I'm Not Okay,But I'll Find A Way

Today.
Today is the anniversary of my mother's death. I haven't left my bed for a whole week. I do this every year. I still don't know how to deal with it.
Garrett been texting me every hour all week. I feel bad for not texting him back, but I had a good reason right? Like my mum died four years ago today! I don't talk to anyone for a week because I can't deal with it and my depression is taking a horrible toll.

"Honey, I know you don't want to talking but you have a guest."
"A guest? Send them away please." I went back into back and pulled the covers over me.
"Hey." A  voice said.
I look up and see Garrett is leaning against my door way.
I didn't say anything.
"I thought you died or something." He half smiled. "Sorry for all the text. I was worried. We got a 90 on our project. All thanks to you. I never knew you were so smart. You got a talent in your brain." He tapped his head with a finger and started walking to me.
He worried about me? No, this got to a joke. No one worries about me.
I sat up and watched him walk and sit on my bed. We sat in silence until, of course, he broke it.
"So talk to me. Why haven't talked for a while."
I said nothing.
"Oh, come on you can talk to me. Were friends, right?" He moved closer to me. "We trust each other."
Were friends? He admitted it. I have a friend.
"I see here. You want me to gain the trust? I'll tell you something, then you can tell me something. Deal?"
I did nothing.
"Ooooookay. When I was five I saw this beautiful girl. So I thought I'd be cool if I climbed a to a top of the tree and swung from the highest branch.... it didn't work. I was stuck up there for three hours and a fire truck had to get me out."
I couldn't help but laugh. I felt horrible for laughing, for one at Garrett and two on my mother's anniversary.
He chuckled and looked me.
"So your turn." He placed his hand on my thigh and smiled.
When he put his hand on my thigh, a shock went through my whole body. Noone touched me, well like that. It was scary. I didn't know to do. Should I move it and seem rude or keep it there?
I coughed and said, "my mum killed herself."
I didn't even get through 'my' and I started crying. I buried my head between my knees and cried even harder.
I felt broken. I just told someone something I didn't want anyone to know. How stupid can I be!?!
I felt arms wrap around my waist and pull me close. Garrett hugged me tight, and didn't let go. I realized this was the closest I've ever gotten with a person in four years. I've cried all my tears out on his shirt, he kept telling me to cry out everything and everything will be fine.
No no, everything will not be fine. I feel like someone is holding me against my will and cutting me open. That's what I feel like right now. I'm so tired.
"I'm tired." I choked out.
"Then rest. Here get under the covers." He pulled down the covers and I laid in them.
"Here. I'm going to go. Call me when you wake." He kissed my forehead and started walking away.
"Don't go... please." I said quietly.
"Ofcourse."
He crawled into bed next to me and watched me fall asleep.

*~*
Garrett's P.O.V
I watched her sleep. Creepy, I know. I couldn't help myself. She looks so beautiful. Her braid fell on her shoulder and even if she cried countless hours on me, she still looked beautiful as ever. I watched her breathing, watched it leave her lips. I wondered what they feel like.
So her mother died from suicide. This why she doesn't talk? This opens so many doors. She'll probably won't open anymore. It seems like she doesn't tell that many people what happened.
I feel like I need to be here for her. Not because she told me. I would of been here no matter what.
I checked my phone for the time. 2:46 a.m
I gotten a text from a unknown number.
:hey...we gunna hang soon?;) -ash xoxox