Over and Over Again

Nothing . That's all he told me . Nothing was wrong with me, but then why was Randy acting the way he was . He had no reason too . I did nothing to him . I didn't care what he had to say anymore becuase I wasn't taking this from him . You don't see me getting comfy with any other guys , except for the boys because they're like my brothers . Randy knows that . He knows that I love him . I just wanted to know if he loved me .

We landed and grabbed our bags . We made our way out to the rental car and I sat in the back with Teddy. Every now and then, Randy would look back in the rearview mirror and I could see the sadness and regret in his eyes, but that wasn't going to make me crawl back to him. As far as I'm concerned, I'm done with him. Even though he's been with me through everything , he had no reason to disrespect me the way he did . I just couldn't keep him from my mind , my thoughts . I leaned against the window and his smile popped in my mind . The times he was there and took care of me . I looked over to him and noticed he was looking back at me . Then pictures of him with that girl started flashing in my mind and I looked away . Tears swelled up in my eyes and I felt Ted grab my hand gently .

" It's okay . " He whispered to me . I nodded at sniffled .
" Okay . " I whispered back . The radio was on so Randy couldn't hear us .
" I promise , Ry . Everything will fall back into place . " With that , I just nodded and turned back to the window .

We had pulled up to the hotel. I grabbed my bag out of the back and we all walked in to get our room keys . We had conjoining rooms. Ted and Cody . Randy and I . The ride up the elevator was so silent , you could hear a pin drop . We approached the door and Randy slid his key through to open up our door. Before walking in, I looked over to see a reassuing smile from Teddy as he walked through his door behind Cody . His childish smile made me giggle to myself . I walked into the room and sat my bags down by the far bed on the other side of the room. I sat down facing the balcony . The sun was out and shining bright, remind you it's only about 11am . I felt Randy staring at me , but I didn't want to turn around and see those sharp, viper eyes staring at me. I just kept looking out of the window and then down at my phone .

" What's wrong , Ry . I didn't do anything wrong . " I heard him say behind me. Just hearing him say that made me want to smack the hell out of him but I just slowly turned around and looked at him .
" What's wrong , Randy ? Seriously ? You were all cuddly and touchy , feely with some girl that I don't even know the slightest bit . " He shook his head .
" You're wrong . " Was all he said . That one hurt .
" You're telling me that I'm wrong for feeling the way that I feel ? Who do you think you are ? " I stood up from the bed and walked over to him .
" I didn't mean it like that , Riley . " He whispered .
" Well that's what it sure as hell sounded like , Randy . " I turned to walk away from him .

" I love you , Riley . " The hurt echoed from his voice .

I stopped and didn't bother to turn and face him.
" Well why don't you show it . " I said coldly .
" I do ! I always do ! " He shouted at me .
" Being all touchy , feely with another girl isn't how you show it , Randy ! " I shouted back .
" I didn't do anything wrong ! "
" Yes you did , Randy ! " Tears started to fall from my eyes. He tried to wipe them away but I smacked his hand , " Don't fucking touch me ! " His hand slowly made its way back to his side . The tears were really flowing now .
" What did I do ? " He whispered and then looked up at me , " I'm so sorry , Ry . " I wanted nothing more than to be with him but I don't know if I could ever trust him again . I tried to stand my ground . I tried so hard .
" I love you . I do . And maybe I haven't been showing it but I really do . Today I wasn't very respectful of you and I hurt the one person who means the most to me . I wish I could take it back, but the past is the past . I hope one day you can forgive me but if not , I completely respect that . But , I just want you to know that I love you more than you'll ever know and I can never forgive myself for hurting you like that. " He turned away from me .

" Something always brings me back to you . It never takes to long . " I walked over to him and collapsed into his arms .
" I don't expect you to forgive me right now or even in a few days, but I love you and I need you in my life, that's all that really matters . " He whispered in my ear and held me tight in his arms .
" I love you so much , Randy . " I cried into his chest .

" The love I have for you, is so much stronger and more geniune than any kind of love I have for anyone else . You will always have my heart . " That was all he had to say.