Just Think Happy Thoughts
Ch. 17: The New Boy
Bags were repacked quickly and the van was reloaded. They were just about to say their goodbyes to the Stump residence when Marty came down with a bag of his own. “What exactly is that for, little buddy?” Tony inquired, raising an eyebrow.
“I thought I’d tag along,” the Stump boy replied with a grin, hoisting the bag into the back with the others. “It’s better than staying here and wondering whether or not one of my parents is coming home before the party.”
“Shouldn’t your mother at least show up at some point?” Elena furrowed her eyebrows in concern.
“Please, the old bag’s probably doing Jell-o shots off a cabana boy somewhere in the West Indies as we speak, she’s probably forgotten she has a son by now. Besides, I’ve got a bank account that makes Paris Hilton’s look like a piggy bank; I can handle whatever life throws at me on my own, and Dad knows this. We’ll see him at the party.”
“Our fathers should take lessons from your father.”
“Eh, the life of a Fueled By Ramen kid’s not as glamorous as it looks, trust me. You guys don’t have to rap for cookies…” He cast one last scornful look up towards the windows of his home before climbing into the back of the van. “Oh, before I forget, I called ahead and set up a place to stay for us if we get tired around Vegas.”
“You booked hotel rooms?” Elena got in and sat next to him, much to Tony’s barely visible dismay.
“No, we’ll just end up staying at the Urie-Ross compound.”
Manny stared at him blankly as he took the seat in front of him. “The what now?”
“The Urie-Ross place. Oh, Christ, that’s right, you guys haven’t seen the two of them since they got together,” Marty smirked. “I must say, it was a surprisingly easy transition to switch Uncle Brendon to Aunt Brendon.”
Melody leaned against her window and fumbled for a cigarette. “I remember hearing about that. Quite a nasty little scandal, one of the One True Fangirl Pairings turning out to be real. Can’t help but wonder how many thirty-something ex-teenies came out of the woodwork and went, ‘I KNEW IT!’ after that.”
“Oh, plenty, trust me. At least they do make a nice couple, very loving. And you just wait until you meet Leslie Urie-Ross.”
“Who?”
“Leslie, their adopted son. They only got him about two years ago, he’s about seventeen now. I think they actively sought out the gayest kid they could find, too, because Les is about as straight as a rainbow.”
Danny couldn’t stop his ears from perking up. “Really now?”
“Yeah, the kid is flaming. Skinny guy, looks a lot like Uncle Ryan. But he got Aunt Brendon’s personality, a bit of a skank, he is. Prances around in Aunt Brendon’s old jeans, hitting on anything with muscle. He’s even got bright purple hair, so gay astronauts can pick him out of the crowd.”
The wheels began to turn in Tony’s head. He leaned forward to whisper in Manny’s ear. “I know how you can get karmic redemption for that horrible thing you said this morning…”
“It was an impulse thing that I didn’t mean, I don’t have to feel guilty for anything,” the Toro boy whispered back, slightly annoyed.
“Yes, you do still. We’re going to make it up to D by hooking him up with this slutty Leslie guy.”
“Are you suggesting we play homosexual Cupid?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m getting at.”
“I thought I’d tag along,” the Stump boy replied with a grin, hoisting the bag into the back with the others. “It’s better than staying here and wondering whether or not one of my parents is coming home before the party.”
“Shouldn’t your mother at least show up at some point?” Elena furrowed her eyebrows in concern.
“Please, the old bag’s probably doing Jell-o shots off a cabana boy somewhere in the West Indies as we speak, she’s probably forgotten she has a son by now. Besides, I’ve got a bank account that makes Paris Hilton’s look like a piggy bank; I can handle whatever life throws at me on my own, and Dad knows this. We’ll see him at the party.”
“Our fathers should take lessons from your father.”
“Eh, the life of a Fueled By Ramen kid’s not as glamorous as it looks, trust me. You guys don’t have to rap for cookies…” He cast one last scornful look up towards the windows of his home before climbing into the back of the van. “Oh, before I forget, I called ahead and set up a place to stay for us if we get tired around Vegas.”
“You booked hotel rooms?” Elena got in and sat next to him, much to Tony’s barely visible dismay.
“No, we’ll just end up staying at the Urie-Ross compound.”
Manny stared at him blankly as he took the seat in front of him. “The what now?”
“The Urie-Ross place. Oh, Christ, that’s right, you guys haven’t seen the two of them since they got together,” Marty smirked. “I must say, it was a surprisingly easy transition to switch Uncle Brendon to Aunt Brendon.”
Melody leaned against her window and fumbled for a cigarette. “I remember hearing about that. Quite a nasty little scandal, one of the One True Fangirl Pairings turning out to be real. Can’t help but wonder how many thirty-something ex-teenies came out of the woodwork and went, ‘I KNEW IT!’ after that.”
“Oh, plenty, trust me. At least they do make a nice couple, very loving. And you just wait until you meet Leslie Urie-Ross.”
“Who?”
“Leslie, their adopted son. They only got him about two years ago, he’s about seventeen now. I think they actively sought out the gayest kid they could find, too, because Les is about as straight as a rainbow.”
Danny couldn’t stop his ears from perking up. “Really now?”
“Yeah, the kid is flaming. Skinny guy, looks a lot like Uncle Ryan. But he got Aunt Brendon’s personality, a bit of a skank, he is. Prances around in Aunt Brendon’s old jeans, hitting on anything with muscle. He’s even got bright purple hair, so gay astronauts can pick him out of the crowd.”
The wheels began to turn in Tony’s head. He leaned forward to whisper in Manny’s ear. “I know how you can get karmic redemption for that horrible thing you said this morning…”
“It was an impulse thing that I didn’t mean, I don’t have to feel guilty for anything,” the Toro boy whispered back, slightly annoyed.
“Yes, you do still. We’re going to make it up to D by hooking him up with this slutty Leslie guy.”
“Are you suggesting we play homosexual Cupid?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m getting at.”