Quell

Once we're inside the Justice Building, I am led to a lush room with thick, soft carpets and velvet couches and chairs. I collapse on the floor and dig my fingers into the carpeting. It is incredibly plush and warm. My entire apartment could fit into this room. Twice.

My apartment. My family. My district. My life. How is this happening? How can I be going to the Hunger Games? My breathing speeds up and I feel myself beginning to panic. I am going to die.

"Calm down, Brenna," I tell myself sternly. I cannot - will not - cry. There will be cameras at the train station, and if my eyes are red and puffy from crying, I'll look weak. I'm small and plain, so I cannot afford to look weak.

I take deep breaths and prepare for the next hour. Tributes get an hour to say goodbye to their loved ones.

Lev Pearson comes to the room first. We've been working together since I was twelve, and we've become very close. He hugs me.

"Listen, Bren," Lev says solemnly. "You're a real pain sometimes. Right, you're cheeky an' sarcastic an' all. But working at th' Wheel House won't be th' same without ya. It's been a real pleasure gettin' t' know ya, an' I'll be cheerin' f'ya all th' way." He takes a deep breath, then leans closer to me.

"You're smart, Bren. You could outwit all th' Careers. You could make it. I'll save a spot at the Wheel House f'ya." He stands, ruffles my hair, and leaves.

"Good luck, Bren. Eat some Capitol food f'me," he calls, and the door shuts. Lev Pearson. I'll miss him. His optimism and his ever-present sense of humor, even in the direst of situations, and our back-and-forth banter at work. I feel myself beginning to choke up and I breathe deep. I will not cry.

Next to visit are my siblings. Wendy and Meg are sobbing. Glenn climbs into my lap and hugs me tight. Susa leans her head against my shoulder. Sanders and Eloise stand together, their faces very pale. Caleb and Colin sit by my feet. I take a deep breath.

"El, Sand, don't let any of the kids take any tesserae. Just don't. Susa and Caleb, you both need to stay in school. Caleb, if things get really tough, get a job with an after-school shift. And Sus, once you're thirteen, you do that too. And..." I inhale and try to control the tears that are threatening to overflow. "Look, whatever happens, it'll be okay. I love you, alright?" They all nod. Suddenly they are all hugging me, and then a Peacekeeper is taking them away, and they're all shouting at me, "Promise you'll try to win? Promise you'll try to come home?" and I shout back, "I promise! I swear! I love you! I love you all so much!" and they are saying I love you back and then the door shuts and I curl up into a ball and cry, even though I swore I wouldn't. The door opens again and Mother and Dad walk into the room. They sit down, silent and pale. I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything at all. Surprisingly, Mother speaks first.

"I'm sorry, Brenna," she whispers. "I'm sorry for all the years that I've done nothing. I lost Graham in the Games and now I might lose you." Her face is a mask of pain. I bite my lip.

"Will you take this?" she asks, holding something out in her hand. I look down and see that she is holding a bracelet out to me. It is made of links of metal, and I recognize it as the token that Graham wore in the arena. I nod and slide the bracelet onto my wrist.

"You.. have t' win, B- Brenna," Dad slurs. "F'... G-Grahammm. O... Okay? You h-have t'... winnn." Dad's bloodshot eyes burn into mine and I sigh.

"I'll try," I tell my parents. Mother stares at me, then, suddenly, I am wrapped in her arms.

"Brenna. Little sweet girl. I'm so sorry. I'll try to get better. Brenna, Brenna, Brenna..." The Peacekeeper comes and takes my parents away and as the door is closing Mother calls, "I love you, Brenna! Brenna! Brenna, I love you! Brenna! Bren-" The door slams and I am alone again.

"I love you too."