met him but he was really little when Jimmy went, so he might not have remembered him anyways.

EJ sat down on the futon and looked back to his dad. "Tell me about him," the four year old instructed, sounding wise beyond his years, "Why was he your best friend?"

Brian sat down next to his son, facing the wall covered in Jimmy photos and told the little boy about the insanely beautiful man who'd left the earth far too early. Like always, EJ asked questions and Brian answered them, smiling as he recalled all the great times they spent together.