Good for Nothing

“What the hell do you want?” Heath shouted down the phone.

“You know full well,” Ivan replied, “How you getting on with the little whore?” Heath winced at Ivan’s question; holding the phone away from him, almost willing him to go away.

“Look, Ivan,” Heath replied, “I know I’ve got to do it; you really haven’t got to keep checking up on me. Everything’s going to plan even though I really don’t agree with it. She’s a good girl, Ivan – why don’t you just drop this?”

“What?” Ivan’s voice bellowed; the phone crackling as if the noise was too much to bear, “A good girl, huh? For Christ’s sake, Heath – you really haven’t a clue! You do remember she tried to kill me, right?” Heath nodded his head and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, of course I do,” Heath replied, “but come on Ivan, let’s face facts; you’ve been no angel. I know how you used to bully and beat her – you told me that yourself! In fact, I’d go so far as to say you BOASTED about it!”

“It’s only what she fucking deserved!” Ivan snapped.

“Why?” Heath asked sharply, “Why is that? Because she wanted to be her own person; make a life for herself?”

“SHE. HAD. ME!” Ivan’s voice thundered down the phone. “What else could she have possibly wanted?”

“Hmmmm, I don’t know,” Heath replied with sarcasm souring his tone, “Let’s start with a bit of freedom!” Heath was becoming increasingly agitated, “She was made to feel a prisoner in her own home. Your folks told me everything; they were so worried about her, as well as you. According to them, Leia had gone from being a happy, independent young woman in to a girl who wouldn’t even say boo to a goose and constantly looking over her shoulder.”

“My folks don’t know shit!” Ivan said, “Anyway, I had to keep Leia in line! She was spending way too much time with her stupid friends, going to all these so called “gigs”. I bet she was just using that as an excuse to go and screw their brains out!” By now, Heath was seething; he’d had enough!

“Right, I see; so you SERIOUSLY think that’s her style?” Heath spat, “You, Ivan, are jealous; jealous of the fact she had a life outside of YOU! Why she loved you, I’ll never know. You must have brain washed her into thinking she’d never do any better. I know I’ve got to do this; I know I owe you but that’s it – once this is over with I never want to see or hear of you again!” Heath could hear Ivan sniggering.

“Believe me, pal – I don’t care if I never see your pathetic face ever again; you’re as bad as she is!” Ivan said, agreeing with my sentiments of him, “Now, fess up; where are you?”

“We’re at The Cliffs.” Heath said, grimacing; feeling overwhelmed with regret and sadness as a result.

“How long you staying?” Ivan asked.

“For as long as it takes!” Heath replied feeling sick to his stomach.

******

“Hey,” Heath said as he plonked himself down across from me, “Sorry about that; are you okay?”

“Yup,” I replied. Heath seemed really out of sorts; he seemed agitated and maybe even a little paranoid. The restaurant was steadily starting to fill up and with every person that entered, Heath’s head shot up almost as though he was expecting someone. “Are you okay? You seem a little nervous.”

“Do I?” asked Heath, “Um – don’t know what’s given you that impression.” Heath sounded somewhat guilty; defensive. Whatever had been said in that phone call and whomever it was from seemed to have changed Heath’s demeanour considerably. I was stunned at how quickly his attitude had turned and how quickly I began to feel worried. His behaviour was really quite unnerving; I felt uncomfortable.

“Heath, I’m just going to pop to the ladies,” I said trying to sound as nonchalant as I possibly could, “I won’t be long.” I got up out of my chair and made to leave the table. Heath shot up and grabbed my wrist.

“Promise you won’t be long?” Heath pleaded, “We haven’t ordered dessert yet!”

“Don’t worry,” I replied stiffly, “I never miss out on pudding.” Heath let go of me and looked at his hand as if he couldn’t quite believe he’d just used it to restrain me. He looked back at me apologetically. I smiled before trailing me now free left hand down his arm.

Once I made sure I was out of view, I practically ran to the Ladies toilet. Heath had really scared me even though he hadn’t done a lot to make me feel that. I mean, with Ivan I was used to being pretty much, constantly scared; it was just one of those things. He thrived off of it. Heath, on the other hand, had only grabbed my wrist and even then, it wasn’t particularly tight. Heath had never hurt me yet; Heath had thus far been the consummate gentleman. What freaked me out with Heath tonight was the abrupt change in his mood and it was all after THAT phone call. I just couldn’t get my head round it.

After quickly using the lavatory, I stood at a wash basin in front of a large, long, landscape mirror. I looked at myself, wishing that my reflection could offer me some much needed advice. Nope; just me, staring back at me – nothing magical going on here. I turned the cold tap on, waited until the water became icy cold and then cupped my hands to catch the liquid. I splashed my face once, twice, three times lucky (thank God for waterproof make up) before pulling a wad of paper towels from their ornate dispenser. I patted my face gently, being careful not to smudge my lipstick and eyeliner. I stared intensely at my reflection again and let out a short, sharp breath; realising I must have been holding it in.

******

“You took your time, honey.” Heath said as he pulled my chair out for me, “Everything okay?”

“Yes; sorry Heath,” I replied, “the wine’s gone straight to me head. I just needed to freshen up a little.” Heath smiled as he sat back down across from me. He seemed a little more relaxed that when I left him which made me feel a bit more at ease.

“Oh, Leia,” Heath said, “I took the liberty of getting the dessert menu while you were gone. I don’t know about you but I could kill for the key lime pie right now!” Heath handed me the menu and now that I had it in front of me, I was almost drooling over the array of desserts on offer. I opted for the ‘Eton Mess (With a Twist)’. Hell knows what “the twist” was but I was having it regardless.

The singing waiter came over, after a nod from Heath, and promptly took our order. Heath picked up my bottle of Pinot Grigio and poured what was left in my glass before pouring himself the last of his own. I was feeling more and more comfortable and Heath seemed to be back to his usual self.

“Hey sugar,” Heath said as he held my hands in his, “I’m going to have to go to the men’s now; I’ll burst if I don’t! You’ll be okay here, won’t you?” I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Of course I will, Heath.” I replied, “I’m a big girl, you know; I’m sure I can look after myself.” Heath shot me a cheeky grin before heading in the direction of the men’s toilet. I looked down at my glass of wine; it seemed such a shame for it to be the last drink of the night, so with a new found flash of confidence, I called the waiter over.

“Yes Madam?” The waiter asked politely.

“It’s probably not one of my better ideas,” I proclaimed, letting my sense of humour flow out, “and I know I’ll most likely regret it in the morning,” I went on an the waiter laughed, nodding his head in agreement, “but I’d like to order just an extra glass of wine, please.”

“Just for yourself Madam?” The waiter asked, “Or would Sir like another glass too?” I nodded; why the hell not!

“That would be lovely,” I replied, “Thank you so much.” The waiter walked away, leaving me to wait for Heath whilst I nursed what little wine I had left in front of me.

Ten minutes had passed and still no Heath. I know I was gone a while earlier but this felt like an eternity. The singing waiter reappeared and asked if I was okay and told me he would bring the desserts out once Heath had returned. His absence was infuriating; almost twenty minutes now and in my book, that was just way too long a time to leave your date waiting. I was furious; I hadn’t felt this angry in a long while. To try and dissuade my need to give Heath a mouthful of abuse when he got back I decided that twiddling my thumbs, tapping the table and necking the rest of my wine was the best course of action.

I didn’t want to look up as Heath sat back down in his chair for fear of launching myself across the table at him. He remained totally silent which considering how I was feeling was probably a good idea. He eventually let out a small cough; that’s all it took. I looked up, poised and ready to shower my well thought out tirade of abuse but was stopped dead in my tracks. It wasn’t Heath sitting before me.

******

“Hey Leia.” Ivan said jovially, as if we were just old friends meeting up for lunch. I was still in total shock and scared out of my wits. I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“Cat your tongue?” Ivan asked. The sneer on his face repulsed me. If I would have had the courage to do so, he would have had a cold, hard slap. The reality, however, was far from that. I so wanted to just “man-up”; say something – make it look as if he wasn’t getting to me.

“It’s really good to see you, honey.” I van said, creeping and crawling his way back into my head. This guy’s a professional mind-gamer. “I was just saying to Heath the other day………..” My voice erupted through my scared silence.

“Heath?” I shot, “You talked to Heath?”

“Oh yeah; we’re good friends,” Ivan replied and I could see the smirk spreading across his face, “we know each other too well!”

“What? How?” I asked, my voice trembling.

“Oh, of course; you didn’t know, did you?” Ivan asked back, feigning some sort of sympathy. “He’s never told you about us, has he; about how we met; about how we’ve always been friends?” I shook my head, trying desperately to dispel the images that were quickly forming. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how the two of them could ever be friends; they were poles apart when it came to personality and how they treated women.

“Oh Hun; I’m so sorry,” Ivan said, “I just assumed it would have been one of the first things he told you, you know – what with our past and all that.” I simply couldn’t get my head round this; I could not believe what was happening.

“Where is Heath?” I asked abruptly; accusingly.

“What do you mean, ‘where’s Heath?’” Ivan asked, his tone suddenly becoming darker.

“I mean it Ivan; WHERE IS HEATH?” I asked again, this time finding my backbone. “You obviously knew we were here!” The minute I asked that, it dawned on me; Heath’s interrupting phone call could have only been from Ivan – it had to be. Heath had bought him to me on purpose.

“Well, I suppose Heath did kind of mention that you would be here,” Ivan replied, “so I thought, you know what; I’ll pop my head in and say hello.”

“You’re not here just to say hello, Ivan,” I shot back, “You would never have come all this way for that – you’re too lazy!” Oh hell, my confidence was shining but I know it would be my downfall.

“Lazy, huh?” Ivan asked; the look on his face deadly serious. He laughed. “Yup, that’ll be it; I’m just a lazy shit that can’t be bothered, right?” Inside I nodded in agreement; outside, I remained stoic.

“Come on, let’s have it!” Ivan urged.

“Ivan, I am not going to argue with you. I had enough of that when we were together.” I said, meaning every word, “I just want to know where Heath is.”

“You want to know where he is.” Ivan asked, seething with anger, “You want to know where your ‘new-man’ has got off to?”

“Yes,” I replied simply, “Finally!”
“Your boyfriend left the minute I got here. He said his work was done since I was here; he’s washed his hands of you already, angel!” Ivan knew he’d got me now.

“No; he wouldn’t do that!” I said, more to convince myself than to paint Ivan as a liar.

“He would and he has you stupid bitch!” Ivan growled, “You really think anyone would want you; you’re good for nothing!” My confidence failed me now and as much as I really didn’t want to, I could feel myself on the verge of tears. I choked them back; for how long, I couldn’t tell.

“What did he mean by ‘his work is done’?” I asked, just managing to keep my voice from breaking.

“Well,” Ivan replied, playing with the used napkin in front of him; Heath’s napkin, “exactly that. He’s done this for me; he owed me!”

“I..I…. don’t understand.” I said but in my heart of hearts, I think I knew what he was getting at.

“Well, I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything less from you, should I?” Heath looked at his nails and started to pick them, “You’re not exactly the sharpest tool in the box, are you? You never were.” Now I was angry; he’d managed to push me right over the edge. All that was left of my fear went flying through the window. Just as I was about to give Ivan what for, he butted in.

“Heath owed me BIG style!” Ivan began, “Let’s just say he grassed me up; turned me in to the Police. I would have got away with it if he would have just kept his mouth shut.” I suddenly realised that things were going from bad to the very worst.

“Well, there was obviously a reason why he gave you up,” I said, “What did you do?”

“Hmmm – I think I’ll let Heath fill you in on that if you ever see his sorry fucking face again,” Ivan spat, “all I’ll say is we both ended up in prison but because he was such a good boy and told the truth; told the Police what they wanted to hear – I ended up in the slammer for longer.”

“So what exactly does all of this have to do with me?” I asked, angry that I was being dragged in to something that had absolutely nothing to do with me.

“Oh, nothing,” Ivan laughed, “nothing at all. Here’s where you come in; you screwed me over Leia. I did nothing but love the bones off you; I cared for you – I looked after you, and how did you repay me? You tried to fucking kill me, that’s what!”

“I didn’t ever try to kill you, Ivan,” I snapped back at him angrily, “You beat every ounce of confidence, self respect and dignity out of me; you pummelled it out. When I’d finally took more than one person should ever have to put up with, I used what little strength I had left to try and make you feel EXACTLY how you made me feel. I wanted to hurt you, so badly, but I never wanted you dead!”

“Well, anyhow,” Ivan said, nonplussed, “that’s when I thought I’d cash in with Heath. I told him to follow you out of Poplar; I knew you were going even as I lay there on the kitchen floor. You’d always talked about it; said it would be a better life. I told Heath to follow you; to know every single thing possible about you. I told him to bring me to you; I told him you’ll never love or be with anyone else other than me. You belong to me Leia; I’m never letting you go ever again. That’s a promise!”

All I could do was shake my head, slowly, both in disbelief and total realisation. So, Heath’s job was done and that’s why he left the restaurant. He took me there to hand me over; this weekend was just a ruse; one big set up. He didn’t like me – he never had. I was just a package that had to be delivered. I was NOTHING to him. This was all I could think about as I sat in my silent stupor. I was swiftly ripped from my silent stupor as I felt Ivan shove me from behind before discreetly dragging me up from my seat.

“Come on Leia; we’re going home!”