Coma Therapy

Sitting in the living room of her childhood home Arianna couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. She kept expecting to see her dad walk around the corner. That wouldn’t happen though, never again.

Curling into Dan’s side she watched the people give their condolences to her mom. James was sitting quietly in the corner playing with his trains.

“You want to go for a walk?” Dan asked giving her hand a squeeze.

Ari nodded and grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the side table. It was her second pack since she got back in California the night before.

Quietly slipping out the door unnoticed the friends walked briskly down the street. So many cars were parked outside, there was even a couple paparazzi hanging about.

Flipping them off Dan held Ari close to his side. This was a time for them to mourn, not to be photographed and picked apart.

“You know where you want to go?” he asked quietly taking out his own cigarette and lighting it.

“Just some place quiet,” she whispered. “How did you handle it when Max died?”

“Not well,” Dan replied. He couldn’t tell her he turned to drugs. Not with her being a recovering addict. “This should be quiet enough,” he said stopping in front of a coffee shop. “Yeah?”

Ari shrugged and walked through the door he opened for her. Any place was better than there.

“You want a hot chocolate?” Dan asked from the counter.

Nodding Ari turned and found a seat in the corner. It was times like these when she desperately wanted to get high, to fly away and never come back.

Dan handed her a mug and sighed. He knew what she was thinking. He could only be there for her though. And not at all times of the day.

“How’s Tucker?” Ari asked looking out the window to see people stopping and pointing at them. She sighed. She’d never be free.

“He’s good, he’s hating school, normal kid stuff,” Dan laughed. “He’s going to join us on tour next month.”

Ari nodded not knowing what to say. She had all but forgotten tour. She had to do it though. She couldn’t just pull out now. Even if everyone would understand.

“Ari please don’t do this to yourself,” Dan said. “You and I both know what’s down that path. You already came back once. Do you really think you could come back again?”

“I don’t know Dan,” Ari mumbled. “You still have your parents. You don’t understand.”

“I may have them but I’m not close to them,” Dan replied. Taking her hand in his over the table he gave it a gentle squeeze. “He wouldn’t want you to do this Ari.”

“Yeah well he’s not here anymore,” Ari barked. “I think I’m going to go for a walk, by myself,” she added.

“Just stay strong Are, you don’t need them,” he whispered back watching her walk away. He should follow her but that would only piss her off. He had to trust her.



Playing with her two year coin Ari sighed heavily. Did she really want to throw that away? Yes she did. The pain was too much.

Pressing send on her phone she bit her lip. She was really doing this.

“I was wondering when I’d get this call,” Jamie laughed. “The normal?”

“A starter dose, it’s been two years,” she whispered. “I’ll be there soon.”

Getting up she dropped the coin on the grave. She wouldn’t need it anymore.

“Jamie,” Ari greeted when he opened the door. “How much do I owe you?”

“This is on the house, welcome back,” he smiled. “Sorry about your dad.”

Throwing him an angry look she just shook her head. She was not here to talk about her father. She was just here to pick up the drugs.

“Alright, so this is heavy duty stuff, you don’t want to overload yourself,” Jamie said handing her a small baggy and a couple of needles. “It’s nice seeing you Arianna.”

Ari rolled her eyes and put the things in her bag. When she did take them again she did not want to be here. She wanted to be alone.

“So that’s it? You gonna leave now?” Jamie asked watching her. The years had done him no good. His teeth were rotting out of his head, his skin was a sick grayish color, his hair was matted down, and his clothes were full of holes.

Nodding Ari turned and walked to the door. “Thank you Jamie, it means a lot.”

Jamie laughed and ushered her out the door. She would be back for more. And then he would charge her and charge her big.



Quietly opening the door Ari tiptoed in. The night sky was still darkening and the cars outside had all dispersed.

Going to the kitchen she grabbed a water bottle and a spoon that she stuck in her pocket.

“Sissa,” James voice shouted from the living room. “Sissa!”

“Hey buddy,” Ari greeted kneeling down beside him. “What’s up?”

“Momma was worried,” James told her giving her his tightest hug. “Where you go?”

“Just out for a walk. Do you know where mom is now?” Ari asked ruffling his hair. He always made her smile. Right now though, she couldn’t smile, he looked so much like their dad.

“Talking with Dan in the office,” James relayed smiling. “Wanna play trains with me?” he asked hopeful.

“Some other time Bud, I gotta go talk to Mom,” Ari said getting up from the floor and making her way to the office. Standing outside the door she sighed, they were, of course, talking about her.

“I don’t think she will Michelle,” Dan spoke his voice tired. “She’s strong, it’s been two years, she wouldn’t throw all of that away.”

Michelle said something but she didn’t catch it.

“Have faith,” Dan replied. “She’s going to be fine.”

Taking that moment to walk through the door Ari caught her mom’s tear stained face. She wasn’t sure if the tears were for her or for her father. Maybe they were for the both of them.

“I just wanted to tell you guys I’m back,” she said yawning. “I’m going to bed.”

“Oh Ari,” Michelle said giving her daughter a tight hug. “I was worried.”

“I know,” Ari replied giving her mom a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Nodding to Dan she made her way up to her room.

Locking her door she went to her bed and collapsed. She had the drugs, she could shoot away her pain… Sighing she looked to her nightstand. The picture of her, her dad, and James smiling brightly at her brought tears to her eyes.

It was last Christmas. They had just finished opening presents. She wish she could go back to then. Be happy, strong, the need for drugs not even on her mind.

“Daddy,” she whispered to the night. “I need you.”

Standing outside her bedroom door Dan bit his lip. Trying the doorknob he sighed. She had locked it. “Ari,” he called. “Come on, let me in.”

Hearing her walk over to the door and the lock click he opened the door and brought her into a hug. “It’s going to be okay Are,” he whispered kissing the top of her head. “I’m here for you.”

Crying into his chest Ari let her pain be known. What was she going to do without her dad? He was her rock, he was the reason she went to rehab in the first place.

Looking up at her best friend Ari noticed that he too was crying.

“Lay with me?” she asked lamely.

“Of course,” Dan said throwing the blankets back. Laying in silence Dan listened to Ari’s soft cries. “Where’d you go today?”

Taking a deep breath Ari bit her lip and curled into his side. He would be so disappointed, so heartbroken. But he was her sponsor, he had to know. “I went to the cemetery, to Max’s grave. I spent most of my time there. Then I went to see Jamie,” she whispered. “I don’t think I can stay strong Dan, not without my dad.”

Squeezing her to him Dan sighed. “I’m always here for you, when you think you need drugs, I’m here for you.”

“I,” she paused and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I got some. I haven’t used them yet. I just, incase I can’t handle it anymore.”

“If you can’t handle it anymore Arianna I’m right here, I’ll be your rock,” Dan said swallowing the lump in his throat. So she did get drugs but she hadn’t used them yet. That was a plus. “Don’t give up on yourself Are, don’t give up.”

Nodding Ari took a couple deep breaths to calm herself. Letting the silence envelope them once more Ari silently drifted to sleep leaving Dan awake wondering. Could he catch her before she fell? He had to. He owed it to Brian. He owed it to everyone.