Turning Tables

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I sat at the small, two-person table inside Starbucks, hands twisting in my lap. I was extremely nervous for what I was supposed to do. I’ve only been through two break-ups before this, and both times, it had been mutual.

Or as mutual as a break-up could be, anyway. There’d be a lot of fighting and screaming and shouting, then someone would suggest that we break-up, then we’d make up, and then we’d repeat the process a couple more times before calling it quits for real.

This time, it was all me. I didn’t know yet whether I’d tell Matt the truth or not, but I was leaning towards not at the moment. I was already going to break-up with him, I didn’t need to throw salt in the wound.

The little bell above the door chimed and I looked up to see Matt walk in, floppy hair a rumpled mess on his head and a boyish grin on his face when he saw me.

“Hey!” He leaned down and gave me a long kiss. “I’ve missed you.” He sat down opposite me, and his grin immediately fell when he noticed my pained expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“We have to talk.”

“Shit, Luce. If this is about dinner with your family, I’m so sorry I missed that and I’m gonna--”

“It’s not! I mean, it is, but I just think that--”

“Luce, listen,” Matt interrupted me. “Before you say anything, I just want to be honest with you. It’s been killing me for days, but I can’t lie to you.” He took a deep breath. “Abby kissed me, and I pushed her away, I swear, but it still happened, and I feel awful. I’m so sorry. You were right about her.”

That wasn’t what I was expecting. Not at all. Abby kissed him. And he felt awful. I wanted to cry. I had slept with another guy, multiple times, and here I was trying to break up with him. I was so going to hell. I wanted to cry and throw myself at his feet, begging for his forgiveness.

“She did?” I asked instead, my voice high. Despite the fact that I had cheated on him intentionally didn’t keep my blood from boiling over. I knew that bitch was after my man.

He looked so apologetic I just wanted to hug him and make him smile again. “Yeah, it happened during our last lesson.” Him telling me where it happened wasn’t making me feel any better. He was just being honest, but it made me feel like shit. Because I so wanted to reciprocate, and tell him all that I’ve done. But it would have been more than one place, and certainly more than one time.

“It’s, uh, it’s fine,” I stuttered, running a hand through my hair. “You didn’t you anything wrong.”

I did.

This wasn’t how our conversation was supposed to go. Matt beamed at me for my understanding, and I smiled back, because it was the only thing I could do.
…..

I was grocery shopping. In an actual supermarket. And it felt great.

“I want to ask you something,” I’d said to Lucy on our way home from the Garden.

“Shoot,” she replied, looking out the window at the passing scenery.

“Not here. Come over tomorrow after work. I’ll make you dinner.” She turned to face me, eyes bright.

I was expecting some sort of snarky comment or joke at my expense. But she just smiled. “Okay.”

I’d bought three different cookbooks, but I didn’t think they’d help me any. I stared openmouthed at all the various pastas. Why were there so many? And why was one shaped like a bowtie?

I grabbed one of each, moving the cart down towards the sauces.

Shit on toast. There were even more types of sauces! Why the fuck did that many flavors need to exist?

I thought about calling a personal chef in, but decided against it. I told Luce I’d make her dinner, and I was going to do it.

I planned on asking her to the Bruins Charity Ball next Saturday, and it had to be perfect. It’d be the first time we’d be out in public as a couple, so I wanted to ask her the right way.

As of right now, Lucy and Matt would be broken up, and by tonight, she’d be all mine.

I concentrated on that as I continued the torture that people called shopping. This would take all day, but it would be worth it.

…..

I failed at life.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break up with Matt. We’d talked and he’d apologized and now I had no idea what to do. I was pretty sure I was falling in love with one guy while falling out of love with another, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I told Tyler I would do it today, and I really thought I would. I didn’t think it was so hard.

My feelings for Tyler were strong and genuine that I had thought breaking up with Matt would be easy.

That was stupid. Break-ups were never easy. Unless you were a cold hearted bitch who didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings. And I still cared about Matt.

I wanted to be with Tyler, that was for sure. So I’d break up with Matt. Soon. Eventually.

Despite my failure at life, I tried to pump myself up for tonight. Tyler said he wanted to ask me something. And he was cooking me dinner!

I knew it wasn’t a marriage proposal, but I was still anxious to find out what it was he wanted to ask me.

I took extra time gussying myself up. I shaved everywhere, applied lotion, which I normally skipped, and curled my normally straight hair into perfect waves.

A quick survey of my closet, and I had pulled out five dresses that I could wear tonight. I decided on a short, royal blue shift with a black belt, paired with black heels. Sexy, but classy.

Perfect.

Grabbing my bag, I headed towards what I was sure would be a perfect evening.
…..

Unlocking the apartment door proved difficult with four bags of groceries in my arms. I had a little more than an hour before Lucy was supposed to show up. I needed to get started.

Finally, the door handle turned and I entered my not so humble abode. My fireplace was turned on, and I figured I must have left it on. Good thing it was electric. Grappling around, I found the light switch and turned it on.

I wished I’d left the lights off.

Ciara Price was sitting on the sofa facing me, wine glass in her hand, dressed in a strapless and red, skin tight dress that left, little, if nothing, to the imagination.

I almost dropped everything, but managed to balance all four bags before they went crashing to the floor.

“Tyler,” Ciara purred. “I’ve been waiting for you.” She uncrossed and crossed her legs, spreading them wide in the process. “Come have a glass of wine with me. I even turned the fire on.” She gestured with her wine glass towards the crackling fire.

She was just as gorgeous as I remembered. All blond and busty and curvy in all the right places. Thoughts of all the wonderful, dirty, and provocative things we’d done by that fire came rushing to my mind.

Shit.

But she wasn’t beautiful. Not like Lucy was. She was too made up and flawless. And she was definitely not supposed to be here tonight.

“How did you get in?” I blurted out, carefully setting everything down on the dining table while still watching her. I was afraid she might pounce.

She pouted. “You bad boy, ignoring my calls and texts. I had to make sure you were okay. You’re obviously not, since you’ve been grocery shopping. Don’t you have people for that?” She laughed a dry, humorless laugh, her eyes hard. She knew something was up. That there was someone else.

“Ciara, you need to leave.” I kept my voice even.

“Oh, come on,” she cooed, getting up and coming towards me. “Remember how much fun we had together?” She set her glass down and came right up to me.

“Haven’t you missed me? I’m sure he has.” A hand reached down and pressed against the zipper of my jeans. I backed up instinctively, but she followed, backing me up into a wall separating the kitchen and the living room. She continued to rub, and I tried to push her off.

“Baby, stop fighting me,” Ciara whispered huskily, lips close to my ear. I moved away from her, towards the fireplace and couch.

“Seriously, Ciara, you need to go.” But she didn’t listen. Smiling, she cocked her head and her blond hair fell against her bare shoulders.

“I think you need a little reminder or all the things we used to do together.” I shook my head as she stood before me, fingers curled over the hem of her strapless dress. She dragged it down, slowly, revealing inch after inch or her perfect, round breasts, until they popped up and out all together.

They were just as glorious as I remembered them to be. She smiled at my reaction, and slowly sauntered over to me.

“You remember these, don’t you?” She began to touch herself, running her hands over herself.

“Ciara, please, you need to leave,” My voice was urgent, and I couldn’t quite catch my breath.

She pursed her lips, and slid the dress lower and lower, shimmying out of it altogether. Suddenly, she was pressed against me while I tried to push her off without touching… anything.

She was a lot stronger than I remembered, and my hands hesitantly fought her off, afraid they’d come into contact with any part of her that I wasn’t supposed to be touching.

Her naked chest pressed against mine and her hips bucked violently. She pressed her plumb lips over mine, moaning loudly.

“Tyler?”

Ciara froze, and unglued her lips from mine. I looked at the door, where a confused Lucy was standing.

I opened my mouth to explain, but nothing came out. I couldn’t shake the look on her face. She wasn’t mad, or angry, or even pissed. Since meeting her, I’d seen her face show every single emotion she’d ever felt towards me. She wasn’t good at hiding the way she felt, especially concerning me.

I’d seen her pissed off beyond consoling, sad and happy, mad and angry, and everything in between. But the look she gave me was one I’d never seen before.

She looked vulnerable and a little confused.

But more than anything, I’d never seen her look so hurt.
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