Whirlwind

I believed in a lot of things; working hard, being kind, and making the most of what you are given are just a few things that stuck out in my mind. I didn’t believe in things such as dreams coming true or happily ever after.

And I knew exactly where these beliefs came from. I suppose that it started when my parents divorced and continued on when my father left my mother and I broke and ended when my mother died from breast cancer. Nothing in my life had come easy. Iwas thrown into adulthood at a young age, though I managed to make it through high school and surprisingly college.

I had started working to help my mom at the age of fifteen, studying and doing homework in the hours I had free between getting off from work and going to school. Many were surprised that I tried so hard, managed to continue on once my mother was gone. I clawed my way to the top, tirelessly working and fighting my way through life, trying to get through each day. I had to.

I was determined to have an easy future, give my children (if I ever had any) a good life. Life had been difficult for me so far, and I didn’t want my children to sacrifice their childhood for my sake. I didn’t think anyone should go through what I had to, struggling day in and day out. It was no way to live.

Somehow, through everything, I had managed to stay strong and had been able to hold myself together. It wasn’t until the day after I graduated from college, now the proud owner of a bachelor’s degree in psychology that I broke down.

I paced around my small apartment, tugging at my dark hair as I finally cried. Cried for my parents’ divorce, my father not supporting me or my mother in any way, my mother dying, not being able to have a normal life. Everything crashed down around me, and I worried that I had nothing to show for everything except a good amount of money in a savings account and my bachelor’s degree. This is where my adult life should have started, where I should have started worrying about a real job. But all I wanted to do was get away.

Making a rash decision, which is something I never did, I found myself at the airport, suitcase packed and a plane ticket to London clutched in my hand. I would do something for myself for once, go somewhere I wanted to go, and not worry about anyone or anything. I was going to take a much needed vacation from reality.

---

I had a boyfriend once, someone I thought I could love. But after taking my virginity before dumping me, and the thought of my parents’ failed marriage always looming in the back of my mind, I figured love wasn’t for me. Besides, who knew if love even existed with the amount of divorces there were nowadays.

Though I knew some people would beg to differ, I wouldn’t consider myself a slut or a whore. I was comfortable enough with myself to sleep around, when I felt the need to. For me it was a way to relax, to let loose, and just get some human contact. Nothing more. I did have some needs that needed to be met on occasion. Besides, I was always safe, condoms and birth control well stocked in my apartment.

When my plane landed in London, a sort of panic started to settle over me. This is why I usually thought things over before doing them. Of course the first time in my life I don’t think about what I’m doing, I end up in a strange country by myself, not knowing anyone. No one even knew I was here; not that I had anyone to tell. Maybe Colin because I liked to sleep with him once in a while (he was good in bed and I wasn’t ready to part with him yet).

When I finally made it out of the airport, I was glad to see that there were plenty of cabs around, willing to drive me somewhere… Even if I had no idea where I was going.

“Where to?” the driver of the first cab I came to said as I slid into the back seat with my luggage.

“Um, honestly I’m not sure,” I said, embarrassed that I hadn’t at least had a hotel in mind. “A nice, but reasonably priced hotel would be great, if you know any off the top of your head.”

“I know of a few,” he said, pulling away from the airport. I couldn’t help but feel impressed by his driving. It was just strange to think of driving on the opposite side of the road as well as being on the opposite side of the car. I also couldn’t help but feel relieved that there were taxi’s here and that I wouldn’t need to rent a car.

I leaned back in my seat, looking out my window, trying to relax. I was on vacation for the first time in my life, and I should make the best of it. I took a few deep, relaxing breaths, taking in the sights as they flashed by the window.

I deserve this, I thought. I smiled to myself before realizing I hardly ever seemed to smile. My smile grew. Why couldn’t I be happy for once? There was nothing wrong with it. Maybe if I was lucky, I’d meet some people here… maybe make a new friend.

I didn’t really have any friends back home. I hung out in a few different groups once in a while but I always felt awkward and they always seemed to have an inside joke that I didn’t get. I was sure if I had had a normal life that I would feel hurt and left out, but I was used to it by now. It’s just how my life went.

“We’re here, miss,” the cab driver stated as the car came to a stop. I pulled out my money, glad I had had enough sense to get it changed to the correct currency.

“Thank you,” I said, handing him the money and getting out onto the sidewalk in front of a hotel that looked pretty nice. I headed inside and straight to the front desk.

The woman behind the desk smiled at me as I approached.

“How can I help you?” she asked. If I was going to be completely honest, my favorite thing about this trip so far was the British accents… there was just something about them.

“Hi,” I said. “I was wondering if you had any rooms available?”

“Let me check,” the woman asked. I saw her nametag, noting that her name was Elizabeth. After a few clicks on a computer mouse and the clacking of the keyboard, Elizabeth looked at me and smiled. “We have a single suite available. It’s a bit more than just a single room, but I can guarantee it’s worth it.”

“That’s fine,” I answered. I had saved up quite a bit of money over the years; for what, I wasn’t sure.

“Wonderful,” Elizabeth said. “I just need a credit card-- and how long will you be staying?”

“Oh, um,” I started, trying to think quickly. I’d have to remind myself not to do spur of the moment things ever again. “Two weeks should be good.”

I pulled out my credit card and handed it to Elizabeth. A few minutes later and I was being handed my room key and being told to enjoy my stay.

I headed for the elevators and when I stepped into one, I saw the hotel had ten floors. Checking my room number, I pushed the button for the eighth floor.

When I finally got to my room, pushed the door open, and flipped on a nearby switch, I was surprised by the spacious room in front of me. I couldn’t help but think that this was actually nicer than my own apartment and I had every intention of enjoying it as much as possible.

In front of me was a comfortable looking living room, a few comfy looking chairs and a couch facing a large flat screen TV that was attached to the wall. To my right was a very small kitchen, but a kitchen nonetheless. I figured I could cook a few meals for myself there so I wouldn’t have to eat out all the time. To the left, there was a door, behind which was the bedroom. Forgetting my suitcase in the doorway to the bedroom I went to the queen sized bed and fell back onto it, closing my eyes when I felt how comfortable it was.

I sat up after a moment and headed back into the main room. I spotted another door and when I opened it, I found the bathroom.

I smiled to myself as I glanced back around my room. I had a feeling that I was going to enjoy this.