Say That You Love Me

Two Weeks Later

"Can I get a mug of vanilla bean coffee, with two sugars, please?" I asked the barista, handing her the change. She began making my coffee and I hurried off to the side of the counter. Layla and Jake were sitting at the table by the bay window, and as usual, Layla was reading her People magazine and Jake was checking out various girls.

"Thank you," I smiled, accepting the mug and reclaiming my seat back at the table. "God, I never tire of this coffee," I smelt the aroma of fresh vanilla bean coffee. No better smell in the world.

"So, there's a long weekend coming up," Jake announced, munching one of his ginger cookies in the beautiful paper bag. "Do you guys have any plans? I'm heading back to Jersey to do laundry,"

"My Mom wants me to go back to Boston and visit with everyone," Layla rolled her eyes. "She's nice enough to pay for my flight," Jake and Layla both looked in my direction.

"I don't have any plans, I'm from Sweden, it's a 9 hour flight," I frowned, moving my bangs out of my eyes. "I'll probably chill here and catch up on work and shit," That's what I normally did. Chill out on long weekends while everyone is gone and catch up on all my school work.

They all thought I was lonely and called me to check in, but I wasn’t; I loved my time to myself, which is probably why I got into a relationship with an athlete.

Layla abruptly reached across the table and took my hand in hers. "Em, you should go see Sid, take a break for the weekend," I inwardly rolled my eyes. "Go romance him and make some babies for Christ sakes,"

When I told everyone, my results from the doctors office, it was that I wasn't pregnant and I was astounded at all there reactions.

Sid faked being upset, but I knew damn well, he was relieved. He said when I finally move in with him, that we'll talk about having kids. I

t wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I can’t very well force him to have a baby with me.

Layla absolutely flipped her shit, claiming there must be something wrong with the tests, because there is no way Sid's sperm can be faulty. She's demanding I take more tests.
And Jake, well he could give two shits. He seemed relieved I wasn't having a baby.

But in all actuality, I was pregnant. I was about five weeks along, you can barely see it and I am hoping to get the hell out of Buffalo before I start showing.

I didn't want to deal with Sid, and him denying the baby and telling me to get rid of the baby, so I was just going to deal with this myself.

"Maybe I should, I'll check his schedule," I made a mental note to check it when I get home.

"Already did," Layla giggled, handing me a print out of the schedule. I eyed her, accepting the paper. "What? Geno sent it to me, when I talked to him... this morning," She smiled, sipping her juice out of the bottle.

Ahhh, Layla and Geno, what was there to say about them? Well, they're not exactly seeing each other, but they aren't seeing anyone else either. Layla thinks he has a great ass and he's a nice guy. Geno, on the other hand, thinks she's gorgeous and they need to have a legit date.

Safe to say, the reason she ditched me the day of my doctors appointment was because she slept in Geno’s hotel room and ended up going out for breakfast in the morning. She didn't remember until I found her at my island, skyping on my laptop with him, when I came home.

"Oooooh," I cooed, patting Layla's hand and scanning the schedule. It seemed pretty official to me. It had their practice times on it, the times for the warm ups and then the actual game time. They were playing Philadelphia on Saturday, at 730, their practice was at 10AM and if I knew Sid, he'd be there bright and early at 7AM. "How's it going, with you two?"

She immediately blushed and I knew something more was going on in there beautiful little world. Jake gagged, grabbing his bag and moving to another table with a blonde girl, who had been sitting by herself. I frowned, knowing Jake was acting very weird lately. He was like almost refusing to hang out with us, but when he did, it seemed like he didn't want to be there.

"We're alright, we chatted this morning," She shrugged, pursing her baby pink lips together. "Geno and I want to do Aspen this Christmas, you know, go skiing and shit, you and Sid are going to join us," It was spoken like it was rule and I wasn't allowed to argue.

Geno and Layla have known each other two weeks and already they are planning trips for Christmas... Good lord. See. Geno moves to fast and Layla gets pulled in.

"I don't ski," I laughed. "I am from Sweden, but I can't fucking ski," Not saying everyone from Sweden can ski, but it is very cold much of the time so naturally we take our winter sports seriously, and that means Skiing, snowboarding, hockey. "Sid can't ski; Geno sure as hell can't,"

"I can't either," Layla laughed. "But that doesn't mean we can't take lessons, come on, it'll be fun," I rolled my eyes, trying to deter her from this idea. Is she really sure that her and him will still be 'together' in less than a month? Christmas was exactly a month from tomorrow. She sipped the apple juice up through the straw in her bottle.

"We'll see," I smiled, sending Sid a text telling him about Layla's plans to go skiing. I felt like Sid and I were sort of drifting apart, but it was partly my fault. He just got off 6 away games, so he was severely jet lagged and I was sort of ignoring him. I knew Sid didn't like skiing, but I wouldn't be surprised if he said he would go. "So... I may be going to see my Dad,"

"What?" Layla almost dropped her bottle. "I thought you were refusing to talk to him... what changed?"

"I wasn't refusing to talk to him, I was pissed at him. I couldn't believe he would cheat on my Mom," I frowned, looking into my lap where I played with a loose thread on my dark washed skinny jeans.

Less than six months ago, I get a call from my Mom telling me my Dad's been carrying on an affair with his 22 year old secretary for over a year and a half. She said she was kicking him out, so he moved to Manhattan, a few hours from me. I've been ignoring his phone calls, because I was so upset that he actually did what he did. And apparently he and the secretary are engaged. I'm shocked she isn't fucking pregnant.

Layla gave me an apologetic smile and part of me wanted to reach across the table and smack it right off her face. There was nothing I hated more than pity. She patted my hand. "Maybe you need to go see him, and clear the air,"

"I've been thinking about it, but it's going to be so awkward. His fiancée is like three years older than me," I forced a laugh. "I mean, how sad is that? You're like 50, dating a 22 year old, that's like fucking your daughter,"

"Does Sid know about this?" There was that million dollar question I knew was lurking in the back of her mind.

"Are you serious?" I laughed in her face. "He wouldn't understand this! His parents are like fucking Prince Charming and Cinderella, they were genetically programmed to find each other and live happily ever after," I spat. I didn't want to put Sid down like that, or his parents, they were such sweet and loving people, but I really doubted a father cheating with a 22 year old, was something they knew about.

"Emily, it's not right to keep this stuff from him," Layla scolded me. I hated when she tried to tell me how to run my relationships.

In my entire year with Sid, this is the one thing I haven't really known how to tell him.

"I want to tell him, but I don't know how to say it. Like, hey, by the way, my Dads fucking a 22 year old, pass the wine," I made a joke out of it, resulting in my laughter filling the table while Layla just sat there, staring at me, a shock of concern on her face. I wasn't just laughing; I realized I was crying when my tears fell onto my blue strapless bubble puff top. "What do I do, Layla?" I laid my head on the table and sobbed into the wooden covering.

- - - -
I knelt down by the toilet and pulled my knees to my chest. Here it was again, the beloved morning sickness, what kind of havoc this was wreaking on my HypoGlycemia, I'll never know.

Part of me was happy that I didn't live with anybody, because if I saw someone throwing up almost every morning, I'd be a little concerned and wondering if they were pregnant.

After about ten long minutes of crying, I finally crawled to my bed and grabbed my laptop, wrapped myself in a blanket and dragged myself down the stairs.

Cobus followed after me, trying to lie on my blanket the entire time I walked. It ended up with me dragging him to the living room where I sat down and pulled up a few sites for a plane ticket back to Sweden.

To anyone who thinks I'm running from my problems, I was far from running, I was trying to protect myself and my unborn child. If Sid didn't want to be a part of our life, then fine.

He didn't have to be, but I wasn't going to be a part of his life either. I wasn't going to kiss his ass to make him stay with us, when we were obviously not part of his 'plan'.

"Thanks for ditching me!" I heard an angry voice yell when my door slammed. I lifted my eyes from the site where I was indeed charging a one-way flight to Sweden, leaving from JFK airport at 8AM on December 15.

We start Christmas Holidays on the 13th and I knew both Jake and Layla were heading back to their hometowns, so I would have sometime to get my ass out of Buffalo before either of them know I'm gone. Jake threw his coat on my island and slammed his boots into the wall as he trudged cross the carpet. "Emily, hello..."

"Sorry Jake," I apologized to him, as I reached over and patted his hand. He of course sat right down beside me, and I quickly put the lid to my MacBook down and set it on the arm chair. No one had to find out about my plans.

"Safe to say, I sat in Tony's for over an hour waiting for you," He grumbled. "I mean, I got out of bed at 8 when I didn't fucking have to, to meet you because last night you said you wanted to talk to me about something,"

"I said I was sorry Jake, god, what more do you want?" I snapped, narrowing my eyes. "At least I don't meet up with you and Layla and then leave for some big breasted blonde bimbo,"

"Woah!" He put both his hands up. "Emily, I swear, you two make me listen to conversations about you and Sid, and it's nauseating, I'm sorry if I don't feel like smiling during it anymore,"

"What? We're girls; that's what we talk about," I crossed my arms over my chest. "I bet the bimbo is a very interesting form of conversation," Why was I upset over this? I felt like I was jealous that he was not hanging out with me anymore. I knew Layla would be pissed to hear about this and I will be telling her when she stops by later.

"We need another guy in the group, because I am in the fucking Estrogen ocean," Jake narrowed his eyes. "And what the hell is your problem lately? You're acting like a stuck up bitch for no reason,"

"Maybe you're not the only one pissed off with the group," I got off the couch, ditching my blanket as I climbed onto a stool, still facing him. I needed to get away from close vicinity with him. "And how the hell would you know, you're never around. This and yesterday was the first fucking time I've seen you in like a week and a half,"

"I've been busy. I have football practice like five times a week," He was starting to get pissed with me. I could tell by the way he was balling his fists up. Anyone who knew me knew when I got pissed because my Swedish accent really showed itself. "So, what the hell is your deal? I've been friends with you long before Layla and before Sid," He was right. Jake and I have been friends for almost I'd say 3 years. I just met Layla this September and I've been dating Sid for a year on Halloween.

I actually hadn't told anyone my 'deal' as Jake so bluntly put. I didn't want anyone to flip their shit and tell Sid, or tell my parents or anyone really for that matter. This was my problem and I was going to solve it myself. "It's nothing Jake, don't worry. I'm fine; I just have a lot on my mind,"

"There you go again," Jake grabbed his coat. "Then you wonder why I don't want to hang out with you anymore,"

"What the hell are you talking about? Jake, I don't need to tell you anything,"

"What am I talking about? Emily, you and Layla are your own little fucking group now, you obviously don't need me," What the hell? Jake was... not going to be my friend anymore? Son of a bitch.

"Jake, stop, you're being irrational," I leapt off the stool and put my hand over Jakes, to make him not leave. "Please, let's just talk about this," I was feeling my heart break in two, watching Jake walk out of my life. This can't seriously be happening. Fuck me, this is all a dream. How did my life go to complete shit in less than a fucking month. Who did I kill in a previous life?

"Oh now you want to talk?" Jake jerked his arm out of my hand. "I don't think so," He put his coat on and walked out the door, letting it slam behind him. Wait, what?

I discreetly reached over and pinched my wrist, finding myself not in a dream. What was I going to do? I trudged back to the couch and lied down, pulling my blanket over my face. Maybe I'll suffocate myself.

My phone beeped, telling me I had one new message. Fuck. I decided to just leave it; if it's important they'll call my house.
In short, I ended up falling asleep and woke up to someone shutting my door. I

leapt up from the couch and seen Layla, sitting on my stool, her nose in her phone.

"Fuck, Layla," I gasped, leaving my hand over my chest where my heart was beating rapidly. "What are you doing here?" I sat on the couch and reached for my phone.

"Jake stopped me at school and said you were acting like a bitch and he's done hanging out with us," Layla frowned, her eyes still on her phone. "Why were you a bitch to him?"

"Excuse me," I argued. "He came over here, just ranting and raving about me never talking to him anymore. Well fuck Layla, when he just decides to ditch us for some tramp in the coffeehouse, I am going to get a little pissed off," I crossed my arms over my chest, letting my phone sit idly on my lap. "I mean, how he expects me to talk to him when he's never here, so I was just telling him,"

"He seemed adamant about it," Layla huffed. Was she really defending him? "You think he's really serious about never hanging with us anymore?"

"I hope not," I rested my head on my knees. "I've been friends with Jake for almost three years, it's going to feel so weird without him," Not like I was really going to be in Buffalo for much longer, but I didn't want to be put off from my friends before I left. Things shouldn't fall apart because I'm leaving. "Maybe we all just need to sit down together,"

"I highly doubt he'll do that," Layla lifted her eyes from her phone. Ten bucks she's texting Geno. "Maybe it would be best if we just kind of... left it alone and see what he does,"

"I just don't want to lose him. You've only known him since September, I've known him for three years, you don't understand," This was physically hurting me. I was awestruck at how many different ways everything seemed to be going.

Layla was getting more and more with Geno and Jake was driving himself further away, I was secretly pregnant and planning to flee the country. What the hell was I going to do?