Good for Nothing

I felt sick with exhaustion as I neared the outskirts of my village, Poplar. I’d been running just short of half an hour even though it felt like so much longer. I just had to get away. I thought he loved me! Surely you would never do what he did if you love someone? Or had I got the wrong idea? Maybe you do need to suffer pain, both mentally and physically, to be in love; maybe that was just his way of showing how much he cared? Something felt different though tonight; completely different. It must have done; why I else would I have hurt him like that? I shouldn’t have done that to someone I’ve loved for twelve years?

I couldn’t run any further; I was at a standstill. I had never, ever been out of Poplar; I’d been institutionalised. I had no idea where to go. The road on which I had found myself stretched on, almost infinitely, in front of me. It was eerily silent. I looked up to see the clearest midnight blue sky scattered with bright white pin-pricks of light. The Oak Trees of our local nature reserve, The Rough, stood high on either side of me. I hadn’t a clue where this long road would eventually lead me to. Should I be brave and just go for it? Or, should I go back to what I know? My head told me to stop being so stupid; how far do you think you’ll get without him? My heart was screaming at me to run and never, ever look back.

I slowed my breathing and rubbed my face, welcoming the feel of my unusually warm hands on my cold skin, and then came a sudden and not at all unwelcome sense of calm; of realisation. It was time to take charge.