Closure

The first bolts of sun crossed the blue curtains, making her stir her closed eyes in frustration. She didn’t wanna that feeling of pure happiness to go away, so she kept her eyes closed, just enjoying the sent that came from the body next to her. But most of all, she didn't wanna open her eyes and have the risk of letting go her fist normal dream in a few long years. It had been so peaceful, calm. She was so used to the same hold crazy nightmare that she had forgotten how good to have a normal dream could be

With her eyes still closed, she tightened her hold on a defined tattooed body that immediately moved with her sudden moves.

"Good morning!" she said kissing his cheek and resting her head on his, now normally moving, chest.

"Good morning beautiful!" Brian said fondling her hair "You slept well tonight."

"I know..." she said nodding her head "Not a single nightmare" she squeezed even harder on his torso and he traced ghost paths on her tattooed back.”I think he makes me well. With him here, they're all gone just like that!" she said, remembering the little toddler on the other room and how, in just a couple of days, he had managed to improve her whole world. Yeah, I’m crazy like that. I have a baby's room in my house and I regret nothing she thought how that made a great way now.

Not even the fact that she had to constantly be awake so she could change a dipper or feed him over the night could bring the smile down off her face.

"Brian..." she said raising her head just a little bit so their eyes could meet each other, mesmerizing brown with crystal blue ones. "I wanna start trying... I wanna have kids with you!"

He didn't said nothing right away, which only increased her lump on her throat and Kara tried to push back the tears that were forming on the back of her eyes. She knew right then that she shouldn't have said that. Not right now

"Brian..." she managed to say in a whisper, before he hushed her with a passionate kiss. His lips were soft on touch and as soon as she had felt that guilty feeling, she was now in pure joy with the hope that pour from that kiss. His thong roamed on her lower lip, as if he was asking her permission to meet hers. She said yes by opening her mouth, their thongs connecting in a dance they already knew.

He moved away too soon and she pout. That was when the reality came to her, and her face was again full with fear.

"I love you Kara." he said leaving a quick kiss on her lips "And I wanna, I mean - really- wanna have a part of me growing inside of you." she smiled at him and fondled his defined cheek bones "But are you sure you want this... Are you ready?"

"More than everything is this world! I’m tired of waiting; I’m tired of him molding my life for the past 3 years. I'm ready for you !" she said resting her hands on his chest, right on his heart's spot.

"Then we'll do it. You know I would always support you. I promise we'll try!" he said kissing her softly on her forehead, going down on her nose, to only stop on the corner of her mouth, making her giggle with his touch.

“Thank you” she tried to say between her laugh.

"Do you wanna start trying? We can make cute babies together…" he said sliding his hand underneath her orange top, his cold hand touching her hot skin and she shivered on his frizzing touch.

"Not now, I need to take a quick shower before he wakes up for feeding. And you need to go to work!" she said leaving the place underneath Brian's body, making him drop on the bed with his face buried on her pillow and a sigh full with frustration leaved his lips.

She tiptoed her way back from the bathroom right then and laid down to whisper on his ear. "Maybe later, baby!" she said and run into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and rushing on turning on the shower, waiting for it to be warm and then going underneath the water.

She relaxed immediately with the water jets that massaged her back and instinctively closed her eyes, enjoying the heath that radiate from the warm water. She was in fact a little tired, not because of her nightmares that seen to finally got soften, but because the huge amount of times, in the past 2 days, she had woken up in the night, just to calm down the nearly persistent crying of little Thomas. Brian had managed a way for him to stay with them during his investigation. And she was more than thankful. She would never, ever, turn her back to a helpless child. And as strange as it seems, that little toddler reminded her about the most precious human being, besides Brian, she had ever carried on her arms.

She recall perfectly the ill-fated day, as it had been encrusted in the most remote part of her brain, to only appear when the memories of the past wanted to torment her.

[3 years ago, @outskirts New York City]

"Arrrggghhh" she cried trying to control her breathe In and out. IN. AND. OUT, just like the doc said. she thought to herself while pressing her nails against a tattooed arm that, not because of the contractions but because of her nails on his flesh, belonged to a screaming man.

"Just fucking hurry up! I want this out!!" she said as anther contraction hit her and she felt as if her uterus had gain life and was being torn into pieces and something was making room through her belly.

But that was a special something, it was her baby, and despite all that pain, deep down she knew it was all normal. She had been to too prenatal lessons to know so. But in that moment, her head was only thinking on her tummy and how the hell there was saws trying to open her from inside out.

"How far are we" she managed to say, spreading her legs on the car seat as far as she could, and tried to inhale and exhale calmly.

"15 minutes. Just hold on baby!" he said, his eyes never leaving the road. She tried to look past the windows, maybe distract a little from the pain she felt across her entire body, but it was worthless. Outside the car it was pitch-dark, not a single light, not a single car, which might seem weird in the city that never sleeps. But Kara was layered on a sea of screams, contractions, pain and more contractions, so she didn't mind.

Another contraction hit her, this time even stronger than the others "There's no time! The contractions are growing close. We'll... never... make it... on time! Arrrggghhh" she spoke as one more contraction strike her and she kick the car's panel.

They pull over next to a small really bad looking hotel next to the road, the first signal of life they saw since they got back from Hoboken. The long time planed romantic trip turned out not to be really romantic, only a trip to the next hospital. As they put their feet on the boat, a jolt hit them and Kara fell into the boat, the sudden movements causing her water to break.

She smiled remembering everybody's panic faces, including the commander until she had to scream "What a woman have to do to be taken to a hospital?"

Her side's door open and she was dragged out of the car "Here babe, let's get inside." sooner she noticed, she was in a two bed awful room with a TV on a little table. "I've already warn they and they're bringing a wet cloth"

"They who?" she asked laying carefully on one of the beds "Arrrggghhh!"

"Don't worry! Now push, I'm gonna try to help!" he said, rolling up his sleeves up until his elbow. He kneels in front of her, pulling her purple dress up.

"Who are you bringing here, Matt?" she scream as another contraction pulled her to the edge.

"I said don't worry! Now push!" he screamed back at her. Scream you stupid bitch, get him out already!

"I'm pushing. Arrrggghhh" she spread her legs even further, her hands going straight to the red quilt, ripping it as her nails dig into, the tearing sound filling the room between her scream. She was soaking wet, the salty sweat going down her face, into her eyes and mouth, making her even sick. Were the hell was that man with the wet cloth? she tried to focus only on her baby and the strength needed to make his birth as normal as possible, due to their current location. That was not what she planed it. She saw her giving birth on a nice white hospital room, surrounded by nurses, maybe a midwife. A secure, clean place. Not this dirty sickening room where she was now.

She was so deep on her own bittersweet pain that she didn’t even notice the little man with a mohawk and a ring nose coming into their room, leaving a bowl full with water and a towel on the nightstand next to the bed, along with a shining syringe full with a strangely white liquid. As quickly as he came, he went out and the room was again filed with Kara's screams.

"C'mon baby, I can see his head already!" he said, hurrying to place the soaked towel on her forehead, cleaning the drops of sweat off of it. "Just a little more push!" he come back to his place at the edge of the bed and just the vision of that... thing coming from inside of her made him sick.

Her toes curled in agony with each contraction and her body was starting to faint with all her push, but she managed to stay awake . She had to. This kid was more wanted than everything, at least by her , and she wanted to give every little strength of her body to her little baby. She clenched her teeth and a last shout came out of her mouth.

And just like that it was all gone. She felt empty, her little baby was now out of her and she felt empty as ever on her stomach. On the other hand, her heart had increase incredibly, holding now a special place.

"Let me - let me pick him..." she spoke between her heavy tired breaths. Her arms were then filed with a little creature with matching eyes. His loud scream echoed inside the room, filling her ears with that sweet sound.

"That's enough." someone said and she felt her arms empty again, without the heath that poured from her other half.

"Give him back to me... what - what are you doing?" she spoke as soon as she felt her wrists being hold. She struggled against Matt, but it was useless.

"I’m taking care of you!" he answered her bringing the syringe in her throat "I promise I’ll never leave you!" And those were the last words she ever heard from him, as the liquid entered her, leaving a numb feeling as it traveled through her body.

[Present day, @Haner's house]

Kara shake her head trying to keep the bad memories behind. "I'll fucking kill him. When I found him, I’ll rip his head off. Both of them!" she thought, pushing her wrists against the black cold tile. She murmured a countless amount of insults and focused again on her shower. She had to keep those thoughts behind; relive those times led her to nowhere. For now, she had to focus on the little baby she had on the room nest to hers

Water like warm arms hugged her on her waist and she let out a cry of surprise.

"What are you thinking?" Brian asked resting his chin on her shoulder and kissing sweetly her neck.

"Nothing." she said, trying to sound convincing.

"I know you Kara! What’s up on your mind?" he replied, kissing her neck again, this time hitting her weak spot, making her moan.

"Just about the past and that little fucker!" she finally said after a bunch of breath taking kisses hit her neck. "And how I would kill him if I ever see his face again!"

He stopped kissing her, hearing a frustrated moan. She turned on his hold, facing him. "I don't want you to do anything stupid!" Brian said holding now her hands "Leave him to me!"