The Right Man

Thoughts raced through my mind while I sat in front of this mirror. My hair and make-up all made up and a veil upon my face. So many years had gone by and I always thought I was strong, but tears were threatening to fall. I always wondered if this was what I really wanted but I suppose it was too late for that right now.

"Megan," My bridesmaid and friend, Nikki, called my name, pulling me from my thoughts and I looked over at her, "Are you ready? Your dads’ waiting,"

Putting on my best smile I nodded, "I think I am," I stood up straightening out my white dress and walked toward her slowly.

We walked into a part of the chapel that lead to the altar and I took a small peak down the aisle where my friends and family sat waiting and future husband standing at the very end. His back was to me, and it looked like he was talking to one of the groomsmen. My heart fluttered.

"You nervous?" Nikki asked, smiling as she handed me my bouquet. My face dropped.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, pulling the veil over my head to look at her a little better.

"Are you kidding? You're paler than usual, babe." She smiled sadly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked away embarrassed, until she spoke again, "What is it?"

I looked at her, taking a shaky breath, then back down the aisle, "You think I'm making the right decision, Nik?"

She came and stood next to me, now the both of us watching my future husband.

"Do you love him?" I looked back at her, a bewildered look on my face, until I really thought about the question.

----------

It was a rainy afternoon as I sat at home, my computer resting in my lap and I was typing away with my headphones in my ears. The music in my ears helped calm my overacting nerves.

In about a week, I was going to be Mrs. Nathan Daniels. The thought just about made me wanna puke, but the music was calming the nerves and helping the chunks fall back into my stomach. I was happy, ecstatic even. I was going to marry my boyfriend of eight years and take on a spot at the recording studio I interned at as one of their producers. So I was beyond thrilled. Life was just about perfect.

Looking at my wrist watch I noticed it was just about the time Nathan would be getting home. And as if right on cue, his black Camry was pulling into the driveway, the flash of his headlights shined bright in my eyes through the window and I quickly shut down my lap top and stood from the couch to greet my soon to be husband in the foyer of our two story home.

The front door opened as Nathan ran in, his jacket lightly damped from the rain and he was closing down an umbrella. His dirty blond hair clung to his forehead from the rain as he set the umbrella down.

"A little wet there?" I giggled as he shrugged off the jacket, a light smirk on his face.

"Just a bit" He tossed the jacket on the rail to the stairs and walked toward me, "Hi," he kissed me.

"Hey," I pecked his lips and hugged him, "How was your day?"

"Way too long," He groaned, resting his wet forehead against mine but I didn't really mind it, "Had six meetings today, all about one to three hours long,"

"Sounds like a tough day," I frowned, running his shoulders, kissing his wet cheek.

"Yeah, but knowing I'm coming home to you every night makes it a little more bearable." He smiled and a fluttery feeling bloomed in my stomach making me squirm a little.

I hated that feeling more than anything. It happened when Nathan made those comments that would make any other girl practically melt, but not me. It made me uncomfortable and squirmy. Not something I liked in the least.

"Everything okay?" Nathan wondered, frowning a little as I backed away.

"Yeah I-" The phone cut me off before I could explain, "Err.. I'll get that,"

Skipping away, I breathed a long breath of relief and picked up the phone, smiling a little at seeing one of my best friend's numbers on the caller i.d.

"Hello Zachary," I said a little too cheerily and he laughed on the other end.

"Someone's awfully perky, were you and Nate doin'' the nasty?" I could practically hear the smirk and I fake gasped,

"Zachary Baker, you know a lady never kisses and tells,"

"I know, that's why I asked you,"

"Oh you're so funny, I could just laugh myself to death," I said flatly watching as Nathan walked past me, shaking his head at me. I rolled my eyes and continued my conversation with Zack.

Nathan was very jealous of my relationship with Zacky. No matter what I had told him, he still got jealous. Zacky and I were just friends and it's been that way ever since high school when we met.

Though I did have a school girl crush, I never did anything about it since he had girls practically lined up at his door step to date him. So we remained friends. Years went by after high school and where we sort of did our own thing for a while and that's when I met Nathan and fell in love all over again. It was a happy moment and I didn't think I could be any happier.

"Whatever. So we still on for drinks?" Zacky asked.

"Of course, Meet up at Johnny's in about, say.. Half hour?"

"Yep, last person there has to buy the first round, BYE!" I winced as he yelled the last part in my ear and hung up.

I chuckled and slammed the phone down as I went in search of my car keys.

"Going somewhere?" Nathan asked from the dining room where he was working on his computer and I saw my keys on the table next to him.

"Zacky and I are going for drinks, wanna come?" I asked walking over to the table and reaching for the keys, only to have them snatched from my reach.

"No, and you’re not going either," He said sternly, looking back at me and away from his computer screen.

“What?” I snorted, thinking he was joking with me for some reason, but his look told me otherwise.

“Did I stutter?” He questioned, “I don't want you going out tonight,”

I narrowed my eyes, “Um, I didn’t know I had asked for your permission.” I rested my hand on my hip, walking toward Nathan with a stern look to match his. “So please give me my keys so I can go out with my friend,”

Eyeing me, he reluctantly stretched his arm out, holding the keys for me and I quickly took them out of his hand before he could change his mind.

“Thank you and I promise I won’t be home no later than eleven thirty,” I smiled, leaning down and pecking his lips, “I’ll see you later,”

He kissed me back and I turned to walk away. I got my jacket and headed toward the door as he spoke again; “Have fun, love you..”

I paused, and looked over at my now frowning fiancé, “Love you too,”

----------

My heart jack-hammered in my chest as I continued to psyche myself out about this wedding. Nikki was still expecting an answer but I couldn’t answer her. My throat was getting tight at the thought of my hesitance. Did I love him? Sometimes I wasn’t sure but, all I knew was, I needed to get my shit together before this wedding started.

“Megan?” Nikki was now in front of me, holding my shoulders and I shrugged her away, shaking my head.

“I-I need a minute,” I choked out, thrusting my flowers back into her hands and high tailed it back into the dressing room, shutting and locking the door behind me. My breathing was ragged and fast, it was hard to take a normal breath and the pounding in my chest was not helping in the least.

I slid down on the floor against the door, hugging my legs to my chest and hid face in my knees, trying to control my breathing.

----------

Drinking with Zack was always an adventure. Unfortunately I was the last to get there and I bought the first round of beers. We hung out, talked, shot the shit and reminisced about old times, like high school and college. But we mostly talked about our jobs. He was a guitarist for a popular band here in Huntington Beach and he often toured across the country for months at a time. He was currently on break. There wasn’t a lot of wedding talk since Zacky wasn’t a big fan of weddings. He didn’t believe in it or something. But when we hung out he sure had a lot to say about Nathan.

“So how is good ol’ Nate these days, still some hot shit businessman?” Zacky asked before chugging down what was left of his fourth beer while I was still in the middle of my third.

I rolled my eyes and nodded at his choice of words. “Yes he is.”

“That’s cool, so he’s the bread maker and you’re gonna be his little housewife once he gets that ring on your finger?” He said smirking as he waved the waitress over.

“Um not quite, dude. I’ve got me a job lined up, remember?” I raised an eyebrow while setting my beer on the table. “No ‘barefoot and pregnant’ days for me,”

He laughed, “Nah, you’re not the type.” He said after the waitress brought him another beer.

“So how’s Gena?” I asked, changing the subject. Gena was his on and off again girlfriend. I wasn't real sure if they were together or not and with the amount of breaking up and getting back together, I could never really keep up anymore.

“Okay, I guess. I wouldn’t know,” He shrugged nonchalant.

“Break up again?” I smirked.

“We didn’t even get back together the last time we broke up,” He muttered, “I’m over her and her bullshit. I’m better off without her,"

I nodded in understanding, finishing off my beer as I checked my wrist watch. Eleven fifty. I was late.

“Shit, it’s eleven fifty, I gotta go.” I muttered, quickly gathering my jacket and Zacky jumped up too.

“What? Really?” He asked.

I frowned, “Yeah, I told Nathan I would be home at eleven thirty and its ten minutes after,”

“I’ll see you later,” I smiled going to walk past him but he stopped me suddenly, pulling me back in front of him.

“Nate can’t handle you gone for a few hours?” He raised a questioning eyebrow. I rolled my eyes.

“You know how he gets,” I muttered walking past Zack, “Its bad enough that he doesn't like you, he's probably gonna be pissed when I get home. Walk me to my car,”

Zacky threw some cash on the table before following me out. The weather was clear, no more rain but I could still make out some rain clouds. I searched my pockets for my keys once we got to my car and pulled them out as Zacky spoke, “This is really shitty,”

“What is?” I asked while I unlocked my car door and turned around to see the sad and serious look on his face.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “How often do we get to see each other? I mean- I don’t know..”

"What?" I snorted, leaning against the car, "You need to lay off the drinking for a while dude,"

“I’m trying to be serious here, Megan, I-I..” He paused running his hands through his shaggy hair, I frowned, “Okay, I need to get this off my chest before it’s too late,”

“What-“ Before I knew it, his body was against mine, trapping me between the car and him and his soft plush lips met mine. I gasped into the kiss, tasting the beer and cigarettes on his breath as we kissed and I quickly clutched onto his shoulder, trying to push him off but I couldn’t. Something inside me wouldn’t function in order to make me push him away. I tried convincing myself that it was the alcohol clouding my judgment and I wasn’t really thinking straight, but once I felt his tongue swipe my bottom lip, begging for entrance, my mind just became a blur. His big and calloused hands held my head in place as he pulled away, letting our now swollen lips linger for a moment and leaving me in a daze. My head got fuzzy and I thought I might pass out.

"Zacky, I-"

“Don’t marry him,” He whispered to me softly and I gathered the nerve to reply.

“I-I have to,” I whispered

“No you don’t,” He brought my head up so we were looking at each other directly in the eye, “You can leave him… and be with me.”

I blinked, watching as his eyes swirled with so many emotions as he held me closer than he’s ever had in all the years I had known him. It was so random how he was basically asking me to be with him. He must have been drunk.

“You’re drunk,” I muttered, pushing him off me, “Get in the car and I’ll drive you home,”

“No, god damn it!” He barked, grasping my shoulders tightly and making me jump, “You can’t marry him, Megan, he isn’t the right man for you,”

“Zack, let me go, you’re hurting me,” I pushed on his chest and after a few moments he thankfully he complied, releasing my shoulders and stepped back. "Now, let's get in the car and I'll take you home,"

"No, we need to talk about this, I know you love me and I love you, and I may not be the best choice for you, but it's better than that fucker!" He told me.

"You don't even know him!" I shouted.

"I know that he's gonna try and control you! I know that after you're married, he's going to expect you to turn down that job and fucking stay at home and take care of him!" He shouted back, and this time I got angry.

"So what, you expect me to call off the wedding and leave Nathan then? And... and be with you while you fucking go off on tour for months on end?" I shot back and he laughed humorlessly.

"At least you'd be happy..." He retorted, this time leaving me without words, "And you'd have your job and you'd have me,"

"I can't do this, Zack. I have to go," I turned around and threw the car door open, sliding into the driver's side.

Zack was then standing next to the door after I closed it, determination drawn on his features, "Don't marry him, Megan,"

"Stop, please. Go home and go to sleep, I'll call you tomorrow," I instructed him and rolled up the window, turned on the car and sped out of the driveway as fast I could, leaving my best friend standing in the middle of the parking lot, watching.

----------

“Megan, are you okay??” Nikki asked from the other side of the door and I jumped from my thoughts. I wiped away my cheeks of the tears I didn’t know were crying and stood up off the floor. “Megan, open the door please!”

I threw open the door seeing Nikki and my Dad standing on the other side, all with worried expressions on their faces.

“Are you alright?” Nikki stepped toward me, and another fresh batch of tears pricked my eyes.

"Hope those are happy tears," My dad tried to joke but neither me or Nikki laughed.

"I need to talk to Nikki for a moment," I grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the room with me. I needed to talk to my best friend about what was happening. I'm sure these things I was feeling and thinking wasn't normal, it couldn't be. Nikki would know how to help, since she was married.

"But, we're about to start, Meg-" My dad started but I cut him off.

"It'll just take a minute, stall them, please," I pleaded before shutting the door and turning to Nikki.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"I'm not sure," I choked out, "I thought I could go through with this- I mean, I know I can it's just-" I paused as she stared at me, listening for me to go on but I didn't know how to put it into words. Instead, I just cried, "I don't know what to do, Nik,"

"Hey, hey, don't cry," She pulled me into a hug and she held me tight while I cried.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be happy but I'm just confused," I sobbed. Into her shoulder while she rubbed my back.

"About what?" She pulled me back so we could look at each and she reached over and grabbed a tissue from the vanity before handing it to me.

I sniffled, wiping my nose with the tissue before I answered.

"I'm not sure if I've chosen the right man or not,"

----------

Guilt coursed through me but I was also confused as fuck. Zacky, my best friend since our sophomore year in high school actually confessed he loved me. And no less than a week from my wedding he just springs it on me. What the fuck was happening? And why was I even stressing about it? I didn’t love him anymore.

Did I?

I shook my head. The alcohol was making everything jumble around in my head and I needed sleep now, more than anything. I made it home by twelve thirty and I got inside just as I heard thunder and another set of rain come down. I ran into the foyer before I could get wet and shut the door behind me with a sigh.

I walked into the living room only to be greeted by a small light and Nathan sitting in one of the living chairs, reading a book.

“What are you doing up?” I asked with a raised eyebrow, but I didn’t get any acknowledgement telling me that he had heard me. He just closed the book, “Nate?”

“You know, Megan…” He then looked up at me, placing his book on the edge of arm of the chair and stood up from it, looking serious and frustrated. His voice; dangerously calm. It scared me a little, “I’ve sat around here while you’ve gone out and done god knows what with Zack, because.. I don’t know, I figured you would have just been trying to get it out of your system before the wedding and all…-“

“And you thought that once we were married that I would just stop seeing my best friend?” I cut him off, crossing my arms over my chest.

“That’s not what I’m saying,”

“What is it that you’re trying to say then? Because from what you’ve said it sounds an awful lot like you don’t want me hanging out with Zack anymore…” I shot.

He sighed, dragging his hand down his face in frustration, “It’s just not going to look right, Meg. With us being married and you going out at all hours of the night with him. I know he’s been your friend since high school and I know he’s important to you, but you have to look at the situation from my perspective,” he said walking toward me, “How would you feel if I went out at night with one of my “girl” friends all the time?”

I looked away, not wanting to answer him and he continued, “Wouldn’t feel too good would it?”

“I guess not,” I replied, not looking at him, still. I felt his finger under my chin, then and he brought my head up to meet his gaze, much like Zacky did earlier. Only with Zacky, it didn’t make me as uncomfortable as it did when Nathan did it. Zacky’s words then came back to mind…

'he's not the right man for you, he's gonna try to control you!'

"Hey," Nathan's voice broke my thoughts and I looked at him. "Are you listening to me?"

"Do you expect me to be some sort of 50s housewife after we're married?" I blurted out, looking him right in the eyes I loved.

He raised an eyebrow, "50s housewife? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you expect me to turn down that producing job and stay home to take care of you?" I asked sharply.

"What?" He laughed lightly, "Baby how much did you drink?"

"Answer me!" I shouted and his laughing instantly ceased.

"I don't, at least, not right now..." He replied like it was nothing and my stomach dropped.

"Not right now? What the fuck do you mean by that??" I said, my voice a pitch higher from my new found anger and he dropped his hands down to his sides.

"Not right now, meaning when we decide to have children. You don't want to work at some shitty recording studio your whole life do you? Besides, I make enough money that you won't even need to work anymore, baby." His hands were on me again and he pulled me into his chest, "It will all work out fine,"

I felt myself crumbling to pieces. What Zacky had said, Nathan pretty much confirmed. Was I ready for that? Was I ready to just give up what I wanted most in life just to be some lonely housewife with what would be probably two or three kids?

"It's late,” Nathan whispered into my hair, pulling back after a while and kissing my forehead, "Let’s go to bed and you'll feel better in the morning,"

----------

Nikki and I sat on one of couches of the dressing room as she was talking me down from my episode. She told me I probably just had cold feet and that it was completely normal. I knew she wasn't just telling me what I wanted to hear because I had remembered her freaking out during her own wedding to her husband Alex.

"Do you feel any better now?" Nikki asked, rubbing my back and I nodded.

"A little bit," I smiled slightly, wiping my eyes with another fresh tissue and it was the truth.

“Good,” She smiled too, “So what are you gonna do?”

I looked around, spotting my bouquet on the couch next to me and I picked it up while standing from where I sat and walked to the vanity mirror.

“I’m gonna marry the man I love,” I replied as I began to fix my make-up and she smiled at me through the mirror.

After I made myself up again I waited at the end of the aisle with my arm around my dad’s. I was making the right decision. I knew I was. As Nikki was the last to walk down to the altar, my dad and I started walking. Everyone rose from their chairs and turned to watch me walk down the aisle, my flowers in hand and happy tears now threatening to fall, rather than the bad ones I was crying all morning. We stopped right at the end of the stairs where my groom then turned, revealing those sea foam green eyes I fell in love with my sophomore year of high school.

It wasn’t an easy decision to pick up and leave Nathan that night. I couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to see my best friend again. He was the only person who didn’t expect me to be someone I wasn’t. He knew I didn’t need somebody taking care of me and though he would be touring, that wasn’t going to stop me from working my dream job as a music producer. We would work around it and like Zacky said; I’d be happy.

Zacky smiled at me with admiration and love, as he stepped toward my father and I and I literally shook with excitement. My dad handed me off to him after he kissed my cheek and Zack and I walked up the steps.

“So much for not believing in weddings, huh?” I whispered to him after the minister started and Zacky chuckled.

“I lied… sort of,” He murmured back, and I smiled wider, holding his hand tight.

I knew I found the right man.