Paint Yourself a Picture, Something Perfectly Obscure
10
“And my challenge is completed” he stated standing up and I looked at him confused “You my dear just came outside on your own without needing anyone there with you and you did it quicker than I thought you would” he explained standing up and I smiled as he hugged me.
“You so just played me Jack Barakat” I stated and he nodded “Played you well by the looks of it as well. I must admit I am proud of you,” he said smiling and I rolled my eyes. “Now come on we’ve got a date with the park swings” he said as he walked off and I watched him before running to catch up with him.
We got to the park and were sat on the swings talking when he went quiet and I sat watching him “Hey Jack” I said and he looked at me “Thanks” I said and he looked at me confused. “For everything, thanks for listening to me and for making me go out and for helping me and everything” I explained and he smiled standing up.
“I never made you do anything, you did it all yourself you just needed someone to be there while you did it” he said holding his hand out and pulling me up off the swing as I took his hand, I let go of his hand and smiled “Well thanks for being there” I said and he nodded.
“You’ve listened to my problems, so I listened to yours. Now come on lets go get headlice from Mayberry,” he said walking off and I followed him smiling. He was right, he’d listened to everything I’d wanted to say and things I never really wanted to say but felt I had to, he’d given me a hug every time I cried and he’d made every little thing I did towards being outside seem like a massive achievement. In return he’d opened up to me, talking was apparently our thing and I felt like we were good at it.
I’d never told my friends I was friends with Jack because they’d just freak out, they loved All Time Low since we’d seen them live and I’d been subjected to watching the bands dvd and countless youtube videos and he made me smile a lot. My friends liked him because he was the goofy, outgoing, funny guy that made all the band laugh and it appeared if you knew him he’d be a barrel of laughs.
I’d known him 3 weeks and I was yet to see that side of him to the extremes that it was on videos, he was funny and all of that stuff but never like that, he cracked a joke and made me laugh but I never felt like he was that guy. He’d been that guy for a while the night of his gig and it hadn’t really hit me until a few days ago that I’d not seen that in him since.
Jack to me was quiet and shy, he was someone you could mess around with and make jokes but if you made them personal he’d take it to heart without you knowing, he felt things and noticed things you said more than you did. A tiny comment about something and he’d pick up on it and he was definitely a thinker, something so small someone might not second think it would stay at the front of his mind for hours.
He was a big kid, give him candy and a Disney movie and he was happy. He loved playing with Tiger and she loved the attention from someone other than me, he was careful with everything he did.
He used the term ‘normal people’ the other day and I knew he didn’t apply it to himself, he saw himself as this damaged thing that somehow wasn’t quite up to scratch. He was that guy that you knew no matter what the problem was and no matter what time it was you could always rely on him to be there if you needed him and he’d try his best to stay beside you and I guess people like that were easy to take advantage of.
“You know that night of your gig?” I asked and he nodded as if he knew what was about to fall out my mouth already “Well I don’t know how to say this but when I saw you then and when you see videos of you guys your different to now” I said and he nodded.
“I’m the goofball who’s a bit of a dumbass but you love him none the less,” he stated and I nodded “Why aren’t you that guy now?” I asked and he shrugged “That guy is cooler than this guy, that guy wouldn’t have been into rehab or needed therapy. That guy would never let things get to him that guy covers this guy. When I feel uncomfortable with something or a bit nervous that guy comes out and he takes the scariness away. If I say something wrong then people laugh it off, if I say something wrong now I might offend someone” he explained an I nodded.
“So your not that guy?” I asked as I saw Mayberry and remembered walking down this street from school often, “I am that guy in them situations and I am that guy when I’m around the guys and we’re messing around but on an everyday basis I’m this guy. You’ve never really seen me with the guys; I can be like that with them. Alex and I are different, I’m this guy with the occasional goofy comment thrown in just for laughs” he said smiling and I smiled back.
I’d never met the others since the gig but he spoke about them often enough, Alex it was clear to see was his closest friend. Everything and anything that left his mouth could be related back to Alex in some way and it was obvious that he put all his trust in Alex and he’d never been let down by him and he loved him.
“I like this guy” I said and he smiled “This guy likes you” he said as I stopped and he looked at me, “It sometimes feels really weird to come back down here, like I’m going back to then” I admitted and he nodded as he stood next to me.
“Thinking back I loved being here but I didn’t always like the way people looked at me for it, I’ve met plenty of Alex’s in my life. Kids at school looked at you different or wouldn’t talk to you if they knew, you kind of felt like a stray dog sometimes. Nobody ever rushed to be my partner for anything, I guess it sucked a little bit,” I said sitting on the sidewalk.
“I think everyone has a bit of a sucky childhood, teaches you things for being an adult” he stated “Really?” I asked and he smiled “You learnt to never judge people, that someone is more than just where they come from and that being nice to someone might mean a lot to them and I learnt I’m not invincible and that some people treat you bad but it’s not your fault” he said and I nodded.
“I guess your right, it’s sometimes hard to catch a break. I guess I never really noticed it so much back then because I’ never known anything else but now I see it” I admitted and he smiled “That’s the point of being a kid, you don’t really notice much. It’s a big surprise that life is shit” he said and I laughed “Oh hey Mr. Pessimistic” I teased and he smiled.
“Come on Mayberry lets go home,” he said and I stood up walking next to him down the street, I jumped as I felt him grab me pulling me into his body and his grip on me was tighter than normal, I looked at him “Jack” I said but his eyes were trained on something else. “Jack” I repeated as I felt him shake and he shook his head “Get me out of here” he said quietly and I looked at him for a second before grabbing his hand.
I never even thought I just looked before running over the road pulling him with me and as we hit the other sidewalk I started to walk again but he kept hold of my hand making me walk quicker, he kept his eyes fixed on whatever he’d seen and he shook his head “He’s seen me, Dillon” he said and I didn’t like the panic in his voice.
“Jack!” a deep voice shouted and he took off running and pulled me with him, we were nearly the same height but he was slightly taller and this gave him the edge of having longer legs and a longer stride. I had to run faster just to keep up with him and I had a feeling he wasn’t slowing down anytime soon, we reached a busy patch of the sidewalk and he let me go as we dodged through people.
“Dillon” he shouted and I grabbed his hand again and he gripped it tight, he looked over his shoulder and then at the road before dragging me back across the road and running down my street. He let go as we got nearer my house and I took my keys from my pocket throwing him them as he reached my door and he opened the door pulling me inside.
He leant his back against the door and I looked at him as he tried to get his breath back and he looked at me before grabbing me and hugging me “Are you okay?” he asked and I nodded grabbing his hand and pulling him with me into the lounge. “Jack what the hell?” I asked and he shook his head as we both sat down “I’m sorry, it was…I just panicked,” he said and I nodded.
“What was it?” I asked and he sighed, “It was him, he was walking down the street towards us, I am such an idiot. I should’ve just walked past him but I just panicked and I had to get away from him” he rambled and I hugged him. “I’m sorry,” he offered and I smiled “It’s okay, are you alright?” I asked and he nodded.
“Your such a bad liar” I stated and he nodded “It was like nothing had changed, I was still that kid and I forgot everything I ever learnt” he admitted as he fidgeted and I got up but he pulled me to sit back down again this time closer to him. “I don’t get it, how can he still do that to me? I was scared still, I had to get away,” he said.
“Maybe you’ll always feel like that, some things always stay on your mind” I explained “But I don’t like that, I don’t want them to be there all the time. That sent me into drinking before and I can’t go back to that place, Alex was going to have me locked up” he admitted sounding worried.
“Jack it’s okay, you know it’s wrong to drink away problems so you just have to remember that. If your really that worried stop drinking completely” I reasoned and he nodded “Maybe I have to, did I hurt you?” he asked and I shook my head. “Sorry I just didn’t want him near you” he admitted.
“Why?” I asked “I don’t want him hurting you, I’d rather he hit me than you” he explained, “He doesn’t even know me but really? Thanks” I said and he smiled “Of course I don’t want him hurting you, I’ve maybe not known you all that long but it feels like I have. I like you a lot Dillon I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you” he said and I smiled.
That was the nicest thing someone had done or said to me in ages “Thanks and I like you a lot as well Jack” I admitted and he put his arm around my shoulders pulling me towards him and I rested my head on his shoulder. We stayed in silence for a while before he sighed, “I think I should go home,” he said standing up and I got up.
“Really are you sure?” I asked and he nodded “I should go tell my sister he’s around so she can keep a watch out” he explained and I nodded “Okay well if you want anything ring me” I said and he smiled “Thanks” he said hugging me. “Let me know when you get home okay?” I asked and he pulled away smiling “Yes mom” he said and I laughed.
“I remind you of your mother?” I asked and he shook his head “I’d hope not” he said and I looked at him confused and he just smirked as if to say I can’t believe you don’t know why, “Okay I’ll talk to you later” he said as he opened the door and looked down the street before walking off.
I waited until he texted me to say he was home fine and that he’d ring me later on and went back to my job searching seeing as it had been unsuccessful, I decided to ring Arthur seeing as he knew everyone and everything and he said he’d had a word with my old boss and I could have my old job back if I wanted it so I thanked him and rang up my old boss to accept and he said I could start next month when the girl who was doing the job currently had left.
“You so just played me Jack Barakat” I stated and he nodded “Played you well by the looks of it as well. I must admit I am proud of you,” he said smiling and I rolled my eyes. “Now come on we’ve got a date with the park swings” he said as he walked off and I watched him before running to catch up with him.
We got to the park and were sat on the swings talking when he went quiet and I sat watching him “Hey Jack” I said and he looked at me “Thanks” I said and he looked at me confused. “For everything, thanks for listening to me and for making me go out and for helping me and everything” I explained and he smiled standing up.
“I never made you do anything, you did it all yourself you just needed someone to be there while you did it” he said holding his hand out and pulling me up off the swing as I took his hand, I let go of his hand and smiled “Well thanks for being there” I said and he nodded.
“You’ve listened to my problems, so I listened to yours. Now come on lets go get headlice from Mayberry,” he said walking off and I followed him smiling. He was right, he’d listened to everything I’d wanted to say and things I never really wanted to say but felt I had to, he’d given me a hug every time I cried and he’d made every little thing I did towards being outside seem like a massive achievement. In return he’d opened up to me, talking was apparently our thing and I felt like we were good at it.
I’d never told my friends I was friends with Jack because they’d just freak out, they loved All Time Low since we’d seen them live and I’d been subjected to watching the bands dvd and countless youtube videos and he made me smile a lot. My friends liked him because he was the goofy, outgoing, funny guy that made all the band laugh and it appeared if you knew him he’d be a barrel of laughs.
I’d known him 3 weeks and I was yet to see that side of him to the extremes that it was on videos, he was funny and all of that stuff but never like that, he cracked a joke and made me laugh but I never felt like he was that guy. He’d been that guy for a while the night of his gig and it hadn’t really hit me until a few days ago that I’d not seen that in him since.
Jack to me was quiet and shy, he was someone you could mess around with and make jokes but if you made them personal he’d take it to heart without you knowing, he felt things and noticed things you said more than you did. A tiny comment about something and he’d pick up on it and he was definitely a thinker, something so small someone might not second think it would stay at the front of his mind for hours.
He was a big kid, give him candy and a Disney movie and he was happy. He loved playing with Tiger and she loved the attention from someone other than me, he was careful with everything he did.
He used the term ‘normal people’ the other day and I knew he didn’t apply it to himself, he saw himself as this damaged thing that somehow wasn’t quite up to scratch. He was that guy that you knew no matter what the problem was and no matter what time it was you could always rely on him to be there if you needed him and he’d try his best to stay beside you and I guess people like that were easy to take advantage of.
“You know that night of your gig?” I asked and he nodded as if he knew what was about to fall out my mouth already “Well I don’t know how to say this but when I saw you then and when you see videos of you guys your different to now” I said and he nodded.
“I’m the goofball who’s a bit of a dumbass but you love him none the less,” he stated and I nodded “Why aren’t you that guy now?” I asked and he shrugged “That guy is cooler than this guy, that guy wouldn’t have been into rehab or needed therapy. That guy would never let things get to him that guy covers this guy. When I feel uncomfortable with something or a bit nervous that guy comes out and he takes the scariness away. If I say something wrong then people laugh it off, if I say something wrong now I might offend someone” he explained an I nodded.
“So your not that guy?” I asked as I saw Mayberry and remembered walking down this street from school often, “I am that guy in them situations and I am that guy when I’m around the guys and we’re messing around but on an everyday basis I’m this guy. You’ve never really seen me with the guys; I can be like that with them. Alex and I are different, I’m this guy with the occasional goofy comment thrown in just for laughs” he said smiling and I smiled back.
I’d never met the others since the gig but he spoke about them often enough, Alex it was clear to see was his closest friend. Everything and anything that left his mouth could be related back to Alex in some way and it was obvious that he put all his trust in Alex and he’d never been let down by him and he loved him.
“I like this guy” I said and he smiled “This guy likes you” he said as I stopped and he looked at me, “It sometimes feels really weird to come back down here, like I’m going back to then” I admitted and he nodded as he stood next to me.
“Thinking back I loved being here but I didn’t always like the way people looked at me for it, I’ve met plenty of Alex’s in my life. Kids at school looked at you different or wouldn’t talk to you if they knew, you kind of felt like a stray dog sometimes. Nobody ever rushed to be my partner for anything, I guess it sucked a little bit,” I said sitting on the sidewalk.
“I think everyone has a bit of a sucky childhood, teaches you things for being an adult” he stated “Really?” I asked and he smiled “You learnt to never judge people, that someone is more than just where they come from and that being nice to someone might mean a lot to them and I learnt I’m not invincible and that some people treat you bad but it’s not your fault” he said and I nodded.
“I guess your right, it’s sometimes hard to catch a break. I guess I never really noticed it so much back then because I’ never known anything else but now I see it” I admitted and he smiled “That’s the point of being a kid, you don’t really notice much. It’s a big surprise that life is shit” he said and I laughed “Oh hey Mr. Pessimistic” I teased and he smiled.
“Come on Mayberry lets go home,” he said and I stood up walking next to him down the street, I jumped as I felt him grab me pulling me into his body and his grip on me was tighter than normal, I looked at him “Jack” I said but his eyes were trained on something else. “Jack” I repeated as I felt him shake and he shook his head “Get me out of here” he said quietly and I looked at him for a second before grabbing his hand.
I never even thought I just looked before running over the road pulling him with me and as we hit the other sidewalk I started to walk again but he kept hold of my hand making me walk quicker, he kept his eyes fixed on whatever he’d seen and he shook his head “He’s seen me, Dillon” he said and I didn’t like the panic in his voice.
“Jack!” a deep voice shouted and he took off running and pulled me with him, we were nearly the same height but he was slightly taller and this gave him the edge of having longer legs and a longer stride. I had to run faster just to keep up with him and I had a feeling he wasn’t slowing down anytime soon, we reached a busy patch of the sidewalk and he let me go as we dodged through people.
“Dillon” he shouted and I grabbed his hand again and he gripped it tight, he looked over his shoulder and then at the road before dragging me back across the road and running down my street. He let go as we got nearer my house and I took my keys from my pocket throwing him them as he reached my door and he opened the door pulling me inside.
He leant his back against the door and I looked at him as he tried to get his breath back and he looked at me before grabbing me and hugging me “Are you okay?” he asked and I nodded grabbing his hand and pulling him with me into the lounge. “Jack what the hell?” I asked and he shook his head as we both sat down “I’m sorry, it was…I just panicked,” he said and I nodded.
“What was it?” I asked and he sighed, “It was him, he was walking down the street towards us, I am such an idiot. I should’ve just walked past him but I just panicked and I had to get away from him” he rambled and I hugged him. “I’m sorry,” he offered and I smiled “It’s okay, are you alright?” I asked and he nodded.
“Your such a bad liar” I stated and he nodded “It was like nothing had changed, I was still that kid and I forgot everything I ever learnt” he admitted as he fidgeted and I got up but he pulled me to sit back down again this time closer to him. “I don’t get it, how can he still do that to me? I was scared still, I had to get away,” he said.
“Maybe you’ll always feel like that, some things always stay on your mind” I explained “But I don’t like that, I don’t want them to be there all the time. That sent me into drinking before and I can’t go back to that place, Alex was going to have me locked up” he admitted sounding worried.
“Jack it’s okay, you know it’s wrong to drink away problems so you just have to remember that. If your really that worried stop drinking completely” I reasoned and he nodded “Maybe I have to, did I hurt you?” he asked and I shook my head. “Sorry I just didn’t want him near you” he admitted.
“Why?” I asked “I don’t want him hurting you, I’d rather he hit me than you” he explained, “He doesn’t even know me but really? Thanks” I said and he smiled “Of course I don’t want him hurting you, I’ve maybe not known you all that long but it feels like I have. I like you a lot Dillon I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you” he said and I smiled.
That was the nicest thing someone had done or said to me in ages “Thanks and I like you a lot as well Jack” I admitted and he put his arm around my shoulders pulling me towards him and I rested my head on his shoulder. We stayed in silence for a while before he sighed, “I think I should go home,” he said standing up and I got up.
“Really are you sure?” I asked and he nodded “I should go tell my sister he’s around so she can keep a watch out” he explained and I nodded “Okay well if you want anything ring me” I said and he smiled “Thanks” he said hugging me. “Let me know when you get home okay?” I asked and he pulled away smiling “Yes mom” he said and I laughed.
“I remind you of your mother?” I asked and he shook his head “I’d hope not” he said and I looked at him confused and he just smirked as if to say I can’t believe you don’t know why, “Okay I’ll talk to you later” he said as he opened the door and looked down the street before walking off.
I waited until he texted me to say he was home fine and that he’d ring me later on and went back to my job searching seeing as it had been unsuccessful, I decided to ring Arthur seeing as he knew everyone and everything and he said he’d had a word with my old boss and I could have my old job back if I wanted it so I thanked him and rang up my old boss to accept and he said I could start next month when the girl who was doing the job currently had left.