Games Psychos Play
Chapter 5; Lights Out
"Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock..." I hate the clock. Personally I think time is one of the most important aspects of life, without time how do we measure our moments of happiness, our moments of love, and our moments of triumph. But nothing about my situation is happy; in a place like this I could never love, and my triumph? Well I haven’t quite reached that point yet. I think Nurse Patty purposefully put the loudest, noisiest, and most annoying clock in my room, just to piss me off.
For once in two months I will be able to sit with the others in the recreation room and have lunch. Once I took the disgusting lumpy genocide that they call applesauce and chucked it right at Nurse Patty’s face. She didn’t like that very much. Another time I grabbed the “spork” they give us to eat with and held it to one of the patients’ neck and threatened to end her life if someone didn’t give me more orange juice. I believe that was the last time, which landed me in solitary and from then on they brought my lunch to the room. Though joyful those events were, this white, colorless, dull room can, as expected, get a little lonely. So today with a little talk from I don’t know who, possibly Dr. Brown, I will be able to eat lunch with the others. James comes in with the shackles as usual and begins to confine me with the metal.
“Can you do me a favor today?” asks James.
“Anything for you.” I say surprised that James out of all people would be asking me of a favor.
“Behave yourself today.” He said.
“Aren’t I always?” I said cunningly.
“I’m serious.” He said jerking my leg softly but stern. “I had to talk a lot of people into letting you do this today, including Dr. Brown, and Patricia.” It hurt to hear that I wasn’t deserving of this, it was just because James pulled a few strings. Yes, I had suspected that someone talked to Nurse Patty for me, but just a little part of me hoped everyone thought I changed or could change. That all this good behavior I had been doing, was worth a little bit of an award. “Promise me?” I hadn’t noticed that he was staring straight at me, his big, beautiful eyes staring straight into mine. How could I say no?
“Okay.” I whispered. He stood me up and walked me down the blank disgustingly white walls and into the rec room. I saw Nurse Patty out of the corner of my eye playing nice nurse with the other patients. There were several opportunities available for me to flip the tables, kick the chairs, grab a tray and slam into the back of Nurse Patty’s head, but I didn’t. I don’t know what was wrong but I was in a rage. How dare they? I don’t need James to watch out for me, and I sure in hell don’t need Nurse Patty’s approval. I wanted so badly to prove them all wrong, act like the good calm little patient they all wanted me to be. But who were they? I shouldn’t have to prove myself to them. I can’t lie if James hadn’t told me that I probably would’ve been on my best behavior, calm, friendly even. But even though I had promised, I knew the words were lies the second they touched my lips. This would be the worst lunch of them all, and nobody even suspected it.
James sat me down at one of the empty tables and took the handcuff that was on my left wrist and clasped it on to the railing of the table, this was a first. I couldn’t even look at James, I was infuriated. Nurse Patty came around and made sure she was the one to deliver my food to me. She plopped the tray in front of my face and the special scent of Sloppy Joes attacked my nostrils. I was close to puking but I held it together. I looked up at Nurse Patty and gave her big smile,
“Thank you Nurse Patty—excuse me, I meant Patricia.” I smiled again. James was done with the handcuffs and stood a few feet away from the table.
“Hmm, well this is new, especially coming from you.” She said.
“I promise to be on my best behavior this time.” I said still smiling. James looked accomplished, excited even to prove his point. I could be a trained dog; it just would take a little time.
“Well you know what…” said Nurse Patty “I don’t believe you. I know what goes one in the sick little head of yours. You’re plotting something aren’t you?” she waited for an answer, “and when you do, trust me I’ll be right there with the syringe in my head ready to sedate you.” She said smirking, whispering.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about” I said adding a smirk.
“Hmm” she said and walked away as quickly as that. I took a look around the room, most of the patients here at Marlborough Medical Center, where older, late 50’s early 70’s, there were a few in the 40’s but none the young age of 18 as I was. I had met most of them when I first came here, but I have to admit most of their faces along with their names became forgotten because I wasn’t allowed to interact with others. I remember the schizophrenic lady in around her mid 40’s with bright orange hair and big thick glasses. She used to be a doctor, I remember that, and then one day she just went completely off the edge, and lost it. Dr. Brown says her two sons found her in the back of her apartment digging in the trash, mumbling about a conspiracy. They come to visit every now and again, but you can see neither of them is handling it well. There’s another man I sort of remember because his wife comes to visit him almost every day; I see them on my way to Dr. Brown. He says he has extreme OCD. Not in the germ freak, everything has to be clean sort of way, but obsesses over the little things. He likes furniture to be moved, or look a certain way. He’s always rearranging the recreation room, which makes me to believe he's the new reason for the new redecoration in Dr. Browns office. Everyone else is a complete blur. There are only about 12 of us here, but still too many for me to keep track with. Especially the man with the personality disorder; he confuses everything. Zach, Tom, Cornelius, Lion, Hendrix… all names he goes by, but to him there all different people. I look around the room and I’m sure I don’t have to prove myself to any of them.
Nurse Patty comes to make her rounds, check and see how everyone’s doing until she gets to me, when her smile completely fades of her face.
“Don’t look so happy to see me, Patricia.” I say.
“I’m not” She scowls
“I know, there’s this weird thing called sarcasm everyone uses now days.” I smirked. I could see out of the corner of my eye James laughed a little; this will be so disappointing to him.
“Are you done?” She asked, taking a look down at my not yet touched tray.
“Not quite.” I said
“Well, Hurry!” She said. I picked up the spoon and dipped it into the lumpy, warm applesauce and lifted it to my mouth.
“Bring back any memories?” I said, looking at Nurse Patty.
“GO. I want to see you stuff it in your mouth, I want to witness the moment that you finally do what I tell you to do." I smiled, even laughed a little, lifted the spoon closer to my mouth, and then as quickly as I could, I slammed the spoon down, grabbed the tray and flung the food across the room and it splattered onto the wall. Nurse Patty was horrified, but she didn’t have time to react. I twisted my body and lifted the empty tray, ready to strike all my force into the side of her face. James was quicker than I was, He was already sweeping across the room and grabbed my arm, and pushed Nurse Patty out of the way just in time. I then diverted my attention to him, squeezed my arm free, and put all my effort in striking him with the tray; it did. Right in the back of his head it hit, but not hard enough. I went for the swing again, him half on top of me, he grabbed my arm and it pushed it towards me, dipped his head out the way, and the tray smacked me right in my face. I went for another swing, but not even with half as much effort as the first three, I was dizzy and my sight was blurring. I tried to knee him, smack him after the tray was dropped, but he held my knees down with one hand, and my arm with the other. I could feel the needle poke me in my right shoulder, but it wasn’t Nurse Patty, someone else, for some odd reason that gave me satisfaction. Lights out.
For once in two months I will be able to sit with the others in the recreation room and have lunch. Once I took the disgusting lumpy genocide that they call applesauce and chucked it right at Nurse Patty’s face. She didn’t like that very much. Another time I grabbed the “spork” they give us to eat with and held it to one of the patients’ neck and threatened to end her life if someone didn’t give me more orange juice. I believe that was the last time, which landed me in solitary and from then on they brought my lunch to the room. Though joyful those events were, this white, colorless, dull room can, as expected, get a little lonely. So today with a little talk from I don’t know who, possibly Dr. Brown, I will be able to eat lunch with the others. James comes in with the shackles as usual and begins to confine me with the metal.
“Can you do me a favor today?” asks James.
“Anything for you.” I say surprised that James out of all people would be asking me of a favor.
“Behave yourself today.” He said.
“Aren’t I always?” I said cunningly.
“I’m serious.” He said jerking my leg softly but stern. “I had to talk a lot of people into letting you do this today, including Dr. Brown, and Patricia.” It hurt to hear that I wasn’t deserving of this, it was just because James pulled a few strings. Yes, I had suspected that someone talked to Nurse Patty for me, but just a little part of me hoped everyone thought I changed or could change. That all this good behavior I had been doing, was worth a little bit of an award. “Promise me?” I hadn’t noticed that he was staring straight at me, his big, beautiful eyes staring straight into mine. How could I say no?
“Okay.” I whispered. He stood me up and walked me down the blank disgustingly white walls and into the rec room. I saw Nurse Patty out of the corner of my eye playing nice nurse with the other patients. There were several opportunities available for me to flip the tables, kick the chairs, grab a tray and slam into the back of Nurse Patty’s head, but I didn’t. I don’t know what was wrong but I was in a rage. How dare they? I don’t need James to watch out for me, and I sure in hell don’t need Nurse Patty’s approval. I wanted so badly to prove them all wrong, act like the good calm little patient they all wanted me to be. But who were they? I shouldn’t have to prove myself to them. I can’t lie if James hadn’t told me that I probably would’ve been on my best behavior, calm, friendly even. But even though I had promised, I knew the words were lies the second they touched my lips. This would be the worst lunch of them all, and nobody even suspected it.
James sat me down at one of the empty tables and took the handcuff that was on my left wrist and clasped it on to the railing of the table, this was a first. I couldn’t even look at James, I was infuriated. Nurse Patty came around and made sure she was the one to deliver my food to me. She plopped the tray in front of my face and the special scent of Sloppy Joes attacked my nostrils. I was close to puking but I held it together. I looked up at Nurse Patty and gave her big smile,
“Thank you Nurse Patty—excuse me, I meant Patricia.” I smiled again. James was done with the handcuffs and stood a few feet away from the table.
“Hmm, well this is new, especially coming from you.” She said.
“I promise to be on my best behavior this time.” I said still smiling. James looked accomplished, excited even to prove his point. I could be a trained dog; it just would take a little time.
“Well you know what…” said Nurse Patty “I don’t believe you. I know what goes one in the sick little head of yours. You’re plotting something aren’t you?” she waited for an answer, “and when you do, trust me I’ll be right there with the syringe in my head ready to sedate you.” She said smirking, whispering.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about” I said adding a smirk.
“Hmm” she said and walked away as quickly as that. I took a look around the room, most of the patients here at Marlborough Medical Center, where older, late 50’s early 70’s, there were a few in the 40’s but none the young age of 18 as I was. I had met most of them when I first came here, but I have to admit most of their faces along with their names became forgotten because I wasn’t allowed to interact with others. I remember the schizophrenic lady in around her mid 40’s with bright orange hair and big thick glasses. She used to be a doctor, I remember that, and then one day she just went completely off the edge, and lost it. Dr. Brown says her two sons found her in the back of her apartment digging in the trash, mumbling about a conspiracy. They come to visit every now and again, but you can see neither of them is handling it well. There’s another man I sort of remember because his wife comes to visit him almost every day; I see them on my way to Dr. Brown. He says he has extreme OCD. Not in the germ freak, everything has to be clean sort of way, but obsesses over the little things. He likes furniture to be moved, or look a certain way. He’s always rearranging the recreation room, which makes me to believe he's the new reason for the new redecoration in Dr. Browns office. Everyone else is a complete blur. There are only about 12 of us here, but still too many for me to keep track with. Especially the man with the personality disorder; he confuses everything. Zach, Tom, Cornelius, Lion, Hendrix… all names he goes by, but to him there all different people. I look around the room and I’m sure I don’t have to prove myself to any of them.
Nurse Patty comes to make her rounds, check and see how everyone’s doing until she gets to me, when her smile completely fades of her face.
“Don’t look so happy to see me, Patricia.” I say.
“I’m not” She scowls
“I know, there’s this weird thing called sarcasm everyone uses now days.” I smirked. I could see out of the corner of my eye James laughed a little; this will be so disappointing to him.
“Are you done?” She asked, taking a look down at my not yet touched tray.
“Not quite.” I said
“Well, Hurry!” She said. I picked up the spoon and dipped it into the lumpy, warm applesauce and lifted it to my mouth.
“Bring back any memories?” I said, looking at Nurse Patty.
“GO. I want to see you stuff it in your mouth, I want to witness the moment that you finally do what I tell you to do." I smiled, even laughed a little, lifted the spoon closer to my mouth, and then as quickly as I could, I slammed the spoon down, grabbed the tray and flung the food across the room and it splattered onto the wall. Nurse Patty was horrified, but she didn’t have time to react. I twisted my body and lifted the empty tray, ready to strike all my force into the side of her face. James was quicker than I was, He was already sweeping across the room and grabbed my arm, and pushed Nurse Patty out of the way just in time. I then diverted my attention to him, squeezed my arm free, and put all my effort in striking him with the tray; it did. Right in the back of his head it hit, but not hard enough. I went for the swing again, him half on top of me, he grabbed my arm and it pushed it towards me, dipped his head out the way, and the tray smacked me right in my face. I went for another swing, but not even with half as much effort as the first three, I was dizzy and my sight was blurring. I tried to knee him, smack him after the tray was dropped, but he held my knees down with one hand, and my arm with the other. I could feel the needle poke me in my right shoulder, but it wasn’t Nurse Patty, someone else, for some odd reason that gave me satisfaction. Lights out.