Uncharted

Two days after I had slept with Des, he still hadn't said anything about it or acted strangely around me. I followed his lead and pretended that everything was the same between us, like we hadn't seen each other naked. He either wasn't going to say anything or had no idea I had been the girl he dragged home that night. Either way, I wasn't about to complain.

I was sitting in the back seat of Cooper's car. I had my bare feet propped up on the back door and my body was slumped in the seat. It looked uncomfortable but it was the most comfortable. I had the perfect view of the sky which was it's usual grey color.

Cooper decided that day was the perfect day to do some Christmas shopping. I had agreed before I knew Des was going to be there, not that it really mattered since he hadn't said anything about our little encounter. I needed to get some shopping done before I headed back to America to spend the holiday with my family.

"You look like you have no spine when you sit like that." Des commented, looking back at me from the passenger seat. 

"I don't have a spine. I'm a jellyfish." I answered bitterly, thinking of how I would probably end up running into Dylan when I was home. I knew I was putty in his hands. It was easy to ignore his calls and texts, but knowing Dylan he'd show up at my house. I had no idea what to in a situation like that.

"Hey, are still upset about that cunt ex of yours?" Cooper picked up on the apathy in my voice.

"Obviously." Des answered. 

"I just don't know what to do when I see him." I admitted.

"Why are you going to see him? I thought you hated him?" Des asked, somewhat annoyed. I desperately wanted to avoid fighting with him on what was meant to be a fun day.

"Don't worry about it. Let's just forget about." I hugged my arms around myself, putting my headphones in to block out the guys. I knew Cooper would keep talking about it because Cooper loved to analyze and figure everything out.

We had about a thirty minute drive until we reached the shopping center that Cooper was set on going to. I spent my time by watching scenery fly by, still somewhat amazed by the beauty of Ireland's landscape which Des and Cooper seemed oblivious to. They lived there for their entire lives so I'm sure they were accustom to it.

I barely even noticed the music I had playing. My mind just kept running over the idea if spending Christmas without Dylan. I had become so used to spending Christmas with Dylan that the thought of spending it alone scared me. Dylan was always there to swiftly divert my families negative energy away from. Having to put up with my family was what I was fearing most other than running into Dylan.

I must have been lost in my thoughts longer than I thought because in what seemed like seconds Cooper had yanked the headphones out of my ears. 

"You must be thinking pretty hard." Cooper laughed. "We're here!" he grinned at me and practically jumped out of the car.

We stayed together as a group for an hour before Cooper ran off claiming he needed to buy Christmas presents for the two of us. That made me realize that I had no idea what to get Cooper and even less of an idea of what to get Des. 

"Who are you shopping for now?" Des asked, somewhat less annoyed sounding than usual.

"My sister." I said plainly, browsing a display of bracelets that seemed her style. 

"I didn't know you had a sister...or family even. You never talk about them."

"There's nothing to say about them." I said bitterly, grabbing two of the bracelets and walking toward a wall full of purses. "Besides, we never really talk about anything so you shouldn't seem surprised."

"Good point." Des said staring blankly at the purses in front of us. "I have two sisters." he added.

"Older or younger?" I asked, trying to keep a casual conversation to avoid the awkward silences we usually shared. 

"Younger." he paused "Gemma and Sophie."

"My sister is three years older than me, her name is Madison." I said picking up a purse I knew my sister would love.

"Madison and Olivia...that's so..."

"Don't." I warned him, knowing very well how upper class my parents tired to be when naming us.

Des laughed and  continued to stare the purses blankly. Clearly having no idea how to pick one. "You're a girl. Pick out something my sisters would like."

I rolled my eyes but laughed "I don't know. What do they like? What are their personalities?"

"I don't know! I usually just send them money!"

"How can you not know?" 

"I moved out when I was eighteen, I haven't been home since then. I don't even know what they look like anymore!"  Des confessed, refusing to look at me.

I stared at him, my mouth slightly opened. "They're your family. You should go see them." I said breathlessly when I was finally able to speak again.

"It's not something I'm proud of." he admitted quietly, a faint pink dusting his face.

"Go see them." 

"I can't."

"Why?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I just can't! Drop it, yeah?" he snapped and walked away.

"Yeah. Whatever."

"Don't say that. It's the most irritating word in the English language." Des ranted, standing beside me while I paid for my sister's gift. 

"Whatever." I growled and began to speed walk away from him. I was in a terrible mood that, just the thought of going home was making me miserable. I wanted to see my sister but I did not want to see the rest of my family. Mostly, I didn't want to see my dad. My dad and I never liked each other. I can't even remember a time that we acted like a father and daughter. We simply did not like each other. 

"You're trying to start fights today, aren't you?" Des asked, annoyance was very clear as he spoke.

"No." I lied. 

"Yes you fuckin' are. What's your problem?" Des asked in a half yell, earning us nasty looks from people around us. 

"I'm not! Okay? Can we just drop it?" I matched his tone. Unfortunately, my eyes began to well up with tears. When I get really mad, I cry.  Plus, I really didn't want to go home to be verbally harassed by my family. I wiped the corner of my eye quickly and turned away from Des. I hated crying in front of people. I hoped Des didn't notice and we could spend the rest of the day in silence.

Of course he noticed. Des had always been extremely observant. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly, without any emotion.

"Nothing." I snapped and kept walking, not bothering to look at him because I was still trying to get my frustrated tears disappear. 

"Okay." Des didn't push the subject. I thought he probably just didn't really care. Then he did something that shocked me, he grabbed my hand and tangled our fingers together. Without a single word, he made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

We walked in silence. Neither of us said anything. I don't think there was anything either of us could have said. My heart felt like it was going to explode, it was a combination of the way he smelled and how perfectly our hands fit together that made my heart go frantic. I mean, it was Des for fuck's sake. He was the most beautiful man in the world. It didn't help that I kept wondering if he remembered the night we had sex.

He looked down at me just as I happened to glance at him. A ghost of a smile danced across his lips. At that moment nothing else seemed to matter. It was his way of reassuring me that everything would be okay. And I believed him.

However, it was a sense of false hope. Nothing would be okay.