All Grown Up

When people said they couldn't stand their families, I wanted to hit them. I wanted to look them in the eye and tell them to never say that and never take their families for granted because you don't know what could happen in seconds, minutes, hours, days. The last thing I said to my parents was that I hated them for making me go back to school. Those were the last words I spoke to them before they died. I was a horrible daughter. No matter what anyone said, in my eyes I was a horrible daughter and didn't deserve anything. That was one of the things I regretted most in my life. And I could never take it back. Like I said, you never know what's going to happen in the future, so don't say permanent things in the heat of moment just because you're temporarily upset. You can't always take back what you do or say.

Being the only person left in my family made me feel alone. Like I was in a huge body of water with nothing and no one around for kilometers and kilometers. I was completely and utterly alone in this world. I didn't have a mother and father. I didn't have grandparents. I didn't have siblings. I didn't have anyone. It was just me. This pain; this empty feeling, I would never wish this on my worst enemy.

"Hey Ana!" Looking up from my textbook, I saw a classmate that goes by the name of Cashe. He was your stereotypical uni student with his perfectly messy hair, his somewhat tight jeans that had a slight sag to them in the bum area, some plainly obvious worn out Vans, a flimsy black vneck, and a black button up left open. He was an acquaintance. Nothing more. Well, now he was more. Our professor assigned us as study partners. I was overjoyed if you couldn't tell.

I grinned the best fake grin I could muster. "Hey Cashe. You alright?"

He nodded, then ran a hand through his hair as if trying to tame it. It only made it worse. "Yeah, thanks. So this whole study group thing. Do you want to do it at mine or yours?"

I shrugged, standing up and collecting my stuff. "Mine is fine. My roommate has to work overnight and is going to her new boyfriends, so yeah."

"Sweet," he said. "Give me your address and I'll be there around, say sixish?"

I jotted down my address on a piece of scrap notebook paper and said, "Sounds good. See you then."

As fast as I could, I got out of that classroom and out of the crowded building. Now off to work.


I had bothered to change for work, so I stayed in my uni clothes. I did put on a pair of yoga shorts on under my skirth though. Didn't want to flash anyone. When I got back home, I traded my heels for slippers and spread my textbooks out on the big coffee table. Now if Cashe would just get here.

"Ana!" Speak of the devil. "It's open!" I hollered back. The door opened and closed and he found his way into the living room. "You got a nice place, Ana. You got rich parents or something?"

I shrugged. "Something like that."

He dropped his phone in the recliner and dropped down on the floor beside me. "Oh bollocks! I forgot my bag in my car. I'll be right back," he said, standing up. I nodded and leaned back against the couch.

I had gotten a few texts and calls from Harry and Niall, but hadn't had time to answer. Going straight from uni to work and then straight from work to home to study with no break in between. I was pretty busy these last few days. Not only with that but with the baggage that came along with famous people. That baggage goes by the name of paparazzi. They had somehow spotted Harry picking me up from Mcdonalds the other night and had now taken to stalking me. At first I didn't notice it, but when Lilly pointed it out yesterday when we were out at lunch, I noticed it all the time now.

I hadn't had the heart to answer Harry or Niall's calls. I knew how the paparazzi worked. I knew how the gossip sites worked. I knew how fans worked. I knew how they degrated people. I couldn't go through all that again. Last time, I tried to commit suicide. And all because of Harry. And once again, this all came back to Harry. The paparazzi was getting under my skin. Nothing good comes out of that.

The door opened and closed again, but I didn't look up. "How do you forget your bookbag?" I laughed. "That thing is massive, Cashe!"

"Who's Cashe?" I jumped, and possibly yelped. Holy balls. "Bloody hell! You scared the shit out of me!"

It was Harry. What was he doing here? And why did he have take away? "What're you doing here?" I questioned, calming my erratically beating heart.

He just stared at me. "Who's Cashe?"

Sighing, I pushed my hair away from my face. "My study partner. We're studying for a test we have at the end of the week. Why are you here with take away?"

"Me and Niall wanted to surprise you with take away and films," he explained. "We know you've been stressing about everything and figured you needed to relax."

"You—" Cashe came barreling in my flat. "I got it! We can start studying now!"

Harry had set the take away on the end table by the couch and was now giving Cashe the stare down. Before either of them could say anything, the door opened and closed again. This time it was my loud Irish friend. "Stasia, where are you?! I've missed—" He stopped shouting when he stepped in the living room to see my situation. "What's going on?" He asked slowly.

Great. Harry now officially looks jealous. Jealous Harry isn't good. Anything but happy Harry isn't good. "Cashe is my study partner and we're studying for a test we have at the end of the week. He was down getting his bag when Harry came in and... yeah," I explained in one breath.

Cashe finally moved around Harry and to his previous spot beside me on the floor. I guess I should introduce them. While Cashe riffled through his black hole of a bag and pulled out his textbook and notebook, I introduced them.

"Um, Cashe these are my good mates Harry and Niall. Guys, this is Cashe. He's in one of my classes at uni."

Cashe flashed them a smile showing off his perfectly white teeth. "Nice to meet yeh."

Niall had made himself comfortable on the recliner with his take away while Harry had made himself comfortable on the free spot of the couch by me with his take away. He set my take away and drink on the coffee table by me before he started digging in to his.

"Nice to meet yeh, mate. What're you majoring in?" Niall asked.

Cashe grinned. He loved talking about this. "Same as Ana. I want to be an ER nurse and deal with all the bones sticking out and huge, bloody gashes."

"Sounds like fun," Niall joked. Harry scoffed under his breath. I elbowed his leg and shot him a look over his shoulder. 'Say something to him' I mouthed to Harry. He rolled his eyes making me elbow him again. "Nice to meet you, Cashe," he grumbled.

"You too," Cashe replied. "Shall we get started, m'lady?"

I chuckled. "We shall."


"Dude!" I exclaimed. "You ate all my lemon chicken!"

Cashe smirked. "Shouldn't have offered to share."

"Arse," I mumbled. I flipped him off and slammed my textbook shut. Niall was now eating ice cream and Harry was brooding on the couch while a random film played on Netflix.

"Well," Cashe started. "I better get going. It was nice meeting you guys. See yeh later. Bye Ana."

"Bye Cashe!" I hugged him and pecked his cheek. Niall tossed a wave over his shoulder with a muffled goodbye and Harry didn't say anything. What is up with him? As soon as the door shut behind him, I plopped down beside Harry and elbowed him. "What is up with you? You completely ignored him."

He rolled his eyes. "Shall we get started, m'lady?" He spoke in what I assumed to be Cashe's voice. I glared at him. "So what if I ignored him? You ignored me and Niall."

I scoffed. "Like I said, I had to study for a test. I think studying for a test and passing my classes and getting that much closer to finishing my degree, is a little more important then talking to you. Would you give up going to the studio or doing a concert to sit and talk with me?"

His eyes turned hard. "That's not the same thing," he spoke.

"It kind of is," Niall piped up.

"Shut up Niall," we spoke in unison. He closed his mouth and watched us with raised eyebrows. I really wanted to reach out and slap the curly haired git. Pushing up the sleeves of my sweater, I scoffed once again and shook my head. "It is the same thing. You just don't get it. My dream is to become a nurse and help save peoples lives. For me to fulfill my dream, I have to go to uni and study for tests. For you to fulfill your dream, you had to practice day and night, singing your heart out and in doing that, you made it on the XFactor. You stopped going to school and even if you didn't win, you ended up making it big. You fulfilled your dream. Now let me fulfill mine."

He was left speechless. Good. He needed to be put in his place. A piece of hair fell from my ear and my hand automatically went up to push it behind my ear.

"What is that?" His whole demeanor changed. He went from rigid and angry, to curious and frantic? I followed his eyes down to my wrists. Shit. I was in such a hurry this morning that I forgot to put cover up on my scars. The sleeves on my sweater were long enough that I figured it would be okay.

"Nothing," I said quickly, pulling my sleeves down. "I think you need to leave."

"Ana—"

"You need to leave."

"Ana—"

"GO!"