Coma Therapy

Looking around the cemetery Ari just shook her head. Today was the day. And she wasn’t even high. She wasn’t sure how she was even standing.

Twirling the flower in her hands she wondered what he would say if he saw her right now. He’d probably lift her chin up and make her look him in the eyes, whisper quietly so just she could hear, that it’d be alright, and then kiss her forehead. But he wasn’t here, and no one was going to do that.

Turning her head to see Dan with his eyes closed she bit her lip. He had flushed the drugs last night while she had slept. She wasn’t mad at him, but she wish she could have had just a tiny bit of it.

Feeling her eyes on him Dan held out his hand. He wouldn’t open his eyes. They were too bloodshot and she didn’t need to see that.

Grabbing onto his hand she gave it a tight squeeze. Anyone that saw them would assume they were a couple, but they weren’t. Just best friends. Besides, she was more interested in the female persuasion.

Seeing the preacher come into view Ari popped her ear buds in her ears. She didn’t want to hear what he would say. She barely wanted to be here.

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips when the song started. Of course it would be Hear You Me, by Dan’s band. He filled her with warmness without even knowing it.

Feeling a tap on her arm she turned to her mom and took out her ear buds.

“You want to say a few words?” Michelle asked quietly, a frown spread across her face.

Taking a second to think Ari nodded and handed Dan her iPod. Walking up to where the preacher was standing she bowed her head to him.

With a deep breath she scanned the faces of the crowd. All their friends and family were there. They had security set up around to prevent fans or paparazzi from bothering the procession.

“My Dad was my rock,” she started glancing at the large cherry wood coffin. “I… When I was going through a hard time he was there. I remember when he was visiting me he told me something, and it’s stuck,” she paused and let her eyes connect with Dan’s. “He told me that I had to find my own way, and he made me promise that when he was gone I’d keep going down this path I had found for myself. I just want to say that he was the greatest man I have ever known and he will never be forgotten. Be it by the fans, who know him as Synyster Gates, or by his friends, who he shared many adventures with, and by his family. He was the greatest father. He was the greatest man.”



Hugging her uncle tightly Ari cried into his shoulder. Dan had business with his band and tomorrow they would have to hit the road once more.

“It’s going to be okay,” Matt whispered. “You were great today.”

Ari nodded not taking her head away from his chest.

“He was very proud of you,” Matt told her. “We all are.”

Ari nodded again. Feeling a small tug on her shirt sleeve she took her head away and looked down to see her brother. He had no idea what was going on. He was only two.

“Sissa,” he whispered. “Why you cryin’?”

Embracing James she hugged him tight. “I’m just going to miss you. You remember I have to go on tour right?”

James nodded and hugged her back just as tight. “And we is coming with you,” he exclaimed.

Shaking her head Ari pecked his forehead. “Not right now Buddy, you have to be here with Mom, okay?”

Furrowing his eyebrows James bit his lip. “But why? We gonna go with you! Daddy promised!” His lower lip started quivering and he shook his head. “Daddy promised and now he’s gone! Why’d he leave, Sissa?”

Feeling her own lip quivering Ari sadly shook her head. “It was his time Buddy. And next time I go on tour you can come. I promise, okay?”

“No I wanna go this time! Please Sissa, please,” he begged pounding his little fist on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry Buddy,” she whispered letting him go. Looking up to her Matt she just shook her head and left the room.

Why did he have to leave? He had been healthy! It wasn’t fair.

Going up to her room she shut her door and went to the corner. Her keyboard was still set up and plugged in.

Playing a song she hadn’t played in months she let the tears flow.

How could she have let this happen? Why couldn’t he have waited until she was home? Why now?

“I didn’t watch you die,” she said finishing the song. “I’m so sorry Daddy.”



Finding Ari curled up in bed Dan smiled. They would often sleep together, finding more comfort with someone then by sleeping alone.

“Dan?” Ari questioned groggily. “That you?”

“It’s me,” he whispered. “Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s fine,” she replied. “We still set for tomorrow?”

Dan nodded and crawled in next to her. “Damien is going to come pick us up at eight, so we have to wake up at six if we want to be ready.”

Nodding Ari curled into his side. Would she be able to handle tour? She wasn’t giving herself much time to grieve. In her mind she couldn’t take that time. She needed to keep herself occupied. She couldn’t let herself think about it.

She remembered when her grandfather had died. She had been a wreck for an entire month. Each day she would ask her parents why Papa wasn’t over yet and every night she would crawl into bed with them with tears running down her cheeks.

“Hey Dan,” Ari whispered looking up to him. “You think I’ll be okay?”

“I think if you don’t close yourself off you will be,” Dan said. “Do you think you’ll be okay?”

Ari shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Do you think I’ll ever find someone?”

“Like a girlfriend?” he asked. Ari nodded. “When the time is right I think you will. And when you do find her, you both will be very happy.”

Smiling Ari nodded and closed her eyes. Maybe when she did find that someone she wouldn’t even have to think of drugs.

Snapping her eyes open again she bolted up in bed. “Dan,” she said her voice distraught. “Dan.”

“What?” he grumbled rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Ari?”

“I need to go,” she said throwing the blankets to the side. “I need to go get something!”

“What are you talking about Ari? It’s only,” looking at the clock he groaned. “It’s only four in the morning Ari, come back to bed.”

“No, I need to go,” she said again pulling a pair of jeans up her legs. “I left my two year coin in the cemetery. I need to get it.”

Sighing Dan nodded and got out of bed himself. “Alright, just let me get dressed and we’ll drive.”

Nodding Ari went to her closet and grabbed a shirt. She couldn’t believe she had forgotten that she had left it there. And to think of performing without it…

Running down the stairs she jumped in the car. Dan was seconds behind her yawning.



Returning to the house the friends jumped out of the car. They only had a half hour to get ready. They had stayed at the cemetery for a while.

Ari didn’t wander over to where her father was buried. She stayed where Jimmy and Max were. She hadn’t let her mind wonder if he was up there with them or if there was a Heaven.

“Where were you guys?” Michelle asked her voice full of worry.

“Sorry Mom, I had to go get something,” Ari said quietly. “Why are you awake anyways?”

“James woke up with a nightmare,” Michelle said. “You’re okay right Arianna?”

“I’m good Mom,” Ari told her. “You good?”

Michelle nodded and walked back to the kitchen. She wouldn’t tell Ari but she had been worried that she had gone off to get drugs. She knew that she didn’t though because Dan would never have allowed it.

“What time are you guys leaving?” Michelle asked handing them both cups of coffee.

“Damien will be here in about twenty minutes,” Dan said. “I have to go recheck my bag, make sure I packed everything I was suppose to.”

Nodding Michelle turned to Ari.

“Make sure to say goodbye to your brother,” she said walking out of the room.

Ari sighed and wandered off to find her brother. He had been so upset that he wasn’t going with her on tour anymore. He had refused to look at her all throughout dinner.

“Buddy?” Ari asked quietly knocking on his door. Poking her head through she saw him playing with his trains. “Can I come in?”

Looking up at his sister he shrugged. She was leaving him just like his Daddy.

“Can I have a hug?” she asked dropping onto her knees. “Please?”

Shaking his head he turned back to his trains.

So he was still ignoring her. “I’m going to be leaving soon,” she whispered. “James please, I’m sorry you can’t come.”

“You’re leaving! You’re going away just like him! So go,” he shouted glaring at her. “Leave!”

Pulling her brother to her she held him tight. He sobbed against her shoulder.

“I know your mad James,” she said stroking his hair. “I get it. But I promise I will come back. Now you’re the man of the house so you take care of Mom, okay?”

Swallowing the lump in his throat he nodded. He could do that. “You call still?”

“I’ll call,” she promised. “I love you James. And Daddy loves you too.”

James nodded pulling himself away from her and going back to his trains. Wiping his eyes he crashed two of them into each other.

Getting up off the floor Ari gave her brother one more glance before walking out of the room and to hers. She had to continue down this path. She had to stay strong. And she would, for her dad and for James.