Gerard Way Is My Dad, and Now I'm A Mom

I woke up the next morning in bed, alone. I laid there for a few minutes, wrapped up in my thoughts. I heard my dad in the kitchen with Frank, Little Gerard, and Melody. I wondered what he was doing here and why no one woke me up. I liked to know when my dad was coming over. Usually, he didn’t ever just drop by.

I almost began laughing out loud when I wondered if he was still ‘very happy’ from Mikey ‘baking him cookies’. God, I was such a pervert.

I forced myself out of bed and pulled my matted locks into a bun on the top of my head. I straightened up the camisole I was wearing and trudged out into the kitchen. Gerard turned to look at me, smiling.

Oh Dear God. He’s still happy.

“Good morning, Helena!” He said to me. I waved slightly and rubbed my left eye. I wished he were quieter. “How are you?”

“God, you’re loud,” I mumbled, as the phone rang. I picked it up and read the Caller ID.

Cash, Natasha.

I groaned, wondering how she got my phone number.

“Who is it?” Frank asked from the other side of the room. I shook my head, not wanting to answer in front of Gerard. He raised an eyebrow.

“Hello?” I said, into the phone.

“Hey, Helena. Um…I just wanted to know if you had decided yet,” Natasha wondered.

“Um…I don’t know, Natas-“ I stopped myself from saying her name. “I’ll…call you later, alright?”

“Natasha!?!?” Gerard shrieked. “Where you going to say Natasha?”

He wasn’t happy anymore.

“Um…”

“Is that Gerard?” Natasha asked.

“Yes,” I said to the both of them.

“What?” They both shrieked in sync.

“Dad, I’m talking to Natasha. Natasha, my dad is here,” I admitted, grumbling. “Now, I’m going to hang up because I feel a giant headache coming on.”

“No, don’t!” Natasha squealed.

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I? What, you suddenly like Gerard again? What about your precious Richard? You know what, you aren’t going to move in with Frank and me! No way! No how! I hate you! You aren’t my mom! You caused misery in my life! Now you want to talk to Gerard, again? No! I won’t let you. He’s too good for you!” And with that I hung up the phone.

“Move in with Frank and you?” Gerard asked, shaking his head. “What’s going on?”
“That bitch, who thinks she’s a mother, wanted to move in with Frank, Little Gerard, Melody and I along with her manwhore, Richard,” I explained, irritated. Frank came over and wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh, My God,” Gerard murmured. “Well…how did they get your number?”

“I have no fucking idea,” I started. “But if she calls me again, I’m calling the police.”

And with that, I thumped off to go back to bed.

In a way, that was a very wonderful moment in my life. The reasons are as followed:

• Gerard stopped being all hyper.
• Natasha stopped being all hyper.
• I told Natasha that she couldn’t live with me.
• I stopped lying to Gerard.
• I got to go back to bed.
• And, my mom knew I hated her.

See, what a happy family we have.