Wanted You More

Nicole:

It's August and that means only a month until the baby is here. Beau has gone back to school but I'm staying home for the first few months while I prepare for the baby. It's hard not seeing Beau as much as I did over the summer, since he has school and hockey almost everyday, but I do appreciate anytime I do get to be with him. Today my mom and I were going in for my last ultrasound to make sure everything was going okay. We are also finding out if the baby is a boy or girl today. I know it's a little late, but I wanted to wait until the last ultrasound to find out. My mom and I were at the doctor's office and she seemed a little, different. "Mom, is everything okay?" She put her magazine down and turned to me. "Well, I don't know. Isn't someone missing from this doctor's visit?" I sighed and knew exactly what she meant.

"Where is Beau? He should be here, he said he wanted to help and be apart of your child's life." "I know, but he had a game today." "Really? He couldn't miss one game?" "Mom, I don't know. I told him to talk to his coach, but he never told me if he talked to him." "Well, if he couldn't miss one game, then it doesn't seem like he has really changed much." "Mom, he has changed. He is building stuff for the babies room, he comes over to see me almost everyday, and he hasn't been going out as much lately." "Well, I wouldn't hold my breath, we haven't seen him with the baby yet." Maybe my mom was right, maybe Beau hasn't really changed if he couldn't miss one game. I mean we are finding out if we are having a boy or girl today, and this we be a way for him to be more involved in the babies life. I just hope she is wrong.

~~~~~~~~~

The visit with the doctor went amazing! Beau and I are having a baby boy. When my mom and I got in the car I took a picture of the ultrasound photo and sent it to Beau since he was out of town for hockey. Hopefully he sees it and replies soon. "So Nicole, have you and Beau thought of any names?" "You mean have I thought of any names. Beau hasn't even helped with suggestions. Well, the name I liked the most for a boy was Mason, and I'm sticking with that." "You aren't going to have Beau give any input?" "No, if he wanted to choose the name then he should have given some suggestions." "I'm glad you are starting to feel the same way I do about this honey." I gave her a faint smile and we headed home. When I got home Chelsea came over to see the pictures and to talk about the baby. "Hey." "Hey Chelsea. What's up?" "Nothing, how are you feeling?" She sat down next to me on the couch. "Um, pregnant." "Obviously. So let me see the pictures." She clapped her hands as I handed her the envelope. "Oh my gosh. Is it weird like seeing this and knowing this baby is in your stomach?" "A little."

We both laughed. "So? Boy or girl?" "Boy." "Yay! What are you thinking for a name?" "Mason Drew Abrams." "That's cute. So you and Beau finally decided on a name?" "No, I finally decided on a name. Beau hasn't even given me any suggestions. So I'm not going to wait on him." "Oh, well how do you think he will feel about that?" "He shouldn't care. I mean he wasn't even at the ultrasound, so it shouldn't bother him too much." "I still can't believe he didn't go. Did he ask his coach like you told him?" "I don't know. All it does is show me that he really doesn't want to be apart of his son's life." "How do you feel about it? Like, do you even care that he wasn't there today?" "I mean yes and no. I did wish he was there and tried to show me he wants to be involved, but if he can't miss one hockey, then maybe he just isn't ready for this. Which is fine with me, I'm not going make him take care of Mason if he doesn't want to be here helping." "Yeah. Well, when does he get back?" "Tomorrow, so I have to bring it up to him when he gets back in town cause that baby room has to get done like pronto." "Well, if you need any help you know I am just a phone call away." "Thanks." I gave Chelsea a hug then she went home. I really hope that Beau didn't blow off the doctor's appointment today just because he would rather be playing hockey, cause if he did, then maybe he just isn't ready to take on the responsibility of being a parent.

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Beau finally texted me back early this morning responding to the picture.

New Text: Beau
Hey, that is really cool. I will stop by sometime today when I get back and start working on his room. Um, what are we doing for a name? I haven't really thought about it much. Have you? Well I guess I will text you when I'm on my way over. See you later.

I can't believe Beau brings up names now. Hopefully he is okay with the name I chose. I went downstairs to talk to my mom and dad about Beau coming over. "Hey honey. Did you sleep okay?" "Yeah, I slept fine." I walked to the fridge and grabbed a water then sat at the counter. "So I got a text from Beau this morning." "And?" My dad put down his newspaper and my mom continued to cook breakfast. "He basically said nothing about missing the ultrasound. He said that's really cool to the part about us having a son. And then he was like, um what are we doing for a name, I haven't really thought about it." My dad rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee. "Well, I told you Nicole don't hold your breath." "I know mom. He also said he would come by when he got back to work on Mason's room." "Well, if he is coming over I think we need to talk to him because I've seen how upset you get over this guy and I'm not going to let him keep acting the way he has once this baby comes. He needs to change his attitude and face up to the fact that he is going to be a dad, whether he is ready and whether he wants too." "Okay dad. I get what you are saying and I agree with you one-hundred percent." "Once he finishes the babies room we will talk to him." "Okay."

I sat on the couch and watched some tv while I waited for Beau to come over. I really hope the talk with my dad doesn't make things any worse then they already are.

~~~~~~~~~

About an hour went by and Beau finally showed up to work on Mason's room. We had already gotten then painting done a few weeks ago, so all that was left was putting in all the furniture and hanging things on the walls. "So how long do you think it's going to take you to build the crib and dresser?" "Um, like two hours minimum." "Okay." He started taking things out of boxes and I left so he could start working. I came back up after about an hour and he had already finished the crib and dresser so we were able to start the finishing touches on the room. Once we were done it looked great. "Did you ever think it would get done?" I put my arm around his waist and he looked around the room. "No. But I'm glad it did. Now I don't have to worry about not finishing anything in time." He gave me a kiss and then we headed downstairs to talk to my parents.

"Did you guys finish it?" My mom looked over as we came down the stairs. "Yes, finally." "Good." "The crib won't fall apart when the baby is in it, right Beau?" "Yes sir." We all laughed and then Beau and I sat on the couch across from my dad. "So Beau. We just want to talk to you about this whole situation." "Okay?" "Now, you originally told Nicole that you wanted no part in this." "Well, I didn't exactly say that, I said I wasn't really ready." "Well, do you think you are now?" "To be honest sir, I told this to Nicole the day I explained to her I wanted to be involved with our child. If she had the baby a month ago, no I definitely would not be ready, but I think I have matured and I think I will be ready when the baby arrives." "Now you say you want to be involved, but where were you yesterday when she found out the sex of the baby?"

Beau looked at the floor and then looked back at my dad. "I was out of town for hockey." "Now I understand that is what you want to do, is play hockey professionally, but isn't your son a little more important." "Yes, of course, but I really didn't want to let my team down by not showing up, and I knew I should have been there yesterday, but I really need to be at every game this year to make playing professionally a reality, so I can support Nicole and our son." "I understand what you are saying, but I have seen everything that has happened between you two, the ups and the downs, and once that kid gets here you guys are going to have realize you can't do whatever you want you have to do what is best for the baby. So no going out late while she is here with the baby, or anything like that, you really have to face up to the fact that you guys didn't take precautions and this is what happened. And you can say that you aren't ready or you are but we will see once that little boy comes around." "Okay sir. I understand." My dad left the room and Beau and I went upstairs to talk.

"Well that was pretty crazy." "Why? I mean he is telling the truth." "I know, but I know everything he just told me." "Why weren't you there yesterday? Be honest." "I had to play yesterday, there were top scouts there Nicole. Playing pro is the best way to support you and our son. By the way, what are we thinking for a name?" "I already picked one out." "Without me?" "Well, whenever I brought it up you never gave any suggestions or feedback and I couldn't wait for you to finally say something." "What is his name then?" "Mason Drew Abrams." "Oh. It's a good name I guess." "Beau what's wrong?" "I'm just upset that your dad thinks that I'm not changing and that I'm gonna be the same me once Mason gets here. You know that I've been trying. It's just still hard for me to realize that were really going to be parents." "I get that, but you need to prove my dad and everyone else that says you are gonna bail wrong. You need to show them you can do this, and if you can't then, we will cross that bridge once it comes to it, but right now, just worry about you, me, and the baby. Okay?" "Okay." He gave me a faint smile and I gave him a kiss. We talked for a bit longer then Beau had to leave. I really hope he can prove everyone wrong and be a good dad, but then again I'm not sure he is really prepared to be a dad just yet.