Don't Let Nobody Take You Down

Pogo has never liked me. Since day one, we have barely spoke, even when I have tried. It is like he has some huge problem with me. At first I thought it was a phase that would pass but I've been here for just over half a year now and it hasn't calmed down much. I let it slide, it was awkward, uncomfortable and even scary at times but I'm trying to deal with it. I enjoy this band, touring, playing music and hanging out with them. Well Ginger more than anybody. Manson was very welcoming and Twiggy was nice too, during the tour them two barely left each others side so it was easier, and more enjoyable to be honest, to stay with Ginger. I would of done the same with Pogo if he wasn't this way.

It pretty much started from the first time we met, our first rehearsal as a band. I had arrived with Manson himself, he introduced me to Twiggy before the two shared a quiet conversation. So I started to set up my guitar on the other side of the room, I introduced myself to Ginger, who is a very shy man but it was still a comfortable conversation, generic but nice. Shortly after Pogo walked in, I looked up ready to greet my new band mate, Manson scolded him for being late, not harshly or anything. The kind of way that friends do. Before telling him who I was, Pogo looked in my direction but not at me and mumbled something then continued to get his equipment out. We gathered around ready to play but Pogo looked at his keyboard confused and confessed he had forgotten parts. This was great, I had learned his parts as well as my own, I could prove to Marilyn that I am talented. This was important as I have been such a huge fan of him and the band for a long time. I could also make up for mine and Pogos odd first meeting and he would appreciate what I did. However as I announced I knew his parts too and turned to help him, his expression turned to anger. He started shouting and then Manson started shouting and before I knew it they where arguing. This escalated to the point where Manson said the tour was cancelled. I stood there awkwardly, Twiggy was expressionless and Ginger just scrached the back of his head and sighed while the shouting continued. (They where obviously used to this and I am now too.) Of course the tour wasn't cancelled and we got to practice a couple of days later, again I didn't even get a "hello" from Pogo when he entered the room. This was my first rehearsal and first glimpse into this crazy world I now live in.

About a month into me joining the band there was a after party, partys aren't my thing but I decided to go along. It would be nice to spend time with the guys and try and bond with Pogo. This oppurtunity arose almost as soon as I entered the area of the party. Pogo was sat there alone on a couch. Perfect,
"Hey Pogo! how are ya?" I said as I approached him, but I got no answer. The music was loud and he is known to zone out and go into his own little world. So I tried again;
"Hey Pogo, how are ya?" but again, no answer. I took a step closer, feeling silly. Maybe the music was really loud. So once more,
"Hey Pogo, how ar-" I was cut off my Pogo, still looking in the other direction, waved his hand my way and said, "I'm not even going to say hello to you, you won't last six months." before walking off into a crowd of people and out of my view.
I was left stood there mouth agape in complete shock. Firstly, he had no right to tell me how my career would go or to judge my musical ability and secondly, I know we hadn't got the chance to talk the last month, but I had always been polite to him and truth be told, I thought that comment was hurtful.
I let it go though, just shrugged it off. I was so desperate for him to like me at this time. It would just be a lot easier since we where touring together. But he was ignoring me all the time and when he did notice me he was just passing nasty comments. It created a bad atmosphere for everyone. None of them minded too much though, Manson and Twiggy noticed it once and just told me to ignore him, Ginger caught on to one of said nasty comments and got so defensive, something none of us seen coming from the shy drummer. Pogo was shocked too and actually did shut up. I thought that was pretty adorable of Ginger too do, not that I would admit but I did thank him.

I thought I found my answer for all of this attitude one night at a hotel. There was no partys and no room sharing, both a rare occurrence but one I was rather looking forward to. I could lay on my bed, order food, put on some crappy TV show and strum my guitar. A perfect way to relax. After showering and getting dressed again I was about to start my lovely plan. But this was interrupted by knocking, which soon became frantic banging. This startled me, was something wrong? was there a fire? was somebody hurt? Ginger? I practically ran to the door and got it open. To my surprise, and horror, Pogo came storming in. I backed into my room, too shocked to say anything but he saved me the trouble;
"YOU HAVE BLONDE HAIR, YOU CAN'T HAVE BLONDE HAIR" I was in shock and scared, my heart was still pounding and my breath was shaky from the unexpected outburst. If my body wasn't in this state though I would have laughed, all this time Pogo doesn't like me because of my hair? What, are we school children now? I took a deep breath and went to calmly explain something but he stepped closer and shouted again;
"I HAVE BLONDE HAIR! YOU CAN'T HAVE BLONDE HAIR!" his face still full of real anger, it is then that I realise this guy is a lunatic, he is insane. He has to be. I didn't know what to say to calm him or get him on my side, even. So I stood there, biting the inside of my lip and looking up at him. He just groaned loudly and stomped out of my room. It took me about 5 minutes to calm my body down, I closed my door and let out a small laugh. What the hell had I got myself into? I have been ignored and treated so badly all these months because we have the same coloured hair? I must admit it is funny,but never the less it still shook me up, so I locked my door. I promised myself I would check the peep hole if anybody knocked again, that was enough Pogo for the night, or the week actually.

It hasn't just been these times Pogo has directly and probably purposely creeped me out. Even today, I was sitting in the dressing room, me and Ginger talking while he stretched (which I was rather enjoying watching), Twiggy floating in and out of the room fixing his make up or checking his reflection and Pogo sat to the side. His body moving back and forth, making the table he was sitting on creek. I was the only one who noticed or was bothered by this because the others didn't seem to mind. Every time I looked over he would be staring at me, I felt his eyes on me even when I turned around. I don't know which side of is worse, the silent treatment, the abuse or the starring.

Now honestly, Pogo wasn't a complete asshole. He was odd, but so where we all. He interacted with the others fine though, he didn't seem particularly close to any of them but still, they where friends and got along. They could joke about, something I seen him and Manson do earlier, Pogo was actually giggling along with the teasing Manson was giving him. He would say stop but just giggle some more. He had a nice laugh, almost contagious and he himself seemed happy. It was actually rather...cute?
Which was a strange thing to find the man after how he was and how he has been with me. But it is true, Pogo is, erm ... cute. But creepy, very, very creepy.