Just Think Happy Thoughts
Ch. 18: Alternative Press
Another pit stop was made at the 7-11 on the outskirts of town before they hit the highway. “Make it quick, kiddies, I’m only stopping for five minutes,” Rosie grumbled as she got out from behind the steering wheel, slipping on her huge designer sunglasses.
“Someone really wants to escape what they did last night,” Manny chuckled to Tony quietly. “Think we’ll see a repeat performance along the way?”
“Hard to say. It probably depends on whether we run into Bulgarian death metal singers.”
“I heard that, fuckheads.” Rosie flipped them off over her shoulder before entering the women’s bathroom.
Manny rolled his eyes at his sister and walked absentmindedly down an aisle, scouting for the Hostess snack cakes. At the end was a small stand bearing a magazine selection, just the regular collective of girlie shit and gossip rags. There was, however, an issue of Alternative Press that caught his eye. The cover sported a headline about the Fall Out Boy reunion. It peaked his interest enough to make him pick it up.
The article was only a page and a half, mostly an interview with Uncle Patrick and brief conversation with Uncle Joe and Uncle Andy. They’d been unable to get Uncle Pete to comment. However, much to Manny’s pleasant surprise, they’d gotten a whole side bar from LilaAnne.
Fall Out Girl
Not unlike her father, but for very different reasons, LilaAnne Wentz is the most well-known of the FOB children. Tales of her humanitarianism have been flooding in for a few years, and with her dedication to the Angel Paws Animal Shelter in Los Angeles, they’re unlikely to end any time soon. This most wholesome of rock star progeny has been donating her time and allowance to charity since junior high.
“I just get the greatest sense of fulfillment from volunteering,” LilaAnne gushed to AP over a soy latte. “Sure, it gets tough sometimes, like on declawing days. And helping out with the animals isn’t exactly the coolest extracurricular to the other kids at school. But I’m happy just knowing that what I do helps others.”
If perhaps her sweetness sounds too saccharine to be true, then you’ll be pleased to know that LilaAnne admits that she wasn’t always so saintly. “Oh, no, goodness, I was horrible when I was little,” she giggles, flipping a blond pigtail over a bronzed shoulder. “I was the worst little spoiled brat, I swear it. I used to be so mean to other kids. It wasn’t even because I didn’t like them or anything. Actually at one point, I put gum in the hair of this one boy that I had a massive crush on.”
Manny’s eyes widened as he read this bizarre news. “Crush?” he whispered aloud, rereading the statement over and over. “Crush….”
What changed her attitude so drastically, you ask? “Things really changed perspective after my parents split. I know it’s the classic psychosis to think that your mom and dad divorcing is your fault, but that’s just how I felt. I got it into my head that my mom didn’t want me anymore and let Dad have custody because I was so bad. I’m sure now that’s not how it was, but I’m still glad I changed. It was for the best.”
“Shit…” Manny mumbled, frowning. His hunch had been correct, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty for it. Not to mention guilty for the grudge he’d held against her for so long. He, of all people, knew what it was like to not have your mother around…
“Whatcha reading there, champ?” He choked a gasp as he looked up, Melody’s blank, emotionless face gazing back at him. “See you’ve got the new issue of AP.”
“Um, yeah, I was just glancing at the article on the Fall Out Boy reunion.”
“Then I take it you read the sidebar with Lila…”
“Well, y-yeah, I was getting to it…”
Melody let the tiniest of smirks cross her face. “It’s OK, T.J., you can continue your little crush. I don’t judge.”
“What makes you think I have a crush, exactly? And since when do you still call me T.J.?”
“Dude, just because I pretty much died emotionally at age 15 doesn’t mean I’m not still me.” The smirk grew a slight fraction of an inch. “And I can tell it’s a crush, because you have her Wikipedia page bookmarked on your laptop.”
“When the fuck did you get on my laptop?!”
“Back at Marty’s, while you were sleeping.”
“How the fuck did you sneak in?!”
“That, my dear, is not important. What is important is that you not bottle all this up and that you tell her you like her when we get there. You will, right?”
At a loss for words, Manny just let his mouth hang open as he tried to gesture a response out. Finally he managed, “Sure. Whatever. Stay out of my stuff…” With that he put the magazine back and pushed past her, headed back for the van.
“Someone really wants to escape what they did last night,” Manny chuckled to Tony quietly. “Think we’ll see a repeat performance along the way?”
“Hard to say. It probably depends on whether we run into Bulgarian death metal singers.”
“I heard that, fuckheads.” Rosie flipped them off over her shoulder before entering the women’s bathroom.
Manny rolled his eyes at his sister and walked absentmindedly down an aisle, scouting for the Hostess snack cakes. At the end was a small stand bearing a magazine selection, just the regular collective of girlie shit and gossip rags. There was, however, an issue of Alternative Press that caught his eye. The cover sported a headline about the Fall Out Boy reunion. It peaked his interest enough to make him pick it up.
The article was only a page and a half, mostly an interview with Uncle Patrick and brief conversation with Uncle Joe and Uncle Andy. They’d been unable to get Uncle Pete to comment. However, much to Manny’s pleasant surprise, they’d gotten a whole side bar from LilaAnne.
Fall Out Girl
Not unlike her father, but for very different reasons, LilaAnne Wentz is the most well-known of the FOB children. Tales of her humanitarianism have been flooding in for a few years, and with her dedication to the Angel Paws Animal Shelter in Los Angeles, they’re unlikely to end any time soon. This most wholesome of rock star progeny has been donating her time and allowance to charity since junior high.
“I just get the greatest sense of fulfillment from volunteering,” LilaAnne gushed to AP over a soy latte. “Sure, it gets tough sometimes, like on declawing days. And helping out with the animals isn’t exactly the coolest extracurricular to the other kids at school. But I’m happy just knowing that what I do helps others.”
If perhaps her sweetness sounds too saccharine to be true, then you’ll be pleased to know that LilaAnne admits that she wasn’t always so saintly. “Oh, no, goodness, I was horrible when I was little,” she giggles, flipping a blond pigtail over a bronzed shoulder. “I was the worst little spoiled brat, I swear it. I used to be so mean to other kids. It wasn’t even because I didn’t like them or anything. Actually at one point, I put gum in the hair of this one boy that I had a massive crush on.”
Manny’s eyes widened as he read this bizarre news. “Crush?” he whispered aloud, rereading the statement over and over. “Crush….”
What changed her attitude so drastically, you ask? “Things really changed perspective after my parents split. I know it’s the classic psychosis to think that your mom and dad divorcing is your fault, but that’s just how I felt. I got it into my head that my mom didn’t want me anymore and let Dad have custody because I was so bad. I’m sure now that’s not how it was, but I’m still glad I changed. It was for the best.”
“Shit…” Manny mumbled, frowning. His hunch had been correct, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty for it. Not to mention guilty for the grudge he’d held against her for so long. He, of all people, knew what it was like to not have your mother around…
“Whatcha reading there, champ?” He choked a gasp as he looked up, Melody’s blank, emotionless face gazing back at him. “See you’ve got the new issue of AP.”
“Um, yeah, I was just glancing at the article on the Fall Out Boy reunion.”
“Then I take it you read the sidebar with Lila…”
“Well, y-yeah, I was getting to it…”
Melody let the tiniest of smirks cross her face. “It’s OK, T.J., you can continue your little crush. I don’t judge.”
“What makes you think I have a crush, exactly? And since when do you still call me T.J.?”
“Dude, just because I pretty much died emotionally at age 15 doesn’t mean I’m not still me.” The smirk grew a slight fraction of an inch. “And I can tell it’s a crush, because you have her Wikipedia page bookmarked on your laptop.”
“When the fuck did you get on my laptop?!”
“Back at Marty’s, while you were sleeping.”
“How the fuck did you sneak in?!”
“That, my dear, is not important. What is important is that you not bottle all this up and that you tell her you like her when we get there. You will, right?”
At a loss for words, Manny just let his mouth hang open as he tried to gesture a response out. Finally he managed, “Sure. Whatever. Stay out of my stuff…” With that he put the magazine back and pushed past her, headed back for the van.