The Here and Now

“Lacey,” a soft voice whispered in the distance. “Lace, wake up.” I groaned and whipped my arm out towards the direction of which I assumed was Dylan, hoping the back of my hand would collide with some part of him to shut him up. I broke my own rule; always drink three bottles of water before passing out. “I mean, I can sit here and stare at your naked ass for all I care.” My eyes opened immediately and I reached for blankets to cover my bare body.

“Go away,” I mumbled into the pillow. With every word I spoke my head pounded harder. I felt a pair of lips kiss my forehead before I was being lifted up into his lap. I opened my eyes slowly, one before the other so I didn’t overwhelm my senses. My stomach immediately threatened to race out my throat but I tried to hide it. Dylan tucked me in so nothing was exposed as he breathed in deeply and rest his chin on the top of my head. I let my fingers cascade down his chest, tracing the image of a coffin then following the crease of the top two of his abs. “Can we sleep more?” I whined.

“Not today, love,” he told me, brushing my bangs out of my eyes. “Jess is on her way over right after work. And it’s already half past noon.”

I mumbled incoherently before rolling off Dylan and secondly off the bed, hitting the carpet with a thud. This was how I always tend to wake up after such a sloppy night. I slapped several spots on the ground, feeling for any type of clothing before actually opening my eyes and finding my garments.

“Need help?”

“I’m good,” I assured him as I took a deep breath and began to dress myself. My eyes fell on him staring up at me apologetically. I waved him off. “I’m not mad. I know her walking in here to see us would fuck a lot up,” I laughed. He nodded and stood up, already clad in his briefs, and made his way around the couch, pulling me into a bear hug. “Text me later if you’re bored or something.”

“Will do, Lacey. If you have any problems getting home, you have my number.” I gave him a simple nod before making my way out the front door, shutting it tightly behind me.

I had never been more thankful for such a damp, dreary atmosphere as I dragged my feet down the pavement that eventually would lead to my block, making sure I’d not once step on a crack. The sun was hidden, thankfully, by the clouds at the point in day, clouds that were threatening to spill and drench all of Lansing. I couldn’t help but smirk just a little as I turned another corner.

Dylan and I...our relationship was far from the usual. While I can’t argue that we’d been the closest of friends since secondary school, before the thought to get a tattoo ever dared cross his mind, we had been just a tad more provocative lately. It’s not like we had sex every night or every other at that; just when we both wanted a release that my substances and his girlfriend couldn’t provide. On that note...

Jessica was, or is I suppose his girlfriend just a hair shy of three years, and my lord, was she a bombshell. She had the height, which followed with having the legs and the perfect curves. Her cascading dark hair, a chestnut brown I’d say, fell halfway down her slender back. Her bone structure was impeccable and her lips had the perfect amount of pout to them. Oh, and she wasn’t too much of a pussy to actually get a tattoo, unlike myself.

Now don’t get me wrong; I was far from jealous of Jess. While she was breath taking, she lacked a lot of serious qualities that I know Dylan cares about. She’s smart, but unintelligent, and doesn’t have the decency to hold a meaningful conversation. She also has this tendency to laugh at extremely inappropriate moments. For example, Dylan and I were sitting in the restaurant she waits tables for and I would have been in tears had I not been heavily under the influence of narcotics. I’d just told him that my sister had been hospitalized for her heart condition again, and when she overheard from meters away she couldn’t help but to chuckle and look at me with sadness in her eyes. I almost beat her to a pulp had Dylan not hurried out of his seat and led her away. He knew me even better than I did.

I always get questioned about whether or not we’re together, and never hesitate to clarify it for people. Sure I love Dylan, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen him as more than my fuck buddy; my best friend.

Oh, and did I care if he was in a relationship? Yes, I normally did but with her? Not a chance. It wasn’t that I disliked her; I just knew that Dylan deserved the world, and she couldn’t provide it to him.

I finally rounded the corner where my apartment building appeared in the distance. It was a bit difficult to see, as the fog had thickened, but there it was, in all its relic glory. I picked up my pace to get inside before the downpour that was looming could actually pick up on me.

I hurried my way up the stairs, fumbling with my keychain as I walked. I cursed under my breath while my fingers kept continuing on with trying to find the one key I needed out of the dozen that looked eerily similar. Suddenly, I felt my forehead hit bone and I yelped in surprise, immediately beginning to fall backwards down the flight of stairs I’d only made it halfway up.

“Whoa!” a voice called out as bony fingers grasped around my wrist and pulled me toward him. I flung myself forward so immediately that I prepared myself for the impact of head butting a complete stranger. He had thankfully leaned his body back just enough to keep out of harms way. “I’m sorry, miss!”

“It’s my fault,” I stuttered nervously, trying to regain my composure and end these damn shakes that I always got at the worst of times. They made me look like a crack addict. “I wasn’t looking.” I tried not to pay attention to his features. I could already tell from just a peek out of the corner of my eye that he looked damn sexy. I noticed shoulder length dark hair, a glimpse of piercing blues eyes, and a pair of lips that I could take advantage of all day. “Sorry,” I muttered, bee lining around him before he could say any more. My shyness was going to be the death of me.

I was thankful that my sister was out and about, and the apartment was mine. I was definitely not in the mood to be lectured about my bad habits, especially after the embarrassing incident with a beautiful man who probably now thought that I was out of my mind. I sighed and tried to brush it off, though I knew I probably wouldn’t. Moments like this make me wonder how in the hell did I allow myself to get so close to Dylan, the man girls will drop to their knees for? Literally.

I tossed my keys onto the marble counter and marched over to the cabinet furthest to the left with a scowl on my face. Reaching up with hands that had finally calmed, I opened what I had labeled as the medicine cabinet. My brow furrowed as I shuffled around bottles on the bottom shelf until I found the plastic baggie I’d been looking for, now only half full with smaller than dime sized, pink pills. My pulse noticeably picked up as I carefully picked five out of the bunch before sealing the bag again and placing it back in its respectful place. Immediately I snapped each in half and popped them all down my throat, so used to the flavour and texture that I no longer needed water or juice to rinse my mouth.

Anxiety overwhelmed my senses. The worst part was always the wait.

I can’t really explain the dream I had, or if I even fell asleep and dreamt or if it was just my imagination spiraling out of control as it sometimes could do. The field that me and Dylan “founded” was ablaze in flames as he and I made our way through the thin tree line with a bottle of scotch and a quilt smelling of lilac detergent. I was in shock, screaming and flailing my limbs, urging for Dylan to call someone to take care of the disaster before it spread and ruined our beloved spot, but Dylan, he was completely collected. Smiling, even.

“There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love as there is in an unlighted lamp and one that is burning,” he began serenely, his voice just above a raspy whisper as he emphasized the last word. But somehow I could hear him over the vicious crackling of the flames as he continued. “The lamp was there and it was a good lamp, but now it is shedding light too, and that is its real function. And love makes one calmer about many things, and in that way, one is more fit for one's work.”

My hand very slowly reached out to grab his as he stared forward, his eyes glistening. His cool skin shocked my own as I grasped his fingers. He squeezed tightly, slowly closing his eyelids and looking down with the most peaceful look I’d ever seen him wear.

“Lacey,” he murmured as I shut my own. Suddenly we were lying down and the heat of the monstrosity had dispersed, leaving a deafening silence. I felt my body roll to the side as drool trailed down my cheek. “You better be fucking okay, you moron.” I tried to open my eyes, but managed to just barely peel one eyelid back to see Dylan’s concerned face hovering above me. His features immediately twisted into that of anger. I groaned something inaudible. “What did you take?”

I lifted what felt like my thirty pound hand and create a small circle using my index finger and thumb. He sighed and rested a flat hand on my forehead.

“Oxy? I thought you cut that shit out.”

“I cut back,” I managed to speak, finally opening my other eye. I swallowed a pool of saliva that had built up under my tongue. I coughed as he grabbed my shoulders and sat me up straight, leaning me against the couch. “When did I get on the floor?”

He got to his feet and scurried into the kitchen, searching through the dishwasher for something. I heard the faucet run then halt before the jingling of his keys became louder and he was back by my side with a glass of water. I didn’t hesitate to wrap both hands around it and shakily bring the rim to my lips, taking a small sip of the chilled liquid. “You’re just lucky I got here before Emma,” he reasoned, his lecture tone of voice kicking in. “She’d have kicked your ass.”

I chuckled as I finished the water and rested the cup down by my side. He squatted beside me and brushed my hair off my damp forehead and behind my ear as he stared deep into my eyes. “I’ll be fine, Dylan, I just fell asleep,” I said with a weak smile. “And I had an odd dream about the world burning. You were in it.”

“I’m just in all your dreams, aren’t I?” he grinned, nodding his head. “But something’s always on fire or someone’s drowning. I’m your savior.”

“Absolutely.” I breathed in deeply as he pulled me into him and hugged my head against his chest.