This Lie I Can't Pretend

I cant

He pressed his lips hard against mine, i cried as his hands traveled up my dress and grazed my thighs.
"Please don't." I cried softly as he pulled away for breath.
"Why not little lover girl?" He teased Kissing my jawline and removing his pants.
"If- if you love me you wont." I said, my voice cracking and a shudder escaped my lips.
"Oh I do love you, it is you who must learn to love me." He pulled my panties off and straddled me.
"I know why you really don't want me to, it is because I am not Ben" He growled and thrust into me violently. I let out a scream of pain. No matter how much i cried or screamed, he just kept going until he was through.
After a half hour of my pain and his pleasure, he pulled out an kissed me again. I felt sick and so dirty. His lips were to my ear.
"If your a good girl, next time you'll enjoy it." He whispered with a smile With that he left me weeping on the bed, he put on only his boxers and went out the door, not before filling me in on what he planned to do to Ben.
"Your little lover boy wont try anything wile I can see, what you just got, he'll get tenfold."I just cried more, trying to drown out the sounds of Ben's screams. Nothing could make it fade, I tried to sleep, but the thought of the pain i had caused him haunted me.
"I'm a monster, I don't deserve to live. In a matter of days I've caused so much pain, so much heartache."

I went into my bathroom, there was nothing. No mirror, medicine no nothing, there was a sink a shower and a toilet.
I looked inside the shower. A rag and a bar of soap, There wasn't even a fucking toothbrush.
"Fuck it." I striped down and turned the water on to the hottest I could handle and climbed in, the water made my skin burn, but I didn't care, i grabbed the rag and cleaned everywhere, I scrubbed at the skin until almost every inch of my body was red or bleeding. That is when the hot water was too unbearable. I let out a soft scream and climbed out, a single white towel laid on a silver towel rack glued to the wall.
What is this place, a mental institution? I thought. I looked down at the towel around my waist, it was soaked with my blood.
My mind went on a buzz, i got dizzy I couldn't focus, I lost my balance and I stumbled out of the bathroom and onto my bed, I bit my lip when I fell onto the covers, piercing the skin with my extended fangs.
"Help, someone?" I groaned, everything went all white and I fell to sleep, a deep sleep.

"Mia? Wake up." Ben's tear stained face came into perception. He was holding my head and pouring some sweet thick liquid into my mouth.
"Mmm." I swallowed and groaned. His pain filled eyes smiled and he hugged me, whispering in my ear.
"I'm so happy you're okay." He sounded so said, then i remembered why I had passed out.
I sat up slowly, hugging him back.
"I'm sorry. I lo- hope you can forgive me." I made a save as Gerard stormed in.
"Gee before you do anything listen... my love, I passed out and he gave me some... blood, I was just thanking him." I stood up and wrapped on leg around his waist pressing myself against him closely.
"Then why is your skin so wet and red, and why are you not wearing any clothes" He smirked evilly. Running his finger down my side. A soft shudder came from my lips.
"I was in the shower, and the water was too hot. But i tried to make it cooler, but it was too cold." I shivered, a breeze came in through an open window.
"And the blood stained towel?" His hands now dangerously close to breaking my present comfort zone.
"Some of my skin peeled and bled, most of that is because I spat out the blood." His other hand came to my cheek, not striking me though. I leaned into the touch and he let it drift down my body. I shuddered in fear, he thought it was in ecstasy.
I was scared for my life, but mostly Ben's. I Kissed his softly and awaited the sentencing.