The Consequence

The plane landed in LA 3 long hours later. Since my little talk with Max I hadn't seen him but I didn't dare ask any of the others where he went, the questions would be unavoidable and I didn't want to deal with that right now. The whole plane ride I spent brooding by myself, staring out the window and letting out loud signs whenever seemed fit as I tried to sort out the jumbled up mess that is my mind.

*****

I was the first one into the hotel we were staying at tonight after a short taxi ride by myself, I didn't have the guts to share with the boys. I fell flat on my face onto the King sized bed and let out a content sigh, this bed felt like you were lying on a cloud, it was heaven. I was already half asleep still with the same clothes on when Josh walked into the room, he leaned a broad shoulder against the door frame and gave me a sceptical glance.
"So on the plane I was confronted by a um...unstable Max." My head snapped up and my eyes drew ever wider. Oh fuck.
"Oh really?" I tried to give Josh a small smile, deciding to play dumb.
"Yes. And he said the most funny thing to me. Are you ready for the funny part? It'll have you in stitches." I looked over at Josh curious, what was he going on about? I could see a crazed glare in his eyes and a forced smile was plastered on his face. He pushed himself off the door frame and bounded towards where I lay on the bed. "He said that you, that you...FUCKING SLEPT WITH HIM LAST NIGHT!" His fists were clutched and his face was contorted in rage. I swallowed and looked up, I tried to speak, to say anything but my mouth was completely dry. I gave up entirely after the 5th try and instead sank deeper into the bed and lamely shook my head. How could Max do that to me? I thought he cared? How could I be so stupid. Guilt, rage, hurt and regret all washed over my numb body like a crashing wave. A whimper I didn't realize I was holding in escaped my lips. Josh let out a bark of a laugh and clawed at his hair with his still fisted hands.
"So it's true. You slept with one of my best friends. I can't believe this, I thought we had finally cleared the air, had everything behind us. Clearly I was fucking wrong!" He turned towards the door and banged his fists against the wall in pure frustration and rage. I shot up ff my spot on the bed, red hot rage boiling over me. How dare he pin this all on me!
"No Josh, nothing was cleared, NOTHING was fine! I realized this after you cheated on my for the 3rd time! I was drunk and lonely because I still was a little mad at you and Max was there. I know I did wrong but who are you to shout and rage at me for sleeping with the one guy when you've done it THREE FUCKING TIMES and EVERY time I've come back to you and forgiven you...what makes you any different?" I hung my head down not daring to meet this deadly gaze. I could tell he was angry at me for bringing up the past but I couldn't help my outburst, it's been something I've been meaning to say for a while and it was finally out in the open, I just had to suck it up. Josh let out a sigh and leaned down on the bed beside me, he had his head down looking at his hands, all his anger seemingly seeped right out of him and he now looked exhausted.
"I know, I'm sorry. I guess I was just so overwhelmed and I guess I've hurt you more than you've hurt me. But you have to get this in your head - I love you. And this time I want us to go back to being a functional couple with no cheating or nothing." He looked up at me, his blue orbs burning a hole into my emerald green ones. Normally I would fall right back into his open arms and everything would be fine...until about 2 days after. But this time was different, after my night with Max I realized what I've been missing and all the lies and hurt Josh has caused me could all just be for nothing. I was stronger now and as I looked right back into his eyes I shook my head.
"No Josh. I've gone through enough. Every time you say that you go off and do something stupid and I'm there to pick up the pieces, but not this time. We're done." Hurt and confusion flashed over his eyes and he furrowed his eyebrows before stumbling over his words in shock.
"But-but I don't...don't understand...I love you." He held out a hand to touch my cheek but I batted it away not giving in to his games.
"No Josh. If you loved me I would have been enough for you and you wouldn't have felt the need to cheat, but you did anyway. I don't want to be with you anymore. Get out." I pointed a finger towards the door and watched as he slowly got to his feet and made his way out. He turned around one last time and I was met with his tear stained face and glassy blue orbs. My heart felt like it was being torn from my own chest but I knew deep down this was the right thing to do.
"Goodbye Josh, I'll see you around."

The last thing I remember is the door sliding shut and the tears streaming down my face as I found myself curled in a ball on the bed letting out loud sobs with the feeling of a gaping whole in my chest where my heart should have been. I blacked out.