I Remember

When everyone else chose to forget, I chose to remember.

For weeks before it all began, it seemed to Amelia that something was different in her home. The antique Manor was made of stone bricks and lined with polished wood flooring. The outside was large, but that was nothing compared to the inside. There were so many rooms that it housed the entirety of her family. The enormity of the home also allowed room for many secret nooks and crannies that begged Amelia to be discovered. Exploring them was one of the little girl’s favorite past times.

There was nothing physically different about anyone in the Manor, but there was a new feeling in the air during meals. Amelia seemed to be the only one who noticed. Every once in a while, she would catch fleeting glances between her brother and one of their servers. He hid it well, but Amelia was a quiet girl and what time was not spent exploring was spent observing those around her. It was impossible for her not to notice Gale’s eye lingering on the server’s form for longer and more often than what was typically acceptable. One was not supposed to associate oneself with the help.

At first, the girl did not know what to think. She knew that she should tell someone–have them deal with the situation at hand and make sure Gale knew his place–but the look in his eyes stopped her. There was something there that silenced her conscience and made her decide to keep quiet. At the time, Amelia didn’t know that she saw. All she knew was that in her heart, she felt it would be wrong to stifle the emotion in her brother’s gaze. This was the first time since he returned to the Manor that anything could be seen from him.

Some could say that that was the beginning, but I say that it all started with a piece of cake–chocolate cake with a pecan crumble, to be exact. Gale had been sick for a few days, and his aunt asked the cook to make something for him. She thought that a special treat might make him feel better. Amelia was hiding in one of the secret rooms she discovered a few years previous. There were only two doors in the room–one leading into her closet, and another leading into Gale’s. He was away when the girl discovered the room, and it was pure coincidence that he chose the room it connected to. It was also a coincidence that she happened to be in the room when the server showed up with the cake.

Amelia was putting the finishing touches on the get-well card she created for Gale when she heard the knock. She had no knowledge of her aunt’s request at the time, and she was extremely curious as to who was visiting her brother. She was the only one who seemed to even like him–besides their elderly aunt–and the nurse had already checked in on him for the night. The little girl cracked the door open just enough to slip through and observe the happenings from behind the closet door.

The server who came to the door was one that Amelia recognized. He was the one that shared an emotion with Gale. Since Gale was bed ridden at the moment, the server let himself in.

“You aunt requested you enjoy this in hopes of a speedy recovery.” Gale scoffed sat up in bed. The server moved to meet him, but Gale raised his hand and signaled for him to stop. “I do not think that you should strain yourself in such a way, sir,” he said as Amelia’s brother stood up and made his way over to him.

“Do not worry about me, I can hold my own.”

Gale dragged his feet over towards the server and observed the cake. It was a light brown color with what looked to be a rich chocolate frosting. Slowly, his finger made its way across the entirety of the cake, gathering at the tip of his finger. It felt moist and smelled good enough to make his mouth water. It even tasted good, until Gale had to spit it out of his mouth and wash out the remaining bits with a convenient glass of milk.

“What the fuck,” he exclaimed loudly, startling both Amelia and the server. “I’m allergic to pecans, are you trying to poison me?” The server’s eyes became wide, and he could barely stutter out a response.

“I-I didn’t know. I just, I did was I was told, sir.” Gale knocked the slice of cake out of the server’s hands and slapped the boy across the face. He held it, shocked.

“Do you think this is funny?” Gale shouted, and he pushed the server hard up against the wall. The boy winced in pain, but said nothing. “Do you want me to suffer?”

“No,” the server whispered. Gale did not let up on his grip, but instead of hitting the boy again like he expected, Amelia’s brother pressed his lips to the server.

That is when the situation clicked together in Amelia’s head. As she looked upon the sibling she loved whole-heartedly–no matter how much she was told not to–kissing the blonde boy, she understood. He had feelings for this boy, much the way their mother was supposed to have feelings for their father and vice-versa. And, it seemed to Amelia that this boy shared the feelings. Even if she couldn’t tell that the server felt the same way by the way he shared Gale’s look, she definitely knew by the way that he wrapped his arms around Gale’s body and pulled him in close. Even after their lips parted, they brought them together again, and again, and again. Amelia knew that she was not to tell.

Every day after the incident, Gale and the server’s eyes stopped lingering on the other’s fleeting figure, and the only time their gazes met was at the end of the dinner meal. Then, they seemed to have a secret conversation that only Amelia could decipher. They would meet late at night, after everyone has gone to bed. In the privacy of Gale’s room, they would share secret kisses and touches. Amelia saw the danger in this situation, and knew she had to do something.

“Gale,” she called to him one day. Her blonde curls and bright eyes were all that could be seen peaking around the corner at the end of the hall. Gale was just leaving his room, and the girl had been waiting for him. There was something daunting about the way his door loomed before her, and she could never find it in herself to knock.

“What are you doing, Amelia?”

She couldn’t find the words that would make him follow, so she simply motioned for him to come to her. When he met up with her, she grabbed his hand and began to pull him. Her simple white dress flowed out behind her, hitting him in the legs as they sprinted through the twists and turns. Gale was used to the silent way his sister communicated with everyone, but her movements seemed rushed and excited.

“Sweetie, what is going on?”

Instead of answering, Amelia stopped in front of a row of wooden panels in a back corner of the Manor. She stared at him, trying to tell him to pay attention without saying the words out loud. She knew that this had to kept as secret as possible and didn’t want to risk someone overhearing them speaking. The little girl looked around them to make sure they were alone before pointing at each panel–starting from the far right–and stopping on the fourth. She knelt and lifted a loose piece of the floorboard. With a click, Amelia pushed the panel back and shoved it aside, revealing a dark passageway. A door could be seen at the end of the corridor, but she made no move towards it.

“Amelia, why are you showing me this?” he said lowly.

There was a sense of importance in what his little sister was doing at the moment, and he seemed to understand that this passage has special significance. Still, Amelia stayed silent. For a few moments, they simply stared at each other. Amelia was trying to communicate with Gale, and he was trying to figure out what his sister was trying to say. All of the pieces of the puzzle were there; he just had to put them together.

“For you,” she said finally, giving him the push that he needed for it to register. Happiness swelled deep within his being at the acceptance and care he knew she was showing him, and he pulled her in for a tight hug.

Amelia never knew for sure if Gale shared the secret room with the server, but their nightly looks continued and sometimes she thought she heard the sound of quiet steps passing her door. The thought of her brother smiling as he and the server’s secret love flared gave Amelia a smile of her own. There was something satisfying about two souls finally meeting after searching and searching through the ages. The girl knew that the love they shared was one that was meant to be. No one else seemed to notice the way that their eyes sparkled when they looked at each other, or when the other was mentioned. It became known though, that that was simply a façade the rest of the family put on while they planned the most devious of plans.

Late in the afternoon one day, Gale was summoned to the sitting room. The girl could feel it deep inside of her that something was very wrong with the situation, so she followed a good distance behind him. When they entered, their parents were sitting on the velvet couch that sat in the center of the room. Gale sat in an overstuffed chair across from them. Amelia ducked behind the nearest piece of furniture and hid from the sight of the previous three.

“Your father and I have talked it over,” said their mother critically, “and we have decided that you are to be married.”

“What?” he exclaimed. Amelia could imagine that his eyes were popping out of his head.

“Her name is Marianne, and she comes from money.”

“Yes,” their father said, “and her features will mix well with yours when you procreate.”

“I refuse,” he said sternly. The servant chose that moment to walk in. He carried a tray with three glasses of tea, sugar, and cream, and glanced at the girl briefly before shooting his eyes foreword. She was grateful that he was attempting not to give her away.

“You have no choice in the matter,” their mother said definitely as she grabbed her teacup and poured in a dollop of cream.

“Well I should,” he argued, visibly attempting to keep his eyes from wandering towards his forbidden love. “I will not marry someone who I do not love.”

The servant’s will was not as strong as Gale’s, and his eyes shot in the boy’s direction. Gale’s parents couldn’t help but notice, and his father glared. The servant hustled out of the room as quickly as he could.

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed,” his father said as soon as the servant was thought to be out of earshot. Gale stiffened.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t even try to play dumb. We hoped that you would accept this marriage easily and we wouldn’t have to deal with the situation directly, but you have now forced our hand.”

“If you do not end this disgusting fling with the boy and marry Marianne, he will be kicked out into the gutters. You know that our opinion weighs heavy in many places, and your mother and I will make sure he has absolutely no where to go.”

“I will go with him then,” Gale said defiantly.

“If you decide to go with him, then we will not hesitate to end the boy’s life. You have already dishonored this family, and we will not accept any more mistakes.” To this, Gale had nothing to say. His father smiled, and Amelia began to silently cry.

“That is what we thought.”

That evening at dinner, Gale did not speak. He did not meet the eyes of the server, and that night Amelia did not hear quieted footsteps going down the hall. To the best of her knowledge, the girl did not think that Gale actually told the boy what happened. Perhaps he figured that the boy would know that he did not love this woman, or maybe he thought that it would be better for both of them if there was a clean break. At any rate, it was obvious to Amelia that neither of them was happy about the current state of affairs.

The day of the wedding came quickly. Marianne was a very plain girl. Her hair was a dull shade of brown that matched her eyes and the many freckles that painted her skin. At the ceremony, however, she looked even more beautiful than Amelia imagined she would. The girl couldn’t force herself to look as the unhappy couple exchanged vows. Instead, she turned her attention towards the servant at the back of the room. He was sporting a pained look and glistening eyes that could have broken anyone’s heart. Amelia, though, could actually feel his pain. It came off of him in waves and perforated her being, shaking her deep down into the core. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to pull her brother off of the altar and whisk the lovers away to a secret location where they could be together forever.

Applause pushed the girl out of her thoughts, and her eyes were brought back to the front where her brother was embracing the bride against his will and kissing her with no emotion. Gale ended the kiss as quickly as was acceptable, and they turned towards the crowd. He met no one’s eyes as he and his new wife walked back down the isle, their hands intertwined.

The reception was held at the Manor, which is customary for the members of their family. Gale did not have friends and the wedding was rushed, so majority of the guests were family. Everyone except for Gale and Amelia was laughing and smiling and having a wonderful time. The bride hung all over the girl’s brother, and the sight made bile rise in her throat. This is not the way things were supposed to be.

I’m not quite sure what exactly happened next, but I have the gist of it.

For one reason or another, Gale went upstairs. I think that he just needed to get away from the celebration to wallow in self-pity for a few precious moments. He knew that he could not shed the tears that he wanted to in front of all of the guests that came to congratulate him and his new wife. He wanted to go to the secret room where he and his lover spent so many nights together, but decided to stick to a place with fewer memories. It turned out, though, that he should have stayed away from his bedroom.

Pushing the door open, Gale’s eyes set on the most horrifying sight he had ever seen in his life. There, on the floor, lay the man he loves. The white tuxedo all of the help had to wear that night was stained with the red blood that flowed from the servant’s slit wrists. It never occurred to Gale that his love could not live without him, and he was suddenly filled with such emotion that he could not contain himself. He screamed out into the room and dashed to the servant’s side.

“Caleb!” he cried, sobs quickly overcoming his being and shoving all other thoughts to the side. “Caleb baby come back to me. I am so sorry; I love you. I love you so much,” Gale scrambled to tear off the fabric of his dress shirt. He attempted to stop the bleeding, but in his heart he could feel that the servant was already gone.

Rage overcame him and pushed the sorrow deep down into the recesses of his soul. He hated his family for forcing this marriage upon him. He hated his bride for accepting this so easily. He hated everyone who celebrated his unhappiness. But most of all, he hated himself for choosing to bend to the will of his parents instead of following his heart. Gale thought that he was doing the right thing for all parties involved, but obviously he was wrong.

There was a collection in a room a few doors down that was the pride and joy of Gale’s uncle. Without a second thought, the groom continued to choke on his tears as he stormed down the hall. He grabbed a large shotgun off of the wall and stuffed his pockets with extra shells. The people who pushed Caleb over the edge were going to pay. They were going to get nothing less than they deserved.

Gale barely made it halfway down the stairway before shots were fired and screams erupted. There was so much confusion at that moment that no one really understood what was going on. Amelia was frightened to see her brother reacting in such a way, but at the time she had no idea what had set him off. She decided not to question his motives while he was acting in such a way. She cowered behind a dining chair and watched helplessly as Gale painted the marble floor with the blood of lost lives.

Bang.

Their aunt

Bang.

The bride

Bang, bang.

Their mother and father

One by one, everyone met their demise. Several tried to run, but the help who were friends with Caleb blocked the doors. They had seen the way their fellow servant had been looking lately, and they could deduce what happened by the way Gale was reacting. They wanted their employers to suffer almost as much as Gale did.

Eventually, Amelia’s brother made his way towards her hidden form. Throwing the chair out of the way, he was met face to face with the frightened seven-year-old who had been so kind to him in the past. The sight was enough to break through his anger, and he fell to his knees in defeat. The gun was close to slipping through his hands, but the girl’s brother kept his grip.

“Amelia,” he whispered. “He's gone Amelia. He's gone and it is all my fault.” Amelia shook her head, telling him that it was not his fault. “You don’t have to lie to me, I know that I am the one who killed him. I should not have chosen this path.”

His voiced was laced with such anguish that it penetrated deep into the corners of Amelia’s young heart. She could not bear to see anyone in such pain. Slowly, the girl stood and walked over to her brother’s overpowered being and embraced him in as much comfort and love as she could muster. That was the moment when Gale realized that he could not live without Caleb, just the same as Caleb couldn’t live without him. When Amelia stepped back, Gale smiled gratefully at her, and she momentarily thought that he was going to get better.

“Thank you for everything Amelia,” Gale said, and with the last of his strength he pulled the trigger one last time.

Amelia Sydney Rhinehart was the only member of her family whose life was not lost that night. As much as she loved her brother, she refused to think back to the moment when she was covered in his brain matter and he was finally at peace. The thought of the two lovers meeting again in the afterlife was not enough of a consolation to allow her to accept the death of the person she cared the most for. She decided that she would write down the story just once, and then never mention the incident again.

Eventually, everyone forgot about the tragedy that occurred that night, and the only evidence that it even happened are the many gravestones and Amelia’s words. When I read the dusty pages I discovered one day, something happened to me. I knew what happened that night. I knew what it was that haunted my namesake in all of her photographs. I knew that I felt a connection to the story, and it had nothing to do with Amelia.

I remember exactly how Gale felt on that night. I remember the love that he felt for Caleb. I remember how the boy’s crystal blue eyes made Gale’s heart flutter and swell beneath his chest, beneath my chest. I feel all of these things deep within my bones as if they were my own feelings, my own experiences. That is why when everyone else chose to forget, I decided that I always wanted to remember.

Their love shall never die.