All Grown Up

I am losing my mind. Everything is falling apart. I don't know how much more I can handle.

“Oh look, it's the stupid slag," an all too familiar voice spat. I clutched my books tighter to my chest and kept walking. Just keep walking Anastasia. “Hey you slag!"

As I walked past them they called out but I didn't look back. I told myself I wouldn't let them get to me. I couldn't. I couldn't let them know what they did to me. All of a sudden my arm was jerked back making my books fall to the floor with loud thuds. 

“I was talking to you." I tried to jerk my arm free of the tight grip but it wouldn't budge. My eyes were staring at the ground when all of a sudden my face was jerked up to meet the face of Harry Styles.

Harry Styles. The one who started all of this when we were just in preschool. You would think after so many years of this I would be used to it...but I'm not. How can anyone ever get used to a group of people calling them hurtful names for no reason? It gets to you after a while. 

“Leave me alone," I mumbled. A sinister smirk appeared on his face. “Don't think so love. It's too much fun." 

Fun. This was fun to him. That's all it was. Fun. He was doing this because it was fun. This was like a game to him. I was the playing pieces he could do whatever he pleased to. A new found confidence surged through me as I pushed him away with all my strength and hastily picked up my things from the tiled floor. 

“You bitch! Get back here!" He hollered after me. I ignored him and continued to run down the hall. I needed to get away. I needed to just leave. “Not so fast."

I was once again jerked back, this time falling to the ground. My hands caught me from hitting my face. Pain shot through my right hand causing me to cry out. 

“Why are you doing this? I never did anything to you," I cried.

The curly haired boy scoffed. “Nobody wants you to be here. Why don't you go kill yourself like your mum and dad did."

He didn't. He didn't just bring up my parents. How could he. “How dare you," I spat through my tears. “You're a low life piece of trash." He reached forward and pushed me down. As soon as that happened a teacher came running down the hall yelling at Harry. I took off, leaving my things behind. 

I didn't need this. I didn't need to be reminded of my parents dying. I didn't need to be bullied to no reason. I didn't need to be treated like that. I just needed to get away. I needed to leave.


They wouldn't have wanted this. I never would have pictured myself doing this. No one who knew the real me wouldn't have wanted this or pictured me doing this. But it was the only thing I could do to stop what had been going on for the last thirteen years of my life. 

The sky was dark. The stars were shining. The faint sound of crickets met my ears. This was where I grew up and I was leaving it all behind. I stared at the ledge in front of me and slowly climbed to stand on it. The road below me was busy. Not that it mattered. With the height of the bridge, I would be gone no matter what. 

“I'm sorry Mum and Dad," I whispered, looking up at the sky through my glasses as tears silently made their way down my face. “I just can't take it anymore. I've tried, but I can't. Harry and his friends won't leave me alone at all. They've been doing this since I was three. He told me today that I should kill myself like you guys did." At those words a gust of wind blew making goosebumps appear on my bare arms. I gripped the beam tighter with my left hand and squeezed my eyes shut. 

Just jump Ana. Just jump. 

“Hey! Get down from there!" A voice shouted. The voice startled me making me lose my grip and slip off the ledge. My hand grasped the ledge, but it was slipping. All of a sudden a large hand grasped my wrist. A head popped over the edge and it was someone I never wanted to see again. Someone who was the main reason I was trying to do this. I was putting myself out of the misery. When he saw who I was his face went front fear to shock. “What in the bloody hell are you doing Anastasia?! You could kill yourself!"

“Let go of me!" I screamed. Tears streamed down my cheeks like a faucet going full force. “I'm doing what you asked! Let. Me. Go." 

He shook his head and somehow managed to pull me up and back over the ledge. When my feet were firmly on the ground I tore my arms from his grip and started hitting him. Tears blurred my vision but I still kept hitting him. 

“Y-You're ruining it-it!" I shouted. “You're ruining it! You git!"

“Ana, stop." I kept hitting him as tears still rolled down my cheeks. “Ana, stop it!" He grabbed my wrists and pulled me into him. I fought against him, but gave up after a minute. I was too hysterical to fight. 

“Why....why a-are you do-doing t-this?" I sobbed. That left him quiet. He probaby didn't know why. He didn't know why he saved me. He was after all, the one who told me to kill myself like my parents earlier today. Does he not remember? “Do you not remember what you said to me earlier?" By now I was done sobbing, so I slid out of his arms and away from him, ridding my face of tears. 

He opened his mouth, but closed it a second later. “How come you saved me? How come you didn't let me grant you your wish? I could be with my Mum and Dad now if you would have left me alone." I was getting mad again.

“I don't know," he shrugged. He doesn't know.

“Just leave me be Harry," I stated. “I was fine when you were hating every fiber of my being, I don't need you pretending to care and then turning around and telling all your friends about me trying to jump off a bridge and kill myself."

“Ana, wait--"

I stopped him. “Don't call me that like you know me...because you don't and you never will. I don't even want to know you. I don't even want to be near you. So just leave," I said, looking him dead in the eyes. Even in the dark I could see his eyes shining in the moon. “And forget about me. Just like everyone else."