Passenger

I heard voices, and I wanted them to stop. They had been talking for hours.

One moment, I’m at the water front with Annie, and the next I’m freezing in dark, green, algae filled vanishing.

Consciousness fades in and out, but things gradually become clearer as I force my self to remain here. I am in a hospital bed. I feel tired, and my whole body weak, and stiff. There is a brace around my neck, and I feel the uncomfortable feeling of something down my throat, and ocming out of my mouth.

I feel my wrist move just slightly, and I feel both of them bound to the surface I am laying on, strapped to my sides.

My eyes are finally and completely open, and I am blinking. My throat is burning, and my mouth is so dry.

Blinking, I glance to my side, and spot a woman dressed in baby blue scrubs- I don’t hear her come in, but I know she’s there. Her head is bowed and she walks directly next to me, and I feel her bump the bed gently. She’s checking my vital signs, and I see the pen scratching along on paper.

I open my mouth, my lips cracking, and I speak, I think I speak, because the next thing, my hearing as returned, and the nurse is screaming loudly.

She composes herself quickly, and stares into my eyes, “Karren, Karren Grant?”

I answer, but it only confuses me, as the voice I hear belongs to a child, high pitched- and I can’t help but wonder who else is here with us.

She leaves me, and I let out a scream, and the only sound that meets my ears, is the high pitched one, and I struggle, my body sore in confusion, and realization that the voice belongs to me.

The nurse comes back, accompanied by too many people for my mind to process. All the faces are the same, astounded, glad and surprised.

I feel a prick in my arm, before my eyes slowly fall closed.

❊

I’m finally sitting up. My throat, still sore, my lips still cracked, but my thirst quenched.
My arms are no longer strapped, but they feel thin, and I feel exhausted.
But I refuse to sleep, I’ve been waiting.

The Doctor’s informed me that I was hit by a car. And drowned. By some miracle, I was revived momentarily- before I was brought to the hospital and operated on for a fracture, and placed in a medically induced coma.

I had been out for twenty four days. And today, was Christmas Day.

It made sense, I guess, as my mind went to work, and took in the paper snow flakes that were taped to my hospital walls. The wreath on the window, and the colorful streamers hanging from ceiling corner to corner.

I pushed my head back, starring at the ceiling. A frown forming on my face, as I spotted a bright piece of rubber stuck to the ceiling.

I closed my right eye. Opened it, then closed my left eye. And I smiled to myself, repeating the actions with my eyes, watching as the piece of material moved ever so subtly.

“Birdy!”

I turned my head slowly, my neck out of the brace, as I smiled at my little sister who wheeled through the door, that was being held open by Lisa.

“Hi kiddo.” I said softly, and roughly, my voice still coming to terms with being in use again, “Merry Christmas.”

“You sound like you have a cold.” Annie said, parking her chair, and clambering onto my bed, with careful warnings from Lisa and my Grandmother who entered the room, “You sound like that one girl from One Tree Hill.”

I chuckled, but grew tired quickly after it, and Annie’s face fell noticeably, while she touched my cheek, “Are you okay?”

I nodded, assuring her and patted her hair delicately, bringing her closer to me, as she pulled me into a careful and cautious hug, “I will be. It’s just going to take some getting used to. Being alive again.”

Annie smiled and scooted next to me as I ran my fingers through her hair, “How are you feeling?”

Annie shrugged, “I’m fine. Better, that you’re back.”

I smiled at her, and opened my arms slowly, and tiredly, as Grandma approached the bed, as she kissed my cheeks, “Glad to have you back sweet heart.”

She hugged me tightly as she whispered in my ear, “Your- your Mother called, while you were in here, a few days ago.”

I glanced up at her, “Why?”

She glanced towards the door, and I immediately caught Lisa’s stare and nodded.

“C’mon buttercup, you have a check up on the otherside of the hospital.”

Annie sighed agitated and kissed my cheek once, before she climbed into her chair.
She looked better.

I watched as the door shut with a tight tap, and Lisa and I were left alone.

“Your boyfriend has been taking really good care of Annie.” she said to me, softly, coming towards my bed.

“I’m glad.”

We remained silent, before I she took a seat in the chair by my side, “I’m so sorry that this happened to you.”

I chuckled, feeling myself weaken by the second, “Better me then you. Who know’s what he would’ve done.”

Lisa chuckled, as tears filled her eyes, and with the arm that wasn’t attached to the nearest machine, I took her hand, “I’m glad you’re back.”

Lisa smiled, “I saw your Mother, when I was coming back home. She was in DC, she gave me her cell phone number, told me to call her if anything were to go wrong.”

I sighed, “Did you call her?”

Lisa nodded, “She said she wasn’t going to come.”

I chuckled rolling my eyes, “As expected.”

“She says,” Lisa tried, “She said, that she didn’t want to come back and build up hope and just leave again. She’d rather you hate her for this, then something more.”

Leaning against the pillow I nodded, knowing my own Mother, and knowing that she wouldn’t come.

“I’m sorry.” Lisa said squeezing my hand.

“Forget about it.” I said smiling, “You’re not going anywhere anytime soon, right?”

Lisa smiled, as I tears streamed down my face.

“You’re a pain in my ass Lisa. A bitch.” I said honestly, watching her twinge, “But you’re the only bitch I’ll let into my life, because you’re more then that. You just haven’t come to terms with it.”

Lisa laughed and she hugged me tightly, as gently, and as tightly as she could.

“I’m not going anywhere.” she smiled pulling away, “Not for a while. I have to be here, and cock block you’re every moved.”

I laughed.

“Now that wouldn’t be very fair.”

I glanced to the door, knowing who the voice belonged to instantly.
He looked exhausted, but he was here and that was what mattered.

“I’ll leave you to be.” Lisa smiled and hugged me, and squeezed my hand once more, before she stood from the chair and left the room, leaving Michael and I alone.

“Hi.” I said, watching as he walked around the bed, and took a seat where Lisa had been sitting.

His hair was longer, slightly then I had last remembered it, covering his ears slightly, and messy, sticking up in several different directions. He had stubble and as he took a seat next to me, my hand was at his face, while I smiled.

“I missed that.” he said, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” I nodded as our hands found each other, and our fingers intertwined, “I’m just ready to get out of here.”

Michael nodded as I leaned my head against the pillow following his stare. His eyes kept moving and he seemed very unsure of things, before he caught my stare and leaned in and kissed me.

The kiss felt strange, and my lips felt raw and with no emotion, but I tried. His kiss was urgent as he leaned towards me, his hands placed gently on my frame, as he caught my bottom lip and I sighed, as he slipped his tongue in, but I pulled away breathing deeply, exhausted.

“Everything okay?” he asked with wide eyes, as I nodded, “You sure?”

“I am.” I replied honestly, “Just, out... of practice.”

He chuckled and leaned towards me again, his hand on top of my head stroking my hair back, “I missed you.”

I stared at him appreciatively, “I may have been out of it, but I missed you too.”