Into Sparks

See, the fifth time we met, we weren’t in the middle of doing other things. We both had nothing better to do with ourselves. I was supposed to be clubbing actually, it was a week after my birthday and I’d promised my friends we’d all go. I got dressed up and everything – short red dress, heels, the works. It seemed like a great idea, but as soon as I actually saw the nightclub, I just didn’t fancy it.

I’m not saying that in the “special wallflower” way either, I just had a bit of a headache. Clubbing could wait, but I told my friends I’d come and find them when they got out. We were all crashing at Jen’s house that night, as again, I was miles away from home. So as they slid into the night club, I wandered off towards the beach.

I’ve always loved the coast, even in England, even when it’s cold. And night time. There’s just something lovely about a cobbled beach and icy cold waves. The pebbles hurt my feet a little, but there was no way I was going to hobble along the beach in four-inch heels.

It was a clear night. Crisp, but not too cold, and even though the stars weren’t out it seemed peaceful. A velvet sky. I pulled a stray hairband out of my bag and scrapped my hair up: it was windy and my hair kept getting in my eyes.

As I got closer to the water the pebbles got smaller, and then there was just sand between my toes. The tide was out, and I walked right in the shallow of it. I lost track of time a little, watching the gentle waves roll over my feet.

I only managed to pull my head out of the clouds when I noticed the shape of someone sat down on the sand a little way in front of me. You think I’d know better by now, but I honestly had no idea it was Jack until I was practically next to him.

My intentions were to go over and see if this “mystery person” was okay, and not passed out drunk on the beach, but by the time I reached him I knew exactly who it was.

“You know, I think I could go to Siberia and I think I’d end up running into you.”

He smiled up and me, and patted the sand next to him. I chuckled and dropped my shoes, then parked down on the beach. My dress was probably ruined, but I didn’t really care.

“I’m starting to think we may be tied together,” he scratched his jaw, “some invisible string type deal, probably.”

“I was supposed to be going clubbing tonight.” I picked up a pebble and tossed it into the sea.

“Surprisingly enough, I can tell,” he nodded towards my dress, “how old are you anyway?” The words got a little stuck in his mouth, like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to know the answer.

“Eighteen.” Jack wasn’t looking at me. He was staring at his shoes, half buried in the sand. “You?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat and said, “Thirty four.” That’s when he looked at me. He turned and his eyes were on mine, and everything in my head was moving so quickly.

“This should feel weird,” I said. He leant forwards and tucked a stray strand of my dark hair behind my ear, and I pretended that I didn’t feel the spark on my skin.

“What should feel weird?” The moon reflected a little on the water. The stars were hiding, but the moon was there. The moon was always there. I started to wonder whether he was a figment of my imagination. I only ever saw him at night, so maybe I was going crazy?

“I don’t know. But it should.”

“Things aren’t always that simple,” he said simply, voice soft, and I gave up. I gave up trying to pretend. I didn’t know what the fuck we were doing but it didn’t matter, because by the morning we’d both be strangers again. I’d disappear back off to my home town, and he’d go home to his white collar life with Claire.

Then I shuffled closer to him, and I laid my head on his shoulder, because I wasn’t going to pretend. Because I knew that we didn’t exist in each other’s lives, and I was okay with that.

I didn’t want to know about his family, and I didn’t want to know what he studied at school. I didn’t want to tell him my secrets, or tell him about the birthmark on my thigh. So we just stayed there, hoping that if we didn’t move time would leave us be, just for a few more minutes.

Because we weren’t star-crossed lovers, we were just an inevitability crossing paths.