Chocolate Eyes

Brian ended up tagging along to EJ’s playdate. It was early in the afternoon when Holly came in to get the boy ready and he turned to his father, begging for him to come with. James and Brian had been stoic towards each other since breakfast and Bri knew that getting away from him would probably benefit both of their tempers. Holly was dismayed, but Evander was delighted.

“Grandma, can I play in the snow?” he asked, grabbing onto the woman’s arm to stop her from leaving the room, “With the little boy,” he clarified.

“I don’t know what his mom has planned for you both,” she answered congenially, “but I’ll bring your snow pants along in case.” She glanced at Brian before heading back to the living room.

“Shoes, shoes,” Brian repeated, herding the boy to his boots, “Time to go.”

EJ did as he was told and then slipped on his jacket with a little help. He grinned at his dad and slipped his iPod into the pocket of his coat as Brian pulled a hat down over his son’s head. They headed out to the Kents’ car together, leaving James sitting in the living room alone.

“How long have you lived here?” Brian asked the woman as they drove through town. There were more people out and about now that it was later, but still not many. It was practically nothing compared to the city.

“All my life,” Holly responded, “Why do you ask?”

Brian’s eye caught on a small family loading themselves into a car along the road. It was two parents and their child, and Brian wondered what EJ’s life would’ve been if the small city setting wouldn’t have kept Claudia away - if her parent’s overbearingness hadn’t forced her to run in the first place.

“Why do you think your daughter didn’t come back after college?” Brian asked, disregarding her own question, “I mean, she didn’t even ask you to fly out for Evander’s birth.”

Holly was slightly stunned by the question, but tried to compose herself quickly. “Claudia was always a very private girl,” she answered, “She met Jake and her life was everything she wanted it to be. There was no reason for her to come back.”

“But what about before that?” Brian asked, “When she found out she was going to have Evander, she never considered returning home where people could be there to support her? She stayed all alone across the country to have a child by herself?” Brian glanced back at his son, but the little boy thankfully had his earbuds in.

“Brian, you didn’t know my daughter,” Holly answered, “I don’t think it’s right for you to be speaking about her like this. The choices she made were her decision. She knew what was right for her.”

“And I know what’s right for Evander,” Brian answered, surprising the woman again, “I know that Claudia didn’t want to raise her son here. If she did, she would’ve returned when she had no one else. She wanted him to have a different life than you gave her.”

Holly’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Mr. Haner, if you’re trying to rationalize keeping our grandson from us to make yourself feel better, than I suggest you stop because it’s not going to work. Deep down you know that Evander should be with us, and I know you think it’s noble that you’re trying to make up for not being there, but that was what Claudia wanted. She wanted you as far away from him as possible.”

Brian paused, staring across the center of the car at her. He wondered how she couldn’t see it and wondered why there were so many gaps in Claudia’s story. She was so closed off and regimented. She kept Evander sheltered and didn’t have many close friends. She got her up-tightness from her parents, but had moved six states over to get away from their lifestyle.

“I think Claudia wanted you far away from him,” Brian answered, speaking slowly and calmly, “I’m not the one she moved away from. I’m not the one she almost completely erased. She was an hour away from me his entire life. She crossed the country to keep him away from you.”

Holly choked back her surprise and turned her face from the guitarist in the seat next to her. Only she knew the history between them and her daughter and she couldn’t believe Brian would say such things. “You don’t have to be cruel, Brian,” she said, “Surely, you’ve already taken enough from us. You don’t need to taint the memory of our daughter as well.”

“I’m not trying to be cruel,” he responded, checking on his son again, “I just want you to realize that it’s not me that’s going against what Claudia wanted. It’s you. She wanted him to be raised in California, near family and Jake and Crispen. If you and James just let go of this vendetta you have against me, I promise you that you’ll be in EJ’s life. But if you keep fighting me, putting him through this, you will never see him again.”

“That’s not something you can guarantee, Brian. You might have more money than us, but we have enough to have a shot at bringing him home. He’s the only family that we have left, we’re not going to lose him to you. Especially not without at least trying.”

“He’s my blood, my son. He has everything he could ever need with me. He’s well taken care of and brilliant, and there’s no one on the face of the planet that would pull him away from his father just because you want him. It doesn’t work like that,” Brian argued, almost frantic and angry because of her refusal to let go.

“It’s for the best interest of the child,” Holly answered automatically, like she’d been reciting it again and again in the mirror to herself, “Being with stable, honest, hard-working adults is what he needs, Brian. Not a dad who won’t have time to balance his chosen career and his son.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian answered, “What makes you think that I can’t fit my son into my schedule? That I can’t change things around for him?”

“You’re a musician. It’s not typically a nine-to-five job,” Holly answered.

“No, it’s not. But that just makes it more flexible. Evander is going to be at my side wherever I go until he turns eighteen and makes those decisions for himself. He’s not going to be here with you, he’s not going to be with Jake Taylor, he’s going to be with me, and my wife, and his family.”

“We’re his family.”

Brian’s dark eyes landed on the woman. “You won’t be for much longer if you don’t let go and move on. I understand that you’re grieving, but your pain shouldn’t be pushed onto EJ.”

Holly didn’t say much else as she drove through the small neighborhood of Claudia’s old friend. The driveway she pulled into belonged to a two story house with blue paint and white shutters framing big windows. In the front was a little boy who was grinning, waving through the glass at the people pulling up and shouting out to his mother.

“They’re here!” he yelled, turning away from the bay window to rush the door, “Mommy!”

The woman barreled down the stairs, calling out for her five year old to stop screaming before he woke his baby sister. She grinned at him when she reached the bottom though, excited to see him excited. She moved him away from the door and pulled it open, smiling at the people on the other side.

“Holly,” Vivian greeted politely, offering her a smile as she motioned for her to come into her home, “I’m glad you’re here. It’s good to see you again.”

Holly turned on her most appealing smile and turned to introduce the boys behind her once they were all inside. “Vivian, this is Evander, Claudia’s son, and Brian Haner, his father.”

“Hi, it’s really nice to meet you,” the woman greeted, putting her hands on her son’s shoulders, “This is my son, Wiley.”

The parents took a moment to introduce the two boys but Wiley was loud and outgoing and Evander caught on quickly, following the other boy into the living room to go through the giant chest of toys. With a sigh of relief, Vivian grinned and motioned down the hall. “Would either of you like something to drink?” she asked as she led the way, “The roast isn’t quite done yet, but I’m sure I can find something to tide you over while we wait.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Brian asked, sitting down at her kitchen table when she told them to. She moved to get them some lemonade from the fridge. “So, is Evander your only child?” she asked.

“Yeah, just him,” Bri answered, resting his elbows on the table as he ignored his son’s grandmother, “My wife and I were planning on having one in a while, but Evander definitely rocked the boat, so the jury’s still out on that one.”

“So, it’s just you, Evander, and your wife out in California?”

“We have a lot of family around,” he answered easily, taking a sip from the glass she put in front of him, “What about you? Just Wiley?”

Vivian laughed and shook her head. “No, but sometimes I wish,” she joked, “I also have two girls. Carley is nine and Presley just turned two. Carley is upstairs hopelessly ignoring me because I won’t buy her a new bike and Presley is napping.”

“Sounds like you have your hands full,” Bri said, “I don’t know if I could handle three kids all at once. At least not right now, anyway.”

“Once you have two, you figure a third one can’t hurt anything,” she joked, smiling at herself, “But yeah, it’s quite a bit. I’m just lucky to be able to devote my time to them. It would be much harder if I had to fit their schedules around my working schedule.”

She got up to check on the lunch she was preparing and made pleasant conversation with Holly. They remained connected because they both felt Claudia’s loss and it kept them in touch, even though the younger woman started off as Holly’s daughter’s friend from high school.

“So, Brian,” Vivian reverted as she pulled the roast out, “What kind of work do you do?”

Holly didn’t say anything or even react as Brian answered. “I’m a musician,” he said, watching as her eyebrows rose and she turned her full attention to him.

“Really?” she asked, although it wasn’t hard to believe by looking at him, “That’s fascinating. I’ve never heard of you though. What kind of music do you make?”

“I’m in a band. It fits a couple of genres but basically it narrows down to rock.”

“What are you called? Maybe I’ve heard of you?” Vivian asked, not catching on that Brian was reluctant to say. “Well, come on. How can I tell you how great you are if I don’t know who you are?” she joked.

Brian relented. “We’re called Avenged Sevenfold.” He smiled and nodded as she recognized the name, explaining that her step-son was a big enough fan that the band name had spread through the house.

“Carter has a few shirts and posters in her room,” she explained excitedly, “It’s not really my scene but I know your logo and everything. I can’t believe Carter isn’t here, he’d die if you leave before he gets here.”

Brian glanced nervously at the door. He hadn’t decided to make Evander a public figure to his fans yet and he wasn’t sure how well he could trust a teenage boy not to mention it on the internet. He knew the information was safe with him in comparison to some of the other people in the fan base, but he really didn’t want to leave it up to fate.

He stood up abruptly, causing the two women in the kitchen to turn and look at him. He fiddled with the edges of his sleeves as he pulled them down. “Holly, can I speak with you for a minute?” he asked, offering Vivian a polite smile as the flustered older woman nodded and stepped out of the room with his.

“What’s this about?” she asked, eyebrows furrowed as the two of them looked across the foyer to where the little boys were playing in the living room.

“Evander is my son and I’m not ready to put him out in the world yet. There are quite a few people in our fan base who are curious about who he is, and I know that the news about him will spread quickly. They’ll have his pictures on the internet, he’ll be part of the Avenged family - which is great-“ he interjected, “But I’m just not ready to give him to the world yet. He needs more time.”

“What are you saying, Brian?”

“I’m saying that EJ is one introduction away from being outed,” he answered, pressing his hands into his pockets, “If Vivian’s step-son comes home and meets the two of us together and then mentions that it happened, friends are going to wonder why I was in his house. Which will prompt him to tell his friends and anyone else, that his brother had a playdate with my son.”

Holly’s cheeks were reddening as she became even more flustered. “We can’t just run out on these people because you have a fan coming over,” she retorted, “It’s rude and there’s no way that a fifteen year old boy like Carter cares that you have a son.”

Brian gave her a look. “Holly, there are people who write about my life on the internet. There are people who take every aspect of it and analyze it and put it on blogs and news feeds for everyone to read about. And even more than that, there are made up stories about me and my band. They include my wife, my siblings, old girlfriends. They take real aspects of my life and integrate them into fictional stories.”

“That’s indecent,” Holly replied, imaging the worst of what some pop-culture junkies could think up and put on the internet, “How do you just accept that?”

Brian thought that the question was off topic, but he answered hoping to move past it. “It’s a way for the fans to connect with us. They crave interaction and knowledge. They don’t do it to make us feel uncomfortable, Holly, they do it because they love our music and who we are. It doesn’t bother me, I’m just not ready for my four year old to spark a new crop of online novels.”

Holly looked solemn, her eyes set on her grandson. Brian could see the wheels turning in her head and knew he’d given her more leverage against him, but that thought hadn’t occurred to him before he spoke the words. Holly shifted back towards Brian and nodded. “Then we have to leave.”

“I’m not trying to be rude or force your hand in this, but I just want to keep my son to myself for a little while longer. And while I want to share him with everyone, I want to give him time to adjust. I want EJ to have a normal childhood for as long as he can. I don’t want him to look back when he gets older and find stories about himself on the internet. I signed up for this, he didn’t.”

“I understand, Brian,” Holly answered, “Just let me speak to Vivian before we leave. We’ve only been here barely over a half an hour.”

Brian nodded as she stepped past him and headed back down the hall to the kitchen. Brian waited until she disappeared through the swinging door before he headed into the living room and sat down on the couch behind where the boys were playing.

“Hey, E, we’ve got to go soon, man,” Brian said, reaching out to touch the little boy’s back, “We’ve got to get back to your grandparents’.”

Evander spun around on his knees and looked at his father. “I thought we were gonna play longer,” he said, dark eyes interrogating Brian. “And eat food.”

“Yeah we were,” Bri placated, “but something came up and we’ve got to get going early. It’s not a big deal, but we should get your coat and shoes on. Grandma Holly is just saying goodbye now.”

Evander dropped down so that he was sitting on his butt and put the best pout on his face. “But this is fun,” he rebutted, “Please, daddy.”

Brian hated to pull E away when he was finally enjoying himself in the state of Oklahoma, but he knew it was better in the long run. EJ didn’t need information about him on the internet and Vivian already knew the whole story about how Evander had ended up in Brian’s life. All it would take was one pointed question to his step-mom and Carter would have the entire tale at his disposal. If they stuck around, Brian risked it even more.

Brian stood up and pulled Evander from the floor. He didn’t fight, but he was clearly displeased. Wiley got up too and followed them into the kitchen, complaining to his mom that his new friend was already leaving. The woman wrapped her arms around the dark haired child.

“It’ll alright, sweetheart,” she answered, pushing her fingers through his curls, “Carter will entertain you when you get here. For now though, go say goodbye to Evander.”

Holly was stoic when they got back in the car. Her apologetic and friendly goodbyes to the other woman were quickly a thing of the past and Brian could feel the tension in the car.

“So, when are you planning on telling your fans about my grandson?” Holly asked.

“Soon,” Brian answered, “The guys and I are going to work it out. We just wanted to give it as much time as possible before we started explaining.”

“How is this lifestyle safe for him, Brian?” Holly questioned, “I just don’t feel right about this. This has made me worry even more about what you’re getting him into.”

“He’s fine,” Brian retorted, “Tons of musicians have children, I just want to be the one to let people know. I have a lot of friends who haven’t even met him yet. I need time to work this out.”

“And what about your fans’ reactions?”

Brian resisted the urge to sigh and rub his face in annoyance. He would never be able to explain to her what it was like having fans like his. The majority would adore Evander and think of him as part of the Avenged family, but he hadn’t wanted EJ’s face out in the world. He needed time for his son to adjust to him before he was forced to adjust to fame.

“They’ll adore him,” Brian answered, “it’s not that. I’m not worried about his safety. I just wanted to give him time to adjust to me and my life before I integrated him into the other part of it. I didn’t want to overwhelm him.”

“I expect that you’ll work this out,” Holly answered crossly, “And while he’s with you, you better keep him safe, Brian. This child means more to my husband and I than you could even fathom.”

“I think you’re underestimating how much he means to me, Holly. The safest place in the world for him is at my side. Nobody is getting near him if I don’t want them to. No one at all.”