Games Psychos Play
Chapter 11: Tense Yoga
Nurse Patty alerted me that Dr. Brown would be taking a couple of weeks of his vacation time to visit his family in Michigan, in which I accepted as the truth because I had already felt bad about Dr. Brown and I’s previous conversation. Instead of my usual psycho analysis, I would be allotted 2 hours of “Physical Activity Time”, outside, in our gated recreational area, which was really just an area of grass closed in by thick walls, of course highly monitored by security, to do with whatever I wanted. Run, walk, dance, as long as it was free and they didn’t have to provide anything. I chose, yoga. I stripped down to my generic, hospital, white, cotton, high waist, panty and there I stood topless in the middle of the yard practicing my downwards facing dog. James in particular, was none too amused. Every time I switched positions a loud sigh would come from where he stood, and he’d roll his eyes not trying to hide his dissatisfaction.
“Is everything okay Jamesy?” I said coming into full rotation.
“Everything’s fine Gwen, just keep playing your little games.” He said, eyes forward, avoiding me.
“Oh relax; it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” I said, reminding him and myself of the times when my showers had to be monitored because I was a “Threat to the safety of other patients”. “Besides the body has to be free of all things that make one feel restrained when meditating, so just be thankful that I still have underwear on.” I said winking as I bent over, legs straight. A few guards had been coming out every now again to inspect the show, in which James would roll his eyes and shift his body over a bit to try and block me. “Come on James, we have to be out here might as well make it worthwhile.” I said, excited about my unfolding plot.
“How do you mean?” said James, his interest now peaked.
“Let’s play the question game. I ask you a question you give me an answer, and the vice versa.” I said excited to get a little insight into James’ life.
“Well who’s to say you have anything to say of my interest?” Said James, attempting to be smug.
“Let’s not do that James.” I said annoyed; new position.
“Alright then, go ahead ask your question.” James was finally beginning to relax.
“Okay, girlfriends? Who are they? Where are they?”
“Hey, one question at a time.” Said James, halfway expecting the questions.
“I never said that.”
“Doesn’t matter, I’m making it apart of the rules.”
“Okay…” I replied annoyed, “Girlfriend, where is she?”
“Well, I had a girlfriend for 2 years, parents loved her, good job, educated, and it just didn’t work out. That was about 8 months ago.”
“Why not?” I said surprised that his last relationship had been so long ago.
“Hey, Hey, Hey, I believe it’s my turn now.” James seemed to be enjoying this a little more than he had let on.
“Okay, shoot.” He pondered for a little while trying to prepare the perfect question.
“Stevie? What’s the story with that?”
“What do you mean?” I said stretching into a forward lounge with my arms in front.
“I mean, What are you guys? What is he to you?” James seemed genuinely interested.
“Stevie and I used to always say we were soul mates.” I said laughing a little at the irony of it all.
“So you’re in love with him?” James sounded disappointed.
“Stevie’s my soul mate but I don’t think we’ll ever be in love with each other.” I said.
“How can you be soul mates with someone you’re not in love with?”
“I believe it’s my turn now.” I said in need of subject change. James quieted and waited patiently. “Why didn’t it work out with the girl?”
“We just had our difference, there was nothing to work out. We wanted different things.” He said mumbling the last part.
“What did she want?” I asked.
“How can you be soul mates with someone you’re not in love with” James answering my question with another question, I had forgotten the rules.
“My grandmother used to tell me that everyone meets someone that gets them completely, makes them feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable with them. They make you laugh, they make you sad, they make you strong, they’re the better half of you. That person is your soul mate.” New position. “It could be your mom, dad, siblings, or your best friend. You can love your soul mate with all your heart, but no one ever said you had to be in love with them.”
“Yea but isn’t that the whole point of having the soul mate? I mean what’s the point of being in love if they aren’t all those things.” James asked, confused.
“No one ever said you had just one soul mate. Since when does love have rules or follow them? That’s the problem we made up all these rules for relationships when love is the one thing that doesn’t follow any.” I said standing up and doing a final stretch to finish of my workout.
“Very poetic, Gwen. “ James said shifting his eyes quickly as I was now standing upright.
“Okay now it’s your turn, what did she want that you didn’t?” I said putting on my stale white t-shirt, and shapeless white pants.
“Uh, times up.” James glanced at his wristwatch.
“Oh, no you don’t! I answered all your questions, you answer mine.” I said, arms folded, ready to stand my ground. James chuckled a little and grabbed my shackles of oppression. “Well!” I said as he began to snap the cuffs on my ankles.
“Uh, she wanted…well you know, she wanted my time.” He said rising to put the cuffs on my wrists. “She wanted me to get a different job, one that was closer, one that wasn’t so time consuming.” He said delicately holding my hands, his fingertips grazing parts of my arms.
“And?” I asked in a soft whisper. I had never heard James stutter and speak so timidly.
“And, I didn’t want to. So we ended things.” He said his face inches away from mine. We stood there for a moment, breathing heavy, and tensions high. “Shower time.” He said, moving to the side waiting for me to walk.
I began walking annoyed at the fact that James had now become what seemed like a tease. James was now playing me at my own game.
“Oh by the way, CJ is going to start taking over the night shifts now, something about Mike having surgery…” James continued to mumble about the guards switching, some problem with schedule changes, but I had heard nothing after that. My heart was beating fast, my breathing escalated, and my hands began to shake.
“Gwen?” James had stop talking.
I had never felt so tense.
“Is everything okay Jamesy?” I said coming into full rotation.
“Everything’s fine Gwen, just keep playing your little games.” He said, eyes forward, avoiding me.
“Oh relax; it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” I said, reminding him and myself of the times when my showers had to be monitored because I was a “Threat to the safety of other patients”. “Besides the body has to be free of all things that make one feel restrained when meditating, so just be thankful that I still have underwear on.” I said winking as I bent over, legs straight. A few guards had been coming out every now again to inspect the show, in which James would roll his eyes and shift his body over a bit to try and block me. “Come on James, we have to be out here might as well make it worthwhile.” I said, excited about my unfolding plot.
“How do you mean?” said James, his interest now peaked.
“Let’s play the question game. I ask you a question you give me an answer, and the vice versa.” I said excited to get a little insight into James’ life.
“Well who’s to say you have anything to say of my interest?” Said James, attempting to be smug.
“Let’s not do that James.” I said annoyed; new position.
“Alright then, go ahead ask your question.” James was finally beginning to relax.
“Okay, girlfriends? Who are they? Where are they?”
“Hey, one question at a time.” Said James, halfway expecting the questions.
“I never said that.”
“Doesn’t matter, I’m making it apart of the rules.”
“Okay…” I replied annoyed, “Girlfriend, where is she?”
“Well, I had a girlfriend for 2 years, parents loved her, good job, educated, and it just didn’t work out. That was about 8 months ago.”
“Why not?” I said surprised that his last relationship had been so long ago.
“Hey, Hey, Hey, I believe it’s my turn now.” James seemed to be enjoying this a little more than he had let on.
“Okay, shoot.” He pondered for a little while trying to prepare the perfect question.
“Stevie? What’s the story with that?”
“What do you mean?” I said stretching into a forward lounge with my arms in front.
“I mean, What are you guys? What is he to you?” James seemed genuinely interested.
“Stevie and I used to always say we were soul mates.” I said laughing a little at the irony of it all.
“So you’re in love with him?” James sounded disappointed.
“Stevie’s my soul mate but I don’t think we’ll ever be in love with each other.” I said.
“How can you be soul mates with someone you’re not in love with?”
“I believe it’s my turn now.” I said in need of subject change. James quieted and waited patiently. “Why didn’t it work out with the girl?”
“We just had our difference, there was nothing to work out. We wanted different things.” He said mumbling the last part.
“What did she want?” I asked.
“How can you be soul mates with someone you’re not in love with” James answering my question with another question, I had forgotten the rules.
“My grandmother used to tell me that everyone meets someone that gets them completely, makes them feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable with them. They make you laugh, they make you sad, they make you strong, they’re the better half of you. That person is your soul mate.” New position. “It could be your mom, dad, siblings, or your best friend. You can love your soul mate with all your heart, but no one ever said you had to be in love with them.”
“Yea but isn’t that the whole point of having the soul mate? I mean what’s the point of being in love if they aren’t all those things.” James asked, confused.
“No one ever said you had just one soul mate. Since when does love have rules or follow them? That’s the problem we made up all these rules for relationships when love is the one thing that doesn’t follow any.” I said standing up and doing a final stretch to finish of my workout.
“Very poetic, Gwen. “ James said shifting his eyes quickly as I was now standing upright.
“Okay now it’s your turn, what did she want that you didn’t?” I said putting on my stale white t-shirt, and shapeless white pants.
“Uh, times up.” James glanced at his wristwatch.
“Oh, no you don’t! I answered all your questions, you answer mine.” I said, arms folded, ready to stand my ground. James chuckled a little and grabbed my shackles of oppression. “Well!” I said as he began to snap the cuffs on my ankles.
“Uh, she wanted…well you know, she wanted my time.” He said rising to put the cuffs on my wrists. “She wanted me to get a different job, one that was closer, one that wasn’t so time consuming.” He said delicately holding my hands, his fingertips grazing parts of my arms.
“And?” I asked in a soft whisper. I had never heard James stutter and speak so timidly.
“And, I didn’t want to. So we ended things.” He said his face inches away from mine. We stood there for a moment, breathing heavy, and tensions high. “Shower time.” He said, moving to the side waiting for me to walk.
I began walking annoyed at the fact that James had now become what seemed like a tease. James was now playing me at my own game.
“Oh by the way, CJ is going to start taking over the night shifts now, something about Mike having surgery…” James continued to mumble about the guards switching, some problem with schedule changes, but I had heard nothing after that. My heart was beating fast, my breathing escalated, and my hands began to shake.
“Gwen?” James had stop talking.
I had never felt so tense.