My Only One

~Alex~

“How did you do that so fast?” Megan looked at me, astonished. I shrugged and put on a cool accent. “You know, I'm just awesome.” She giggled and the rest of our lunch table laughed with her. Not including me, there were only four other people at our lunch table. Megan, Jack, Rian and Kara were the only ones that sat with me. Zack went out for lunch every day.

“Alex, stop trying to act cool.” I looked at Jack, who I believed to have spoken.

“I’m not so shut up.”

“Ok, whatever you say.” He shook his head at me.

“Bro, I don’t need to act cool. I already am.” Megan shoved me. “Now don’t lie, Alex.” I made a fake face at her and topped it off with a fake laugh.

“Ha. Ha.” She hugged me and I hugged her backed. “I’m just kidding, baby.” She said. “Dork,” I replied back. We give each other pet names because….I don’t know. It’s funnier that way.

“Alex! Alex, baby. Alex!” I groaned and rolled my eyes as Lisa’s hands rested her hands on my shoulders. My whole table was silent and when she looked up at them, they broke into a hysterical fit of non-stop laughter. “What’s so funny? Alex.” she looked down at me and I looked back at her. “Why are they laughing, honey?” I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.” However, I did. She obviously had something written on her and was leaning on it or something because her face was almost blue. It was covered in pen.

“No, Alex, tell me right now because I don’t want to start yelling and getting…” Megan stopped her. “One, don’t get mad at Alex for something that we’re doing. Two, we are laughing at you. Look at your face. There’s pen all over it. You should go wash up.” With that, she shoved a napkin in Lisa’s face. I was so angry but all I did was sit there with my mouth hanging open. If I was Megan, I would have said the same thing. But, when Lisa’s mad, I get hell for it. I’m the only one she can take it out on.

I buried my face in my hands as Lisa shrieked and stomped away.

“Thank you Megan. Thank you, for handling that situation so well. Look, you fucking pissed her off!” She lowered her eyes at me. “I’m sorry her high and might self has no right to go walking around and treating people like that.” I shook my head. “No, no. Now I’m going to pay for it. You don’t get it. Just stay out of my business, okay?” She was pissed and I could tell. I automatically wished I had never said that.

“Dude, dude. Seriously? You are always up in my business. You practically scared my last boyfriend away from me. You like interrogated the kid. When you learn to stay out of my business, maybe I’ll do the same. I was just looking out for you. I care about you and don’t think you deserve to be treated like that.”

“Then stay out of my shit.” She slammed her fist down on the table, got up, and walked away mumbling something. The whole table stared at me. “What the hell man?” Rian said to me. “God, sorry. She needs to mind her own business. Not mine. Get it? Good. I’m out.” With that I walked out of the cafeteria. I walked past the bathrooms next to the lunch room and stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a sniffle and a sob. Oh God, I thought.

I knew I would get in so much trouble but I walked into the bathroom anyway. “Megan?” There she was, leaned up against the wall, crying. I walked over to her and gathered her in my arms. “I’m sorry, sh. I’m sorry.” She looked up at me. I wiped away her tears. It killed me to see them. And the fact that I made them happen. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was being stupid. I just hate it when she’s angry at things; she takes it all out on me.” She shook her head.

“I’m sorry. I hate, hate, hate when people freak out at me like that. My mom, she’s been doing it so much lately. She’s been hitting me, too. I’m just really breakable. I’m not like those girls who cry over everything.” I hugged her tighter. “I’m still sorry. Do you forgive me?” She nodded. “Yay, I win. Maybe I should get out of this bathroom. Hmm.” At that she laughed. “Let’s go.”

The end of the school day

“Lisa, come here.”

“What do you want?”

“Ok, I know your pissed about like everything all the time, but don’t take it out on me because no one else likes you enough to put up with your shit.” She stared at me, open mouthed. I continued. “I’m sick of all my friends not being able to stand being around me anymore because I sit here and put up with it all. That and they don’t want to be by you. Back to my point. I don’t think we should go out anymore.”

Tears welled up in her eyes and then started to pour out. I didn’t wipe them away. I didn’t care. She was holding me back and screwing up my relationship with my friends and being with her for two years was long enough. My contract was up. I quit.

“Alex please.”

“None of that Alex please, I’m going to cry, bullshit. I’ve put up with it for too long. I’m done. I can’t even remember the last time I was happy being around you.” She started to sob.
“I hate you, I NEVER loved you. And I know you probably already figured this out on your own, but I’ve been cheating on you this whole time. Yeah, and I don’t feel bad about it. So that’s that.”

She walked out of the room.

What the hell? I felt like crying. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I just wasted two of the best years of my life on her. And she was cheating on me and treating me like shit. I could have been spending it with someone I cared about. I mean, I did. I hung out with all my friends more than her. I hung out with Megan more than anyone else in my life. Almost every day.

I let one tear slip down my cheek and onto the floor. That was it. I was going to use my tears for someone special. For someone that I cared about enough. Like seeing Megan crying over me today made me want to break down right there and start sobbing. But I couldn’t. And I wasn’t crying for Lisa. I was crying for the life that I had just wasted. I never loved her either. That didn’t hurt me.
“
Alex?” Rian walked up. I wiped the tears that had gotten by off my face, but just a little too late. “Were you, were you crying?” I shrugged me shoulders. “Why?” I told him the whole story of what had happened only minutes before. “Duded I’m sorry and I hope that isn’t true.” No.

“No, dude. I broke up with her. No sorry needed. Really. It was my choice. She was holding me back.” He nodded. “I get it. I get it. Sometimes I feel like that with Kara but I wouldn’t every break up with her. I love her too much, you know?”

“Yeah. I didn’t love her though. And especially because of what tomorrow is, I really don’t need anyone else making my life hell.” I patted my back. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I just wanted to make my point. “I’m sorry.” That’s all he said before he turned his body around and walked in the direction of Kara’s locker.

I had no reason for sticking around the school any longer, so I walked down the stairs, out the school doors and I went looking for my car in the student parking lot. “Alex, give me a ride!” Megan was standing next to my car. I gave her a ride every day. “Baby, I’m going to give you a ride every day. Just meet me at the car.” She nodded. “Thanks. So tomorrow. I completely…” I put my finger to her lips. “Stop. Stop, please. Let’s just not talk about it. You forgot. So what?
That’s all I’m trying to do for now.”

“No, Alex. That’s not right. That’s not something you just forget alright? Your brother wouldn’t want you to just take every memory out and just completely forget about the life had. It was a great at that. Don’t you EVER forget that.” The only thing I could do was stare at the road ahead of me, because I had started to drive. She was right.

“I know,” was all I had said to her. She rubbed my arm. “Hey, he would have loved you. He would have loved you as much as I do. God, you are the best friend a person could ask for, you know that?” I saw her blush out of the corner of my eye.

“Not even. Not even close. Without people like you, and even Jack in my life, I wouldn’t be anything like this. And trust me, I’m far from perfect.”

“Maybe, but you’re as close as it gets.” She blushed a deeper red this time. She knew I was right. She was the nicest person that I have ever met. She was always there when you needed help or if you were feeling sad. She always knew just the right thing to say and she couldn’t stay mad at a person. I loved that about her.

“No.” She shook her head. “Okay, then. If that’s what you think.”

We pulled to a stop in my driveway. I got out of the car and walked around to open up Megan’s door. She got out and she hugged me, tears streaming down her face. “Why are you crying?” She looked up at me. “No one has ever said that to me before.”

“No one loves you as much as I do.” I kissed her forehead.

“Megan! Get in the damn house now.” I could see the fear in her eyes as her mom’s voice reached her ears. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I have to go.” She walked over to her house. Before walking she turned around at me and waved.

I watched her walk into the house, knowing she was probably going to get beat again tonight, and all I could do was comfort her after the damage was done.