Far From Perfect

I kinda love airports. Something about the vibe is pretty amazing. Everyone’s about to board a huge collection of metal to soar through the sky impossibly and land safely somewhere else. How could you be anything but happy at such a time?
And yet, of course there are those business men and women that always look angry at the world and complain about anything, but first class.
But they don’t matter today. Today, no one can bring me down. Especially considering that I just spent two and a half hours in the back seat of my mom’s car with my little brother and sister. Gosh, I love those kids.

“Can we get some ice cream, Jay?” Kylie pleads. Her brown eyes match mine and she widens them as she looks up at me.

“Ice cream! Ice cream!” Austin chants and I laugh.

“Sure, guys. Come on,” I chuckle. They each grab one of my hands and I lead them over to the airport’s closest ice cream shop.

“I wan’ chocolate!” Austin whines. He bounces up and down, trying to see over the metallic bars to the ice cream tubs. I pick him so he can see.

“Pistachio, please,” Kylie says looking up at me. I shake my head.

“You’re the only person I know that enjoys pistachio ice cream, Ky.”

She beams.

“Here you go, Jason. Here’s your ticket, address of the Montez family, and . . .” I turn around and find my mother crying.

“Mom,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around her. She sniffles.

“You’ve never been away from me. How am I supposed to handle these little hooligans?”

“Hooligans! Hooligans!” Austin chants. Mom and I laugh.

“You’ll be fine, Ma. Plus you have Gabriel.”

Mom rolls her eyes at me. “As if he’ll be any help. I don’t even know where he is.”

“I’m right here, Ma,” Gabe says. His hands clasp onto Austin’s shoulders to stop the little boy’s bouncing.

Mom and I exchange a knowing glance. Gabe can be a bit . . . absent. He has this way of being somewhere completely different in his head than in his body and it’s . . . caused some problems.

“Yes, but I can’t leave you alone to watch Austin and Kylie. Last time, you almost burned the house down, Gabe.”

Gabe’s eyebrows furrow in anger and he storms away toward the gate my plane will be leaving from in just a little while.

I go after him. “Gabe. Come on, bro. You know Mom doesn’t blame you. It’s just . . . you’re not always with us in the head and that becomes a problem when you’re watching a three and a five year old. When you’re with them you have to be focused twenty-seven.”

He sighs and looks out the huge window at the planes. “I . . . I don’t mean to . . . to go into my own thoughts so deeply, it just happens and I don’t realize it until something bad has already happened.”

I sigh and put an arm around his shoulders. “I know, man. I know. And it’s not your fault, alright? We don’t blame you. We just have to watch out for the little ones. I know you want them to be safe too.”

“Yeah. I just wish Mom didn’t have to spend money to get a babysitter. I mean, what am I even around for. I mind as well just disappear.”

I turn him to look at me. “Hey, none of that, Gabriel. You are a very important member of this family. We need you as much as you need us and you’re an excellent older brother when you’re thoughts are with us. Alright, man?”

He gulped and shifted his hazel eyes away from mine. “Okay.”

I give him a big smile. “Good.”

Mom walks toward us with those two hooligans trailing behind. “Here’s your ice cream, boys.”

I grin and hug her. “Thanks, Ma.”

Austin gives me a weird look. “I wanted chocolate!”

I return the half glare with a smirk. “You have chocolate, Aus.”

“So do you! You stole my flavor!”

Everyone laughs at his anger and I rub his head.

“That’s life, little man.”

I’ve been on planes before. Usually to Florida, which is only a two hour flight from my hometown in Jersey. So I’ve never been on a long flight, especially not a twelve hour flight.
But I made it somehow, between occupying myself on my laptop and with my iPod. When I get out of the airport, I’m in a different world. I’m suddenly in Madrid, Spain.
When I first heard about the au pair opportunity, I thought it was pretty cool. You get to go to another country for a couple months and be part of a family and all you have to do is cook a couple meals and teach some kids proper English. But, I mean, I go to Atlantic City High and I live in Venice Park, how would I pay for the trip? When I mentioned to the councilor that I thought it was an interesting opportunity, she hooked me up with all the information. And when I told her that I’d never be able to afford it, she told me that the family she had in mind, would pay for everything.
So here I am, in Madrid, Spain, about to catch the Madrid Metro using Euros to get to some the Montez’s.

“Uh, perdóneme. ¿Dónde está el metro?” I ask an older gentleman nervously. I know that Spanish is a little different in Spain then what I’ve been learning in class.

He looks up at me and smiles. “La siguiente calle, a la izquierda.”

“Gracias.” I follow the man’s direction and find myself on the Madrid Metro soon after.
I can’t believe I’m really here.

“Jason?” the middle-aged Spanish woman I’m assuming is Mrs. Montez asks me.

“Sí, senora. Mucho gusto,” I grin.

She welcomes me in and quickly shows me to my room to put my stuff away. The room is of adequate size and a pale beige. You can here birds chirping and the occasional car, but it’s rather peaceful, and suddenly I feel home sick. Yeah, I realize that I’m a total dork for missing my mommy after only being away for fourteen hours, but I still do. Like she said earlier, I’ve never been away from her, or Gabe, or Kylie, or Austin for more than a few hours.

“Jason, would you mind, uh, retrieving Guillermo?” Mrs. Montez asks me. Guillermo . . . Guillermo . . . Oh yeah, their son. He’s my age, I think.

“Donde . . . Would I find him?” I chuckle, at our sad attempt to mix languages.

Senora laughs too. “He works at a fotografía shop on the next street.”

I nod. “Okay, sure.”

“Oh, and when you come back, uh, you must meet the children.”
I give her a sweet smile and head out the door.

When I enter the photography shop, I’m hit with several photographs of families. Dozens of different Spanish families cover the walls of the shop lobby, giving it a very . . . welcoming feeling. Everything about Spain is welcoming.

“¿Te puedo ayudar?” a guy about my age asks. He’s got on black hipster glasses, plugs in his ears lobes, and a lip ring. He looks like he belongs to that weird metal band at my school, not in a photography shop in the middle of Madrid, Spain. Though the camera around his neck does help.

“Uh, sí. Are you Guillermo?” I ask.

He looks at skeptically. “Yeah?”

I give him a questioning look at his American slang. “Um, me llamo Jason. I’m the au pair your parents hired for the summer.”

Guillermo nods. “Right, right. I’m Will.”

Okay, now I’m skeptical. A minute ago, he sounded like he’d been speaking Spanish his whole life, now he sounds like he grew up in the U.S.

“Nice to meet you, Will. You speak really good English.”

He smirks. “I take an American culture course at school. We learn slang, pop culture, and stuff.”

I nod. “Your mother wanted me to come get you.”

His eyes shift over me and suddenly, I’m a little self-conscious, ‘cause I think he’s checking me out. How odd.

“Um, alright. I’ve got one more family to photograph. You can stick around,” he smirks before walking away.

I take a seat in the lobby and decide to video chat my mom. But, oh yeah. The time difference.

“Hey, um, Will,” I call. He appears in the short hallway.

“Yeah?”
“What time is it?”

“Uh, two . . . Y media?”

I laugh. “Thanks.” So it’s ten at home, Mom should be up.

The chat rings for a while before she answers. “Jason!”

“Hey, Mom,” I grin.

“How was your trip? How are the Montez’s?” She looks like she might cry.

“I’m fine, Ma. They’re nice. I haven’t met the children yet.”

Mom nods and smiles. “I’m so proud of you, Jason.”

“Thank you, Mom. That means a lot.”

A tear spills and she quickly wipes it away.
I hear a scream from her side and Mom looks to the side.

“I gotta go, Jay. But call as much as you can, alright?”

“Yeah. I will, Ma.”

She gives me a bright smile. “Okay. So long.”

“You’re pretty close to your Mom, huh?” The accent catches me off guard after hearing my mother’s voice.

I look up and see Will staring down at me. “Yeah. My dad’s in the military, so I’m kinda the man of the house.”

Will nods. “Uh, I’m done. So we can leave.”

I notice the camera bag now and stand up from the chair. “Cool.”

When we get back, I hear children’s laughter. I’m here to teach the little Montez’s English and I am certainly looking forward to meeting them.

Mrs. Montez pushes a little girl and a little boy toward me. “Jason, this is Emilia y Carlos.”

I smile at the brown-eyed five year olds. “Hola, niños.”

“Hola!” they chime, looking excited.

“Jason is going to be teaching you two to speak English, okay?” Will asks.

They nod. I’m glad they understand English.

Dinner is an interesting time. I mean, I knew the Montez’s were rather wealthy and I figured they’d expect a lot of their children, but the way they criticize Will is completely unfair and utterly embarrassing in front of a guest.

“If you didn’t spend all your time at that fotografia shop, we wouldn’t need Jason to teach your brother and sister English. Familia comes first, Guillermo,” Mr. Montez spits at his son.

Will doesn’t seem to bothered though. “If you worked less, you could teach them.”

“I provide for this family, William. I have to work. You just go play around with camera’s all day. That’s not a job or a career. It’s a waste of time!”

Will just stares at him with a bored expression, like he hears it everyday. I wouldn’t doubt that he does.

I try to enjoy my gambas ajillo, but watching the unhealthy exchange was killing my appetite.

“Stop, Luis,” Mrs. Montez scolds, glancing at me. Mr. Montez looks at me too, and I see that his wrath will be turning to me. I don’t mind, though.

“Jason,” he says my name with disgust that I know I don’t deserve. “I didn’t get a chance to see your picture before you arrived. I didn’t know you were . . . Black.”

My teeth automatically grind. I hate racist mother fuckers. I hate people that judge me just because I’m Black. Not because I’m an honor roll student, or that I have job, or that I watch my siblings when I’m not at school or working, but because my skin is a different pigment then theirs. How prehistoric of someone to even think that I’m less of a man because I get a little bit more sun.

“Is that going to be a problem, Senor Montez?” I give him an innocent look, but we both know that I’m more than angry.

He clears his throat. “I hope not, Jason. If I find any drugs in your room, you will promptly be fired. And don’t bring any girls here.”

His stereotypes threaten to make me snap, but instead I give him an amused smile. With his amount of bigotry toward Black people and visual art, I’m sure I can guess one more thing he hates.

“Don’t worry, sir. I’m gay.”

It’s suddenly silent. Like dead silent and I feel like I may have just put a bullet in this opportunity.

Mr. Montez’s face reddens and I can almost hear his blood boiling. “You’re what?”

I glance around and see that Mrs. Montez is desperately searching for some way to clam the situation. Will is smirking like he’s never seen anything funnier.

“I’m gay, sir. Yo soy homosexual.”

Mr. Montez begins to shake a little and his dark eyebrows furrow into one. A loud bang sounds as he slams on the table and pushes his chair back. He’s out of the room before anything can be said and I worry he’s going to come back with some sort of weapon, but a door slams closed a few seconds later and everyone relaxes.

Mrs. Montez is staring at me and Will is smirking down at his food.

“I . . . I am very sorry, Jason. My husband . . . He has a lot of, uh . . . Pressure.”

I nod, understandingly. “I understand, Senora.”

She looks at me for another second, before switching to Will. She looks angry now.

“Clean this up when everyone is done.”

Will looks hurt. “Sure, Mom.”

Mrs. Montez leaves the dining room quickly and a door closes a few moments later.

Will clears his throat. “Um, can you help me with the dishes please?”

“Sure.” We collect all of the dishes and I help Will wash them as well, before he bends down in front of his little brother and sister who are still sitting at the table.

“Okay, guys. Ready for bed?” Will asks, and I see him smile for the first time. It’s kind of extremely beautiful and I’m a little breathless at the site.

The children nod and he grabs their hands and leads them upstairs. I follow because I figure I mind as well get to know the kids as best I can. And not just the twins.

He puts them to bed quickly and turns off the light.
“I love you guys,” he whispers in the doorway.

“I love you too,” they whisper and it reminds me of Austin and Kylie. I miss them already.

Will looks at me after he closes the door. He doesn’t say anything, just plays with his lip ring and looks at me. It makes me nervous.

“You pissed my dad off.”

I chuckle. “Yeah.”

He smirks. “Thanks.”

I nod. “No problem.”

That amuses him as he walks away to his room. I go to mine and change into some pajamas.

I lie on my back and look up at the ceiling. Two months. Two months here and then I’m going back home. I can do it. It’s going to fly by.

“Jason. Jason, get up. Jay, come on man.”
I groan and roll onto my back, keeping my eyes closed. Will’s chuckle makes me open my eyes to glare at him.

But his eyes are on my shirtless abdomen. He licks his bottom lip before biting it as he admires my abs.

“What, Will?” I groan, my voice raspy. His eyes shift to mine and lust isn’t even a strong enough word for what I see.

“You’re brother is requesting a video chat downstairs.”

I sit up. “Are your parents here?”

He shakes his head.

“Great. I don’t have to put a shirt on,” I smirk. He just stares at me.

I’ve been in Spain for a month now and it’s really fun. I teach Emilia and Carlos how to speak English all day, hang out with Will in the afternoon, and suffer through dinner with Mr. Montez and his bigotry. I even purposely piss him off ever now and then.

I hop down the stairs and over to the desktop in the living room. I wipe my eyes before accepting the video chat.

Gabe’s face shows up on the screen a moment later.

“Hey, Gabe.”

“Jay! What’s going on?” Gabe grins and looks to the side, probably at Kylie or Austin.

“Nothing much. How’re you?”

“Good. Mom took me to the doctor and they gave me some medicine for to help me concentrate. So Ma let’s me watch Ky and Aus alone now.”

“Really? Wow. Mom told me you were getting better. You’re doing a great job, bro.”

He smiles at me and his hazel eyes shine. “Thanks, Jay.”

I smile back. “Let me talk to Kylie and Austin.”

“‘Kay.” He calls the two and they’re in the camera’s view a few seconds later.

“Jay! I miss you!” Kylie says. Austin bounces on the other side of Gabe.

“Jay, I gotta dinosaur!” He hits the camera with a big, plastic dinosaur and Gabe pulls him back.

I laugh. “I miss you guys too. But I’ll be home in a month, before you even know it, alright?”

They all smile and I tell them bye, before logging off.

I hear Will banging around in the kitchen and head that way. Emilia and Carlos are sitting at the table, waiting for Will to serve them.

“What’re you cooking?”

“Eww, you don’t have a shirt on!” Carlos exclaims. I laugh. His English is pretty good, but his writing makes me worry. I think he might be Dyslexic. I wonder how Mr. Montez will take that.

“Sorry, Charlie.” As well as teaching them, I also call them by them their names in English. They seem to think it’s cool.

“Don’t apologize,” I hear Will mumble. I glance toward the stove, but his back is facing me.

I won’t deny the chemistry between me and Will. I mean, we pretty much act like brothers in the house and boyfriends outside. We flirt constantly and . . . I really like, but his dad is homophobic and racist. So I guess we both know it would never work.

“Today, we’re going to learn the English name for breakfast food.”

They both look at me. Will sets some pancakes on the table.

“Okay. This is . . .?”

“La tortita,” Emilia chirps.

“Good,” I pull the plate of pancakes toward us and they each take one. “In English, it’s a pancake. Can you say that for me?”

“Pancake,” they both say. I smile.

“Exactly. What else you got, Will?”

He smirks. “Huevos, beicon, y salchicha.”

“That’s eggs, bacon, and sausage in English, okay?”

“Eggs, bacon, and suesage.”

I laugh. “Sausage. Sau-sage.”

“Sausage,” they say.

“Awesome job, guys.”

After breakfast, I teach Carlos and Emilia some more, before Will and I go out to buy some ice cream.

“I think Charlie might be Dyslexic,” I tell Will. He looks at me.

“That’s what his teacher told my dad. He said she was stupid for thinking that and she needed to teach better. He won’t accept that maybe he needs to change his view of perfection.”

I sigh. “Maybe, I’ll talk to him. It’ll be easier for Carlos if he starts learning to control it now.”

Will nods. “Yeah, I know.”

He opens the door to the ice cream shop.

“Hola. Necesito tres chocolate y uno pistacho helados,” Will tells the worker.

When we’re walking back to the his house, I notice Will eating the pistachio.

“I thought my little sister was the only one who liked pistachio ice cream.”

His eyes shift to mine as he takes gives the cone a long lick. Is he teasing me?

“Nope.”

I somehow hold myself back for the rest of the walk and the children jump us when we return.

“Is your dad here now?” I ask Will. He nods.

I stick my ice cream in the freezer and walk over to Mr. Montez’s home office.

It’s open, but I still knock.

“Come in, Jason,” Mr. Montez mumbles. “Have a seat.”

I sit down. “Sir, I believe Carlos may be Dyslexic.”

His dark eyes meet mine. “He’s fine.”

“Yeah, that’s true. He’s also Dyslexic.”

He glares at me. “You have some nerve coming into my office and telling me there’s something wrong with my son, Jason,” he spits my name with anger.

“There’s nothing wrong with him, he just needs help reading because letters turn around and turn into each other and- shit! You’re a fucking horrible father! You fucking suck! Your kids can’t come to you with anything without you judging the fuck out of them! What the hell makes you think you’re so damn perfect, huh?”

I haven’t blown up like that in a very long time, but I don’t regret it. Carlos deserves some one to stand up for him. And so do Will and Emilia.

Mr. Montez stands up and points a finger at me. “Get out. Get out of my house.”

I stomp out of his office and out the door, fuming. What the hell is wrong with him?

“Jason! Stop,” Will’s accent catches my ears and I pause. He catches up to me and pulls my shirt until I turn around. “What happened?”

His brown eyes bore into mine and I get lost in a sea of emotion. Mine and his. Then suddenly, I’m leaning into him and my lips are on mine and we’re kissing. And not like I’m-a-little-nervous,-but-I-want-you-to-know-that-I-like-you kissing, I’m talking straight hidden and forbidden, passionate kissing. Like maybe this is the last time we’ll ever get to see each other, kissing.

When we both realize that oxygen is a necessary element for our bodies, we pull apart.

Will is looking at me with those eyes still and it does something to my soul.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

Will stares at me. “Sí.”

The second month goes by quickly. Quicker than the first probably because I have Will. We’ve managed to keep our relationship under his parents radar, but Mr. Montez hates me anyway.

“So it’s your last night here, Jason. Did you, uh, enjoy your trip?” Mrs. Montez asks. Her English has gotten better too, probably from all the arguments she’s had with her husband.

I smile. “Yes. It was a really amazing opportunity and I hope to be able to come back again someday.”

Mrs. Montez’s smile brightens. “Well, Mr. Montez and I have decide to ask if you’d be able to come back next summer. This family has never spoken better English then we do now. It’s all thanks to you, Jason.”

I glance at Mr. Montez to see if he’s really a part of this decision. He gives me a sarcastic smile.

I smirk. “I would really love that. Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Montez.

“No, thank you, Jason. You’ve opened our eyes to a lot of things,” she says, looking at her husband.

He clears his throat. “Yes, we’re going to miss you, Jason.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” I look around at Carlos, and Emilia, and Will. I’m really going to miss them.

“Jason. Jay baby, wake up.”

I groan deeply. “What, Will?”

He chuckles and climbs on top of me. “You’re leaving in a couple hours.”

I open my eyes and I’m met with his playful expression. “I know. I’m gonna miss you, Will.”

He places his arms on either side of my head. “Not as much as I’ll miss you.”

I look outside and see that it’s still pitch black. “What time is it?”

“Three.”

We stare into each other’s eyes for what seems like a short time, but is probably half an hour. I don’t think I’ve ever been this in love.

Will kisses me and I squeeze his waist, trying to somehow make us closer. His tongue traces over my lips and I open my mouth to him. Our tongues graze and we make out for a while before just laying in each other’s arms.

At four, I get up. Will latches onto me and I carry him with me into the bathroom attached to my room. He sits on the counter while I shower and sings softly.

“Do you have to work today?”

“Yeah, I have three families, I think.”

I turn the shower off and pull a towel around my waist. I kiss him and lift him off the counter.

Once we’re both freshly dressed, Will and I get a taxi to the airport.

And then all of a sudden it’s time to say goodbye.

I can’t believe this was our last night together.

Will smirks at me. “Try to fend off all the guys after you.”

I roll my eyes. “You have nothing to worry about there, babe.”

He bites his lip and hugs me tightly. It’s not tight enough.

I wipe the tears from his face when we pull back. “I love you, Will.”

He stares at me with those beautiful eyes. “Te amo, Jason.”

Our lips meet and I inhale his scent. How will I make it nine months without him?

“See you in nine months.”

Will smiles. “Same place, same words.”

I sigh. “Definitely.”

I board the plane and settle into my seat.

I can’t wait until next summer.