Say That You Love Me

I paced back and forth across the tiles in my bathroom, my heart racing beneath my bathrobe. I just got out of the shower and took the pregnancy test the second Sidney left the house this morning for practice and was waiting desperately for the reveal.

I was hoping it was negative, because I knew deep in my heart that if I was expecting, and knowing what I knew now, that Sid wouldn't want to be here and I'd be on my own and I didn't want to lose him.

I had noticed the last couple days everything seemed off, I was puking for no reason, I was unusually moody and fatigued. I was either pregnant or coming down with a bug, but the final clue I was probably pregnant was my period.

I was expecting it three days ago and I still hadn't got it and I was one of those people who were usually not irregular. I was always spot on, and I marked it on my calendar when I'd be starting.

The timer beeped telling me the five minutes was up and as I approached the stirofoam cup sitting on the bathroom counter, concealing my future. I took the test out of the cup and when I opened my eyes, I felt my world crumbled underneath me. A blue positive sign was evident on the stick I was holding.

I knew that pregnancy tests were only 85% accurate, so I knew better than to get myself in a tizzy until I consult a professional, but I had bigger problems than that, how would I tell Sidney? What would I tell Sidney?

We just talked about kids yesterday and what he wanted to happen and magically, I might be pregnant... how the fuck does this even happen? Is this some cruel joke? Five tests later and each of them came up positive.

Sid had invited me to his practice so I just decided to act natural and mention it to him later on and attend. I pulled on a pair of black thick leggings and a red vneck with a white cardigan. With a brush through my hair and some makeup, I had my UGGS on and was out the door.

I finally made it to the arena and almost immediately I found Sid, leaning against the locker room door, with his bag over his shoulder, obviously waiting for me. "Sidney," I knew then that I missed his practice. "I'm sorry, I missed practice... I was just a little pre-occupied,"

"Meh, it's fine, Emily," He came up to me and wrapped me up in his arms. I nibbled my lip to fight the tears that were trying to break free and fall down my face. What if he did leave me? "I'm just happy to see you,"

"Me too," I rested my head on his chest and squeezed tightly. "Look, I have something to tell you," I pulled from him and stepped away, feeling my eyes well up with tears. "But I can't, because I know now you'll be mad and I don't want that,"

"What are you talking about? Are you okay? You can tell me anything Em," He whispered, taking my face in his hands but I immediately stepped back from him. "What's wrong Emily? Did Jake do something to you?"

"No, Jake didn't do anything," I furrowed my brows together and put my hand on my stomach. "I just... can't tell you, right now..." I grabbed his wrist in my hand. "Let's go back to my house, I'll make coffee and we'll talk,"

"No," Sid pulled from me and dropped his bag. "Whatever is wrong, just tell me. You are standing here, crying, you missed my practice, you look so shaken up. This is killing me to see you like this, what is it?"

"I can't... please Sid, let's go to my house... please," I pleaded with him and was shocked when he accepted and followed behind me. I drove here this morning, so he tossed his bag in the back and climbed up in the passenger side. I started the engine and pulled out onto the road. I was shaking and trying desperately to look strong but my hand kept going to my stomach. I was in disbelief that there was a part of Sid and I currently growing inside of me.

"I swear, Emily, if Jake did do something, I have no problem cleaning his clock,"

I patted his thigh. "I believe you," I forced a smile. "But Jake had nothing to do with this..." I was desperately trying to make light of this situation. I had no clue what Sid was going to say or what he was going to do. Would he tell me to abort? Would he say we're over, accuse me of sleeping with someone else? I felt my chin tremble and more tears streamed down my face.

"Seriously Emily, this is killing me. What is wrong?" His voice broke. I glanced over at him briefly before speeding down my street and parking in my spot. Sidney grabbed his bag and I mimiced him as we climbed the stairs. I knew it was going to come out, and I wasn't sure I was prepared. I had slipped the pregnancy test in my bag this morning when I was confident I could tell Sidney, but now that he was infront of me, I didn't know what to say.

"Okay," I huffed, sitting down on my couch and digging through my bag, my fingers curling around the test as Sid walked up to me. "Here," I tossed it at him and he expertly caught it in his hand and looked it over.

"What is this?" He asked, waving it in the air. "Wait, Taylor took tonnes of these, they are pregnancy tests, but why are..." His eyes leapt from his sockets. "Fuck off!" My jaw dropped. "This is... but, you... Emily," He began pacing back and forth infront of the table. "Fuck me!" He dropped into the arm chair and then stared at me. "Haha, you are funny, this is payback isn't it, you know I don't want to have kids until later, so you're fucking with me! It's because I got you that stupid little locket, isn't it?! I knew you didn't like it!"

Tears rolled harshly down my face. "Are you serious?" I cupped my hands around my locket. "I love my locket, I love it, Iam not fucking with you," I whispered. "I took the test this morning,"

"What?!?!" He looked over the test in his hand. "This must be why you asked me about kids yesterday, you were just luring me in!"

"Sid, I took five tests and why would I need to lure you in?! We've been dating for a year! I could see if I was some whore you hooked up with!"

"Emily, this isn't fair," He whispered, taking his hat off and throwing his head in his hands. "What about my plan?! I had everything planned out. I used protection, every fucking time, you were taking pills, this isn't supposed to fucking happen! Iam 23, Iam way to young Emily!""

"You?! Iam seventeen Sidney, Iam just a child!" I sobbed into my hands. "My parents are gonna kill me! Yours will be over the fucking moon!"

"Woah!" Sid jumped from the chair. "Iam not telling my parents, are you nuts?! My Dad will chop me into little pieces! We're not telling anyone, until you've been seen by a fucking professional,"

"I can't even believe you! We've been together for a year, everything's been great, I haven't looked in another guys direction since we've been together!" I wasn't lying. When Layla and I went out, no matter how drunk I got, I always turned guys down and believe me, there was a line up to have sex with me. Layla also wouldn't allow it. "I thought if I did end up pregnant, you would be happy,"

"Iam, but Emily, I want kids, I do just... not right now..." He sat on the coffeetable infront of me. "I'd rather spend time with you while we still have it,"

"What if Iam pregnant?! Huh? What then?" I jumped up from the couch and stormed onto the platform where the island was. "You just want me to abort it? Are you gonna leave me?! Because you know what, if you wanna leave, go right the fuck ahead, I'm not stopping you!"

"Emily, look, I don't honestly know what to do, Iam not gonna leave you and Iam not for abortion," He walked up to me and pulled me into his chest and just like that, the anger left my body and I had begun to sob into his shoulder. "It'll be okay,"

I sniffled and pulled from him, wiping under my eyes. "I already made an appointment to see Dr. Exler tomorrow, and I really need someone to come with me," I took his hands up in mine while I was still crying profusely. "Can you?"

"I would, but I have to get back with the team tomorrow morning," Sidney frowned. Yeah, right... this is just the first step. Once he gets back, he's gonna just stop calling me and slowly but surely he'll break me down and then break up with me. "I'm sorry Em, maybe Layla can go with you,"

I almost forgot about Layla. We had to pick her up in little less than an hour and neither of us had changed yet. I was planning to wear Sid's jersey and leggings with my UGGS. "I'll ask her,"
Sidney noticed the clock behind him and he immediately released me and grabbed his bag up. "Shit, we have to get dressed, look, are you gonna be okay to go tonight?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I laughed it off, dragging Sid up the stairs with me. I was amazed at how fast the conversation was dropped and how fast my anger left me. I was definitely not going to forget how he reacted. What if I wanted a baby? What if I was pregnant? What if I decided to keep the baby and Sid said to give it up?

"I'll just change really quick," Sid mumbled, walking into my bathroom, leaving the door open ajar. I walked into my closet and began changing. I pulled up a pair of white leggings and the jersey Sid gave me. It was a womens size, but it seemed so big on me. It went down to almost my knees and made me look like I weighed 300 lbs.

I walked out as Sid came out, with just his dress pants on, revealing his toned bare chest, the team dog tag rocking against his collarbones. He abruptly walked over to me, carrying his tie in his hand and wrapped it around my neck while he began to do it up. I watched the intense look on his face. "What are you doing? This doesn't go with my outfit,"

"Really? I'm wearing it, but it's impossible to do up a tie on myself," He done it up and then pulled it over my head. "I usually never wear a tie, but I feel like dressing it up," I rolled my eyes. He was so cute. He grabbed his dress shirt and done up the buttons while I pulled socks on my feet.

"So, how do you tie it if I'm not here?" I called to him when he poked his head out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

"I usually go for Geno and do it up on him," Sid spat the toothpaste into the sink before he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and walked out. "How do I look?" He spun in a circle. He had on a grey suit with black shiny dress shoes on his feet and a baby blue tie the colour of my eyes.

"Hot, babe, you look great," I walked up to him and wrapped my arms freely around him, leaning on my tiptoes to peck his lips. I, ofcourse, being the little whore Iam, tried to get a lay out of him before his game.

"Emily," Sid pushed me off of him when I knocked him on my bed and climbed ontop. "First of all, no sex before a game, second of all, you're gonna wrinkle my suit and third of all, Iam almost to the point of no return, so let's not push it," He was evil. I pouted and slowly but surely, let my hands travel up his thighs before they rested on his hips. "Emily, seriously..."

"Seriously..." I pulled my jersey over my head and straddled his lap, making my hands go on his inner thighs. "You know you want me," I leaned down and kissed his neck, letting my tongue linger on the skin. I knew from experience when I did this, it got him ready to go.

Sidney let out a low moan and I knew I was getting somewhere.
I slowly put kisses on his neck while my hands were still trailing his inner thighs. "Ohmygod Emily, Iam so close right now to being at the point of no return," He licked his lips. "I really don't wanna wrinkle my suit,"

"Then take it off," I whispered seductively. I knew I'd get what I wanted.

"Can't this wait until later? We barely have an hour," Sidney rolled his eyes.

"That's enough time for me," I undid his belt and started working on the button. With a sigh, I got what I wanted.

Sidney crashed down beside me and pulled the covers up to him as I let out a deep breath and snuggled up close to him.

"Geezaloo, I hope I'm not to tired to skate tonight," Sid gasped. I was amazed at the amount of stamina a hockey player had. Honestly, if I had the stamina, we could probably go all night. He slowly rolled out of bed and got his suit back on as I gathered up my clothes and we were heading out the door.

- - - - -
"He's a fucking twat," Layla rolled her eyes. We got through the pre-game warm ups and now we were just waiting for the game to start. Sid, ofcourse got us some of the best seats, right up against the glass. He knew I hated press box and that I'd rather have it so I was happier when I was in the crowd with everyone else.

I briefly glanced over at Layla, sulking in her seat. Layla and Jace had got into another argument before we got there to pick her up and apparently Jace said if she went, they were over. "I can't even believe he fucking dumped me over this, I mean, honestly..."

I patted her shoulder. "I'll be here for you," Poor Layla. I have actually never had a real boyfriend before Sid, so I never really understood the fundamentals of a real functional relationship.

"I'm not even that upset, I'm more pissed that I wasted six months of my fucking life on this inconsiderate narcisstic mother fucking prick!" She bellowed into the arena. "I packed his shi-,"

I tuned her out as my hands found my stomach again. I was probably going to be doing alot of this in the months to come and I was definitely excited to see how my body was going to change, but was Sidney going to stick around? "Right Emily?"

Layla touched my shoulder, startling me. "I'm sorry Layla," I frowned, running my bang across my forhead. "Iam just kinda... out of it,"

"What's wrong Chickabee?" Layla put a hand on my shoulder. "Sid's down, you should be shitting rainbows,"

"Can you come with me to the doctors tomorrow? Please," I begged her, fighting back a few tears. "Sid said he would, but he has to leave and Iam really fucking scared Layla, please..." I wasn't scared to be pregnant, I was scared that I may have to do this on my own.

"Ofcourse Em, are you sick? Is everything okay?" She eyed me carefully. "You look pale, are you eating? I swear Em, you fucking die on me and I will kill you," I laughed casually, startling when the announcer called out the startling lineups for the Buffalo Sabres.

I immediately searched the ice and found the Penguins line up. There he was #87, standing beside Geno and Tanger, TK and Orpik. Fleury was out of his net, a few feet from me with his head down at the anthem being played. Layla and I stood up with everyone else when the anthem started. I was Swedish but I felt American.

When it was all over, the players scattered about the ice and immediately Layla smiled viciously and I looked up from my hands where Sid was standing at the glass. He leaned his stick down and took off his gloves where he dug a piece of paper out of one of his gloves and placed it against the glass.

I read it, and smiled brightly. In big, black letters scrawled on the back of the Penguins program it said 'Iam Sorry' He stood on his tiptoes and slipped it over the glass before he blew me a kiss and skated away for the bench. I held the paper in my hands as Layla eyed the paper and I.

"What's that all about?" She laughed, obviously being nosey.

"Nothing," I whispered, holding it tightly before stuffing it in my purse. What could I tell Layla? Oh, I might be pregnant and Sid doesn't want the kid so he's sucking up before he leaves me and the baby for good?

- - -
"Good lord, look at the ass on him," Layla crooned, checking out Tanger when he was between lines, stretching his thighs on the boards. I will agree Tanger had a nice physique to him.

I startled when a check occured at the glass where I was sitting, TK slammed Buffalo defenseman Nathan Gerbe face first into the glass. Tyler Ennis decided it was time to start a fight with TK, and I knew when you called TK on, you better be fucking ready to fight, he may be smaller but he was a firecracker.

Soon everyone from both lines were over here, fighting with eachother. In trotted Geno, even though he wasn't a fighter, being Russian and all, he probably could take guys. He skated into the mob, dropping his stick and pulled Ennis off of TK. Genos eyes landed over here and it seemed like he was staring. I knew that wasn't for me. I glanced over at Layla to see her looking in his direction. Layla and Geno? I could see that.

He skated away and then turned back around, a goonish smile on his face to match Laylas. I had never seen her look like that before... ever. It was like they were the only two people in the room right now. I let my eyes leave them to go back to the scrums. I mean, granted, there was only really one, between TK and Ennis, but the other players were trying to stop the fights and end up fighting with eachother.

Sid skated in and tried to help TK by pulling at Ennis' jersey to get him off of poor TK, who was laying on the ice like a turtle who had been flipped over. But all Sid's help got him was a rough cross check to the back of the neck by defenseman Tyler Myers. "OHMYGOD!" I shouted, leaping out of my chair and was not the least bit surprised when Sid climbed off the ice, grabbing a stick by him and whacked Myers in the leg like he was chopping down an Evergreen.

I kept my face covered with the neck of my Penguins sweater, hoping and praying Sid was gonna be okay. He was not a fighter, I mean, yes, he does have fights under his belt but he rarely fights and it's usually in defense of the weaker players.

Naturally, after the refs got all the fights broken up, two players ended up in the penalty box. Sid for slashing and TK for fighting. On the Sabres side however, they had three. Myers for a cross-check, Ennis for fighting and Gerbe for a slash. Apparently while the fighting was happening, he decided to attack Fleury with a stick to the hand.

I wanted to go check on Sid and make sure he was okay and mother him. But so far, as I observed him in the penalty box, he seemed okay. He rubbed the back of his neck every once in a while but spent most of his time arguing with Myers over the partition.

What's gotten into him:? Hmm... maybe he was right about sex before a game? But I always thought restricting sex made them angry. Hmmm....