All Grown Up

"Well Miss Foster," the doctor spoke. "I think you're all good to go."

I almost jumped off the exam table and hugged the life out of that man. Those bloody casts were finally off. I was free to do as I pleased. A massive grin appeared on my face. "Thats the best news I've heard in a while," I spoke. "Thank you."

"All I ask is that you take it easy for a week. You should be back to normal just in time for Halloween."

A few more minutes of instructions and setting up a follow-up appointment, and I was free to go. I slowly made my way out to the waiting room to be met with Ian hiding behind a trashy gossip magazine. He looked into the magazine which prompted me to halt in front of him and loudly clear my throat.

"Anything interesting?"

He jumped at my sudden appearance and practically tossed the magazine across the room. My eyebrows immediately shot up. "What's in it that had you off in your own world?"

"Oh, nothing," he rushed. "Same shit, different day. Come on, let's go. We need Fro-yo!"


Anastasia Foster @AnastasiaBaby
Fro-yo with my bro-yo @Ian_King

Ian King @Ian_King
Fro-yo with my hoe-yo @AnastasiaBaby

Anastasia Foster @AnastasiaBaby
I take offense to that @Ian_King

Niall Horan @NiallOfficial
Save me some froooo-yoooo! @AnastasiaBaby @Ian_King

Niall Horan @NiallOfficial
By the way @AnastasiaBaby I have our coordinating Halloween costumes picked out

Anastasia Foster @AnastasiaBaby
@NiallOfficial I'm not coordinating costumes with you. I refuse.

Ian let out a chuckle. I sent him a questioning look, to which he shook his head. "That Niall is something else."

"And why do you say that?"

He shook his head with a grin. "I'm starting to think he has a thing for you."

That emitted a loud laugh from me. "Niall is like my brother," I stated. "He doesn't have the hots for me, Ian."

"Good, 'cause if he did, I'd have to have a talk with him."

Ian had taken on the role of my protector, more so over the past few months. Normally it would've gotten on my last nerve, but I embraced it with open arms. He was the only person who was here twenty four seven and knew everything. He was the only one who I fully trusted. Lily didn't know anything. And she wouldn't. Ian was my go-to man. There would never be a time when I didn't go to him with my problems.

"I can handle myself," I spoke, spooning some kiwi fro-yo in my mouth. "I know you can, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm protective like a mother bear."

An unattractive snort caused me to turn bright red and hide my face as best I could behind my small container of yogurt. Ian smirked and snapped a quick photo on his phone. The git. I flipped him off which in turn made him snap another one. Asshat.

"Quit taking my photo," I whined. A pout set itself on my face. And he took another one. "I'll leave. I'm not joking either."

He held his hands up. "Fine, fine. I'll quit."

He went back to eating his yogurt. The yogurt to candy ratio was completely off. He had more candy then yogurt. It was outrageous. The amount of GummyBears was enough to give me a toothache. I took a few more bites of mine before my phone vibrated against the brightly colored tabletop. Niall's face popped up on the screen making Ian smirk. "Speak of the devil," he mumbled.

"I'm not coordinating costumes with you." I didn't even bother to give him a hello. He was incessant about the subject ever since October got here. And I wasn't giving in. Coordinating Halloween costumes were cheesy and cliche and horrid. And plus, I didn't fancy the holiday to begin with. If it even could be considered a holiday. I mean, you hardly see anyone out trick-or-treating anymore. It's mostly older people who dress up and go out. I'm more of a Christmas kind of gal. All the lights and trees and decorations and snow.

"But—but, why?" Niall whined. A faint thud met my ears which made me roll my eyes. He was stomping his foot like a bloody toddler. Adult my ass. "Because they're awful. And we aren't even a couple, so why would be match?"

"'Cause you're me best mate and I want us to match."

His voice sounded so sad and pathetic. And the fact that I can picture him with that damn pout on his face and those sad droopy puppy dog eyes, was enough for me, and Ian, to realize that I was going to give in. And I did. I caved. I gave the Irishman what he wanted. I was not a crusher of dreams.

"I'm not going as some dumb cliche thing," I stated. "I'm thinking of going as Zoe from AHS Coven. You can be Kyle."

"I actually already got our costumes picked out. It should be at your flat right about now."

The urge to slap him was strong. But I settled for aiming my glare at Ian, who just smirked at me. I let out a sigh. "We better not be that cliche peanut butter and jelly shit. I'll personally kill you."

"We aren't. Love yeh, bye!" He hung up before I could say my goodbye. With my phone now set back on the table, I spooned a massive amount of yogurt in my mouth. "I hate my life."


I felt like I needed to be playing Smooth Criminal right now. In all honesty, I had been humming it ever since I put the costume on. Hell, even before then. As soon as I got home last week and opened the big gift box and saw the striped shirt and bandit mask, I hadn't been able to quit singing it. I'd catch myself humming it on the way to class or when I was cooking dinner or when I was sitting in traffic. It was quite annoying to be honest. I tried listening to other music to get it off my mind, but it didn't work. Smooth Criminal was always on my mind, and I hated it.

"I don't understand why I had to wear a bloody crop top," I grumbled. Ian chuckled. "I stand by my previous statement," he said.

I don't know how many times I'll have to tell him. "He doesn't have the hots for me. Now, are you coming in with me?"

He shook his head making me frown. "I have prior engagements." My eyebrows shot up. Does he have a date? "Cousins are in town so we're going out tonight."

Well then. That doesn't sound as fun as having a date would. I nodded and told him to give me a ring if they could get into any clubs and then I was off. The line surrounding Funky Buddah was outrageously long. Niall was already inside, so I text him and told him I had arrived. He text back almost immediately.



I told the security guy my name and once he made sure I was in fact on the list, he let me go on through. The music was pulsing and vibrating the floors. It made me want to get out there on the dance floor and start dancing, but I held in the urge and made my way to the bar. "Can I get a—" I stopped myself. They had a list of Halloween themed drinks and I had no clue what to get. "Yeh know what, just surprise me."

The bartender who was dressed like Tom Cruise from Risky Business, nodded and got to mixing a drink. His really tight boxer briefs didn't leave anything to the imagination. Not that I minded. He was very nice to look at. He slid a cup filled with a black liquid. He smirked at the look on my face.

"It's called 'Alice in Nightmareland'." I hesitantly took a sip. It burned going down, and I tried my hardest to not make a sour face, but I failed. "Oh dear lord, what is in that?"

"Curaçao, Jäger, and Kahlua." I took another sip as I handed him a five pound note. "Bloody hell," I wheezed. "Thank you."

He chuckled. "Keep it. It's on me." I gave him a small grin as a thank you and stuffed the money back in my bra. There was no way I was carrying a purse and this fake money bag, and seeing as I had no pockets in my leggings, my bra was the next best thing. My phone was put in there too. I can just imagine people seeing me with Niall and taking pictures of me reaching down my shirt to get stuff. I'll end up on Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr. My eyes scanned the dance floor as I shuffled through the throngs of people. In the amount of time it took me to get a few feet, I had managed to see two VMA Miley Cyrus', four Batmans, a handful of Arsenal players, and one VMA Robin Thicke. And one Niall Horan.

"STASIA!" He exclaimed. His long arms wrapped around my neck as he buried his face in my hair. "I MISSED YOU!"

"Missed you too, Nialler." Before I could get anything else out, he was dragging me off of the dance floor and up a set of stairs to what I assumed was the VIP section. When we reached the top he felt the need to practically scream an announcement that I had arrived. "My partner in crime has arrived!" He shouted, then let out a drunk giggle. "Watch your wallets ladies and gents! Stasia and I are on the prowl!"

Oh my god. Hide me now. Why did I have to befriend him? And how is he already drunk? A few people around us gave me a greeting to which I returned. I recognized a few people such as Alexa Chung, Pixie Lott, Nick Grimshaw, Zayn and Perrie, and Liam and Sophia. Louis and Eleanor were nowhere to be found. Neither was Harry, not that I wanted to see him or anything.

"Can you take our picture?" I asked Perrie. She nodded, taking my phone as I wrapped an arm around Niall. We posed a few different ways before we decided that was enough. I took my phone with a thank you and stuffed it back in my bra. "Classy," Niall commented. I flipped him the bird.

"Classy is my middle name."


It didn't matter that there was a dodgy remix of Michael Jacksons Thriller playing or that there were a million sweaty people grinding on me. It didn't matter that the air smelt of sex and alcohol or that I had lost Niall an hour ago. I was having fun for the first time in a long time. And that was all that mattered.

My mind was a drunken mess. My speech was slurred. I was sweating out the alcohol as soon as I put it into my body. My drinks were on a never ending supply. The bartender from earlier had since gotten off and kept me company for a majority of the night. As of right now, we were headed to the VIP area that overlooked everyone on the bottom floor. My hand was wrapped in the bartenders large hand as he followed me like a lost puppy.

"Stasia, where'd you run off to?" Niall shouted. He was sitting on the couch by the one and only Gemma Styles. I let out a gasp and yanked bartender guy behind me. "Gemma!" I attacked her in a hug. "I haven't seen you in ages! What're you doing here? Did Niall invite you?"

She chuckled. "Hi Ana! I came with Harry actually. He's around here somewhere. He didn't tell me you were going to be here."

At the mention of Harry, my mind stopped spinning and my heart slowed down. I was sobering up at the mention of his damn name. Why did he have this effect on me? Why did I let him have that effect on me?

"Have you met bartender guy?" I asked, doing nothing to hide the fact that I changed the subject. "Bartender guy, this is Niall and Gemma. I used to date her brother, Harry."

"I'm Oli—"

"Woah, wait, what?" Gemma cut him off. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was ajar. "Used to date my brother? You and Harry dated?"

Now it was my turn to look like a deer in headlights. Oh bollocks. Me and my big mouth and my drunk mind. Instead of staying and endurring the third degree, I ran. I muttered something along the lines of having to use the loo and ran. I ran straight through all the sweaty bodies and outside. I grabbed my phone out of my bra and dialed Ian. It went straight to voicemail, so I called the next best thing. Preston.

"Miss Ana, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

After the movie premiere, I had taken a liking to Preston. He reminded me of my dad. So I got his number from Niall and whenever they weren't on tour and everyone else was either too drunk or busy to come pick my drunk self up, I would call him. He took it like a champ and always refused to let me pay him back. Dealing with my drunk self was a feat in itself. I had plans to send him a big gift basket full of random goodies.

"Can you come get me?" I questioned. "I'm at Funky Buddah."

"I'm actually already on my way," he replied. "I'm a few minutes out."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I owe you."

His deep chuckle met my ears. "Don't worry about it, love. Now you stay put. I'll be there shortly."

It took him all of three minutes to arrive and when he did, I all but ran and dove into the car. I buckled my seatbelt and went to ask why he wasn't leaving yet, when I heard shouts and gasps come from outside the car. My dazed eyes scanned the crowd outside the car and club and took notice to a bare chested man making his way through it. The flashes from the cameras gave me glimpses of who was making their way through the crowd and my heart stopped.

"Why is he—" I stopped myself. "I can't—I need to get out." The back door was opened and shut before I could blink. The locks clicked as the car zipped out into traffic. My heart sped up as my hands started sweating. "Let me out, Preston."

He ignored me. Harry who was well on his way to being drunk, was sitting in the backseat and just now noticing I was in the car.

"Preston, let me out!" I shouted, yanking on the door handle. "Let me out, God dammit!"

He shook his head. "I'm not letting you out. You lot need to work through whatever shit you've got going on. I'll drop you off at Harry's and you can work it all out."

I gave up on trying to open the door and settled for glowering out the window. "I have nothing to say to him."

"Well I have something to say to you," Harry piped up. No one spoke the rest of the car ride home. It was a very awkward thirty minutes. But as Preston had said, he dropped us both off at Harry's and didn't leave until both of us were inside the massive house. Harry locked the door and turned to me, starting to speak. I stopped him. "I can't take you seriously in that costume."

He was dressed like Miley Cyrus at the 2013 VMAs. All he had on was a pair of nude colored spanx and a foam finger. His hair was up in two buns on top of his head. If I wasn't so mad at him I would've laughed and taken a picture. He rolled his eyes and headed up the set of stairs to his bedroom. I shed my beanie and bandit mask, setting them on the hall table along with my fake money bag.









"Can you just let me explain?" I jumped at the sound of his voice. "And not interrupt me?"

"Fine." I followed him into the living room where he sat on one end of the couch and I sat on the other. Would now be an inappropriate time to tweet #awkwardduck?

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I really am."

There's only so much a sorry can do, and right now I don't think it can do much. I wanted to tell him that, but I promised not to interrupt him.

"I get that what I was doing wasn't fair to you. I didn't realize it then, but I do now. You were a part of the relationship just as much as I was. But in my mind, I was protecting you," he spoke. "The paps and fans can be cruel. I've witnessed it and live through it and so has Perrie and El and Sophia. The strain it puts on their relationships is a hard one to get past. I've lost count how many times they've all almost broken up.

And I get that it would be just us in a relationship, but in another sense it wouldn't. My life, as much as I don't like it to be, is mostly public. Nothing I do goes unnoticed and that would mean even something as simple as buying coffee would be plastered on every gossip site around. Knowing what you went through in school makes me realize that even the smallest thing they say could set you off. I care about you too much to let some stupid paparazzi cause you any sort of pain."

Oh, but he could cause me pain? I wasn't stupid. I didn't fall off the face of the earth since my crash. I didn't give up social media or magazines. I saw him out and about with Kendall Jenner in Los Angeles. Going to clubs. Parties. Out to eat. Shopping. All that good stuff couples did. But here he was saying that he cared about me and didn't want me to in any sort of pain. What he didn't know, was that him going out and being photographed with her was hurting me. I wouldn't admit that to anyone, not even Ian. My pain was my problem and the only person who could fix it was me.

"People are going to talk, whether you're doing bad or good," I started. "Worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. Worrying about stuff you can't control is a waste of time. Good and bad things will happen in life. You just have to keep living and not stress over what you can't control." I paused to look down at my hands.

Might as well just say it now.

"And nothing I do can control that feelings I have for you. I can't—I like you. I like you more then I should, to be honest. But seeing you in photos with Kendall Jenner out and about; that broke my heart. I'd be sitting in bed watching the telly and I'd see something that reminded me of you and I'd think 'Shit, I thought about him again'. Nothing I did could make me quit thinking about you."

I wanted to say something else, but he didn't give me the chance.

"Do you how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone?" My eyebrows knit together. "My brain, it keeps—it's like 'maybe you love her?' I don't know what love feels like or if love is even possible."

Love? L O V E. Love. Amour. Liebe. Amare. Love?

He ran a shaky hand through his long hair. His hand stopped at the nape of his neck and gripped the curled ends of his hair. My mind was still stuck on that small four letter word. Love. Bloody love. Jesus Christ.

"I think—I think of you at two a.m. when I can't sleep and I wish you were there so I could hold you," he spoke up, looking at me with his emerald eyes. "And I think that's...I think that's what love is. When you can't think of anything but one single person and you would go to the ends of the earth for that person; that's what love is. And I think I love you, Ana."