Defect.

Life is hard.

I never doubted that. But sometimes it just feels like reality likes to pop out and smack you right in the face.

It makes me wish I was a child again, when things were simple. When we lived in a world of make-believe, world where nothing could harm us, nothing was wrong and everyone was happy.

A world that it pure bliss. A safe haven.

It’s the place that we slowly leave as we enter Reality: The world of Adults. None notice the sad transition, they actually rejoice in the new found freedom of the adult world to be missing their safe haven.

I looked at all the teary eyes young adults around me. They all left their safe haven willingly. But not me, I was forced to leave long before my time. Actually I was shoved out, making me lose my safe haven, not allowing me to leave when I was ready.

That was the first time reality popped out and smacked me. It was more like a straight sucker punch to my nose. And now, as they lower my uncles, well he’s also my Alpha, casket into the hole in the ground, it’s punched me again- this time in my heart.

I looked around as I saw quite a few women break down, silently sobbing into the arms of their mates. They were trying to hide their sadness. However I didn’t have to hide my tears, I just closed my big black umbrella and let the rain wash them away for me. I didn’t need a man to mask my tears.

I felt the rain prick my arms. I was wearing a black dress; it was shapeless and went down to my knees. It had lace sleeves that covered from my shoulder down to my wrist.

I wore this dress, even though it was freezing, in honor of my uncle. It used to belong to his mate before he handed it down to me, years after her death.

They brought the cement top over and sealed my uncle in, alongside his mate. His one true love. Well, at least they’re together wherever they are.

They cover the tomb with a wrap so they properly seal it later when it isn’t raining. The rain has been on and off all day. It’s stopped raining for now.

Someone walked up to the front to say a few words. It wasn’t anyone I recognized- which isn’t weird because I hardly recognize any of my extended family members anymore. It’s expected to happen, especially when your entire family has shunned you. It stopped bothering me long ago but today it’s annoying me to no end.

They’re not letting me say a few words for my uncle. They don’t care that I was the closest one to him, they don’t care that he was like a father to me.

They don’t care that I’m hurting the most- that this is killing me!

I couldn’t control the sob that racked my body. It feels like I’m breaking down internally. I fall to the floor, ignoring the mud that sloshed onto me.

“Why did you leave me?” I whisper to myself.

In the distance I hear a child ask, “Mommy, why is she on the floor?”

“Leave her alone. That’s how she is.” She spoke harshly to her son.

“Is she broken?” The little boy innocently asks.

“No, she’s defected”

Oh yes, life is hard indeed.