Just Think Happy Thoughts
Ch. 12: Catching Up
“What are you waiting for, Toro, a written invitation? Gimme a hug, you son of a bitch!” Marty flung himself loosely around his friend’s torso in greeting. “It’s been too long, man, way too fucking long. Shit, the last time I saw you was at…” He trailed off as he let go, not sure how awkward finishing the sentence would make things.
“At Mom’s funeral, yeah,” Manny smiled bravely. “I’m comfortable talking about it now, so don’t worry. It’s been long enough that I’ve got closure about the whole thing.”
“I’m happy for you, dude. I know it was a hard time for you. And really, it’s fucking great to see you, are you here alone or-DANNY!” With that, Marty started throwing himself around the group to dispense more hugs. “Welcome back to the Windy City, Bryar. Rosie, Melody, lovely as always…”
His grin widened as he got to Elena, taking hold of her hands. “Elena…my heart…my dream…my little morsel…” Marty placed small kisses on her fingers between pet names. “Y’know, my proposal still stands, my princess…”
“Martin,” Elena blushed, giggling gently. “My answer is the same one I’ve given you since we were six: I am by far too young for marriage.”
“Oh, but someday you’ll be ready, and I shall sweep you off those precious little feet of yours, my delicate black-tinged rose…”
Frowning slightly and trying to loosen the knot of tension that had just formed in his shoulders, Tony cleared his throat. “Still a charmer, I see, Stump.”
“Best in the business, Iero,” Marty winked cheekily. “You’re looking at a kid who negotiated his Fueled by Ramen summer internship into a scouting position at the age of 14.”
“You’re scouting bands?!”
“Well, yeah, someone’s gotta do it. Uncle Gabe just hasn’t been up to it since that freak mechanical bull accident. He still sets off metal detectors with that plate in his hip.”
“So they just handed the merry task over to a preteen?”
“Oooo, hostile, RoRo. How long has that stick been up your ass now?” Marty rolled his eyes gleefully. “OK you never answered my question, what are you guys doing in Chi-town?”
“We’re roadtripping to LilaAnne’s sweet sixteen party.”
“Ah, yes, that business. The whole Stump family unit is supposed to fly out there on Thursday. Dad’s less than enthused, he hasn’t spoken face-to-face with Uncle Pete since…well, the ‘messiness,’ as he puts it. Say’s he’s out of practice with the old songs, but I know better. I know for a fact that he plays ‘I’m Like A Lawyer…’ once a week.”
“You’ve kept in touch with Lila?”
“Eh, more or less. She used to come and visit now and then, but she can’t tear herself away from that animal shelter to see her beloved Cousin Marty anymore. Last time she was in town, she had fleas. FLEAS! We had to spray down all the furniture to get rid of the little suckers.”
“So she really has turned into LilaAnne, Patron Saint of Strays, then?”
“Oh yeah, it’s fucking weird. One day she’s using me as a punching bag, the next she’s hugging me and asking me to forgive her for all the rotten things she used to do to me. Makes me almost feel bad about the time we covered that teddy bear of hers in green finger paint, you remember that?”
Manny giggled evilly. “How could I forget?! It was WORTH the black eye! So, what are you up to tonight, then?”
“I’m on the job, bra. There’s this band playing at the Progressive downtown that I’ve been assigned to check out. It’s fronted by some Bulgarian exchange student named Gregori, and the scene kids are just creaming themselves over them. Hey, wait, I’ve got an idea,” Marty smiled brightly. “You guys should come with! You’ve got plenty of time to get to L.A. by Friday, stay here for the night!”
“You think it would be cool with your parents?”
“Of course. Dad’s still in Philly on business, and I don’t know WHERE the fuck Mom is, so I’m assuming they wouldn’t care. Lemme just call up the housekeeper and have her get the extra rooms ready.”
He quickly flipped his cell phone open and walked a few aisles over. The others, of course, listened in. “Hey, Audrey. Yeah, I’m on my way now. Yeah, but listen, I have a small request. I just ran into some old friends, and they need a place to stay for the night. ...no, I didn’t want to bother Dad with it. ...Look, just get the guest rooms ready, please? ...yes, I’ll take out the garbage when I get home, OK? Just please do this for me? ...thank you.”
Marty slammed the phone shut with a huff. “It’s impossible to find good help these days. When will that woman learn that she’s not my mom? Then again, she’s been fucking my dad for so long, I can see where the confusion might arise.”
Rosie stood aghast. “Your dad’s been boning your maid?”
“Yeah. Tragic, ain’t it? Oh well, off to the club! Do you guys mind if we just take your van?”
“But only you know where we’re going. Why don’t you take your car?”
“Well, here’s the thing…I kinda don’t have one.”
“You don’t have a car? Then how’d you get here?”
“…I rode my bike.”
“Your bike?!”
“I’m saving up for a BMW, OK? I have high standards! Now let’s go.”
“At Mom’s funeral, yeah,” Manny smiled bravely. “I’m comfortable talking about it now, so don’t worry. It’s been long enough that I’ve got closure about the whole thing.”
“I’m happy for you, dude. I know it was a hard time for you. And really, it’s fucking great to see you, are you here alone or-DANNY!” With that, Marty started throwing himself around the group to dispense more hugs. “Welcome back to the Windy City, Bryar. Rosie, Melody, lovely as always…”
His grin widened as he got to Elena, taking hold of her hands. “Elena…my heart…my dream…my little morsel…” Marty placed small kisses on her fingers between pet names. “Y’know, my proposal still stands, my princess…”
“Martin,” Elena blushed, giggling gently. “My answer is the same one I’ve given you since we were six: I am by far too young for marriage.”
“Oh, but someday you’ll be ready, and I shall sweep you off those precious little feet of yours, my delicate black-tinged rose…”
Frowning slightly and trying to loosen the knot of tension that had just formed in his shoulders, Tony cleared his throat. “Still a charmer, I see, Stump.”
“Best in the business, Iero,” Marty winked cheekily. “You’re looking at a kid who negotiated his Fueled by Ramen summer internship into a scouting position at the age of 14.”
“You’re scouting bands?!”
“Well, yeah, someone’s gotta do it. Uncle Gabe just hasn’t been up to it since that freak mechanical bull accident. He still sets off metal detectors with that plate in his hip.”
“So they just handed the merry task over to a preteen?”
“Oooo, hostile, RoRo. How long has that stick been up your ass now?” Marty rolled his eyes gleefully. “OK you never answered my question, what are you guys doing in Chi-town?”
“We’re roadtripping to LilaAnne’s sweet sixteen party.”
“Ah, yes, that business. The whole Stump family unit is supposed to fly out there on Thursday. Dad’s less than enthused, he hasn’t spoken face-to-face with Uncle Pete since…well, the ‘messiness,’ as he puts it. Say’s he’s out of practice with the old songs, but I know better. I know for a fact that he plays ‘I’m Like A Lawyer…’ once a week.”
“You’ve kept in touch with Lila?”
“Eh, more or less. She used to come and visit now and then, but she can’t tear herself away from that animal shelter to see her beloved Cousin Marty anymore. Last time she was in town, she had fleas. FLEAS! We had to spray down all the furniture to get rid of the little suckers.”
“So she really has turned into LilaAnne, Patron Saint of Strays, then?”
“Oh yeah, it’s fucking weird. One day she’s using me as a punching bag, the next she’s hugging me and asking me to forgive her for all the rotten things she used to do to me. Makes me almost feel bad about the time we covered that teddy bear of hers in green finger paint, you remember that?”
Manny giggled evilly. “How could I forget?! It was WORTH the black eye! So, what are you up to tonight, then?”
“I’m on the job, bra. There’s this band playing at the Progressive downtown that I’ve been assigned to check out. It’s fronted by some Bulgarian exchange student named Gregori, and the scene kids are just creaming themselves over them. Hey, wait, I’ve got an idea,” Marty smiled brightly. “You guys should come with! You’ve got plenty of time to get to L.A. by Friday, stay here for the night!”
“You think it would be cool with your parents?”
“Of course. Dad’s still in Philly on business, and I don’t know WHERE the fuck Mom is, so I’m assuming they wouldn’t care. Lemme just call up the housekeeper and have her get the extra rooms ready.”
He quickly flipped his cell phone open and walked a few aisles over. The others, of course, listened in. “Hey, Audrey. Yeah, I’m on my way now. Yeah, but listen, I have a small request. I just ran into some old friends, and they need a place to stay for the night. ...no, I didn’t want to bother Dad with it. ...Look, just get the guest rooms ready, please? ...yes, I’ll take out the garbage when I get home, OK? Just please do this for me? ...thank you.”
Marty slammed the phone shut with a huff. “It’s impossible to find good help these days. When will that woman learn that she’s not my mom? Then again, she’s been fucking my dad for so long, I can see where the confusion might arise.”
Rosie stood aghast. “Your dad’s been boning your maid?”
“Yeah. Tragic, ain’t it? Oh well, off to the club! Do you guys mind if we just take your van?”
“But only you know where we’re going. Why don’t you take your car?”
“Well, here’s the thing…I kinda don’t have one.”
“You don’t have a car? Then how’d you get here?”
“…I rode my bike.”
“Your bike?!”
“I’m saving up for a BMW, OK? I have high standards! Now let’s go.”