Taste This Breath.
I know better, you know better.
I awoke to the sound of sirens blaring. I was sincerely surprised at this sound, living in a small town in the middle of Nowhere, Texas this sound was quite uncommon.
My double doors that led to the balcony were already open to let the warm summer breeze enter my room which intensified the sound. I rushed out of bed and pulled on pajama pants and threw on a tank before rushing to the balcony to see what was a midst. The sirens were at the house across the street, Caine's house.
I instantly rushed out of my room and down the stairs and basically broke down the front door.
Mother must of still been asleep, of course she was she's deaf.
I bolted to the ambulance and the noises caused my ears to ring.
I attempted to run into the house but the police officers blocked me away, I didn't want to make a scene but I just said "fuck it."
"That's my best friend in there! LET ME IN GOD DAMNIT." I screeched, only a few seconds later they came rushing out with Caine on a stretcher. I broke through the policemen and went to his side.
"WHATS WRONG WITH HIM?!" I asked the paramedics in a high pitched voice.
I looked down at Caine with tears streaming down my face, his eyes were rolled backed to where only the whites of his eyes were showing and he was twitching like mad.
By the time I had examined him we were all the way to the ambulance outside the house, and they finally gave me an answer "Ma'am he's having a seizure, you cannot ride with him in the ambulance."
The pulled him up into the into the ambulance and shut the doors before I had a chance to even grasp at the stretcher.
As the ambulance drove off I ran after it as fast as I could but of course there was no way I could catch up to it I couldn't think. As it drove out of sight towards the hospital I fell to my knees and it was almost impossible to cry anymore before I had wasted them all only a few hours before.
Just then I realized how much people were around me and they were gathered around me in a circle.
A few people from my neighborhood came up to me and rubbed my shoulders and tried to comfort me but I pushed them away and told them "get the fuck away from me."
Although the town was small there was no way I could make it to the hospital and mother and I didn't have a car.
Then the idea came to me and I popped up and ran to the house that was behind ours, pushing the huge crowd that was around me aside.
There lived an elderly couple of the name Eunice and Harry Wilkinson. They were both in their eighties and Harry still played golf in the morning so his golf cart always had a full tank of gas. The couple absolutely adored me and let me used the golf cart to run errands so I was almost positive they would understand, and if they didn't I really didn't care at the moment.
With Onslow being such a tiny town no one bothered to lock their vehicles or houses up. I lifted the seat the seat up and grabbed the keys. As I put the key into the ignition and turned it the golf cart roared to life. I said a quick prayer that I didn't wake Eunice and Harry and tore out of the driveway.
I was sure the crowd of people behind me were screaming at me to stop but I didn't bother to acknowledge it. The hospital was maybe 15 minutes away but as I drove through the streets I was screaming in frustration. "Fuck this thing for not being able to go over 30 miles per hour." I said under my breath.
It was taking too long, and it seemed like forever because the town was completely dead.
I reached the highway and didn't even bother to look both directions before crossing and a truck almost nicked the back of the cart but since it didn't I just kept on going. I swear if it wasn't for that major highway going through our town it would really be a ghost town. A million things were rushing through my head, I had already lost so many people in my life I couldn't lose Caine too. Pulling up to the hospital I had calmed down a bit, or I was atleast as calm as I could be given the circumstances.
I entered the hospital and walked up to the front desk and mom's friend Sharon just had to volunteer to be the receptionist on this dreadful night. As I reached the front desk I was choking and coughing and I heard her say "Scottney! Baby, here let me get you some water." She handed me a bottle of water and I guzzled it down not realizing how dehydrated I had become. As soon as 16 ounces of water was gone I managed to choke out "Where's Caine? WHERE IS HE? IS HE OKAY?! Please tell me he's okay! He can't be hurt, he can't, please God no." and I began to breakdown once more.
She explained that the paramedic team had broke through the doors and immediately took him into Trauma One. I asked her if they had stabilized him and she told me that all she knew that they had taken him into brain surgery and that it could last anywhere from 8 to 10 hours. Then she realized that mother wasn't with me and she asked me where she was. I had calmed down enough to where I could at least string a sentence together.
"She didn't wake up and I....I was thinking and I just, I just came here."
Sharon looked at me puzzled and said "Well then how'd you get here sweety?"
"I took Harry's golf cart and drove here and mom's probably worried sick and Jesus Christ what have I done."
Sharon put her arms around me and comforted me and told me she was going to text mother and that I should go lay on the couch in the waiting area. I wanted the vibration of the text to wake mother but at the same time I didn't she already worried too much about me. Not that I was a bad kid but I had a history of extreme emotions and suicidal thoughts and actions.
I guess I was so exhausted because I woke up to the feeling of my mother patting my leg, that's how she always woke me up. Mother had a cochlear implant and went deaf as a teenager due to meningitis so when she talked it sounded completely normal. I began to rush my words and tell her I was sorry and that I had no choice and she stopped me in my words and told me
"Shhh, it's okay, Sharon told me everything, I was already awake because Eunice and Harry knocked on my window loud enough it wake me up. They told me the golf cart was gone and when we saw that you were gone we assumed you were the culprit. I knew you wouldn't of done it for a stupid or rebellious reason so when Sharon texted me it all made sense. It's okay Scottney just rest."
I couldn't sleep any more though, I felt like I was going to puke and that the bottom of my stomach had completely fallen out.
"How long have I been asleep?" I asked and before mother answered I saw that the clock read read seven in the morning. "I've been asleep for 2 and a half hours?" I half asked and half stated.
Mother replied "yes" and I got up from the couch and stretched. I got a huge cramp in my back and yelped in pain before plopping back down on the couch. I was so shaky and exhausted I couldn't think straight. Just then I realized I wasn't wearing a bra and turned cherry red.
"Uhm...mom you wouldn't happen to have a bra with you would you?" it was such a ridiculous question but what did I have to lose. She rummaged through her over-sized tote bag and pulled a sports bra out. She had everything in that bag, she was always prepared. She pointed me in the direction of the bathroom and I walked down the hallway.
The hospital smelled like death, not that it smelled of anything rotten but you get the picture.
The tile beneath my feet was freezing cold, oh great I had forgotten to throw on shoes too.
Entering the bathroom I flipped the light switch on and the the overhead lights flickered a bit too much then they should.
"The wiring in this place has needed to be redone for millennia" I remarked and was able to make myself chuckle a slight bit.
I checked the few stalls in the bathroom to make sure no one was present and I slipped my top off.
I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but feel disgusted. "My boobs aren't perky and I have stretch marks on them," I thought. "Not to mention these other stretch marks on my hips, God I'm absolutely disgusting in every sense of the word." I said aloud before pulling the sports bra over my head.
I adjusted my boobs so they fit without overflowing "the curses of having double d's" I whispered.
Pulling the tank top back over I turned the faucet on and splashed some cold water onto my face.
I looked at myself in the mirror and realized how much of a wreck I looked.
My eyes were bloodshot and my lips were chapped.
My hair was only a few inches long and cut like a "dyke" spike and it looked tangled, even though I had no idea how that was even possible.
I had black under my eyes and my eyebrow hairs were in every direction.
I exited the bathroom and as the door slammed behind me and for no apparent reason busted out into tears. I put my back up against the wall and slid down until I was in a position where my knees were hugging my chest. "I'm all alone now."I said as if I was talking to someone beside me.
But it wasn't as if that was anything new.
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Hi everyone <3I really like this chapter, and sorry if anything I said was too....graphic but I'm sure some people can relate.
I hope you enjoyed, I love you all <3