Defect.

I could tell by his facial features that he was taken aback by my comment, “what are you talking about?”

I was opening my mouth to respond but he beat me to it, “leap of faith? With Witches? Ha- I think not and I certainly hope for your sake that you have not been in contact with any.”

“Doc! Will you give me a chance to speak?” I asked exasperated.

He was only looking in my eyes, “look upward.”

“What?”

“Look upward and spell out your full name, I need to make sure that you aren’t under an enchantment.”

I wanted to roll my eyes at his stupidity but instead I humored him—he is a doctor after all, aren’t we supposed to do what they ask of us? While looking up at the ceiling with only my eyes I spelled out my full name.

When I looked back down at him, he seemed somewhat placate. Once he had confirmed that I wasn’t under any sort of enchantment he let me explain my story to him. Of course, I was only able to get so far into my story before he began scoffing and slightly shaking his head.

“See? That’s why I need your help getting the Luna Crest.”

“Luna,” I gritted my teeth at the sound of that title, “Lunas Crest isn’t just known for its healing abilities but also for its other potentials, its used mostly by midwives who are witches. I don’t even know if it will help your case at all.”

“But could you at least, like, research this? What if it can? There’s that shred of hope.”

He didn’t look me in the eyes; “No.” and then he began to walk away down the stairs. My mouth didn’t fall open in shock, I was expecting him to reject my idea. I ran down the stairs after him.

“Doc! Doc, come on hear me out.” The end of my sentence drifted off into a quiet whisper when we walked into the dining room. I dropped the hand that was reaching out towards the doctor.

The dining room was full of pack members. No, it wasn’t just full.

It was jam packed with pack members.

All different sizes and ages, there were the old wolves sitting down on the couches. The younger wolves huddled around their pups. There weren’t many males here though. Some of them wore familiar faces, others I hadn’t seen in years.

None were paying attention to me. But I knew that in a few short moments they’d all snap their heads at me and sneer, just like in all my nightmares.

I felt my limbs lock themselves into place with all the nerves I was suddenly feeling. All these people stuff into this room, it was—they were making it hard for me to breath.

Don’t panic Venus. Just breathe, just breathe.

“Venus!” I plus many other heads turned to the voice shouting my name, it was Nick. People parted way for him as he jogged his way over to me. He was smiling though it didn’t look entirely genuine.

“There you are! We’ve been looking for you.” He said reaching my side.

“Wha-” I noticed all the eyes looking at me and felt my throat start to constrict. Dear Lord save me now.

He softly placed a hand on my lower back, gently pushing me past the doctor and towards the crowd, “Come, I can’t very well leave you alone.” The crowd parted as we approached.

I bent my head, allowing my hair to make a curtain between my face and everyone else’s.

Please, let me crawl into a hole. Under a rock would even suffice.

What? You can’t blame me. These are the people that shunned and ignored me for the majority of my life. How was it my fault at all that I didn’t have the ability to shift?

Hell, if anything these people should not have turned their backs on me but reached out their hands to a fellow pack member.

No.

Society is too fucked up to want someone defected.

I slightly shook my head surprised. Where was all this sudden rage coming from? I never curse like that. I don’t drop f-bombs, I just don’t do it.

Nick leaned down close to my ear, “Vee you alright?”

“Barely.” I whispered but kept my head titled down.

He lifted his hand from my back to place both his hands on my shoulders, “just bare with me. We’ll get through this.” I meekly nodded but didn’t raise my head.

He kept steering me into the crowd until I felt the fresh air and smell of burning charcoal hit me—we were outside.

Sure Nick, take me from a room full of women to a backyard full of men and a small fire. Real smart idea.

“Venus!” my eyes glanced over and saw Alpha Henny standing by the grill, with beer bottle in hand. He motioned for me to go over to him. Reluctantly, I started walking towards him with Nick closely following behind me.

“I’ve been searching for you.” He said with a bright smile. All the men that surrounded him watched my movement as I went to stand next to him.

Due to all the eyes watching me, I refrained from rolling my eyes at his statement. He wasn’t searching for me, he sent Nick to do all the work for him.

“Are you hungry? Do you want something to drink?”

I raised an eyebrow. I know what most of the people around me are thinking: now, why is the Alpha asking these questions to one of his regular pack members? An Alpha should only fawn over his mate and pups, and even then it’s mostly done in private.

Fawning in public will really only make him lose his tough guy rep.

Of course, a little bit is allowed. So no one is probably making much out of those simple questions he asked me.

“Venus?” he asked taking another sip of his beer.

I wanted to shrug but instead I just gently shook my head and said, “No thanks Alpha.”

Alpha Henny let out a roar of laughter.

Shock from his sudden laughter, I took a step back eyeing him weirdly. The men surrounding him joined in his boisterous laughter, a bit awkwardly I might add. I turned to look at Nick. He just gave me a soft shrug that said ‘don’t worry’.

Alpha Henny then proceeded to pat my head with his free hand, “ah, still calling me Alpha I see.”

I was flabbergasted, what else was I supposed to call him?

I was bristling. I did not want to stand next to this liar, while he casually talked about pack business.

He had the gull to claim me as his Luna, yet tell me nothing about it. Like, wha—who does that?

I took a deep breath. Rule out all the possibilities Venus.

Well it can’t just be Andromeda lying because the doctor also called me that.

No one has given me a snarl or nasty look so either Alpha Henny has been succeeding in his work, OR they see me as their future Alpha Female.

Which is total bull.

They know I’m weak and putting a weak person in charge of a pack will only lead it to its demise. I huffed. Alpha Henny’s decision is making no sense to me whatsoever.

No Venus, don’t get mad. Just shut those emotions out.

I took a deep breath and envisioned myself reaching out and turning the faucet, the emotions that were leaking out. Anger was always the hardest to control it was like fire. It spread quickly, and it hurt me just as a real fire would.

I winced from the pain that it inflicted.

“Are you alright, Venus?” Alpha Henny was looking at me, as was the entire pack. They looked on edge, ready to harm whoever had harmed their Luna.

I snapped out of the reverie I was in, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Ah, spacing out I see. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I slipped on a fake smile, “sorry, I’m—I’m just hungry. Stomach pains,” I rubbed my stomach for emphasis, “ I’m going to get some food.”

Alpha Henny nodded at me and continued to talk to the other men. I slowly began to back away and head towards the food table, that’s when I saw Nick following me. “Oh, did you want something too?” I asked him.

He just smiled and shook his head but continued to follow me nonetheless.

I made a face at him, why is he acting like my shadow?

I have a feeling he’s going to keep doing that for the rest of the cook out. I had already fully formed a plan by the time I spotted Brady loading up his plate.

I turned to Nick, “wait here I’ll get you something to drink!” and I jogged over to where Brady was. Nick stayed behind a couple of feet. I grabbed a plate and leaned into Brady who had half a banana sticking out of his mouth.

“I need your help.” I inconspicuously whispered to him while gathering the things needed to make a hamburger

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t take the banana out of his mouth.

“Distract Nick for me. I need to get away for a little bit.”

He shook his head and started loading up a second plate.

I stopped making my hamburger. “Please Brayden. I’ll just be gone for a few minutes.”

He stopped loading up food and seemed to be pondering my words. Then he shook his head and finished eating his banana. “Where are you disappearing off to?”

“My Uncles grave.”

This time Brady completely stopped moving and with a sigh, he agreed to help me. I almost jumped up in glee. However, I kept my cool and went to grab a canned soda form the cooler that was next to the table. While walking back to Brady I tried to discreetly shake the soda as much as I could.

I handed it to Brady, but he wouldn’t take it, “are you crazy!” he whisper shouted at me.

I shoved it into his only free hand, “just give it to him, tell him it’s from me. Then walk away.”

“Walk away?”

“Okay, you can stand there.”

“No, I think I’ll walk away.”

“Alright.” I finished making my hamburger, “here you can have it” I smiled at placed it on his plate. Brady handed me his phone and told me to call the house phone if need ever arose. “Get ready, you’ll have a small window to slip away.” Brady winked at me and walked towards Nick, who was talking to some girls from the pack.

Maybe I should have used those girls as a distraction. Well, with them chatting Nick up I didn’t need Brady as a distraction.

I began slinking away towards the side door to the house. It was on the other side where the food table and Alpha Henny were. I heard the sound of gushing soda and girly shrieks and knew that my window of opportunity had opened.

“BRADY!” I heard Nicks voice.

That’s when I practically sprinted to the side door. I quickly shut it and began running down into the cul-de-sac and then I turned and ran right into the forest using our neighbor’s back yard.

The cemetery isn’t that far away from here, but taking the shortcut through the forest would be the easiest way to go about it.

I hiked up the hem of my maxi dress. With my dress in one hand and Bradys cell phone in another I began sprinting as fast I could through the forest. I was careful not to trip because it would hurt a lot seeing as how I was wearing sandals.

I ran for a few for at least twenty minutes before I arrived at the black pearl fence of the cemetery. I carefully hopped the fence and continued walking on the lush grass, avoiding stepping on any name plates.

Whenever I have ever come here, it reminds me of the same cemetery from the movie Charlie St. Cloud. With what all the nice grass, fancy tombstones, and noisy geese.

I kept track of the numbers as I reached the familiar area.

The area where my Uncle was buried.

It was at the top of the hill. Lush grass surrounded two tombstones. My former Alpha and Luna. If I had come not too long ago it would have been surrounded by balloons, flowers, cards, and people now all that was left was a small bouquet of lilies in an even smaller crystal vase.

I shooed a geese from doing any more harm to the flowers that were left there. On close inspection of the flowers, they didn’t look to be any older than a couple of weeks.

I stepped back to read what was engraved. I looked at the one that had the Luna insignia delicately carved into it.

Ana Maria Ballentyne-Romero
1973-1998
In our lives for a short time but in our hearts and memories forever.

I turned to look at the one right in front of me, the one with the Alpha Insignia carved intricately into the headstone.

Ralf Ballentyne
1968—2012
Beloved leader, brother and inspiration.
You will never be forgotten.

“You will never be forgotten in my heart, Tio.” My voice cracked as the dreaded emotions began to slip in.

I thought I had turned that damn faucet off.

Keep it together Venus. You can’t afford to break down now. You’ve been so strong. I tried to keep myself motivated but the tears clouded over my vision. Everything became so blurry to the point that I could no longer identify my Uncles tombstone. Braydens phone slipped from my grasp and landed softly onto the grass.

With a total disregard for my contacts, I began letting out these horribly loud sobs.

I let myself fall down and cradle my knees. My running eyeliner marking the paths my tears decided to take.

It felt like there had been a dam built around my heart, one that wasn’t allowing the sadness creep over and rush into my body.

Have you ever had that feeling? Where it feels like your drowning and your totally and utterly helpless to do anything about it?

I was gasping for air.

What was I drowning in? Sadness? The lies I was surrounded by?

I didn’t even know what it was.

I thought I was finally finding myself, but being surrounded by all this lies. Am I really finding myself? Or simply becoming the girl they want me to be?

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I couldn’t hear the soft crunching noise of gravel under tires, nor the sound of a car door closing, but I felt the heavy hand that was placed on my back in a comforting notion.

And of course, although it felt like I was drowning, I was still able to feel the miniature shocks that reverberated throughout my blood stream.

“Hey, what’s wrong Miss?”

I sniffled a bit recognizing that voice. “Tristan?” I asked turning sideways to get a blurry look at him.

It was Tristan’s voice; of course I would recognize it.

He quietly gulped, “Venus.”

I wanted to lurch away from him. To hiss in his face that he did not belong here, but once again, I couldn’t move in front of this Alpha-to-be.

I could only allow the waterworks to start all over again.

“Oh hey now, don’t cry.” I could sense his confusion, “uh- if it really bothers you I’ll leave. I just came to replace these.”

Through my crappy vision I saw him pull out Lilies that he had in his other hand. He bent down and began to take out the old Lilies.

“You?” I asked with a croaky voice.

“Yeah. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t hate Alpha Ralf.” He set the old flower down onto the floor and threw out the old water before filling it up again with a water bottle he had brought along, “he was a good man. He always respected me, and I don’t see why I shouldn’t do the same even now that he is... gone.” He mixed in flower food and then placed the new lilies into the vase.

He stood up and dusted his hands onto his low-slung dark denim jeans, “Before everything went wrong, he was a great Alpha.”

“He always was!” I hissed.

Tristan bared his teeth at me, and growled very lowly, “Venus. Not now.”

I glowered at him and wiped away my ruined eyeliner.

“Besides, you are not in the position to say anything.”

I snapped my head up to see him, “what do you mean?” I asked annoyed.

“How many times have you visited his graves to pay your respects?”

I opened my mouth but then promptly shut it again, “I’ve been busy.” I muttered finally.

Busy drowning.

He scoffed, “Busy drowning in all of your Luna duties?”

As if I was just shocked by the very ground itself, I shot up, “what did you say?” referring to him using the word ‘drown’. How would he know?

“Oh please, don’t act stupid!” he sneered, “ I asked around, and I know very well that your going to be Alpha Dickfaces Luna!”

I gasped, what did he call Alpha Henny?

He saw my face and continued talking “Excuse me. But that’s what he is. He thinks he can come here into this town and start hating me for no apparent reason, who the hell does he think he is!”

“That’s because you were being an asshole![/i[” I nearly shouted it at the top of my lungs.

“Tell me, what did I do to him that I didn’t apologize for? Tell me!”

I stayed quiet thinking,” That moment in the living room, when I passed out.”

“Please. He was also disrespecting me and he knew that he shouldn’t be doing that to someone in my position, a young uncontrolled wolf with Alpha blood in his veins. Even then, his brother attacked me first and I held back. I held back!”

I didn’t know what to say. “You threatened me.” I whispered watching his face.

It was like the anger slowly melted off his face, “I was mad. This man comes into town and disrespects me when I can’t do anything about it, then he—then he goes and… He takes... look he pissed me off.”

I started to slowly shake my head; Alpha Henny isn’t that kind of man. He doesn’t go around being rude to people.

He made an astonished face at me, “You don’t believe me? You’ve known me for years.”

I wanted to say, “Years full of fear.” But I stayed quiet instead.

“He’s not who he makes himself out to be. There are things he is hiding from you Venus. Big things.”

I couldn’t look him in the face anymore. I was looking at Brady’s cell phone on the ground now.

“Of course, you would know that Miss Soon-to-be-Luna. You are to be his mate” he spat out the word mate as if it was the most foul thing to ever come across his lips.

It made me furious, “No!”

“No?” he suddenly looked confused.

“NO!” I snapped down to get Brady’s phone, “Just-just shut up and go back to your perfect life!” I began to take big steps away from him.

My heart suddenly felt heavy.

He looked genuinely confused, “Perfect life?”

“Yes, a perfect life with your loving parents and happy friends. A life that does not include me!”

The look on his face was like if I just told him that his puppy had died.

It made me incredibly morose.

I shook my head repelling those feelings. “Fuck you!” I screamed as I turned around and ran away.

Every step I took away from him felt as if I was making a mistake.

I shouldn’t feel this way. I can’t feel this way, especially towards a man that wrecked havoc in my life for so long.

But that feeling wouldn’t go away.

Have I made a mistake?

Did place my trust in the wrong guy?