Temporary Bliss

“I mean we can always figure how to work this relationship thing out if you agree to it. Maybe I can move out there?” Her heart was accelerating in a rapid pace. Was it stupid to even suggest such a thing? Maybe, but in her heart she really wanted to believe that this was going to last despite what others have been telling her from the beginning she had to know.

Dorien has spent most of her nights with Ryan having sex and talking while they recovered. When Ryan looped his arm around her waist, she felt special and was a little hurt when he let go when there were photographers. In a way, she was grateful because now that she thought about it they would have labeled her some kind of slut or lime light hog. She rather not be in the spotlight, but if he agreed then she will get used to it just for him.

As she watched his blue eyes go through so many emotions, Dorien’s heart was unforgiving as it pounded in her chest. “I don’t know if that is such a good idea.”

Within seconds, her heart dropped, but gained some flight as she lingered onto the hope of getting what he said clarified. “What isn’t such a good idea? Being in a relationship or moving?” Dorien so desperately wanted everything to work out in her favor. She wanted something to happen in her life other than being in Belarus and going to school and competing in the Olympics.

The blonde teen wanted to date. She wanted to learn more about herself, spiritually, sexually, and physically. Dorien never had the chance to sit back and really see how much she has grown as a person and not once back home as any boy struck her fancy. She wanted to be normal for a little while and maybe Ryan can help her with that.

Ryan sighed; clearly this girl wasn’t understanding what he was trying to say. He didn’t want to hurt her, but the truth is what might set him free from her. “I like you, Ian. I really do, but” his crystal blue eyes saw how her baby blues were fading in color, “I don’t want a relationship with you. I was just looking for a good time with a beautiful girl and I did. The games are almost over and to be attached to someone that lives in a different country and isn’t out of high school yet-”

“I am out of high school.” Dorien snapped.

It was a touchy subject for her. She knew she was younger than him, ten years to be exact, but that didn’t stop him from doing the things he did with her. “If you didn’t want anything else from me then why did you led me on? If it was only physical then why did we act like a couple? Holding hands, hugging, kissing-”

“I never said I wanted to be with you.” Ryan exclaimed, “I’m sorry if I am hurting you, but the last time I was in a relationship it didn’t work out and she was living in the same area as me. Don’t you think it would be impossible to have one with you being so far away, even if I wanted one?”

Dorien pursed her lips as she glanced down at what really was said. Her heart was now being stomped on repeatedly, “You don’t have to keep saying it.” She muttered, “You don’t have to keep saying you don’t want to be with me. I get it!” Angry tears streamed down her face as she looked up at the swimmer, “You say you don’t want to hurt my feelings yet you just completely disregarded my feelings and say things that don’t need to be said. I’m not a fucking idiot Ryan! I understand subtle messages!”

“Really? Because every time I say something you always ask to have it clarified. I don’t want to be with some kid that has no clue on what she’s doing.”

The blond stood there in shock disbelieving that this sudden hope that she had was now going down in this never ending spiral. Biting the inside of her lip, she tasted the blood that was gushing into her mouth before releasing it. “If I’m so childish then why did you repeatedly screw me on every surface in your room or the threesome that we had or maybe the sex we just had? I doubt a child would do such a thing.”

Dorien watched Ryan sigh. She wasn’t the immature one. He was. Ryan didn’t look like he didn’t want to be there anymore and was through with the bickering. “If I wanted to fight I would have a girlfriend, Ian. I’m not saying I didn’t have a good time with you, but it was only temporary. That’s it.”

The blonde uttered the typical teenage response before leaving the bathroom sick and tired of everything that came with the drama with Ryan. As quick as they had been together fooling around it easily fell apart from the seams of their nonexistent relationship. Dorien was really just done with the whole thing, but saddened at the same time.

During her competition, she failed to place in the individuals and barely obtained a bronze with her team which she was proud of nonetheless. Her mind was off somewhere else during the whole time she was throwing that ribbon and having that smile on her face when the Belarus flag was brought down and the Russian national anthem was in play. It seems to flash before her eyes when she was faced with both of her parents, Joe and Francesc along with her loving sister Ruby who was running late.

Dorien glanced out the window of the semi casual restaurant in London that her parents decided to take it upon themselves to treat her to a nice meal because of her victory. “It wasn’t much of a victory.” She grumbled.

“Where is your bubbly spirit? Placing third on your first try is fantastic, baby girl.” Francesc said, worried about the wellbeing of their child. Something was completely off with her, she was detached and just off somewhere in the clouds throughout the whole Olympic Games.

“Yeah, but I didn’t even place in the individual.” The gloomy air that surrounded her increased, Not only that, but I fucked up by being a freaking slut with Ryan Lochte. Dorien bitterly sipped her drink as she snapped, “Where’s Ruby?”

“Dorien! Watch your tone.” Joe scolded as he watched his teenage daughter roll her eyes dramatically. To think that they were lucky to have such a happy teenage and was easier to handle than the rebellion that Ruby had clearly the attitude came back to haunt them. Dorien was now experiencing heartbreak and betrayal for the first time and it deeply scarred her.

The looming thoughts were, Where did I go wrong?

What did I do to deserve this?

Can’t I find someone to love me for me and not think of me as some child?

How can I be so stupid and fall for someone like Lochte?

As stupid it made her feel to have those thoughts, it still bugged her and the last time irritated her the most. What you experienced wasn’t love. A darker inner thought interrupted herself beating. Just when she was going to continue her inner battle they were interrupted by the voice of her older beloved sister.

“Sorry we’re late everybody! We got caught up in something else.” A giggle erupted from the red head’s lips as her hand was intertwined with someone else’s. Dorien kept her head down as she continued to sip down her drink which one of her fathers scolded her not to spoil her appetite by drinking so much.

Greetings were exchanged, but she easily blocked them out as she wallowed in her misery. “Ian, introduce yourself.” She heard the warning tone in one of her fathers’ voices. She lifted her blonde head up to almost choking on the drink that she was clutching to. “Ryan this is my baby sis, Ian.”

Ryan’s lips stretched into a smile as he reached out to shake her hand, “Nice to meet you, Ian.” Dorien could hear her inner self just screaming at this fool, how in the hell did this happen? Where was Alana when she needed her? Alana has been her rock since the day they called it a truce and she brought light into what she actually believed in.

Dorien watched the two sit down across from her as Ruby broke Dorien’s trance, “Are we going to eat or just sit here?” Dorien’s eyes were stuck on the image of her sister’s hand molded with Ryan’s. Here she was pretending that she didn’t know him and during her stay here, Ryan put on a façade that he didn’t know her and yet now that he was with Ruby by the looks of it, he proudly walked around holding hands. She asked herself how he can move on so easily, but then he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards her so what was there to move on from?

“We’re waiting for Ian’s friend.”

“Ah, your mystery boyfriend I assume?” Ruby grinned as she wiggled her brows. That caused a stir between the parents as they looked at their eighteen year old daughter.

“What boy, Ian?”

“What is she talking about?”

“Who is he? Do we know him? Please tell me that he isn’t an athlete and some English boy while you were here.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have a penis or facial hair.” Alana made her entrance as she smiled happily towards the Casanova family. “I’m Alana, Ian’s friend.” The gaze that Alana held with Dorien made the younger girl’s cheeks heat up.

Did she mention that she was having disturbed unadulterated feelings towards Alana?

She didn’t know why she was developing such feelings, but having her there actually made her feel better. Ruby gave her little sister a smile, “Ah, so you two a couple then?” Pointing a finger towards the older woman and moving it across towards her sister. Dorien didn’t know what to call themselves after the constant chatting and being stuck together like glue after her debacle with Ryan.

Alana noticed that Dorien was quiet as her eyes flickered over to Ryan who seems to have his attention on the little blonde who hasn’t answered her sister’s question. Boldly holding Dorien’s hand, she lifted it up for everyone to see, “You can say that.”

Dorien’s eyes peered up towards Alana to see that friendly smile that made her feel more comfortable with the situation brought to them. Smiling to herself, she looked up and nodded her head in confidence.

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.