Taste This Breath.
Damn rough night.
I must of fell asleep in the middle of prayer because when I woke it seemed to be somewhere around noon.
I guess my silly imagination made me think that Caine would be awake so I looked up eagerly but he was just laying there.
Letting out a deep sigh I dragged my chair over to the window and huddled up.
I usually avoided thinking because my mind would go completely overboard and I would over-analyze things and blow everything out of proportion but I couldn't stop myself this time.
It was quite a stupid thought but I couldn't help but think it.
"What if he doesn't wake up?
Even if he did wake up the last person he would probably want to see would be me.
Just a few weeks we got into a huge argument and I guess it was so stupid I can't even remember what is was. All I knew is we hadn't spoken to each other at all.
When I thought about it I got so angry, my fists balled up and I gritted my teeth.
A part of me felt such anger towards Caine but he was my best friend and I loved him dearly, but he was a total asshole, there was no doubting that.
People hated him, they really did and I couldn't blame them. He's completely insensitive and hates the idea of hanging around happy people, I guess that's why we got along so well.
I had actually started getting happier so we started to drift away, I just didn't happen to realize it.
He completely replaced me while we stopped talking, her name was Annabelle. I knew he had had a crush on her earlier that year because he would talk to me all the time about it. In the beginning I thought it was quite cute but in the end I was insanely jealous of her.
Even when we did speak a few weeks ago before this happened all he could talk about was "Annabelle this and Annabelle that!'
I guess it was my fault we weren't speaking anymore because I had completely blown up on him and he of course didn't understand why.
Now I remember why I was so angry at him.
I never admitted it out loud, I never spoke it and I rarely thought about it.
Being alone in this hospital room by his side forced me to think of it though.
A part, if not all of me was in love with Caine.
It was either that or I had a huge crush on him.
The brother and sister relationship we had didn't feel that way anymore.
At least for me.
We had always talked about the silliest things, like our wedding and what we'd name our children.
He didn't take it seriously, but it was the only hope I ever had of not being alone when I grew old.
I always thought I'd have Caine, but I guess not now.
When it all came down to it all I ever wanted was someone to cuddle with and someone who loved me.
And when I lost that, when I lost Caine I guess it broke me.
"God, all this just fucking sucks." I said in a whisper.
I got up out of the chair and paced around the room in deep thought.
I knew the logical thing to do was just go home and wait because I couldn't do anything but I didn't want to go, at all.
Mother entered the room and said that we had to go, but she could tell by the look in my eye I didn't want to leave.
I really couldn't cry anymore, it was physically impossible all I could feel was empty numbness.
"Honey, we have to go."
The tone of her voice was filled with sadness but she was being very serious.
I didn't have the energy to argue so I leaned over Caine's bed side and stroked his cheek with my thumb.
I bit my lip and turned around, exiting the room mother put her hand on my shoulder.
We walked through the hallway and walked out of the building.
The sunlight blinded me and in almost an instant I got a major headache.
For a moment I wondered how we were going to get home and then the memory of me recklessly driving the golf cart entered my mind.
Of course mother was going to drive this time so I reached into my pocket and handed her the keys.
I slid into the passenger side and the little thing roared to life.
With it being such a small town the chances of someone I knew seeing me looking ridiculous in this golf cart was high but I couldn't care any less at this particular moment.
On the ride home I closed my eyes and mother nor I spoke.
We were home before I knew it, probably because I dozed off during the trip making the half hour feel like mere seconds.
As we entered the front door I simply threw off my pants because of the pure heat.
I told mom I was going to my room to sleep and she just nodded with a sorrowful look on her face.
As I entered my room I basically crash landed onto my bed making it emit a huge squeaking sound.
I didn't need to wait for sleep because it came almost instantly.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry for the short chapter I have been SOOOO busy!I know nothing really happened this chapter, it was just kind of a "filler" I'll try and update before I leave on Friday for Dallas so :3
Love ya'll!