Turn Around

I pulled the gearstick to parking mode and rolled down the window of the passenger seat. Leaving my finger still on the button, I attempted to sift through my thoughts and simply clarify my feelings. From the safe walls of my car, I stared meekly at the grey building standing ridiculously still just five meters from the pathway. 

Too busy laughing at my own silly made-up hilarity, I never realized the vibration pouring from the phone tucked deep inside my pocket. I reached for it already having an idea of who it could've been. Irish candy. And of course it was right. "Yes?"

"And a lovely hi to you too," he muttered in a joking manner. I laughed wondering how this all happened. If I wasn't me I'd probably have released my hold on Niall a long time ago, regardless of the situation, it would've been about his closeness. Others called it clingy, I called it caring but there was a certain limit that he may surpass soon. "Wanna hang out again?"

I smiled at his anticipation. I'd never had someone genuinely excited about spending time within my presence and it made me relieved, and also a tad frightened, that a world famous band member even bothered to look at me a second time. I guessed I had to call myself profusely fortunate instead of moping around half the time. 

As if my conscience had that moment on tape, I absentmindedly placed three fingers on my lips. My eyelids slid close remembering the feel of his soft lips against mine. At first they were gentle, the result of me shocking him a bit, then they were vengeful. His tongue wrestled with mine as I fought for dominance because it was revenge I had wanted. Once I felt the part of him getting a little over excited I knew I had succeeded. 

Oh I could be cruel. 

"Chris? You still there?" His voice, really dripping with his Irish accent, was like a fishing rood, reeling me back into reality. Evidently enough, these days - when Niall entered my realm of usual darkness with his dyed blond roots, crystal clear orbs and that unbearably cute smile when he laughed - real life seemed better in my dreams. However I didn't mind falling asleep because dear Horan visited me in those times too. 

"I'm so whipped," I whispered to nobody in particular. I heard Niall say something but I cut him off. "I'm right-uh, I'm coming. Just a few minutes," I lied, mentally slapping myself for almost letting him know I was right outside. 

I heard a scream from the other end of the line and immediately I knew it was Nadine fooling around. "What's she doing?" I exclaimed. 

"Christi-Anne, if you don't come here sooner I will call your mother!" I heard something drop and clang against, what I guessed was, a tiled floor while my best friend continued on her faux threatening spiel. "And tell her about all the naughty things you've been doing with dear Niall Horan."

Shaking my head at her nonsense, I smiled. "Okay, I'm hanging up now!"

"Okay, you be careful sweetheart. Phone driving isn't acceptable y'know." 

I rolled my eyes as if they were able to see me and ended the conversation. Slight guilt pulsed through my veins, knowing I'd just lied to my best friend and Niall - I wasn't even sure what I should've called him yet - and that simply added them to the mad infinite list of people I was currently backstabbing and betraying. 

With a defeated groan I slumped back into the seat head hanging extremely low and shameful. Getting together with Niall should've been a happy occasion but it was all a slow motion blur of betrayal, lies, confrontations and silly predicaments. If I had wanted a chick flick life, then I would've nicely asked for it. 

Finally finished with the growing complaints, I gathered any courage left hidden in the crevices of my soul, pushing down the extra doubts attempting to whirl me back into my thoughts. I've been dwelling and thinking much too often recently when I should've been having the time of my life. I pulled out the key and locked my car. 

My hand hesitated on the doorknob of my flat building. As if not being able to see the interior would've fixed my feelings of inferiority, I closed my eyes as I pushed the simplified gate open. Taking in a deep necessary breath I lifted my eyelids and scoped the place as if the paparazzi were to jump me anytime soon. 

"Christie!" a voice yelled. 

I snapped my head towards the direction of the shouts and caught a glimpse of blond before being enveloped within a set of slender, jumper covered arms. I felt my feet levitate off the surface of the planet I'd known for many years and I screamed. He spun me around, and instead of enjoying the adorable gesture, I flung my my hands behind his neck and buried my face in the crook of his shoulders begging for everything to end. 

He eventually placed me back onto Earth's beloved ground and if it wasn't embarrassing enough I would've kissed the floor. I looked up at him, feeling the fear in my eyes. His pitiful blue orbs gazed at me and I felt ashamed to even be in the near presence of his. It wasn't my fault I wasn't a massive fan of romantic notions like that. "Sorry." At this thought I lowered my head letting the strands of my hair form a curtain over my face.

"What are you sorry for?"

I chewed my bottom lip. "It's just that-not only this. Everything. I'm sorry." He laughed off my apology earning him a smack on the arm from me. "It's not funny!"

"Hey, we get to spend more time together though. And I guess for intense cover up, I'll have to flirt with other girls."

Raising an eyebrow I murmured, "Fine. I guess I'll have to bask in the company of Harry."

My comeback slapped him the face like a classic bucket of cold water. He stared at me eyes wide with horror. His bandmate Harry never really had an honorable reputation, being the flirtatious and 'I can charm off the pants of any girl', even though he was a real sweetheart. I guessed the first part caught Niall hard.

His hand found my chin and he demanded for me to look him in the eye. "Love, you can't replace an Irishman." And with that he captured my bottom lip with his and I realized that he had always had the dominating strength in this duo. "And now that you're my girlfriend a man has to be faithful aye?"

Girlfriend.

The one word sent my stomach into an array of somersaults. "Really?" I stuttered out. He nodded with that beautiful smile of his. "Then you'd have to teach me how to pretend to not be your girlfriend. Because y'know my brother is a bloody tosser."

He chuckled under a breath, gripping my waist and pulling closer than ever before. "Chris," he whispered in my ear, "your brother will facepalm himself when he realizes how good we are together."

"Now that is something I'd pay to see. Oh and my mother thinks I'm dating someone now."

"That's okay. She won't have to know who." 

The way he said it made the situation we were in sound attractive somehow. It made me feel young, hot and rebellious considering I was never an outgoing person. Maybe we could fool Leo and maybe this new and 'forbidden' relationship I'd signed up for exciting. The trouble I knew I was getting myself into almost seemed bearable. "Let's do this poo."