Pandemonium

My heart grew lighter as I fought to hold on to the remaining shards I had of Kyo. No longer would I feel the beating of his heart or the flare of embarrassment on his cheeks. I wouldn’t feel him tugging at my own heart from a distance. I couldn’t sense the compassion, hope, or longing he felt. I watched as the tattoo on my wrist faded away. And I cried as I realized our bond had been severed. He was gone…

Today, it will have been a year that has passed. It’s been a strange year. Painful, yet hopeful. At first, I questioned if I could move on. I struggled to find a reason to even get out of bed every morning. Die worried about me, in fact, he’d been assigned as my guardian angel. He brought light to my life, but I still felt hollow.

So, I started writing. I wrote about the adventures I shared with Die and Kyo. I wrote of friendship, love, loss, longing, etc. I turned our lives into a story. I figured claiming it to be an autobiography wouldn’t go over well. I’m in the process of publishing it actually.

Writing helped me a lot. It was my reason for existence. I couldn’t quite put Kyo into words, but I did the best I could. It was enough for me. If I lost my memories again, I would at least have this.

Die actually considered erasing my memories again, but I insisted he didn’t. I wanted Kyo to remain as alive as he could in my mind. Sure, I wouldn’t feel the pain I do most days, but I’d rather be in pain and know it was all real. What I felt for Kyo…it was real. I only wish I could have told him.

“I love you…” I mutter to myself, glancing at the ink blot on my skin. I’d gotten Kyo’s mark tattooed on my wrist. I didn’t feel quite right without it. How I longed for it to twist and turn with amusement as it so often had.

“Awe, I love you too little lady.” Die’s joyful voice rings in my ears, making me jump and nearly drop the groceries I was carrying. He laughs outwardly as he drops to the ground beside me, holding his belly in amusement.

“Die! You scared me! How many times have I told you not to do that?!” I huff, furrowing my brows. He continues to chuckle, merely shaking his head.

“I’m sorry…it’s just so easy!” He teases. I roll my eyes, gripping the bags in my hands tighter.

“You’re just lucky you didn’t make me drop my groceries again! I’d make sure to hit you where it hurts!” I threaten as he quickly covers his crotch.

“No way! I need those!” He blubbers, stepping several feet away from me. Again, I roll my eyes. “Oh! I didn’t tell you the news, did I?!” He asks quickly, a grin spreading across his features.

“What?” I question.

“She said yes!” He beams.

“When you asked her out?! Dammit now I owe you $50!” I sigh.

“You sure do! See, no one can resist my charm!” he teases.

“So how much did you have to pay her to go out with you?” I joke. He only glares, making me laugh for a change. “A lot, I’m guessing.” I wink.

“Just for that, maybe I won’t give you your present.” He bargains.

“What? A present? Why?!” I hate surprises.

“I’ve never heard anyone more upset about receiving a gift.” He teases, “Besides, it’s a secret. You’ll have to find out for yourself.” He smirks, making me groan in defeat.

“I hate you.” I complain as he spreads his wings to fly off.

“You won’t in a minute!” He shouts, kicking off from the ground and disappearing into the sky. I shake my head, turning the corner where my home comes into view. I notice a figure crouched on the front porch and feel my heart leap with anxiety. I wasn’t expecting company.

The figure stood, slowly walking toward me. My heart thrummed uneasily, that is, until his small, slender frame took shape. The familiar contours of his body carried me toward him faster, grocery bags smacking off my body.

The sight of his familiar, round face and wispy black hair forced the bags out of my hands as I was now sprinting. Fruits and vegetables bounced on the concrete, but I paid them no mind. His dark, almond eyes shone brightly as he extended bare, un-inked arms toward me. His full lips turned into that twisted grin I’d grown so accustomed to.

I could feel tears slipping down my face as I leapt into his embrace. There were no crimson flecks in his eyes, nor was he covered in twisting tattoos. The hazy smog usually accompanying him was absent. But despite all that, I recognized at once it was him.

He gripped my body to his tightly, spinning me in the street.

“I love you too, Ai.” Kyo whispered, his lips tenderly pressing to mine.