Just Think Happy Thoughts
Ch. 2: Keep to Tradition
Two loud banging sounds sounded through the treehouse as Tony banged his gavel, or as it were, a Red Bull can they’d crammed full of dirt six years previous. “The start-of-summer meeting of the Chemical Kids Support Group is called to order. Role call from youngest, now.”
Elena hopped up from her spot on the floor and gave a salute. “Elena Donna Way, Chemical Kid 6, Ger-Z Spawn One, snacks administrator!”
Danny shifted to his feet slowly, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Daniel Robert Bryar, Chemical Kid 5, BobKat Spawn One, security.” He punched his palm once for emphasis.
Next it was Manny’s turn. “Manuel Peter Townsend Toro, Chemical Kid 4, Rista Spawn One-B, tech specialist.”
There was a long pause as they waited for Rosie to take her turn, but she merely sat cross-legged in a beanbag, filing her nails. After a while she looked up and noticed everyone staring at her with annoyed faces. She narrowed her eyes at Tony. “Remind me how the fuck you got to be in charge in the first place?”
“I won rock-paper-scissors,” he deadpanned back. “Now do your role call.”
“Fine, fine…” she grumbled as she stood up. “Rosa Maria Toro, Chemical Kid 3, Rista Spawn One-A, social coordinator. May I leave now?”
“No, now shut up.” Tony stood to take his turn. “Frank Anthony Iero the Second Consecutive, Chemical Kid 2, Framia Spawn One, group leader.”
All eyes shifted to Melody, who’d been leaning broodingly into a corner and staring out the window. “Melody Louise Way, Chemical Kid One, Malicia Spawn One, keeper of the group code and history.”
Tony grinned and straightened up in his beanbag. “Role call complete, now on to business. First order on the docket…what are we doing to make this summer legendary?”
Rosie rolled her eyes. “Why the fuck does it matter? Summer is summer, we always spend it the same. Mel hides in her basement, I move into the mall, and the rest of you hang out here and do whatever it is you losers do.”
“…are you done? OK, the reason we’re making this summer legendary is because it’s our last one all together. Melody goes to college in four months; do you guys not get that? Mel, remind them we’re you’ll be attending.”
Mel sighed. “UCLA…”
“Exactly. Our oldest and most esteemed member is going to be on the other side of the country for four years, minus holidays. And what are you planning on doing with your first summer off from college, Mel?”
“Backpacking through Europe…”
“Right. So next summer, the one before Chem Kids 2-4 go off to start their adult lives, one of our number will be drinking espresso with some guy named Sven in a dirty café. Thusly, therefore, and ergo, we must make this summer legendary. Make it something we’re gonna look back on with nostalgia when we’re so old that we’re eating through tubes shoved up our asses!
“Now…who has any ideas?”
There was a long, awkward silence that descended over the treehouse as they strained to think of something. Eventually Elena raised her hand.
“Yes, Lena?”
“…road trip?”
“Yes! Excellent thinking, sugarpop! We road trip! Now, where do we road trip to?”
“ComiCon,” Danny and Manny said in unison.
“NO, NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO,” Rosie protested, brandishing her nail file at them. “I learned my lesson about letting you freaks drag me somewhere nerd-related. I’ve still got nerd drool on me from that little excursion to Forbidden Planet.”
“Well then, Mrs. Too Cool for Drool, where do you suggest we go?”
A sly smile snuck across Rosie’s face as she pulled her cell phone out of her purse. “I’ve got the answer right here…”
Elena hopped up from her spot on the floor and gave a salute. “Elena Donna Way, Chemical Kid 6, Ger-Z Spawn One, snacks administrator!”
Danny shifted to his feet slowly, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Daniel Robert Bryar, Chemical Kid 5, BobKat Spawn One, security.” He punched his palm once for emphasis.
Next it was Manny’s turn. “Manuel Peter Townsend Toro, Chemical Kid 4, Rista Spawn One-B, tech specialist.”
There was a long pause as they waited for Rosie to take her turn, but she merely sat cross-legged in a beanbag, filing her nails. After a while she looked up and noticed everyone staring at her with annoyed faces. She narrowed her eyes at Tony. “Remind me how the fuck you got to be in charge in the first place?”
“I won rock-paper-scissors,” he deadpanned back. “Now do your role call.”
“Fine, fine…” she grumbled as she stood up. “Rosa Maria Toro, Chemical Kid 3, Rista Spawn One-A, social coordinator. May I leave now?”
“No, now shut up.” Tony stood to take his turn. “Frank Anthony Iero the Second Consecutive, Chemical Kid 2, Framia Spawn One, group leader.”
All eyes shifted to Melody, who’d been leaning broodingly into a corner and staring out the window. “Melody Louise Way, Chemical Kid One, Malicia Spawn One, keeper of the group code and history.”
Tony grinned and straightened up in his beanbag. “Role call complete, now on to business. First order on the docket…what are we doing to make this summer legendary?”
Rosie rolled her eyes. “Why the fuck does it matter? Summer is summer, we always spend it the same. Mel hides in her basement, I move into the mall, and the rest of you hang out here and do whatever it is you losers do.”
“…are you done? OK, the reason we’re making this summer legendary is because it’s our last one all together. Melody goes to college in four months; do you guys not get that? Mel, remind them we’re you’ll be attending.”
Mel sighed. “UCLA…”
“Exactly. Our oldest and most esteemed member is going to be on the other side of the country for four years, minus holidays. And what are you planning on doing with your first summer off from college, Mel?”
“Backpacking through Europe…”
“Right. So next summer, the one before Chem Kids 2-4 go off to start their adult lives, one of our number will be drinking espresso with some guy named Sven in a dirty café. Thusly, therefore, and ergo, we must make this summer legendary. Make it something we’re gonna look back on with nostalgia when we’re so old that we’re eating through tubes shoved up our asses!
“Now…who has any ideas?”
There was a long, awkward silence that descended over the treehouse as they strained to think of something. Eventually Elena raised her hand.
“Yes, Lena?”
“…road trip?”
“Yes! Excellent thinking, sugarpop! We road trip! Now, where do we road trip to?”
“ComiCon,” Danny and Manny said in unison.
“NO, NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO,” Rosie protested, brandishing her nail file at them. “I learned my lesson about letting you freaks drag me somewhere nerd-related. I’ve still got nerd drool on me from that little excursion to Forbidden Planet.”
“Well then, Mrs. Too Cool for Drool, where do you suggest we go?”
A sly smile snuck across Rosie’s face as she pulled her cell phone out of her purse. “I’ve got the answer right here…”